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Subject : Bad American by George Carlin
I am your worst nightmare. I am a bad American. I am George Carlin. I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some medlevel governmental functionary with a bad comb-over who wants to give it away to crack addicts squirting out babies. I'm not in touch with my feelings and I like it that way, damn it! I believe no one ever died because of something Ozzy Osbourne, Ice-T, or Marilyn Manson sang. I think owning a gun doesn't make you a killer. I believe it's called the Boy Scouts for a reason. I don't think being a minority makes you noble or victimized. I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac, you'd better do it in English. I don't use the excuse "it's for the children" as a shield for unpopular opinions or actions. I think fireworks should be legal on the 4th of July. I think that being a student doesn't give you any more enlightenment than working at Blockbuster. In fact, if your parents are footing the bill to put your pansy-ass through 4-7 years of college, you haven't begun to be enlightened.
I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God or Gods, just leave the rest of us out of it. This also applies to sexuality. Hillary Clinton is carpet-munching lesbian. My heroes are John Wayne, the Simpsons, and whoever canceled Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman. I don't hate the rich. I don't pity the poor. I know wrestling is fake and I don't waste my time arguing about it.
I think global warming is a big lie. Where are all those experts now, when I am freezing my ass through a long winter? I've never owned a slave, or was a slave. I didn't wander forty years in the desert after getting chased out of Egypt. I haven't burned any witches or been persecuted by the Turks and neither have you, so shut the #$%!&* up already. I want to know which church it is exactly where the Reverend Jesse Jackson preaches. And where does he get his money. And why is he always part of the problem and not the solution? I think the cops have every right to shoot your sorry ass if you're running from them. I also think they have the right to pull over your ass if you are breaking the law, regardless of what color you are.
I think if you are too stupid to know how a ballot works, I don't want you deciding who should be running the most powerful nation in the world for the next four years. I hate those bastards standing in the intersections trying to sell me crap or trying to guilt me into making "donations" to their cause. These people should be targets. I think if you are in the passing lane and not passing, your license should be revoked, and you should be forced to ride the bus until you promise never to delay the rest of us again. I think beef jerky could quite possibly be the perfect food. I believe that it doesn't take a village to raise a child, it takes two parents. I think tattoos and piercing are fine if you want them, but please don't pretend they are a political statement. I think Dr. Seuss was a genius. I'm neither angry nor disenfranchised, no matter how desperately the mainstream media would like the world to believe otherwise. I believe if she has her lips on your willie, it is sex, and it is sex for the both of you. This even applies when you are President of the United states. If that makes me a BAD American, then, yes, I'm a BAD American. If you, too, are a bad American, please forward this to everyone you know. We need our country back.
This is vintage Carlin
No it's not! This was posted and debunked as a fraud yesterday!
Who did write it?
It isn't vintage Carlin. It isn't Carlin at all.
Carlin is a communist who has called, as clearly as he dares, for the assassination of President Bush.
This has also been posted several times before...
Oops. Here's the corrected link.
Who did write it?
No idea.
I grew up listening to Carlin's albums in the 70s. And I recently marveled at his continued energy, relevance, irreverence and wit in his HBO specials.
But that piece he posted on his web site calling the President an imbecile and wishing "mischief" (in the form of terrorist deadly germ warefare in the White House) on him is totally out of bounds.
I will never again spend another nickle on his albums, books or live appearances. What a clymer!
It isn't vintage Carlin. It isn't Carlin at all.
It must be Cat Stephens, or maybe Barbara Striesand, or Alex Baldwin, or Julia Roberts, or Jim Jeffords...
If I read this once more Im gonna ralph!
I wish people would stop posting this. It's already been posted millions of times in this forum, and attributed to various authors with each new post. I agree with the sentiments it propounds, but enough is enough.
It was just emailed to me...attributed to Ted Nugent.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.
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