Posted on 09/08/2001 3:40:17 AM PDT by Cvengr
Why football ?
Because football kills our children.
To the uninformed this may come as a surprise. After all, what could be more innocious then a little football game between kids ? But statistics prove that football is a killer sport. The National Federation of State High School Associations made public in 1999 that 15 high school football players died during regular season and playoff games in that year. Fifteen lives sacrificed to the altar of the pigskin !
But this revelation is not all : this number is equal to deaths caused by school shootings, as reported by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and the National School Safety Center (NSSC) for two different school years.
To our children, there is no difference. The pigskin or the gun, we are killing them in the name of society's morals. And it has to be stopped at all costs. The football death lobby is killing our children.
Laws must protect our children
Not only is football as deadly as guns, but there are more than 20 000 gun laws and none against football ! Immediate legislative measures must be undertaken to stop the death toll. Some of our suggestions to lawmakers and schools include :
1. the registration of all footballs, especially those in the hands of our children.
2. the creation of a football license, distributed based on attendance to football awareness classes.
3. no selling of footballs to underage kids.
4. parental responsability laws - crippling or death of a child while playing football should be the responsability of the parents, and deaths occuring while playing with a parent's football should be the responsability of the parent. Football death should ideally carry the death penalty.
5. launch ad campaigns to incite parents to keep their footballs out of the reach of small children.
6. the establishment of public standards of safety for football handling (especially as regard to padding and protection).
7. the rejection of harsh, grass-based fields in favour of safer, plastic materials.
8. a high football tax, in order to dissuade football players from all levels to continue their anti-social activity, and to compensate for medical bills.
9. class action lawsuits against football equipment companies, football leagues, and television stations that transmit football games. Alternatively, stop manufacturing of footballs without warning stickers (similar to the Surgeon General's warning).
10. the abolition of football-related commercials and advertisement.
11. the abolition of sports magazines for promoting violence and death.
12. the picketing of shops which sell footballs without registration or age checking.
Our ultimate goal, of course, is the elimination of all footballs. But since the population at large would never accept it because they depend on the greedy football lobby, we must take action ourselves.
Sport : the violence mentality
It has been hypothesized that team sports are a sublimation of warfare. Whenever this is true or not, sports do generate an inordinate amount of violence. It has been proven that football players are incredibly criminal compared to the general population.
As APBnews (an outlet of criminality-related news) reports in "The Stats of NFL Player Crime" (January 2000) : "[p]rofessional football players tend to be scofflaws and criminals -- gold-wearing, pot-smoking, brawling hip-hop gangsters who beat their women and abandon their children". It found, for example, that as many as 11% of football players in the last Super Bowl had a criminal record ! Of course, one must be reminded that their star status makes them less likely to be arrested than an average citizen, making this statistic a bare minimum.
Sports elicit violence, be it children and wrestling, soccer and fan fury, Stanley Cups and riots, or football and student deaths. We must stop these needless cultural artefacts and replace them with a kinder, gentler society. This is the goal of Citizens United Against Football.
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Else where on the site is the Report-a-teacher forum????
At first, I thought this was a parody or black humor. Upon further reflection, the impact of political correctness upon the ideas of a younger generation seems to dynamically alter a fundamental worldview.
The main page indicates that the website is of the Top 40 of the Backwash community and mentioned in the Wall Street Journal's OpinionJournal Best of the Web on September 7th.
Simply FYI, now go right and deep.
The same site opposes all social activities, shopping malls, yet advocates "report a teacher"? New logic which I had never considered fathomable in any application.
I was peruseing the obits the other day ,seeing if I had to go into work(I did) and it occured to me that all these people had two things im common, 1 they were dead, and two they had been alive. Now how do we get to be alive(?), that's right SEX(!!!!) that's right doing the nasty, the old horizonal bop. It can be shown that everyone who is now dead was once alive! Therefore it seems quite clear to me that if we really want to stop people from dieing from guns or football or playing pet the mako shark we must prevent(by whatever means necessary) people from having sex.
That and the fact that I ain't getting any and I don't see why anyone else should.
Tomorrow I'll take on thirdworld poverty.
http://www.footballkills.org/
"Football licenses?" "No selling of footballs to underage kids?" This is clearly a send up of anti-gun, anti-tobacco hysteria. Gotcha!
Now I know what's been missing from my living room!
If anybody needs me, I'll be at Home Depot getting supplies for my "gridiron grotto." I must hurry...the holy days start tomorrow.
Any suggestions for a team to worship...I live in Dallas : )</font size>
I guess everybody should go into seclusion and lock the door and wait for our Maker to come after us. Of course, we should liscense and regulate everything to protect us from ourselves. Come to think of it, who wants to live forever? Life is boring enough without having to think about that.
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