Posted on 12/05/2001 4:20:51 AM PST by SJackson
Edited on 04/22/2004 11:45:45 PM PDT by Jim Robinson. [history]
MANISTEE, Mich. -- Five weeks ago, David Gutowski, a self-employed painter in this little town, killed a six-point buck with his bare hands and a brown leather belt.
After strangling the white-tailed deer, Mr. Gutowski gutted it and hung it in his garage to skin it. Then a state conservation officer came to confiscate the animal. She explained that Michigan has seasons for killing deer legally with guns or bows-and-arrows. There is no season for garroting deer.
(Excerpt) Read more at interactive.wsj.com ...
Hasn't this guy ever seen a movie? How many thousands of times have we seen the "dead" do a Jason and come back for more?
Møøse bites Kan be pretty nasti.
A game warden friend of mine was entrapping, I mean, checking for night hunters. He had set up a decoy in a field and was playing hide and wait. Before long a truck drove by, slowed down, and turned around heading right out into the field. Stopping about 20 feet from the decoy, the occupants of the truck just watched the 'deer' for about 15 minutes. Fearing the spectators would ruin the chase for real criminals, the game warden came out of hiding and asked the two gents in the truck to leave (there was also a 13 year old riding in the bed of the truck). Upon returning into the nearby woods, the game warden glanced at his decoy. There were three arrows sticking out of it! He caught the three folks just as they were hitting the highway and found the youth in the back had a bow. I believe they were all ticketed.
And then, the good Doctor roasted those pieces and served them with a cherry-brandy sauce with new potatoes and asparagus. :-)
Now hey der, ewe know damn' well der ain't noooo such ting az a turdy point buck!!
BTW: I was up in the U.P. Thanksgiving week for my annual deer hunt, saw 4 deer in 5 days, got disgusted and came back home.
That damn' DNR scared off all the deer. Can't those stupid b@stards leave us alone in the woods for even a day? With all the damn' planes flying over, and the patrols, it's a wonder anyone shot anything!
While driving into hunting camp a few years back, my father in law drove around the last "blind curve" into Camp just off of 41 and heard a loud "thud" behind the drivers side pickup door. He stopped the truck, and there on the ground just behind him was an 8 point buck - with a broken neck. The deer charged the truck and hit it just behind the drivers side door, doing approx. $1500 in damage. Really banged up the truck good.
Dad pulled the deer off the road, gutted it on the spot using his trusty pocket knife (that he carries with him all the time) then put the deer in the back of the truck and came into camp. Mind you, this was on his way IN to camp, opening day.
You should've seen the looks on our faces when he told us this story .... we then proceeded to laugh our asses off.
Hey I just learned how to speak Svedish.
Then here is your final exam. Using the following passage:
Mønti Pythøn lk den Hølie Grailen
Røtern nik Akten Di
Wik
Alsø wik
Alsø alsø wik
Wi nøt trei a høliday in Sweden this yer?
See the løveli lakes
The wonderful telephøne system
And mani interesting furry animals
Including the majestic møøse
A Møøse once bit my sister ...
No realli! She was Karving her initials on the møøse with the sharpened end of an interspace tøøthbrush given her by Svenge - her brother-in-law - an Oslo dentist and star of many Norwegian møvies: "The Høt Hands of an Oslo Dentist", "Fillings of Passion", "The Huge Mølars of Horst Nordfink".
Mynd you, møøse bites Kan be pretty nasti...
In 5000 words (or more) describe the sociological implications and effects of the Swedish Welfare System on the angst, ego, super-ego, and id of the majestic møøse described above. Also differentiate between the ecologically pure løveli lakes of Sweden and the polluted foulness of the anti-Kyoto Gaia-destroyers of America, and how that affects the making of Norwegian møvies, emphasizing the reasons that Norwegian møvies are esthetically superior to those made in Hollywood. Be sure to cross-reference all entries pertaining to the Svenge's copywrited materials and explain in detail how the effects of imperialistic American capitalistic society caused the writer's sister to feel that it was necessary to vent her righteous feminist anger against males by Karving her initials on the møøse with the sharpened end of an interspace tøøthbrush.
Extra Credit: Using the Swedish National Directory of Dentists, explain why. (NOTE: If the last question didn't make sense to you, you have automatically failed this course of instruction. However, you are required, by Swedish and EU law, to complete the first part of your assignment anyway and then burn the resulting manuscript.)
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