Sunday Talking Heads Fox News from the Front

Good Morning. This is Tomy Slow in Washington with the Fox News team. Today, our war correspondent, Jarold Reverso, is at the front lines to give us an update on the action.

(Jarold Reverso): Thanks Tomy. It about 6:30 pm here, and the sun is going down in the west. The cannon fire began about 14 hours ago, and we can see some fire and smoke rising from the fort to the east of us.

(Tomy Slow): Jarold, that view of the Fort behind you is quite telling. Exactly where are you in the city of Charleston.

(Reverso): I am standing on the edge of the southern most part of the peninsula of the city at a place called the “Battery”. The lady standing with me is Mary Boykin Chesnut, a well-known resident here. Mrs. Chesnut, what do you think of the things happening in your city?

(Mrs. Chesnut): Back in the early winter last year, 1860, our Governor and Mayor sent representatives to Washington to discuss Fort Sumter. The city and the state wanted to buy the fort from the government, and we made offers. Buchanan’s people were too stubborn to accept our offer to buy the ugly thing.

(Reverso): Well, a number of things, but the most immediate is that a number of Union troop ships just approached the mouth of the harbor here in Charleston. It seems as if the Confederate cabinet in Montgomery was notified by sympathizers in New York several days ago that a naval armada with troops and supplies was being outfitted for movement to Charleston, apparently for military action. Surrender of the fort would negate the Naval mission, and stop the action.

(Mrs. Chesnut): My husband says that more importantly, the withdrawal from the fort of the Union troops would be proof of the inability of the US government to collect tariffs in the South. Without tariff income, the Federal Treasury will immediately require loans, which cannot be guaranteed if there is no tariff income from goods bought overseas with dollars generated by the sale of cotton and tobacco. I say that the wealth of Boston, New York, Philadelphia, and Chicago is in the lurch, and it is they who elected Lincoln and they that control him.

(Reverso): Our new president, Mr. Lincoln, who at first directed the effort remain a secret, must have some interest in provoking the people of South Carolina. Just days ago in a document provided to the Governor of South Carolina, which declared itself no longer in the Union as of four months ago, Lincoln himself warned that he had ordered in supplies and troops, “to be delivered by force, if necessary.”

(Mrs. Chesnut): I cannot answer that in polite company, but I can assure you it wasn’t “Well, gollllllllllllll-y”.

(Tomy Slow): You mean to tell us that the Federal government was sending troops to South Carolina. Lincoln was threatening coercion? For what reason?

(Doris Kernes Goodwad): I think as an expert historian I can answer that question. Jarold, the ships sailing to Charleston were rushing down to save the starving, brave Union soldiers from a horrible death.

(Mary Boykin Chesnut): Well, not exactly Doris. They may be eating pork and rice for breakfast today, but last week they were eating steaks, shrimp, and fruits that they were buying at the Charleston Market. They have been free to shop like anyone else since they have been stationed here. The mayor asked them last week not to come over from the fort anymore until the situation is worked out. Judging from the cut of their uniforms, I would not exactly say they were starving. Besides, wading out from the walls of the fort and picking for a while, before your oysters on the half shell, is not exactly torture.

(Goodwad): Well, I still say they are starving! I am going to get Ken Burns on my cell phone and let him tell you about history.

(Mrs. Chesnut): Suit yourself. You might want to put on a little make-up for the camera there, Doris. How about a mint julep, Jarold?

(Bill O’Really): Jarold, this isn’t the first time that Federal troops have attempted to enter Charleston Harbor this year. What is going on down there?

(Reverso): Well, it is a bit complicated, but let me say that two separate US presidents have sent the Navy twice to Charleston in the past four months. First time, back in January, the Charleston militia fired some shots over the bow of the ship, the Star of the West. It was a flat bottom side-wheeler used normally to transfer exports and imports between northern and southern ports. Buchanan loaded it with supplies and US Marines, thinking that a side-wheeler had a chance of sneaking in without anyone in Charleston catching onto his gambit.

(Bill O’Really): Looks like lots of firing back and forth. Aren’t you in danger?

(Reverso): I can see you guys are spending too much time in the studio; it is just a little good cannon fire. More like a fireworks display. No one has been hurt.

(Doris Kernes Goodwad): This is historical. This is the first firing of troops. This is the beginning of the war. The die is cast. The clock is striking the eleventh hour. Oh, the humanity.

(Mary Boykin Chesnut): Doris, give it a break. This is our country, the Confederacy, protecting its shores from armed military excursions of the Union. Unless they show up again, there is nothing to this.

And you as such an educated historian should know that the first shots of hostility fired by regular military were fired at the local Florida militia by Union troops at Ft. Barrancas, back in early January of 1861. Nothing came of that. Go take a powder and get over yourself.

(Bill O’Really): But a great deal of Federal property was taken by what became the Confederates. Was there no loss of life?

(Chesnut): Not one life Mr. O’Really. It was a very peaceful transfer of property. Also, for the past two months, there have been several representatives of the Confederacy in Washington, trying to arrange repayment to the Union for the assets seized. Up until now, there has been a very peaceful separation of the cotton states.

(Doris Kernes Goodwad): But what about that poor fort? They are tearing it up. Those evil people.

(Mary Boykin Chesnut): Listen Goodwad, these people have done something that those brash Bostonian pals of yours have been threatening to do for decades……they have seceded from the Union. And they plan to peacefully go about their lives growing cotton and tobacco, trading with Europe, living under their new government, and new Constitution. You have yours, and we have ours, which is quite an improvement over yours.

(Bill O’Really): Recently more and more manufacturing has been moving to the South, which is poised for more. The density of slave labor in some southern states has declined, so it appears to be a changing economy. Slow, but sure.

(Tomy Slow): It seems very strange that US Navy vessels are now in the mouth of the harbor. Just a few days ago, Secretary of State William Seward was quoted as saying that the garrison at Ft. Sumter would be withdrawn peacefully. What is going on with the government?

(Mrs. Chesnut): Maybe you can now see the problem we have with this new administration. Every time this man Lincoln makes a speech, he seems as if he has a bipolar disorder. He says one thing, then the opposite. He does not have the common decency to meet and negotiate. Then he sends the military of common defense of the states down here as if we are menacing the Union from 600 miles away. We may have political differences, but there has never been one serious speech or newspaper editorial given by any Southern official that hints at any Southern desire to overthrow the government of the US or intent to invade land belonging to Northern states. The North is full of people like John Brown, who would invade us and incite genocide. We aren’t safe in the Union.

(Doris Kerns Goodwad): Well, Major Anderson, Union Commander of Fort Moultrie on Sullivan’s Island, moved all his troops off that fort into the unfinished Ft. Sumter. He was concerned that he was not safe.

(Mrs. Chesnut): Why did that green goose Anderson go and move the troops? Ever since, many things have been going wrong. Ready for another julep, Jarold?

(Mrs. Chesnut): Was he within his rights to turn the cannon in the fort toward the people of Charleston? Who ordered that?

(Bill O’Really): Now, Doris, remember the treaty agreement of December 6, 1860, between the US Government and Governor Gist of the State of South Carolina that forbade improvement of the Federal positions unless attacked. That made Anderson’s move illegal. Five days after Anderson moved the troops, there was a big stink in Washington. Buchanan didn’t know what to do. When he didn’t immediately order Anderson back, two members of his cabinet, including the Secretary of War resigned. The Secretary told the reporters that he and Buchanan had assured South Carolina that the military status would not be changed. And when Buchanan failed to honor his own armistice, that was not one month old, some in the cabinet became very critical of a president failing to honor the promise of the US government. What a guy, and what a government!

(Reverso): Then a couple of weeks later, he hires out the “Star of the West”, loads it with troops and sends it down to Charleston. What’s with that crowd up in Washington?

(Tomy Slow): Hey, I got one better than that. Just a few weeks after that, the US Congress passed a bunch of legislation funding the construction of seven shallow draft, screw steamships for blockade use. Who were they going to blockade, Cuban pirates?

(Bill O’Really): How about this one from those pranksters in Buchanan’s Congress…after authorizing the money for those ships, in a final act, the US Congress authorized 1/5 of the entire US Budget for the next year could be spent by the next US president without their approval.

Think about that, guys and Doris. Here the Congress was giving away its power to the new president who had not even taken office. They must have figured that the new guy was going to need to spend a lot of money on something. And whatever that was, they wanted no part of it, and no blame for it. In fact, they did not want to be around for it. Having given that authority away, they did not need to convene until after Lincoln’s mischief. No wonder those folks in Montgomery started preparing for war.

(Doris Kernes Goodwad): This all sounds completely preposterous. The Federal government would not send troops and initiate a war. We have elected officials who would not allow it. Congress and the courts would not allow it.

(Mrs. Chesnut): Well, they would and they just did. And don’t hand me that fish crap about Lincoln not anticipating a military reaction. His entire cabinet, save one, advised him against military adventurism at Ft. Sumter.

In his own message to his superiors in Washington upon learning that there may be an effort to reinforce the Fort, Major Anderson stated that if the effort were made, it likely would result in war. If they anticipated it in Montgomery, in Charleston, and in Washington, then old stovetop knew what would happen. He wanted an excuse to start a military action.

(Doris Kernes Goodwad): The president does not need an excuse; there is the slavery issue. He would go to war to free the slaves.

(Mrs. Chesnut): Doris, I don’t think he said exactly that. I think you have been putting a little too much magnesia in your milk.

(Jarold Reverso): Look, say what you want, but Lincoln just wants to get back to doing the peoples’ business.

(Mrs. Chesnut): Oh, stuff it Jarold. He just wants to get back to the business of collecting the tariffs that pay for the government, 75% resulting from the sale of Southern grown goods. The South is the cash cow of the infrastructure cancer of the North.

(Doris Kernes Goodwad): Bill, I have Ken Burns on my cell phone. Ken does say that the starving thing was an exaggeration. But he said it made for good drama, so what the heck.

(Bill O’Really): So, he could do a documentary on “Uncle Tom’s Cabin” without a re-write. There was already enough “drama” in that book without Burns spinning historical “facts” again. I am sure the History Channel would be glad to buy that program. Oliver Stone would be glad to do that piece. On second thought, PPS, the Public Propaganda System would love that.

(Doris Kernes Goodwad): That’s a great idea. We could have the government going out to rescue the starving slaves.

(Mary Boykin Chesnut): Oh, sit on it Doris. How about another drink, moustache boy.

Wonderful satire and, best of all, historically accurate!

This is sure to have Whiskey-Zits and Non-Sense howling.

Now how about some contemporaneous quotes from "Copperhead" and other pro-freedom Northern Newpapers on the Bill Clinton of that era, APE LINKUM?

You got them for us {grin}?

"This is sure to have Whiskey-Zits and Non-Sense howling."

Not responding to an article on Lincoln and the Confederacy. Astounding!

He just wants to get back to the business of collecting the tariffs that pay for the government, 75% resulting from the sale of Southern grown goods.

Well, this whole article is pretty nonsensical but taxing the product of any state is strictly forbidden under the Constitution.

Walt

<"...and, best of all, historically accurate!

If LadyJD said it then the opposite must be the case. Every time I attract her attention I realize what it was about southern women that caused Ben Butler to issue his General Order 28.

I'll let you have this one to yourself, Pea. It was mildly amusing the last time but you milked it too much then. On a related note have you seen this link ? I was wondering if you were supporting the Aryan Nations guy for president of the SCV or the other guy.

Looks like the resident inveterate serfs
finally wandered on over to this thread.

Both of them have admitted, on other threads, that they believe the U.S. Constitution forbids self determination. Doesn't matter one whit to them the duplicitous and opposite statements made by their hero Ape Linkum on the matter. I think they are JBTs posing as "conservatives".

Hello Non, and welcome back. I saw that posting. I think that situation is much more complex than the two candidates. I also see it as being a political exercise, not one in which I have interest. But by virtue of your question, I would say that I am interested in a full discussion of the facts of the events leading up to the war.

"It was mildly amusing the last time but you milked it too much then"

I don't remember you questioning the facts either on that one or this one.

For a fun time pin Non_Sense down on secession. I.E. whether or not it is valid in the context of a people, by a majority vote, leaving the U. S. compact and establishing a new (and improved) government for themselves and their progeny.

He/she/it argues that because the U. S. Constitution doesn't specifically authorize it that it is treason.

Go figure.

On one hand he and his ilk claim to believe in the works of the Founders and the Declaration of Independence yet on the other hand that ilk argues that the present U. S. gummint, once conceived, should exist in perpetuity EVEN IF IT BECOMES TYRANNICAL.

These pukes should go swill King George's hogs!

You can quote Butler's general orders, Early's troop movements, the military courts actions in Maryland, but were just unable to pull from your memory knowledge of Lincoln's secret mission to re-supply Ft. Sumter by force, and the name of the civilian he used to conduct the mission.

Acting as if you are unaware of the facts does not make the points of this article suppostion. You don't get the Emmy for contrived ignorance.

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