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Posted on 12/25/2001 3:32:24 AM PST by PatD

A friend has just gigged me for being an unreformed Scrooge, and at just the right time, too. But then, what are friends for?

It's the annual wrap-up column, folks. You know, the one where we pundits look back at the previous twelve months, provide mock-ponderous assessments of major events and vent some absurd hopes for the year to come. And who am I, narrow-gauge opinion-monger that I am, to defy so august a tradition? So here goes nothing, and then you get a rest from me until early January or the next terrorist attack, whichever comes first.

The year started with what looked like a Constitutional crisis in the making. Many observers of the political scene, myself included, feared a plot to overturn the election of George W. Bush to the presidency. We came up with a number of ways it could have been done, and none of them materialized. Al Gore, who would have made a lousy Chief Executive, turned out to be a good enough loser to spare the country a partisan conflict that would have paralyzed it for what was to come.

The Clinton pardon scandals, the trashing of the White House, and the looting of Air Force One rocked a nation that had thought its first Boomer president could sink no lower. Even Mr. Clinton's many defenders turned against him in legions. Meanwhile, Hillary! (the first Senator to have no last name), whose Senatorial bid was greatly assisted by the pardoning of several convicted Chassidic money manipulators and FALN terrorists, disavowed all knowledge of Mr. Clinton's actions.

Britney Spears performed at the Super Bowl, and the Republic did not fall. The New York Giants did not perform at the Super Bowl, and I considered returning my wide-screen TV to the retailer.

President Bush got his tax-relief bill through Congress, only slightly reduced from what he'd submitted. The timing was fortunate, as Senator Jim Jeffords of Vermont left the GOP soon thereafter, which would have made the passage of the bill much more problematic -- to say nothing of subsequent events that could have derailed it entirely.

The Red Chinese assaulted an American warplane in international air space, essentially kidnapped twenty-four American servicemen, and then demanded to be paid for having done so. It was the Pueblo all over again. To our everlasting shame, we didn't invade, recover the plane and its crew by force, and leave their air base a charred ruin liberally stippled with the bodies of their men at arms. We did get the plane and the hostages back, though, and the Bush Administration demonstrated a cohesion around its objectives that was truly impressive.

President Bush then flew to Europe to meet with the Continent's various chiefs of state, and demonstrated once again the real meaning of "diplomacy": telling a man to go to Hell in so charming a fashion as to make him look forward to the trip. The assembled pundits of the Left went into shock, albeit briefly.

The California power crisis reminded America that just because the bill says "deregulation" at the top does not mean that it deregulates anything. To cement the ardor of his many fans, California Governor Gray Davis then rushed to take over Southern California Edison and purchase $40 billion in electrical power futures, a transaction on which the State of California is now expected to record a loss of... $40 billion.

Britney Spears announced her engagement, and the Republic did not fall. No, her public relations representative did not say "It depends what the meaning of 'virgin' is."

The New York Yankees demonstrated again that they can win, even dominate, when none of the team's players are performing particularly well.

Black Tuesday, September 11, saw the greatest evil committed against America in post-World-War-II history. At the end, some four thousand civilians lay dead in the rubble of the World Trade Center and the Pentagon. Americans had been uplifted by the story of Todd Beamer and the other heroes of United Airlines Flight 93, awed by the bravery and sacrifices of New York's police and firemen, and humbled by their new consciousness of their vulnerability. New York City mayor Rudolph Giuliani rose to the occasion in splendid style, and rose to national prominence in doing so. It became fashionable to love our country, or at least to say you do.

On October 7, Operation Enduring Freedom commenced, and the Taliban government of Afghanistan learned the precise meaning of President Bush's statement, "Either you are with us, or you are with the terrorists."

William Jefferson Clinton unwisely said that he wished he'd faced a crisis like Black Tuesday, as he'd have done a better job than President Bush, and moreover, it would have enhanced his legacy. Monica Lewinsky, Paula Jones, Kathleen Willey, Juanita Broadderick and Gennifer Flowers could not be reached for comment.

The equities market sank precipitously, but rebounded to approximately its pre-Black Tuesday levels by mid-December.

Harry Potter and Frodo Baggins captured the imaginations of the world with two excellent movies. The Potter movie is delightful entertainment; The Fellowship Of The Ring is a truly remarkable spectacle, a true-to-the-spirit rendition of J.R.R. Tolkien's immortal fantasy allegory that will probably sweep the awards this coming spring.

To the limitless disgust of all who know me, I've decided that I like Britney Spears. The Republic steadfastly refuses to fall.

And Christmas, as we promised our young ones this time last year when all the gifts had been unwrapped and the merrymaking was done, has come again, right on schedule. A New Year looms just one week away, with all the promise and peril each year brings. The rhythms of our climate, our celebrations, and our promises of renewal remain undisturbed, held over for their two thousand and second smash season.

May all the joy of this most joyous of times bless you and yours. I'll see you all next year.

Freedom, Wealth, and Peace,
Francis W. Porretto

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