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The Bad American
By George Carlin
I Am Your Worst Nightmare. I am a BAD American.
I am George Carlin.
I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some midlevel governmental functionary with a bad comb-over who wants to give it away to crack addicts squirting out babies.
I'm not in touch with my feelings and I like it that way, damn it!
I believe no one ever died because of something Ozzy Osbourne, Ice-T or Marilyn Manson sang.
I think owning a gun doesn't make you a killer.
I believe it's called the Boy Scouts for a reason.
I don't think being a minority makes you noble or victimized.
I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac, you'd better do it in English.
I don't use the excuse "it's for the children" as a shield for unpopular opinions or actions.
I think fireworks should be legal on the 4th of July.
I think that being a student doesn't give you any more enlightenment than working at Blockbuster. In fact, if your parents are footing the bill to put your pansy ass through 4-7 years of college, you haven't begun to be enlightened.
I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God.
My heroes are John Wayne, the Simpsons, and whoever canceled Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman.
I don't hate the rich. I don't pity the poor.
I know wrestling is fake and I don't waste my time arguing about it.
I think global warming is a big lie. Where are all those experts now, when I am freezing my ass through a long winter?
I've never owned a slave, or was a slave, I didn't wander forty years in the desert after getting chased out of Egypt, I haven't burned any witches or been persecuted by the Turks and neither have you, so shut-the-#$%!-up already.
I want to know which church is it exactly where the Reverend Jesse Jackson preaches. And where does he get his money. And why is he always part of the problem and not the solution.
I think the cops have every right to shoot your sorry ass if you're running from them.
I also think they have the right to pull your ass over if you are breaking the law, regardless of what color you are.
I think if you are too stupid to know how a ballot works, I don't want you deciding who should be running the most powerful nation the world for the next four years.
I hate those bastards standing in the intersections trying to sell me crap or trying to guilt me into making 'donations' to their cause. These people should be targets.
I think if you are in the passing lane, and not passing, your license should be revoked, and you should be forced to ride the bus until you promise to never delay the rest of us again.
I think beef jerky could quite possibly be the perfect food.
I believe that it doesn't take a village to raise a child, it takes two parents.
I think tattoos and piercing are fine if you want them, but please don't pretend they are a political statement.
I think Dr. Seuss was a genius.
I'm neither angry nor disenfranchised, no matter how desperately the mainstream media would like the world to believe otherwise.
I believe if she has her lips on your willie, it is sex, and it is sex for both of you. This even applies when you are President of the United States.
If that makes me a BAD American, then yes, I'm a BAD American.
He also may have voted for George W. Bush!
Judging from the remarks in an earlier thread, this makes the 11th time this has been posted.
Although George Carlin has some good points in his little essay...in other places I have read and seen him (recently on Politically Incorrect) he has a very, very, bad attitude and is extremely disrespectful towards those who are religious (particularly Christian).
Bump from a "stupid Florida voter" who was one of the 537 that kept algore (lower case on purpose) from winning.
5.56mm
Actually, my search turned up nothing for "George Carlin." If this editorial has been posted before, I apologize.
Two weeks ago, WORLD Magazine had an interesting review of his new book.
FWIW, can you post it?
5.56mm
I remember his show on FOX, & he had that cute little gotdang dog...He is an appealing personality in my opinion...
don't feel bad...there ar a bunch of variations on that same theme now. I don't mind one bit reading it again.
Actually, my search turned up nothing for "George Carlin." If this editorial has been posted before, I apologize.
Sorry, I didn't mean to criticize you as (1) this was only the second time I've seen it; and (2) I don't mind multiple postings in general because it's easy to miss something important here unless you stay logged on 24/7. I really meant my remark as a warning that you would probably be flamed as was the most recent poster of this editorial.
...this makes the 11th time this has been posted.
Believe me, I appreciate the thread police, but this is the first time I have seen this thread.
5.56mm
Believe me, I appreciate the thread police, but this is the first time I have seen this thread.
Ditto. First time seeing this, and I'm still laughing :)
Is this the same George Carlin, the comedian of questionable mouth?
Judging from the remarks in an earlier thread, this makes the 11th time this has been posted.
At least.
Its the first time I've seen it posted. Go ahead and throw your pudding at the nanny on duty.
Funny, I have always liked Carlin but I was under the impression that he was as flaming a lib as one could get. I like him even more.
I don't think Carlin wrote this.
He also may have voted for George W. Bush!
Maybe, but I would not bet on it. I would guess he is Libertarian, since he is a pretty logical thinker.
I think if you are in the passing lane, and not passing, your license should be revoked, and you should be forced to ride the bus until you promise to never delay the rest of us again.
AMEN!!
But I also think there should be a similar law for a$$holes who come zooming out of the far-left lane, swoop across three lanes, and pass on the right. Possession of a drivers license does NOT entitle you to go 80 mph.
I would guess he is Libertarian, since he is a pretty logical thinker.
;oP
This doesn't sound like Carlin to me either. He is a Liberal.
I've seen variations of this theme around too attributed to a couple of different people.
This doesn't sound like Carlin to me either. He is a Liberal.
I would guess he is a 60's liberal. Problably not too content with the government anymore at his age. I guess he's third party. Definately not a conservative. His world view is pretty warped(and funny I may add).
His world view is pretty warped(and funny I may add).
He hates golf courses, is ardently in favor of abortion, and ridicules religion (particularly Catholicism) in his routines.
Why do I know this about him? I don't know Jeff Foxworthy's politics.
Carlin's funny, but, like many prominent people, thinks his fans care what he thinks.
This isn't Carlin
It was written by fellow freeper bootyist-monk. The original version can be found at the link below:
I guess you did not see Carlin's commentaries on Bubba Clinton. HBO had on a long series of old Carlin shows last month.
Carlin ripped Clinton for his "sex is not sex" crapola and then went on to say he was a John F. Kennedy "wannabe." His criticism of Bubba was that he was chasing after trailer trash types when JFK was doing real Monroe type women.
I believe Carlin wrote this ....
Don't worry ... even thought I did read it here before and I figured what it was going to be from the title, I still get a kick out of reading it.
This was writtten by CArlin?? I've been ssnt this email a few times now and they never menioned his name. Is he a Republican?
Actually, Carlin has denied writing this on his website. That was mentioned in one of the other 10 threads.
Yeah......carlin's always been a unique American.
Like, anyone couldn't appreciate that?
You're right- I remember that thread and ever since Bootyist posted it it's been e-mailed to me a dozen + times. Never with Carlin's name on it, though.
I wish George Carlin actually HAD written this, but I doubt it. He's a big "liberal" I think this falls into the "urban myth" catagory. If only more "celebrities" and Hollyweird "liberals" actually "felt" this way.
Carlin almost certainly did not write this--he was on O'Reilly a few weeks ago and was scathingly insulting--and ignorant--about GWBush--was quite serious about it and not at all funny.
I believe no one ever died because of something Ozzy Osbourne, Ice-T or Marilyn Manson sang.
Rachel Scott, Cassie Barnall.....
I was also suspicious when I read this thread. I had seen Carlin on Politically Incorrect about two weeks ago. In the brief half hour debate, he managed to make fun of conservatives, disrespect Christians, and was rude to just about everybody else that didn't see the world according to how he did. He was probably one of those Libertarians without a moral compass, sadly he seemed like a most ignorant person indeed.
This was from the May 19, 2001 issue of WORLD Magazine (www.worldmag.com):
Napalm and Silly Putty
George Carlin
22 points (ABA: 9th; NYT: 2nd; PW: 4th; Amazon.com: 7th)
CONTENT Random musings on everyday life from the comic who is infamous for his tastelessness.
GIST Carlin is unhappy about a lot of things and not shy about saying so. His material is raw, bitter, and contains plenty of shock value, but the humor usually falls flat.
WORLDVIEW Hate-filled cynicism.
CAUTION Obscenity, profanity, crudity, blasphemy, and a general bad attitude.
Just in case you guys don't know : WORLD is a conservative pro-Bush Republican magazine with a Christian emphasis. A very good weekly read if you are looking for an alternative to Newsweek or U.S. News and World Report.
Good Grief. Do you really think music caused those two to go on a shooting rampage?
Thanks for the bump. I just got the email myself...
Amazing!
Best,
Bootyist
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.
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