America's Worst Cliche, Matt Labash , The Weekly Standard,
For more, see:
Posted on 11/08/2001 8:48:24 PM PST by Pokey78
If you don't read this article, the terrorists will have won.
WITH TWO MONTHS GONE since September 11, my life, like that of so many others, has fallen into a strange new rhythm: Go to work. Surf the Internet for news updates until the point of catatonia. Go home. Kiss the dog, let out the wife, then flop into the Barcalounger for six more hours of the most riveting new show on television--"America Strikes Back."
Lately, however, "Temptation Island 2" has been beckoning, if only so I can escape the most cloying, omnipresent cliche of post September 11 news coverage. With some variation, it generally goes as such: Take an everyday activity, no matter how pedestrian (checking your mail, peeling your hangnails, pouring yourself a bowl of Golden Grahams). Preface this activity with the words "If you don't . . . ," then follow it with "the terrorists will have won."
Every war, of course, produces its share of shopworn formulations. You may remember Vietnam, which was "an unwinnable war" because "the night belonged to Charlie" and the village had "to be destroyed, so it could be saved." World War II's most enduring cliche, "Remember Pearl Harbor," was at least outward-looking, rousing its users to kiss their best gals goodbye and head down to the enlistment office. In other words, trite as it became, it actually moved people to action.
Our cliche, though, is just another bit of late '90s solipsism that has somehow survived the supposed transformation of September 11. By declaring, as some young amorist no doubt already has, that "if I don't get to third base with my girlfriend in the backseat of my mom's Acura, the terrorists will have won," we are elevating the prosaic to the heroic. Not only is this unseemly, but it diminishes the accomplishment of real heroes, like our fighter pilots, our firefighters, and Ashleigh Banfield, who has gone from blonde to dishwater-brown in the service of her country.
What we are left with then, are all the amusing and confusing pre-fab chestnuts. Covering a recent Friar's Club Roast of Hugh Hefner, one journalist offered that "When comedians feel uncomfortable telling raunchy sexual jokes, the terrorists have won." ("Laughter is a great healer," seconded Hef.) Washed-up comedienne Joan Rivers has also resumed touring. "You have to," she said, "or the terrorists win." (But if not letting the terrorists win means telling jokes such as "How do you know we lost the war? When you see a sign that says 'Turbans 'R' Us'"--maybe we should think about letting them win.)
Political hacks of all stripes have especially warmed to the platitude. Some say maintaining partisan divisions allows the terrorists to win. Others say not preserving partisan distinctions allows the terrorists to win. Either way, the terrorists win. Former labor secretary Robert Reich has said the terrorists win when "we fail to laugh," which comes as a relief, since there's little chance we will ever stop laughing at Robert Reich. Former senator Daniel Patrick Moynihan, by contrast, has said that the only way the terrorists can win is "if we change our way of life." (Killing Americans and not getting caught presumably qualifies as a loss).
Hillary Clinton offered her own vapid take on what constitutes a terrorist win in a New Yorker interview that ranged from the painfully obvious ("the purpose of terrorism is to terrorize") to the just plain painful ("The only way that a terrorist ultimately wins is if you give him permission to defeat you."). But Senator Clinton is hardly alone. As with most cliches, banality loves company.
Elsewhere, people have claimed victory over the terrorists by going skiing in Utah, driving gas-guzzling Lincoln Navigators, purchasing lipstick at Rescue Aromatherapy Spa, attending a Rotary Club "truck party," networking at a Solid Waste Association of North America conference, trick-or-treating, and purchasing two $5,000 alligator bags from Giorgio's of Palm Beach. What really must spook the terrorists, however, are sentiments such as this one from the Kitchener-Waterloo Record: "Oktoberfest revelers say attending Kitchener-Waterloo's annual beer blowout seems more important than ever after the terrorist attacks that killed thousands in the U.S. last month." Why? Because, says Dorothy Hillgartner, a proud attendee of the nine-day Bavarian beer fest, "If we don't go out, the terrorists will have won."
So pervasive now is this cliche, that even debunking the cliche has become a bit of a cliche, as I discovered when researching this piece, finding that the likes of National Review's Jonah Goldberg, the New York Post's John Podhoretz, and the Topeka Capital Journal have already tread this path before me. No matter. Recycling is an American media tradition. And we must now, more than ever, uphold our traditions, or the terrorists will have won.
Matt Labash is senior writer at The Weekly Standard.
If you don't buy my 1983 AMC Gremlin, the terrorists will have won.
Perhaps the MOST cloying cliché of the 1990s, however, was this one:
"If we can save the life of just ONE CHILD by X, then it will be worth it!"
Where X can be, variously, "outlawing all handguns," "giving free universal health insurance to all and sundry," "repealing the 22nd Amendment so that Bill Clinton can be reelected in perpetuity," "pulling the plug on Free Republic and banishing anyone registered there for life," "drinking pure distilled water so as not to corrupt our precious bodily fluids," etc.
And the corollary (or perhaps just an alternative reading) to this is: "Y never fed one child, or sent him to school or clothed him or taught him multicultural pride, etc."
Where Y could be "Convicting and removing the most criminal fiend ever to sit...er....stand with an Intern crouched in front of him in the Oval Office," or...well, that was about it, really!
Actually, it means my CLIENT won; I pulled an all-nighter trying to get this project out on time...
Two questions, first, how's the glass? And, if the glass is near to excellent, how much do you want for it?
Dubya: "Let's Roll!!!"
Illbay: "Hang on. Where's my starting spray?"
America's Worst Cliche, Matt Labash , The Weekly Standard,
For more, see:
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.