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W E L L - K N O W N M O V I E S C E N E S I N W H I C H C E R T A I N L I N E S H A V E B E E N R E P L A C E D W I T H C O M M E N T S A B O U T C O L U M N I S T M A U R E E N D O W D P O S T E D O N T H E C O N S E R V A T I V E W E B S I T E F R E E R E P U B L I C . C O M .
BY TIM BLAIR
ANNIE HALL
Scene: Lovers ANNIE and ALVY are in bed. ANNIE is propped up on one elbow, gazing adoringly at ALVY.
ANNIE: Alvy, let's never break up again. I don't wanna be apart.
ALVY: You are an exceptional liar. You betray the truth at every turn. You care not a whit about the facts of the matter. You blame entirely one side, while ignoring the crimes of the other. And you have lost much of the prestige that you formerly enjoyed.
ANNIE: Living together hasn't been so bad, has it?
ALVY: I have had 8 years of a liberal agenda crammed down my throat. Enabled by pukes like you!
ANNIE: You know I think that if you let me, maybe I could help you have more fun, you know? I mean, I know it's hard and... Alvy, what about... what if we go away this weekend, and we could...
ALVY: Many of us have better things to do than sit slack-jawed and glaze-eyed for hours while filling our heads with leftist tripe.
DEAD POETS SOCIETY
Scene: Teacher MR. KEATING is telling students of the clandestine poetry club he formed when he himself was a student at their school.
KEATING: The Dead Poets was dedicated to "sucking the marrow out of life." That's a phrase from Thoreau we would invoke at the beginning of every meeting. You see, we would gather at the old Indian cave and take turns reading from Thoreau, Whitman, Shelley - the biggies - even some of our own verse. And, in the enchantment of the moment, we'd let poetry work its magic.
KNOX, a student: This is what passes for sophistication in the Beltway. How utterly pathetic and how very predictable.
THE EXORCIST
Scene: REGAN MACNEIL is screeching and thrashing about on her bed. In attendance are her mother, CHRIS MACNEIL, and brain expert DR KLEIN.
REGAN: Mother please! Oh please mother make it stop! It's burning, it's burning! Please, mother!
CHRIS MACNEIL: If this isn't sarcasm, then she truly is whacked.
REGAN: Make it stop, it really hurts! Mother! Make it...
REGAN begins growling like an animal. Rising slowly from the bed, REGAN'S eyes roll back into her head and her throat swells horribly.
DR. KLEIN: She's channelling Al Gore!
REGAN smashes DR KLEIN with the back of her hand, sending the doctor reeling across the room.
CHRIS: Oh, yeah... this broad's gone wacko, if you ask me.
REGAN: Keep away! The sow is mine! F*** me! F*** Me! F*** me! (Screaming wildly, REGAN collapses back on to her bed.)
DR. KLEIN: The rantings of a commie pinko airhead.
JAWS
Scene: A townhall meeting. MAYOR VAUGHN and the local police chief face a hostile citizenry anxious for a solution to their man-eating shark problem. Sea dog QUINT silences the crowd by scraping his fingernails across a chalkboard.
QUINT: Y'all know me. Know how I earn a livin'. I'll catch this bird for ya, but it ain't gonna be easy. It's not like going down to the pond chasin' blue gills or tommy cots. This shark — swallow ya whole. L'il shakin', l'il tenderizin', down ya go. Now we gotta do it quick. That'll bring back the tourists, that'll put all your businesses on a payin' basis. But it's not gonna be pleasant! I value my neck a lot more than 3000 bucks, chief. I'll find him for three, but I'll catch him, and kill him, for ten! Now you gotta make up your minds. Gonna stay alive and ante up? Or ya wanna play it cheap, be on welfare the whole winter? I don't want no volunteers; I don't want no mates. There's too many captains on this island. Ten thousand dollars for me by myself. For that you get the head, the tail, the whole damn thing.
MAYOR VAUGHN: (dismissively) Face it. Your career peaked when you were a copygirl at the old broadsheet New York Post. And we know how long ago that was, don't we?
I must be dense. I don't get it.
its a joke, you clueless twit
While I certainly thank you for pointing that out, and I am eternally in your debt for being so effing smart, why don't you tell me where the humor is?
Twit.
Oh, and "Welcome to FR," clymer.
Priceless! ROFLMAO.....
Hahahaha! That's pretty funny!
You could do an All Your Base are Belong to Us where all the responses to CATS are Freeper putdowns of Molly Ivins!
I would laugh at that too!
You should be feel honored that mrmystery used his very first post on FR to point that out. LOL
Flagging!
Don't get too upset...it's just an excuse for taking potshots at ol' Maureen (although I think one could find a less obtuse method of insulting her)...kind of funny if you've seen the movies, if not, probably kind of lame.
I saw very little humor as well.
(although I think one could find a less obtuse method of insulting her)
For example:
"Maureen, you're a moron!"
"Maureen, I've seen more cogent opinions in fortune cookies!"
"Maureen, Bill Clinton called, he seems to think you forgot to return his extra set of kneepads."
Etc., etc., etc.
Someone set us up the stink bomb.
Good points all, but it's like Rosie O'Donnell on the first day of firearm deer hunting season: One huge target, and about 1,500 drunken hunters with semi-auto shotguns.
She's just too damned easy a mark.
Har! I completely failed to notice that.
Of course, it's possible that mrmisty's other posts got nailed by John's Super-Boffo Post Cleaning PERL Script.
Clueless twit - Did you get that from "How to Make Friends and Influence People" or did you come up with that all by yourself.
Movie Scenes Altered to Include FR Quotes on Maureen Dowd
Movie Posters Altered to Include FReepers
You missed the dense part by 1 post that was somebody else's first post.
Pretty funny actually. LOL.
its a joke, you clueless twit
A joke, yes. Humor, no.
Actually, I think Tim Blair is on to something.
Consider my modest attempt to recycle some of the comments on this thread:
DEAD POETS SOCIETY
KEATING: The Dead Poets was dedicated to "sucking the marrow out of life." That's a phrase from Thoreau we would invoke at the beginning of every meeting.
KNOX: I certainly thank you for pointing that out, and I am eternally in your debt for being so effing smart.
ANNIE HALL
ANNIE: Living together hasn't been so bad, has it?
ALVY: It's a joke, you clueless twit.
THE EXORCIST
REGAN: Keep away! The sow is mine! F*** me! F*** Me! F*** me! (Screaming wildly, REGAN collapses back on to her bed.)
DR. KLEIN: Oh, and "Welcome to FR," clymer.
LOL.
I've tried my hand below, with the responses Altered to Include FR Quotes on Dan Rather (from current threads)....
****
DEAD POETS SOCIETY
KEATING: The Dead Poets was dedicated to "sucking the marrow out of life." That's a phrase from Thoreau we would invoke at the beginning of every meeting.
KNOX: He's so totally clueless, or he's a BIG LIAR trying to act innocent.
*****
ANNIE HALL
ANNIE: Living together hasn't been so bad, has it?
ALVY: Yep, that's it. And for those unfamiliar with the term "swirlie", that's when the swirl- ee's head is forced below the waterline of a toilet, and then the toilet is flushed vigorously.
*******
THE EXORCIST
REGAN: Keep away! The sow is mine! F*** me! F*** Me! F*** me! (Screaming wildly, REGAN collapses back on to her bed.)
DR. KLEIN: Given the present location of Danny-boy's head, that may prove impractical; better go with the over-the-shoulders option.
******
That was fun.
By God, we've got it!
Hey Cyber, thanks for the link. I think its an odd but funny concept. Just take a scene from a movie and throw in some freepers opinion about some loser. Here’s an example. In this case, I’ve added comments about Michael Moore that were posted by “go star go” to a scene from “Apocalypse Now.”
WILLARD: "They told me that you had gone totally insane and that your methods were unsound."
KURTZ: “Are my methods unsound?"
WILLARD: "I can't for the life of me figure out how this guy earns enough money to be so fat. He should be starving. He has nothing to say. Nothing to offer. It's one of the great misteries."
Hahahahahahaha heh heh!
Man, what kind of a wierd self-referential humor have you guys come up with? This is like some kind of 'third-wave' post-postmodern form of humor!
Even Dennis Miller would find this excercise arcane.
Dowd is much better when she is discussing fashion and makeovers.
True, but it's not about Dowd. It's about us.
DEAD POETS SOCIETY
KEATING: The Dead Poets was dedicated to "sucking the marrow out of life." That's a phrase from Thoreau we would invoke at the beginning of every meeting.
KNOX: Precisely. This is also why the war on drugs will never succeed..
*****
ANNIE HALL
ANNIE: Living together hasn't been so bad, has it?
ALVY: Go over to your rat hole and use it all you want with the other 10 morons that post there.
*******
THE EXORCIST
REGAN: Keep away! The sow is mine! F*** me! F*** Me! F*** me! (Screaming wildly, REGAN collapses back on to her bed.)
DR. KLEIN: It drives me CRAZY when conservatives circle the wagons and start whining and wanting to shoot the messenger when stuff like this happens.
******
30 Posted on 01/29/2002 12:19:13 PST by Clarity
And thanks for the trip down Memory Lane.
31 Posted on 01/29/2002 13:58:03 PST by aculeus
DEAD POETS SOCIETY
KEATING: The Dead Poets was dedicated to "sucking the marrow out of life." That's a phrase from Thoreau we would invoke at the beginning of every meeting.
KNOX:.This would be news to Dr. Jerry Magicfinger, professor of gynecology, who says that prior to birth babies are seldom, if ever, outside the womb, and even then it's usually not for good reasons."
*****
ANNIE HALL
ANNIE: Living together hasn't been so bad, has it?
ALVY:Tell that lie to the men that wrote the Articles of Confederation. They might believe it.
*******
THE EXORCIST
REGAN: Keep away! The sow is mine! F*** me! F*** Me! F*** me! (Screaming wildly, REGAN collapses back on to her bed.)
DR. KLEIN: Do you subscribe to the theory of Niccolo Machiavelli that the end justifies the means?
******
32 Posted on 02/21/2002 12:13:34 PST by Clarity
Too bad the poster left out the funny parts.
33 Posted on 02/21/2002 12:18:04 PST by AppyPappy
REGAN: Keep away! The sow is mine! F*** me! F*** Me! F*** me! (Screaming wildly, REGAN collapses back on to her bed.)
DR. KLEIN: The gays are taking over our schools and I'm locked in a room with a crazy skank. Where is Rick James when you need him?
REGAN: Ariel Sharon cashes checks in Hell (Screaming mildly, REGAN posts an email hoax.)
DR. KLEIN: That's because the War on Drugs is causing the deaths of thousands of Iraqi children.
REGAN: What kind of gun should I buy??? (Screaming wildly, REGAN sues the entire state of Oregon.)
DR. KLEIN: You looser. If you don't worship George Bush, your a screaming liberal.
34 Posted on 02/21/2002 12:26:08 PST by AppyPappy
35 Posted on 02/21/2002 12:40:00 PST by Clarity
REGAN: I need to speak to someone right away!! (Screaming wildly, REGAN reboots her PC.)
DR. KLEIN: Whose your favorite Beatle? You know, the Founding Fathers never intended for us to like the Beatles.
REGAN: If you send your kids to public school, you'll go to HHHEEEELLLLLLLL!! (Screaming wildly, REGAN posts a prayer thread about her neighbor's cat getting declawed.)
DR. KLEIN: When I was a child, our dad thrashed us with a nine-iron every day before school. Kids today have it easy.
36 Posted on 02/21/2002 12:52:20 PST by AppyPappy
Tim Blair now has his own 'blogger' site: LINK
37 Posted on 02/21/2002 15:45:11 PST by aculeus
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.
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