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December 24, 2000
LIBERTIES
Hillary's Stocking Stuffer
By MAUREEN DOWD
------------------------------------------------------------------------
WASHINGTON Poor little Hillary.
She's the most famous face in the Senate. She just got $8 million for her story. She has a huge house in Chappaqua and is shopping for another huge house in D.C. Her husband is set to make a fortune writing his own memoir and pocketing six figures a pop to do what he loves to do: talk.
And yet, something is missing.
A $2,340 Spode soup tureen, with stand, for starters.
Some of the first lady's wealthy friends and contributors have been fretting that Hillary has never had a chance to accumulate the sort of elegant appurtenances that they have, that the poor girl is starting her grand new life with nothing.
So they decided it would be nice to treat her like a bride building a nest from scratch and send her housewarming presents from one of her favorite stores, Borsheim's Fine Jewelry and Gifts, the Omaha emporium and subsidiary of Berkshire Hathaway, owned by Hillary admirer and donor Warren Buffett.
Attention Hillary shoppers! Only nine more days before that pesky Senate gift ban goes into effect!
The Clintons have spent most of their adult lives enjoying affordable public housing. They had scant furniture stored to decorate the Chappaqua manse probably precious period pieces such as Marimekko wall hangings and bookcases made of cinder blocks and plywood much less a Washington manse.
Sure, Bill wouldn't care. He looks as if he'd be completely at home with shag rugs, lava lamps and styrofoam coffee cups.
Some lawmakers think of their Washington digs as temporary, and live like college students. Two years ago, millionaire Senator Sam Brownback of Kansas rented the cramped two-bedroom Capitol Hill apartment that Marc Santora, my 26-year-old assistant, was leaving. Mr. Brownback bunked in with Representative Jim DeMint of South Carolina, keeping Marc's exquisite white plastic trash can, bamboo shades and whiffle bat, until the property was condemned a year later.
But Mrs. Clinton is no longer a Crate & Barrel liberal. She's a populist with a sweet tooth for the perquisites of arriviste life. She'll need something to suit her new station, and her new airs.
Lissa Muscatine, Mrs. Clinton's spokeswoman, says that the first lady's silver and china patterns can be found at Borsheim's. Hillary shopped there when she was in Omaha last March to raise campaign money, with Mr. Buffett's help.
I clicked onto Borsheim's bridal registry on the Web to sample the merchandise. What would Mrs. Clinton like? Just some basics to get her started. Place settings for 40, including oyster forks and marmalade spoons?
Supporters have suggested the Faberg้ Sterling Imperial Court silverware for the former czarina of health care. The Web site describes this as "a magnificent neo-Classical style pattern that was originally produced for the Grand Palace, Peterhof . . . intricate detailing with a laurel wreath on the tip."
The vegetable serving spoon is a bargain at $510 and an iced tea spoon goes for only $240. Asparagus tongs are a mere $535.
For china, some of her friends give the nod to the Spode Stafford Flowers china pattern, described on the Web site as "a breathtaking pattern. Stafford Flowers has a scalloped shape with generous gold trim in a raised design. Twenty-two different flowers in vivid purples, pinks, blues and yellows are featured. . . ."
It's easy to picture Bill tossing leftover pizza onto a $980 vegetable dish or spearing some fries with a $284 lobster fork.
But Hillary will need the booty the $716 teapot, the $476 sauce boat, the $792 punch ladle to entertain a parade of possible contributors for her next political adventure.
As a senator, Mrs. Clinton won't be able to accept gifts worth more than $100. But as first lady, she can take gifts as long as she discloses those over $250. So we have a nice window of opportunity before Jan. 3.
Ms. Muscatine said of the first couple that "people have routinely gotten them gifts, especially around the holidays. This year, because of the holidays and because it is their last year in the White House, there have been more inquiries."
So don't miss your chance to influence a future senator or president. Call 1-800-642-GIFT to be part of Hillary's holiday haul.
Fork over a fork today.
PARDON ME, by Hillary Rodham Clinton is a great name for her book about adversity. Given the full scope of her story, the text should read: 1. Pardon Me for blaming others for my pain when my husband instigated the ridicule on the first day he belittled our marriage. 2. Pardon Me for being so short-sighted and not realizing that even Ken Starr's reputed witch hunt could have been triggered by his professional disbelief that I an ivy leaguer, officer of the court, "co-president-in-training" for the better part of my adult years, and overall astute woman--could--be so naive about the issues central to my professional and personal life. 3. Pardon Me for making claims that my husband holds children's welfare close to his heart especially since he beamed throughout "trailer park trash" campaign. Yes, he beamed as he also knew that his statements would cause Paula Jones' young child to absorb, endure, and resolve an intense emotional pain as he walked throughout the area as some international sandwich sign for "white trash". 4. Pardon Me for not making any crimes committed by "mean spirited, professionals for profit" public where the cases shared similar incidents of (a) indecent exposure, and (b) a federal official lying under oath. It's just, now that I'm an ALL-knowing officer of the court, champion of justice, exiting co-president, elected official, and an all-round more politically savvy politician, I prefer to exercise a course of action wherein I, the little woman, retreat into the shadows of an internal mental debate and ponder (until the problem disappears) the real meaning of what is before us!
One can only wonder how much furniture, etc., will be "liberated" from the White House and moved to Hillary's new home.
You reminded me of this oldie, but goodie from 1996:
CLINTONS AND FRIENDS PRESENT LIST
FLOODLIGHT FINDINGS FROM FEENEY
by Bill Feeney
December 19, 1996
appeared in TPD/P
Now is the time of year when people are shopping for Christmas and Hanukkah (late purchasers on that) presents for friends and relatives. In the spirit of the season, the following are suggested presents for the named Clinton administration officials and friends of the administration. The list also notes the title, position, or background of the person followed by one or more appropriate gifts:
Craig Livingstone, former bar bouncer and former head of White House security and collector of FBI files on Republicans: convincing and unincriminating explanations of (1) why he went to the hospital to identify Vince Foster's body when he swore that he had never previously met him, (2) why he can't remember who hired him for the most important job in his life
Anthony Marcecca, former White House collector of FBI files on Republicans: a fifth of Scotch with a note from Bill Clinton saying "In case anyone asks, this is what I met when I told you last June to take the fifth. Happy holidays. President Bill Clinton."
Bob Bennett, Washington superlawyer, defender of Bill Clinton in the Paula Jones sex harassment suit: model White House with a stone wall around it
John Huang, former Democratic National Committee fund-raiser, Lippo Group executive, and Commerce Department official: CD set of Phantom of the Opera sound track commemorating his hiding from process servers for several weeks
James Riady, Lippo Group executive and Democratic contributor: Honorary Secretary of State award for greatest influence over U.S. foreign policy
Janet Reno, Attorney General: a set of blinders custom made for her so that she can explain why she can't see the need to appoint Independent Counsels to investigate (1) illegal contributions to the DNC collected by Huang and/or given by Lippo related entities as part of plan to influence U.S. foreign policy including personal meetings of Lippo executives with Bill Clinton, (2) multiple thousand dollar DNC contributions from Buddhist monks and nuns sworn to poverty at an event personally attended by Vice President Al Gore, and (3) the wholesale granting of citizenship to aliens with criminal backgrounds in violation of the law as part of the speed up requested by V.P. Al Gore and his staff
James Carville, Clinton campaign consultant: a paintball gun specially modified to fire mudballs for use in the campaign against Starr
Susan Thomassas, N.Y. attorney, friend of Bill and Hillary Rodham Clinton: a memory improvement course so she can remember how many times she said that she couldn't remember when testifying about the search of Vince Foster's office and related matters
George Stephanopoulos, senior presidential aide and soon-to-be ABC commentator: a shredded copy of the First Amendment to commemorate Stephanopoulos' largely successful campaign to block former FBI agent Gary Aldrich from network television appearances promoting his "Unlimited Access" book, prior to Stephanopoulos bragging that "We killed it" [the Aldrich book] and the book becoming a huge bestseller
Sen. Christopher Dodd, chairman of the Democratic National Committee: a parrot that talks, but only says the word "extremist" [this giving Dodd a taste of what he subjected us to during the election campaign]
Maggie Williams, chief of staff to Hillary Rodham Clinton and remover of documents from Vince Foster's office: a cart to carry documents from the office of the next White House aide to die mysteriously (so she doesn't have to rely on a White House intern to carry files as he may later tell the truth about helping her remove documents, putting her in jeopardy of perjury charges)
Bernard Nussbaum, former White House chief counsel: instructions on what to do when up the Whitewater creek without a paddle
David Watkins, former White House aide fired over use of President's helicopter as a golf cart: Since his contemporaneous notes and his subsequent sworn testimony subject Hillary Rodham Clinton to possible perjury and obstruction of justice charges on Travelgate, a life insurance policy ( in case he is tempted to go to an obscure park and terminate his life with a sorrowful last note saying that he lied in his notes about Hillary firing the Travel Office staff, but that the hard working Clintons and their loyal staff only want to do good things for the country)
Susan McDougal, former business associate of Bill & Hillary, now convicted felon and in jail over her refusal to testify about Clinton's misdeeds: a friendly reminder, through anonymous sources, that jail isn't so bad compared to what happened to Foster
Mark Fabiani, former White House Whitewater and scandal control attorney: a true honor, the first to receive a Slick award from the American Bar Association. The Slick award is a statue of a certain president. The Slick will be given to the attorney who publicly handled more scandals than any other in a given year.
Dick Morris, former Clinton campaign advisor on family values issues, who resigned after showing the Clinton family values speeches to a $200 an hour professional hotel guest: a holiday card from Bill Clinton thanking Morris for fashioning the GOP mask that Clinton wore during the campaign
Jane Sherburne, former White House scandal control attorney and author of memo on the 39 scandals that might derail the Clinton campaign during the election: a listing of 39 other Clinton scandals that she forgot to include on the list
Bruce Lindsay, Friend of Bill, White House political operative, attorney, and unindicted co-conspirator in some of the Whitewater trials: a plaque honoring him as the first unindicted co- conspirator to conspire at the White House since Richard Nixon
Webster Hubbell, Friend of Bill, former law partner of Hillary, former Dep. Asst. Attorney General (and advisor to White House on ethics issues), convicted felon: a plaque signed by Bill Clinton and honoring Hubbell for his efforts to make the Clinton administration the "most ethical in history"
Hillary Rodham Clinton, the First Lady, former health care reformer, former successful cattle futures investor ($1000 to $100,000 in one year), campaigner against the 80s decade of greed: a strategy for convincing the American people that the country can never be a village for helping children until the federal government has a department for applying bandages to kids with cuts from falling off their bikes
Bill Clinton, the actor currently pretending to be president in photo- ops and on TV
5. An additional couple hundred thousand votes from the cemeteries of Chicago so that he can claim to have received a majority of the votes in the election.
4. An additional couple hundred thousand dollars from the Lippo Group so that he can keep Susan McDougal quiet.
3. A handbook for foreign affairs with phone numbers of some of the hottest bimbos.
2. A set of CD-ROMs containing the FBI, IRS, background, and personnel files on all Republicans, Ken Starr and all his staff, and all of his political enemies.
1. An appreciation by the American people that David Hale, Gennifer Flowers, Sally Perdue, the Arkansas state troopers who charged him with womanizing, FBI agents Aldrich and Scullimbrene, Secret Service officer O'Neil, Don Denton, Jerry Park's widow and son, David Watkins, Paula Jones, and all others who have come forward with direct, personal knowledge to charge Clinton, his wife, and his administration with serious wrongdoing are part of the massive right wing conspiracy against him.
----------
Most materials on the FLOODLIGHT FINDINGS web site may be freely copied for non-profit use as detailed below.
The vegetable serving spoon is a bargain at $510 and an iced tea spoon goes for only $240. Asparagus tongs are a mere $535.
And I'm sure that the Harlem steet people who received handouts "from" Hillary last week will be really impressed by these fine things, when they are invited to dinner at White House II.
Seems to me Mr. Brownback is more needy (and deserving) of gifts from public donors.
I am totally nonplussed about this info. I can't even imagine--this woman occupies a different world than I do. I need to think about this and I hope to return with a more intelligent post.
I, of course, like Reed & Barton, Francis 1st, for silverware. I'll bet that house in New York has been furnished for a long time and paid for by us, the taxpayers along, of course, with some of the furniture and stuff, the Clintons probably lifted from the White House. Doesn't Hillary just make you sick? I think we should give her a home in jail where the American people would be proud to pay for her upkeep.
Is there any limit to the greed of the First Grifters?
Poor, sad Hillary. It's obvious that she can't bear to relinquish the luxury to which she has become accustomed. The noble, ascetic advocate for the wretched and needy whom Time Magazine called "Saint Hillary" has revealed her true face--Marie Antoinette.
What a tacky article. Dowd comes off like a snobby catty
bitch talking about some low-rent white trash that just moved into the neighborhood.
Oh!!!! What do you think? Did I nail the situation?
No, Maureen and Hillary should go to Vermont and get hitched. They'd make a great couple.
Fork Hillary and the horse she and her hillbilly consort rode in on.
Hillary's Stocking Stuffer
For a minute there I thought this was another bent Bill story.
Is there any limit to the greed of the First Grifters?
Obviously Not.
Btw, I like that. The "First Grifters" It fits.
Dowd is only doing a public service here, pointing out that the Queen won't be able to take gifts over $100 after January 3.
You can bet that many of her readers will truly find this information to be valuable.
Dowd is much better when she's discussing fashion and makeovers.
"Dowd is much better when she's discussing fashion and makeovers."
I'm led to believe her next column is titled, "Senatorial Lipo-ankle Reductions." Dowd will discuss a new surgical procedure wherein fat is suctioned from the ankles of freshman senators and blown into the jowls of Pat Moynihan and Joe Lieberman, causing their lower lips to quiver and scrape the floor when they grovel.
I LOVE this article. No wonder Maureen Dowd won the Pulitzer. You ought to go to the NYT website and look up her "Sysiphus At Starbucks" or "Al Gore Agonistes" columns..They're hilarious and all too true.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.
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