Posted on 09/15/2001 5:41:33 PM PDT by jedi150
Today we mourn the passing of an old friend, by the name of Common Sense.
Common Sense lived a long life but died from heart failure early in the new
millennium. No one really knows how old he was since his birth records were long
ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He selflessly devoted his life to service in schools, hospitals, homes, factories and
offices, helping folks get jobs done without fanfare and foolishness. For decades,
petty rules, silly laws and frivolous lawsuits held no power over Common Sense.
He was credited with cultivating such valued lessons as to know when to come in
out of the rain, and the early bird gets the worm, as well as life isn't always fair.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you
earn), reliable parenting strategies (the adults are in charge, not the kids) and it's
okay to come in second (or even last, as long as your best efforts were given).
A veteran of the Industrial Revolution, the Great Depression, and the Technological
Revolution, Common Sense survived cultural and educational trends including body
piercing, whole language and new mathematics.
But his health declined when he became infected with the
"if-it-only-helps-one-person-it's-worth-it" virus. In recent decades his waning
strength proved no match for the ravages of overbearing regulations. He watched in
pain as good people became ruled by self-seeking lawyers.
His health rapidly deteriorated when schools endlessly implemented zero tolerance
policies; reports of six-year-old boys charged with sexual harassment for kissing a
classmate, a teen suspended for taking a swig of mouthwash after lunch, and a
teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student.
It declined even further when schools had to get parental consent to administer
aspirin to a student but couldn't inform the parent when the female student was
pregnant or wanted an abortion.
Finally, Common Sense lost his will to live as the Ten Commandments became
contraband, churches became businesses, criminals received better treatment than
victims, and judges stuck their noses in everything from Boy Scouts to professional
sports.
Finally, a woman who was stupid enough not to realise that coffee is hot, and was
awarded a huge pay-out for her stupidity, caused Common Sense to finally throw in
the towel.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents Truth and Trust; his wife,
Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.
He is survived by two stepbrothers: My Rights and Ima Whiner. Not many attended
his funeral because so few realised he was gone.
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