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Posted on 12/20/2001 6:51:11 AM PST by Jeff Head

Twas the last night of Ramadan, and all through the cave,
Not a creature was stirring; it felt like a grave.
Our turbans were hung on the wall with great care,
And we hoped the US Air Force would not soon be there.

The soldiers were restless without any beds,
While visions of Daisy Cutters flashed through their heads.
Usama in his burkha and I in my cap,
Had just settled down for a cold, barren nap,

When out on the ledge there arose such a clatter,
I grabbed my Kalashnikov to see to the matter.
Towards the racket I crept in my haze,
To the edge of the cave to take in the gaze.

The moon shone down on the new-fallen snow,
And lit up the valley with an ominous glow.
When, what to my eye should clearly appear,
But a dozen Apaches, and tanks in the rear.

And there in the lead, in front of the porocession,
Came US Special Forces of every profession.
Like screaming eagles these demons they came,
Marines, SEALS and Delta, and they called out our names;

"Now Usama! Omar! Muhammad! Abdul!
We come for you now; we've taken Kabul!
To the top of your cliffs! To the back of your caves!
When you made war on us, you dug your own graves!"

As dry leaves fly before a hot wind,
Our people they scattered, to hide once again.
But up to the ledges these forces they flew,
With full magazines, and flamethrowers too.

It was too late to run, there was no place to hide,
Though many were anxious to give it a try,
And then, in an instant, I heard the great thuds,
The sound of the Tomahawks; and not one was a dud.

As I chambered my rifle, and was turning around,
Usama was there, disguised in a gown.
He was decked out in drag, from his head to his toes,
And he said he would flee while we held off his foes;

His eyes were glassy; he voice it was grave;
The sound of the bombs, made him sound none too brave.
He saddled his goat, then turned around and fled,
But a SPECOPS sniper drilled the back of his head.

I watched with cold fear as his body did slump;
The goat threw him off; he fell with a thump.
And so, there I stood, my plans all destroyed,
To suffer a fate I could not avoid;

I dropped to my knees; and asked Allah for help,
When into my ears He said, "You ignorant whelp!
I gave you the Bible, the Torah and Koran,
But because of your arrogance you did not understand."

"I told you to honor your neighbors and wives;
I didn't say enslave them and ruin their lives!
You've invoke My name to sanction vile deeds,
and now ask My help while down on your knees?."

"No, I'll send you and yours straight down to Hell."
These were His words as more of us fell,
And the last thing I heard, as they came over the wall,
Was, "One nation, under God, liberty and justice for all!"

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