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I Am Your Worst Nightmare. I am a BAD American. I am George Carlin.
I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some midlevel governmental functionary with a bad comb-over who wants to give it away to crack addicts squirting out babies.
I believe no one ever died because of something Ozzy Osbourne, Ice-T or Marilyn Manson sang.
I think owning a gun doesn't make you a killer.
I believe it's called the Boy Scouts for a reason.
I don't think being a minority makes you noble or victimized.
I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac, you'd better do it in English.
I don't use the excuse "it's for the children" as a shield for unpopular opinions or actions.
I think fireworks should be legal on the 4th of July.
I think that being a student doesn't give you any more enlightenment than working at Blockbuster. In fact, if your parents are footing the bill to put your pansy ass through 4-7 years of college, you haven't begun to be enlightened.
I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God.
My heroes are John Wayne, the Simpsons, and whoever canceled Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman.
I don't hate the rich. I don't pity the poor.
I know wrestling is fake and I don't waste my time arguing about it.
I think global warming is a big lie. Where are all those experts now, when I am freezing my butt through a long winter?
I've never owned a slave, I never was a slave, I didn't wander forty years in the desert after getting chased out of Egypt, I haven't burned any witches or been persecuted by the Turks, and neither have you -- so shut-up already.
I want to know which church is it exactly where the Reverend Jesse Jackson preaches. And where does he get his money. And why is he always part of the problem and not the solution.
I think the cops have every right to shoot your sorry butt if you're running away from them.
I also think the cops have the right to pull you over if you are breaking the law, regardless of what color you are.
I think if you are too stupid to know how a ballot works, I don't want you deciding who should be running the most powerful nation the world for the next four years.
I think if you are in the passing lane and not passing anybody, yourlicense should be revoked, and you should be forced to ride the bus until you promise to never delay the rest of us again.
I think beef jerky could quite possibly be the perfect food.
I believe that it doesn't take a village to raise a child, it takes two parents.
I think tattoos and piercing are fine if you want them, but please don't pretend they are a political statement.
I think Dr. Seuss was a genius.
I'm neither angry nor disenfranchised, no matter how desperately the mainstream media would like the world to believe otherwise.
I believe if she has her lips on your willie, it is sex, and it is sex for both of you. This even applies when you are President of the United States.
If that makes me a BAD American, then yes, I'm a BAD American.
We need our country back!
He was just kidding about the wrestling being fake though, right???
George Carlin didn't wright this.
Geroge Carlin is a pinko commie.
Are you sure this is George Carlin? I've seen this several times in my e-mail box, and it's never been attributed to him (not that *that* means anything).
>>>George Carlin didn't wright this.<<<
You know, I think he's right. Time to check those sources.
Al Sleet the Hippy Dippy Weatherman rides again! Don't sweat the clouds but those ICBM'S right behind the clouds. Maybe he ought to come up with the seven words you can't say to Jim Jeffords!
Wow, I never would have guessed that Geo. Carlin was conservative. He is one funny comedian.
Sounds like one he** of an American to me!
Maybe he does sound like one, this time...
But before you add him to your hero list, squeeze this:
Carlin on "Politically Incorrect" trashing Christianity
Carlin doesn't seem to believe his own words, IMHO. It's all part of the act.
Check your sources. IMHO, George Carlin never wrote this or anything close to this. I have done several searches. This seems to be an annonymous "email" that is circulating. No one claims to have written it.
Carlin has also shown himself to be a realist in the past few years who rants about just about everything. I do remember seeing an interview where he ripped Clinton. All the stuff in here is just old-fashioned common sense. Something Carlin seems to have developed lately.
This was funnier the first gazillion times it was posted.
Well, I notice that this has been posted several times since February. The earliest postings don't attribute it to anyone.
Carlin is way more libertarian than anything else. He has always challenged/made fun of the conventional wisdom of the day, and bitterly criticized the party in power.
I can believe that he wrote this, but I am not positive that he actually did so. Try listening to some of his more recent albums, and you'll see what I mean ("You are all Diseased" is funny, and only about 2 years old).
>>>All the stuff in here is just old-fashioned common sense.<<<
A recent posting of Carlin on 'Politically Incorrect' has him calling people who believe in God 'stupid.' I don't think he wrote this.
The rant is in a kind of Carlinesque-Denis Leary style to it.
http://www.georgecarlin.com/georgecarlin/home/bogus.html It's not him. It was originally done by a freeper.
Wow, I never would have guessed that Geo. Carlin was conservative.
And you would be correct. After reading this and having a fairly good idea what Carlin is REALLY like I did a quick searh on the internet. Typed www.georgecarlin.com. (Careful. Obscene language.) Didn't take me long to find this:
Floating around the Internet these days, posted and e-mailed back and forth, are a number of writings attributed to me, and I want people to know they're not mine. Don't blame me....There is a new bogus Carlin email circulating, which you can see here - it's utterly NOT Carlin's work.
In other words, Commie Carlin would NEVER say such things!
Thanks for doing the footwork! After reading Carlin's words as he trashed all people of faith, I knew he didn't write this.
If it's too good to be true then it probably isn't. Geo Carlin isn't a conservative. What a surprise. He is a good comedian anyway.
I'll admit Carlin's funny. But he's becoming more diffult to stomach. I say him on O'Reilly the other day. First he'd say something gut-busting funny then follow it up with something God-awful. Between laughing and gringing I thought I was going to cramp up. Sort of like sneezing and farting at the same time.
Carlin's reminding me more and more of a meaner (albeit funnier) version of Phil Donahue. Or, is Donahue an unfunny version of Carlin?
Carlin would't make Mao TseTung a good a$$hole!
This is not George Carlin - there are varous versions of this on FR going back to the election, and none attributed to George Carlin - this is obviously a joke of some sort.
Although every line is true, George Carlin would never say any of them
Has Carlin visited Bill Maher on 'Politically Correct' yet?
oops. . .that was almost a mistake. . .that should have been 'Politically Incorrect' .
I haven't paid much attention to George Carlin lately. Somewhere along the line I started filtering all of my affiliations by beliefs. I guess I'll write Carlin off the list. I don't like farting and sneezing at the same time.
I think if you are in the passing lane and not passing anybody, yourlicense should be revoked, and you should be forced to ride the bus until you promise to never delay the rest of us again.
Amen, brother!
>>>. . .that should have been 'Politically Incorrect'.<<<
No, you got it right the first time! ;-)
Cricket, see post number 8.
"Between laughing and gringing I thought I was going to cramp up. Sort of like sneezing and farting at the same time."
That......ummm............paints a picture.
Thanks for 'postnote'.
Liberal minds, positing their wisdom is a pathetic exercise in mental gymnastics.
As for George, seems like he has figured out the way his world works best, just not why. . .
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.
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