Posted on 12/25/2001 1:45:45 PM PST by First Strike
A terminally ill boy had his dying wish granted in Australia this month, but ethicists are still at odds over whether it was the right thing to do.
The wish was not for a trip to Disneyland or to meet a famous sports star. Instead, the 15-year-old wanted to lose his virginity before he died of cancer.
The boy, who remains anonymous but was called Jack by the Australian media, did not want his parents to know about his request. Because of his many years spent in hospital, he had no girlfriend or female friends.
Jack died last week, but not before having his last wish granted. Without the knowledge of his parents or hospital staff, friends arranged an encounter with a prostitute outside of hospital premises. All precautions were taken and the organizers made sure the act was fully consensual.
The issue has sparked fierce debate over the legal and ethical implications of granting the boy's request. By law, Jack was still a child, and the woman involved could in theory face charges for having sex with a minor.
The debate was sparked by the hospital's child psychologist, who wrote a letter to Life Matters, a radio show in which academics debate ethical and moral dilemmas. The scenario was presented in the abstract, with no details about the boy's identity.
"He had been sick for quite a long period and his schooling was very disrupted, so he hadn't had many opportunities to acquire and retain friends, and his access to young women was pretty poor," the psychologist said recently in an interview with Australia's The Daily Telegraph. "But he was very interested in young women and was experiencing that surge of testosterone that teenage boys have."
Hospital staff initially wanted to pool donations to pay for a prostitute, but the ethical and legal implications prevented them from doing so. The psychologist presented members of the clergy with the dilemma and found no clear answer.
"It really polarized them," he said. "About half said, 'What's your problem?' And the other half said [it] demeans women and reduces the sexual act to being just a physical one."
Dr. Stephen Leeder, dean of medicine at the University of Sydney and a Life Matters panellist, said the issue was a difficult one.
"I pointed out that public hospitals operated under the expectation that they would abide by state law," he said. "While various things doubtless are done that are at the edge of that, it's important the public has confidence that the law will be followed."
Jack's psychologist, who works with children in palliative care, said the desire was driven in part by a need for basic human contact.
"In a child dying over a long period of time, there is often a condition we call 'skin hunger,' " he said. The terminally ill child yearns for non-clinical contact because "mostly when people touch them, it's to do something unpleasant, something that might hurt."
Dr. Leeder called the diagnosis "improbable."
Judy Lumby, the show's other panellist and the executive director of the New South Wales College of Nursing, argued the details as presented made it abundantly clear the boy's wish ought to be granted. "I said that I would try my darndest as a nurse to do whatever I could to make sure his wish came true," she said.
"I just think we are so archaic in the way we treat people in institutions. Certainly, if any of my three daughters were dying, I'd do whatever I could and I'm sure that you would, too."
berrett@nationalpost.com
Indeed? So by extention, should this decision be up to every 15-year-old kid? 14? 13? 12?
If the prostitute became pregnant with the boy's child, wouldn't she be entitled to sue the boy's parents for support? Would you absolve them of that, since it was "up to the kid?"
Sexuality outside a marriage between a man and a woman always gets thorny; STDs, prostitution, unplanned pregancies, abortions, orphans, etc.... That's why it's best left there, no matter how badly we may want it without restriction. God's way works best.
Nomex suit on; awaiting flames.
You completely sidestep the issue. This isn't "every" 15-year-old male. Incidently, fifteen is nearly the average age of males losing their virginity so plenty, obviously, are deciding for themselves and will stand accountable before God. This is different than what you argue against. This a 15-year-old kid who knew he was dying and, indeed, did die. Further, ages of consent vary by locality and even by the genders of the partner's involved. Legal age to marry also varies with and without parental consent. To my knowledge, there is no 11th Commandment: "Thou shalt not lay down with women as you would a wife before the age of twenty-one years."
If the prostitute became pregnant with the boy's child, wouldn't she be entitled to sue the boy's parents for support? Would you absolve them of that, since it was "up to the kid?"
You, evidently, wish to absolve the (adult?) prostitute for her decision making. Likely, absent contractual issues (in a case where she's more of a surrogate), I suppose she would seek an abortion, murdering the baby. Sex carries with it the "risk" of pregnancy. The prostitute surely knew this.
I have no issue with parents sharing a legal burden for a grandchild's upbringing if it had been the same regardless of whether this was a "wish" granted or if he'd simply impregnated a girlfriend and died in a waterskiing accident. What's the law in that case? If that doesn't work for the People, change the law and absolve the parents.
A question for you is this: would you have denied this 15-yr-old a right to procreate if that, instead, had been his dying wish? Would you do so because of his age? The Church takes a dim view of pro-creation through technological means; I think we'd be better off--with fewer hideous decisions to make--without such means. In my understanding of Church doctrine, the boy would neither have a moral right to pro-create (by any means available) nor simply lose his virginity. He's be called to die a virgin outside the context of the marriage sacrament.
We're fortunate, perhaps, that reconciling ourselves with God is not a job for the State to mandate and control. It would seem to me there's a failure of the legal system to provide for exceptions in final wish, shall-die cases like this.
I have no issue with the basic ethics and suggest the law should accomidate these things. I'm not disagreeing with what you call "God's Way", but ultimately the moral choice is the 15-yr-old's and anyone who's helped him carry out that decision. I suppose, on some level, we might all carry some measure from original sin for allowing such immorality to go on and become sanctioned by the State.
For anyone who might be confused, I would not draw a parallel with "it's her body" pro-abortion "logic" for in this dying wish case as there's no innocent and helpless third person involved. There are means wherein this youth could have been matched with a sex partner wherein no pregnancy could have take place.
These are different venues, different issues, different arguments: legalisms and ethics vs. free will and righteousness. I suppose no one should be surprised at my stand, it's fairly consistant with my view that houses of worship should be protected from having to perform "gay marriage" if that's the church's teaching but there should be a strictly civil equivalent so as to ensure full rights and opportunities to all citizens in the basic human area of selecting a mate, a life partner.
Let me say I'm greatly saddened this young male's only outlet for filling his wish was a street prostitute.
On behalf of my father, orphaned by married parents who died of natural causes, and a grade school friend, orphaned by the death of her married parents hit by a drunken driver, I resent and reject the notion orphans aren't part of "God's Way". Alright, the drunk driver wasn't following "God's Way" or the law. Angela deserved better.
Oh, and I reserve the right to revise and extend my remarks when I've taken more time to think about this case. :)
Happy Christmas.
Indeed? So by extention, should this decision be up to every 15-year-old kid? 14? 13? 12?"
Tough Call! A 15 Year Old Boy, dying of cancer (dying for a long time, I might add?) is no longer JUST a boy. Granted his wish was out of the ordinary, however it was HIS LAST wish!
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