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Dear Civilians (Military Humor Break)
Unknown ^ | 19 DEC 01 | Unknown

Posted on 12/19/2001 5:26:30 AM PST by Gamecock

Dear Civilians,

We know that the current state of affairs in our great nation have many civilians up in arms and excited to join the military. For those of you who can't join, you can still lend a hand. Here are a few of the areas we would like your assistance with:

1) The next time you see someone (an adult) talking during the playing of the National anthem.....kick their a$$.

2) When you witness firsthand someone burning the American Flag in protest...kick their a$$. If you see this on television, as many of us have, you are simply required to have a deep burning suddenly arise inside of you....then go and kick their a$$.

3) Regardless of the rank they held while they served, pay the highest amount of respect to all Veterans. If you see anyone doing otherwise, quietly pull them aside and explain how these Veterans fought for the very freedom they bask in every second. Enlighten them on the many sacrifices these Veterans made to make this Nation great. Then hold them down while the Veteran kicks their a$$.

4) If you are not in the military, DO NOT pretend that you are. Wearing battle dress uniforms (BDU's), telling others that you used to be "Special Forces", and collecting GI Joe memorabilia might have been okay if you were still seven, but now it will only get your a$$ kicked. (Veterans are exempt from this rule)

5) If you witness someone calling an enlisted Marine "Sir," stand back..... a Marine will kick their a$$.

6) Next time you come across an Air Force member, do not ask them "Do you fly a jet?". Not everyone in the Air Force is a pilot. A Marine will be called to kick your a$$. (children are exempt)

7) Roseanne Barr's singing of the National Anthem is not a blooper....it was a disgrace and disrespectful. Laugh and sooner or later, your a$$ will be kicked.

8) Next time Old Glory prances by during a parade, get on your damn feet and pay homage to her and the military member or Veteran lucky enough to carry her. Your stupid funnel cake will forgive you if you stand for 5 minutes with your hand over your heart. You might as well be throwing the funnel cake at the flag if you don't stand.....of course, either will earn you a severe a$$ kicking.

9) What Jane Fonda did about Vietnam makes her the enemy....hate her or else. (a$$es will be kicked)

10) Don't try to discuss politics to a military member. We might vote as separate parties, but that doesn't mean we don't all bleed the same. We are, simply put, Americans. Our military Chain of Command, to include our Commander in Chief...the President... (for those who didn't know) is all that we acknowledge. We have no inside track on what happens inside those big important buildings where all those "representatives" meet. The military member might direct you to Oliver North. (I can see him kicking your a$$ already.)

11) "Your mama wears combat boots" never made sense to me....stop saying it! If she did, she would most likely kick your a$$!

12) Bin Laden and the Taliban are not communists. So stop saying, "Let's go kill those Commie's!!!" And stop asking us where he is!!!! Crystal balls are not standard issue in the military. That reminds me...if you seeanyone calling those damn psychic phone numbers, let me know. So I can kick their a$$.

13) Last but not least, whether or not you become a member of the military, support our troops and their families. Every Thanksgiving and Christmas that you enjoy with family and friends, there are thousands of troops overseas. Thank God for our military and the sacrifices they make every day. Without them, our country would get its a$$ kicked.


TOPICS: Miscellaneous
KEYWORDS:
Got this from my Chaplain. I haven't seen it elsewhere. Hope you enjoy!

Merry Christmas!

1 posted on 12/19/2001 5:26:30 AM PST by Gamecock
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To: Gamecock
Voice of Ernest Hollings: Der gonna be a hole lotta a$$ kick'n goin' on.

(apologies and thanks to whoever did the voice of Hollings yesterday, you're an inspiration)

2 posted on 12/19/2001 5:32:41 AM PST by TC Rider
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To: TC Rider
Indeed! Wouln't you hate to be in the Senate as long as he has been and still be the "Junior Senator" from South Carolina?
3 posted on 12/19/2001 6:53:07 AM PST by Gamecock
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To: Gamecock
Thanks so much for a great post. Speaking as one of those veterans, I wish more people in this country held the common sense beliefs of the person who wrote this.
4 posted on 12/19/2001 8:30:03 AM PST by JavaTheHutt
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To: Gamecock
"... whether or not you become a member of the military, support our troops and their families. Every Thanksgiving and Christmas that you enjoy with family and friends, there are thousands of troops overseas. Thank God for our military and the sacrifices they make every day. Without them, our country would get its a$$ kicked."

bttt

5 posted on 12/19/2001 8:33:34 AM PST by shetlan
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To: Gamecock
6) Next time you come across an Air Force member, do not ask them "Do you fly a jet?". Not everyone in the Air Force is a pilot.

This is bad because chances are, the AF member joined thinking that he'd be able to fly a jet, but ended up flying a desk instead.

6 posted on 12/19/2001 8:54:16 AM PST by Right_Wing_Mole_In_Seattle
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To: Gamecock
8) Next time Old Glory prances by during a parade, get on your damn feet and pay homage to her and the military member or Veteran lucky enough to carry her.

You would be amazed how often this does not happen. Why would a man come to a parade of he was not going to stand up for the flag? And yet you see people sitting down chatting as the flag goes by. Wierd.

7 posted on 12/19/2001 9:05:13 AM PST by gridlock
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To: Gamecock
11) "Your mama wears combat boots" never made sense to me....stop saying it! If she did, she would most likely kick your a$$!

As someone who's mother proudly possesses a DD214, let me say yeah she will.

8 posted on 12/19/2001 9:11:07 AM PST by discostu
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To: TC Rider
Just think of Foghorn Leghorn speaking.
9 posted on 12/19/2001 9:15:34 AM PST by aomagrat
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To: Gamecock

Navy Bump
10 posted on 12/19/2001 9:18:41 AM PST by aomagrat
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To: Right_Wing_Mole_In_Seattle
This is bad because chances are, the AF member joined thinking that he'd be able to fly a jet, but ended up flying a desk instead.

If you know not whereof you speak, don't. Most airmen (the word member has multiple meanings) join as intelligent adults and fully realize the probability (or not) of becoming a pilot. The thing that sets the USAF apart from all other air forces (I won't indulge in denegrating other branches of the US military during time of war) is the overall mean (average) intelligence of both the enlisted and officer ranks (especially the enlisted ranks, actually).

11 posted on 12/19/2001 9:20:15 AM PST by constable tom
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To: discostu
As someone who's mother proudly possesses a DD214, let me say yeah she will.

My wife would...

12 posted on 12/19/2001 9:21:36 AM PST by Gamecock
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To: Gamecock
Amen, brother- well said!

IYAAYAS!
13 posted on 12/19/2001 9:33:11 AM PST by Neckbone
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To: constable tom
First of all, it was a joke.

Second of all, the AFROTC detachment was right next to ours and there were plenty of freshmen with visions of F-16s in their heads. Then, after many broken hearts, they did enter the AF with a realistic idea of the probability of not becoming pilots.

Third of all, why is it so annoying if you ask an AF officer if he flys a plane?

14 posted on 12/19/2001 9:52:29 AM PST by Right_Wing_Mole_In_Seattle
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To: Gamecock; SLB; Wally Cleaver
I like it!
15 posted on 12/19/2001 10:00:40 AM PST by Fred Mertz
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To: Right_Wing_Mole_In_Seattle
First of all, it was a joke.

OK; I can take a joke and will lighten up. As a conservative in socialistic Seattle, you need all the slack you can get. Just a little protective of my USAF (nine years enlisted active duty).

16 posted on 12/19/2001 12:50:54 PM PST by constable tom
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