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A Dog's Letters to God
Insirational Messages ^ | Sep 05 2001

Posted on 09/05/2001 2:43:46 AM PDT by 2Trievers

A Dog's Letters to God


Dear God,
        How come people love to smell flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another? Where are their priorities?

Dear God,
        When we get to Heaven, can we dogs sit on your couch? Or is it the same old story?

Dear God,
        Excuse me, but why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not one named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We dogs love a nice ride! I know every breed cannot have its own model, but it would be easy to rename the Chrysler Eagle the Chrysler Beagle!

Dear God,
        If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?

Dear God,
        When my foster mom's friend comes over to our house, he smells like musk! What's he been rolling around in?

Dear God,
        Is it true that in Heaven, dining room tables have on-ramps?

Dear God,
        More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.

Dear God,
        When we get to the Pearly Gates, do we have to shake hands to get in?

Dear God,
        We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent IDs, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?

Dear God,
        Are there dogs on other planets, or are we alone? I have been howling at the moon and stars for a long time, but all I ever hear back is the beagle across the street!

Dear God,
        Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?

Dear God,
        Is it true that dogs are not allowed in restaurants because we can't make up our minds what NOT to order? Or is it the carpets again?

Dear God,
        When my family eats dinner they always bless their food. But, they never bless mine. So, I've been wagging my tail extra fast when they fill my bowl. Have you noticed MY blessing?


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1 posted on 12/31/1969 4:00:00 PM PST by 2Trievers
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To: 2Trievers
Dear God,
Will you forgive me for that little fling with Marjorie Knoller?
2 posted on 12/31/1969 4:00:00 PM PST by xm177e2
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To: 2Trievers
Dear God,
What's with this "dog years" thing?
3 posted on 12/31/1969 4:00:00 PM PST by Cagey
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To: 2Trievers
Dear God,
Why is my name yours spelled backwards? The theological implications are astonishing!
4 posted on 12/31/1969 4:00:00 PM PST by WyldKard
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To: Cagey
Has a lot to do with creative math ... nothing to do with reason.

BTW, the same math that is taught in our public schools. &;-)

5 posted on 12/31/1969 4:00:00 PM PST by 2Trievers
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To: 2Trievers
Woof!
6 posted on 12/31/1969 4:00:00 PM PST by TiaS
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To: TiaS
Grrrrrr ... woof!
7 posted on 12/31/1969 4:00:00 PM PST by 2Trievers
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To: 2Trievers
"...Dear God, Excuse me, but why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not one named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We dogs love a nice ride! I know every breed cannot have its own model, but it would be easy to rename the Chrysler Eagle the Chrysler Beagle!..."

The Brits had that mobile breadbox they called the 'Corgi'.

8 posted on 12/31/1969 4:00:00 PM PST by DWSUWF
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To: DWSUWF
LOL
9 posted on 12/31/1969 4:00:00 PM PST by 2Trievers
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To: 2Trievers
On the first day of creation, God created the dog
On the second day, God created man to serve the dog.
On the third day, God created all the animals of the earth (especially the horse) to serve as potential food for the dog.
On the fourth day, God created honest toil so that man could labour for the good of the dog.
On the fifth day, God created the tennis ball so that dog might, or might not, retrieve it.
On the sixth day, God created veterinary science to keep the dog healthy and the man broke.
On the seventh day, God tried to rest, but He had to walk the dog.
10 posted on 12/31/1969 4:00:00 PM PST by Cagey
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To: 2Trievers
Dear God,

Why does Explorer89 get mad at me when I roll around in dog poop?

Sincerely,

Hambone

11 posted on 12/31/1969 4:00:00 PM PST by Explorer89
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To: 2Trievers
Dear God,
If there aren't any fire hydrants or trees in heaven,what's the point?

Dear God,
I under stand we were created in your image,you like sticks too?

Dear God,
Why not just give dogs the ability to operate can openers and cut out the middle men.

12 posted on 12/31/1969 4:00:00 PM PST by tet68
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To: Explorer89
Dear Explorer89,
If you had given me a name like George, Ralph, or Fred, I would never have rolled in this poop. It's called "getting even".

Yours smellingly,
Hambone

13 posted on 12/31/1969 4:00:00 PM PST by Cagey
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To: 2Trievers
Bow Wow!
14 posted on 12/31/1969 4:00:00 PM PST by VRW Conspirator
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To: Cagey, Inge_CAV
"(especially the horse)"

I don't like that ingredient! Inge_CAV, help me out here!

15 posted on 12/31/1969 4:00:00 PM PST by 2Trievers
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Comment #16 Removed by Moderator

To: 2Trievers
"(especially the horse)" "I don't like that ingredient! Inge_CAV, help me out here!"

If you think that you don't like the ingredient, just think of what the horses think about it. : )

China and some other Asian countries must be Hell for dogs.

17 posted on 12/31/1969 4:00:00 PM PST by Inge_CAV
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To: slugbug
two beagle references... they must have had yours in mind when they wrote this.
18 posted on 12/31/1969 4:00:00 PM PST by Teacher317
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To: 2Trievers
Dear God,
We understand the unconditional love thing. But we're a lower form of life?
19 posted on 12/31/1969 4:00:00 PM PST by secret garden
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To: slugbug
two beagle references... they must have had yours in mind when they wrote this.


20 posted on 12/31/1969 4:00:00 PM PST by Teacher317
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