Free Republic 1st Quarter Fundraising Target: $88,000 Receipts & Pledges to-date: $86,202
97%  
Woo hoo!! And now less than $1.8k to go!! We can do this!! Thank you all very much!!

Keyword: aidsdementia

Brevity: Headers | « Text »
  • President Obama: The Democrats' Ronald Reagan (Clinical Dementia Alert)

    09/24/2012 9:43:12 AM PDT · by mojito · 18 replies
    The Daily Beast ^ | 9/24/2012 | Andrew "Get Trig" Sullivan
    As the fall has turned crisper, a second term for Barack Obama has gotten likelier. This may, of course, change: the debates, the Middle East, the unemployment numbers could still blow up the race. At this point in 2004, one recalls, George W. Bush was about to see a near eight-point lead shrivel to a one-state nail-biter by Election Day. But one thing that has so far, in my view, been underestimated is the potential impact of a solid Obama win, and perhaps a Democratic retention of the Senate and some progress in the House. This is now a perfectly...
  • Dan Savage on HBO's 'Real Time': 'I Wish [Republicans] Were All [bleeping] Dead!'

    07/17/2011 5:52:22 PM PDT · by JudyM · 59 replies
    Newsbusters ^ | July 16, 2011 | Noel Sheppard
    As NewsBusters previously reported, Friday's "Real Time" on HBO contained some of the most vile political talk ever broadcast on national television. In one panel segment, gay sex advice columnist Dan Savage said of Republicans, "I wish they were all f--king dead" (video follows with transcript and commentary, extreme vulgarity warning):
  • Andrew Sullivan on BBC Radio 4: Palin Represents 'An America That Is Definitionally White'

    11/09/2010 7:29:23 PM PST · by 2ndDivisionVet · 58 replies
    NewsBusters ^ | November 9, 2010 | Ken Shepherd
    "Sarah Palin represents an America this is absolutely, definitionally white, that's very much rural America." That's how The Atlantic's Andrew Sullivan summed up the former Alaska governor in his appearance on the November 7 BBC Radio 4 "Americana" program. Echoing Peter Jennings' infamous description of the 1994 midterms, the liberal British-born blogger added of 2010 voters that they had "had a panic, a tantrum." For his part, Washington-based "Americana" host Matt Frei reinforced Sullivan's analysis, labeling Palin the "Evita of the North" and generally failed to question Sullivan's analysis. "Despite all the kind of hullabaloo about the Tea Party, and...
  • Andrew Sullivan: Why Does Trig Matter? [Governor Sarah Palin driving them insane!]

    06/28/2010 6:16:52 PM PDT · by 2ndDivisionVet · 80 replies
    The Atlantic ^ | June 28, 2010 | Andrew Sullivan
    Jonathan Bernstein asks: Sullivan believes that Palin's birth story for her youngest son is implausible. I think he has a good case for that, for what it's worth. As I've read over the last two years, I've seen three possible explanations. The first is the wild one, that the baby isn't really hers; she's covering for someone else's inconvenient pregnancy and has adopted that child. The second is that she was an irresponsible mother, and took terrible risks given the dangerous nature of the pregnancy. The third is that she made the whole thing up, or most of it: she...
  • Planet Obama: What would happen if the entire world could vote in our election? One guess

    10/08/2008 8:21:23 AM PDT · by presidio9 · 39 replies · 780+ views
    San Francisco Chronicle ^ | Wednesday, October 8, 2008 | Mark Morford,
    The entire world is, apparently, full of whiny no-good commie liberals. It's true. This is the only logical conclusion, the only way you can possibly parse the piles of (largely unscientific, but still pretty damn convincing) numbers and data and full-blown emotional consciousness now pouring in from all over the world, pumping our little presidential election full of all sorts of cosmic meaning and profundity and oh-my-God-can-it-be-true. Check that: Maybe it's not the only way to parse it. But if you're a hard-core McCainite and/or are under some sort of unfortunate, chemically-induced delusion that Sarah Palin is just exactly the...
  • MORFORD: The anti-pedophile coloring book

    12/12/2007 7:44:32 AM PST · by SmithL · 5 replies · 163+ views
    San Francisco Chronicle ^ | 12/12/7 | Mark Morford
    Remember kids: Be good, say your prayers and, uh, never be alone with a priest. Praise! This is how you know. This is one more of the beautiful bizarre myriad ways the Great Shift signals its imminent arrival, in fits and spurts and wayward sidelong slaps, weird cultural burps and from unexpected places that make you go, wow. Take the Archdiocese of New York. It has apparently just released new coloring book for kids, all about how to be safe in an age of fear and predation. It is full of nice pictures of kids being sweet and virginal and...
  • Should Cheney Resign? (Ultra Barf Alert!)

    03/15/2007 7:54:43 PM PDT · by 2ndDivisionVet · 62 replies · 1,142+ views
    The Atlantic ^ | March 6, 2007 | Andrew Sullivan
    His health is rough; he has been the most disastrous vice-president in history; he has lost two wars; he has lost every ally; he is despised in much of the country; he is now going to be the center of all the questions that the Libby guilty verdict raise. Why did he get so exercized about a two-bit critic during a critical time in the Iraq war? Why would he risk losing his most trusted aide by coordinating a media sting on a minor political opponent? Why would he risk committing a crime to pursue Wilson unless he had something...
  • MORFORD: You Say You Want A Resolution . . .

    01/03/2007 7:58:38 AM PST · by SmithL · 2 replies · 178+ views
    San Francisco Chronicle ^ | 1/3/7 | Mark Morford
    It's something in the air. It's something palpable and buzzy and strange and it tastes a little like warm honey but also a little like burned coffee and a whole hell of a lot like something you'd find deep in the belly button of a cloud. Oh my God, it's hope. Do you sense it? Do you feel it? Is it all cheesy and silly and eye-rollingly exhausting to even think about? Well, too bad. Because it's that rarest and most precious of divinely human energies and it seems to come around about this time every year, when spirits are...
  • MORFORD: Dick Cheney Totally Hates You

    11/03/2006 7:56:03 AM PST · by SmithL · 52 replies · 1,658+ views
    San Francisco Chronicle ^ | November 3, 2006 | Mark Morford
    That shirt? Those shoes? Your kids? Hates 'em, and everything else about you, too. Can you feel it? That shirt you're wearing right now? Chances are, Dick Cheney hates it. That car you drive? Thinks it's for whiny un-American pansies. The fact that you've probably eaten tofu and wear designer shoes and have actually had sex while standing up? Pervert heathen traitor to the real America, Dick thinks. He hates that. Some days, Dick has trouble counting all the ways in which he hates you, the world, life. Some days, he hates the fact that there are not enough hours...
  • MORFORD: Which Way To The Apocalypse?

    06/09/2006 7:46:33 AM PDT · by SmithL · 8 replies · 474+ views
    San Francisco Chronicle ^ | 6/9/6 | Mark Morford
    When all the fanatical Christians disappear, will traffic finally improve? Wait, did I miss it? Did it happen three days ago, on 6-6-06, a.k.a. Tea Time with the Beast, a.k.a. the Great Day of Reckoning, a.k.a. the National Day of Slayer, all the world crashing down in a heap of hissing steam and belching smoke and balmy gusty breezes sometime around noon just after lunch but not before rush hour and hitting right around siesta? I might have been napping. Did the Apocalypse finally hit? Did the deep wish of roughly a half-billion zealous believers come to pass and were...
  • Bring on 6$ a Gallon Gas

    05/10/2006 7:56:48 PM PDT · by Tzimisce · 50 replies · 2,161+ views
    SFGate.com ^ | Mark Morford
    No wait, not six. To hell with that. Make it 10. Ten bucks a gallon, no matter what the going rate for a barrel of light sweet crude. That would so completely, violently, brilliantly do it. Revolutionize the country. Firebomb our pungent stasis. Change everything. Don't you agree? Here's what we could do: Give gas discounts to cab drivers (at least initially) and metro transit systems and low-income folks, those who have to drive their busted-up '78 Honda Civics to their jobs scrubbing restaurant toilets and flipping burgers and vacuuming the residual cocaine from the seat cushions of numb SUV...
  • MORFORD: Christian Virgins Are Overrated

    05/12/2006 5:59:51 AM PDT · by SmithL · 19 replies · 1,740+ views
    San Francisco Chronicle ^ | 5/12/6 | Mark Morford
    Think sex and drugs destroy America? Try naive chastity. Oh, and "Purity Balls" There are these things. These unholy events called "Purity Balls" and you should probably fall to your knees right this minute and thank a merciful and lubricious and happily polyamorous God that you do not know what they are and that you have access right this minute to vast quantities of wine to deflect their nasty karmic arrows because, you know, oh my God. But hey, free country. Purity Balls. No, not some sort of newfangled spherical chastity device to be inserted using vacuum tubes and pulleys,...
  • MORFORD: Can You Still Hate Wal-Mart?

    05/24/2006 7:44:47 AM PDT · by SmithL · 26 replies · 1,087+ views
    San Francisco Chronicle ^ | 5/24/6 | Mark Morford
    It's a shockingly eco-friendly plan from the world's most toxic retailer. Did hell just freeze over? Sometimes you just have to let the possibility breathe. Sometimes you just have to allow that something grand and good and healthy might actually be born from the bowels of the dank and ravenous megacorporate world, like flowers from a dung heap, like vodka from old potatoes, even if it comes right alongside the nastiest, most abusive federal environmental policy you will see in your lifetime. Take Wal-Mart, the most famously offensive, town-destroying, junk-purveying, labor-abusing, sweatshop-supporting, American-job-killing, soul-numbing, seizure-inducing, hope-curdling retailer in the known...
  • MORFORD: Want to change the world? Make gas $10 a gallon.

    05/10/2006 7:54:36 AM PDT · by SmithL · 67 replies · 1,539+ views
    San Francisco Chronicle ^ | 5/10/6 | Mark Morford
    No wait, not 6. To hell with that. Make it 10. Ten bucks a gallon, no matter what the going rate for a barrel of light, sweet crude. That would so completely, violently, brilliantly do it. Revolutionize the country. Firebomb our pungent stasis. Change everything. Don't you agree? Here's what we could do: Give gas discounts to cabdrivers (at least initially), metro transit systems and low-income folks, those who have to drive their busted-up '78 Honda Civics to their jobs scrubbing restaurant toilets and flipping burgers and vacuuming the residual cocaine from the seat cushions of numb SUV owners. Everyone...
  • MORFORD: The Real State Of The Union

    02/01/2006 5:48:26 AM PST · by SmithL · 13 replies · 501+ views
    San Francisco Chronicle ^ | 2/1/6 | Mark Morford
    How to address a bitter, war-torn but still somehow giddy and deeply horny nation. My fellow Americans, we're not as royally screwed as everything Bush has done during his miserable term in office would have you believe.
  • MORFORD: Sam Alito On Brokeback Mountain

    01/20/2006 7:48:06 AM PST · by SmithL · 9 replies · 559+ views
    San Francisco Chronicle ^ | 1/20/6 | Mark Morford
    What do the bitter neocon nominee and the amazing Oscar-bound film have in common? There is this theory, more of a truism really, tossed about like a fuzzy beach ball by the gurus and the masters and the mystics since Jesus was but a lint ball of possibility in the Great Belly Button of Time. . . .
  • MORFORD: Scenes From A Bush Thanksgiving

    11/24/2005 6:20:10 PM PST · by SmithL · 8 replies · 409+ views
    San Francisco Chronicle ^ | 11/23/5 | Mark Morford
    Dubya pouts, Cheney scowls, no one brings pie -- and why is Rove looking at Barb that way? Ah yes, it is that time again. The smell of roasting turkey and cigar smoke and Polo cologne, perfume like florid gasoline. Copious forced laughter that sounds like geese mating in a broom closet. It is Thanksgiving dinner at the Bush White House, . . .
  • MORFORD: George W. Bush Gives Me Hope

    11/18/2005 6:49:29 AM PST · by SmithL · 354+ views
    San Francisco Chronicle ^ | 11/18/5 | Mark Morford
    The astonishing collapse of the Bumbling One surely means healthy change is imminent, right? Here's the good news: It really can't get much worse. We cannot afford any more wars. The environment has been sold to the bone. The national spirit has been beaten like an Alaskan baby seal and the GOP has worked our last nerve, passed through the karmic blood-brain barrier, reached saturation to the point where even moderate Repubs and gobs of intelligent Christians are finally saying, Oh my God, what have we done, and how did it all go so wrong, and how much Prozac and...
  • MORFORD: To The Drunk Who Smashed My Car Quite a wreck you made, didn't you?

    11/11/2005 9:31:11 AM PST · by BurbankKarl · 25 replies · 983+ views
    SF GATE ^ | 11/11/05 | Miss Morford
    Yes, I know you were drunk. Must've been. Either drunk or on serious meds and/or you just didn't give much of a damn about anything anyway because you're just one of those people, one of those types who comes lurching around the city like a chunk of numbed pain in your big-ass mid-'80s burgundy car with the white top and chrome bumpers -- an old Cadillac? Monte Carlo? -- early last Sunday morning to wreak casual havoc. Is that about right? Do you remember any of it? Here is what I'm guessing: probably not. Let me tell you what happened,...
  • MORFORD: God Does Not Want 16 Kids

    10/19/2005 7:48:41 AM PDT · by SmithL · 85 replies · 2,225+ views
    San Francisco Chronicle ^ | 10/19/5 | Mark Morford
    Arkansas mom gives birth to a whole freakin' baseball team. How deeply should you cringe? Who are you to judge? Who are you to say that the more than slightly creepy 39-year-old woman from Arkansas who just gave birth to her 16th child yes that's right 16 kids and try not to cringe in phantom vaginal pain when you say it, who are you to say Michelle Duggar is not more than a little unhinged and sad and lost? And furthermore, who are you to suggest that her equally troubling husband -- whose name is, of course, Jim Bob...
  • MORFORD: What God Really Told Bush

    10/12/2005 7:56:21 AM PDT · by SmithL · 18 replies · 1,192+ views
    San Francisco Chronicle ^ | 10/12/5 | Mark Morford
    Apparently, it wasn't just "invade Iraq and Afghanistan in my name." A special report: Scene: White House private residence, night, not long ago. President Bush present in his most favoritest guns 'n' bunnies PJs. Laura asleep, knocked out by a combination of too much Good Housekeeping and excessive hair-spray fumes. Suddenly, a burst of black smoke. A deep, resonant voice speaks: "Psst! George! God here, taking a break from supervising the well-being of eight billion troubled souls along with infinite galaxies of unimaginable vastness to speak with you directly one more time because, well, you're special, aren't you, George? Yes...
  • MORFORD: Love Still Rules San Francisco

    09/30/2005 7:51:22 AM PDT · by SmithL · 6 replies · 679+ views
    San Francisco Chronicle ^ | 9/30/5 | Mark Morford
    Leather, techno, sex & war: more only-in-SF juice to make you proud. Take that, uptight neocons. It was the moment when we walked by a jam-packed S.F. City Hall and realized it was open to host a VIP techno dance party, while immediately outside its gilded doors upward of 50,000 revelers wandered and shimmied and flaunted their costumes and drank nasty Red Bull cocktails in the huge Civic Center plaza for the third annual Love Parade, everyone baring flesh and shaking their groove thangs to any one of 200 world-class (well, some of them) DJs spinning their wares on over...
  • MORFORD: Kneel Before The Meteorologist

    09/28/2005 7:53:00 AM PDT · by SmithL · 22 replies · 1,082+ views
    San Francisco Chronicle ^ | 9/28/5 | Mark Morford
    At last, one scientist BushCo will definitely -- albeit resentfully -- listen to. Sometimes. So now we know. This is what it takes. This is how far the nation has to crumble and this is how many people have to die and this is how many tens of billions it has to cost and this is how far his dirt-low poll numbers have to fall before Bush will finally come out and say he agrees with one of those godforsaken gul-dang book-learned scientist types. You know the ones. Those informed and well-educated data-crunchers he normally despises like a kid hates...
  • The Storm That Ate The GOP (Morford alert)

    09/14/2005 5:00:05 PM PDT · by Crackingham · 31 replies · 1,454+ views
    San Francisco Chronicle ^ | 9/14/05 | Mark Morford
    Can you hear that? That low scraping moan, that painful scream, that compressed hissing wail like the sound of an angry alligator caught in a vise? Why, it's the GOP, and they're screaming, "No, no it can't be, oh my God, please no, this damnable Katrina thing is just an unstoppable PR disaster for us!" After all (they wail), who woulda thought dissing all those poor black people and letting so many of them die in filth and misery in the Superdome while our pampered CEO president enjoyed yet another vacation would cause such an ugly backlash, such harsh criticism...
  • MORFORD: Who Loves Creepy Megachurches?

    08/03/2005 7:30:06 AM PDT · by SmithL · 20 replies · 626+ views
    San Francisco Chronicle ^ | 8/3/5 | Mark Morford
    Stadium crowds, thousands of rabid devotees, all chugging Jesus like Kool-Aid. Should you be afraid? I have never been to a big creepy megachurch. This is my first confession. I have never been to, say, Lakewood Church in Houston, the biggest glossiest megachurch of all, which just dumped a staggering $75 million to renovate the former stadium for the Houston Rockets and turn it into a massive pulsing swaying arm-raisin' eye-glazed weirdly repressed House o' Jesus. I have never been to World Changers in Georgia or New Birth Missionary Baptist in Texas or Calvary Chapel in Costa Mesa or...
  • 14 Thoughts For The New Pope [none of them good]

    04/20/2005 6:00:20 PM PDT · by ArrogantBustard · 19 replies · 787+ views
    San Francisco Comical ^ | April 20, 2005 | Miss Markie Morford
    OK, first things first. They say you're a hard-line conservative, new pope Joseph Ratzinger (a.k.a. Benedict XVI) of Germany. Very old school and drab, a real lover of repressive, bitter, orthodox doctrine. No fun at parties. Catholic in chains. What glorious times of joy and progress the church is in for, millions now say, dejected sarcasm dripping from their once-hopeful mouths. See, most spiritually progressive peoples the world over were sort of hoping for a new pope who would recognize this as a historic opportunity, an unprecedented moment for the church to finally get with the times, modernize, shake off...
  • Communism and human nature (Bolshie Mod sez, Arise ye kittens of the earth!)

    04/05/2005 10:50:57 AM PDT · by Sammy sam · 153 replies · 8,234+ views
    Many argue that communism will never be possible because of "human nature". The essence of this false argument is the belief that a communist society would consist of an all-powerful central government that would tell everybody what to do--and would therefore undermine the creative initiative of individuals and the search for happiness. • This argument is based on two false assumptions: (1) It assumes that a communist society will look like the former Soviet Union, or the current China, North Korea, etc (ie: corrupt police states with a feudal-style ruling class) (2) It assumes that people will only work in...
  • Ho Hum, More War And Death

    01/19/2005 12:07:47 AM PST · by SmithL · 11 replies · 761+ views
    San Francisco Chronicle ^ | 1/19/5 | Mark Morford
    What happens when habitual warmongering and BushCo lies become part of our daily diet? And then you read the appalling little story about how BushCo is now "taking steps" to further the investigation into why their original intelligence on Iraq was so painfully, treasonously, colon-clenchingly wrong, why they thought Saddam had giant Costco-sized warehouses stacked to the rafters with snarling nukes and nasty biotoxins and active warheads when, in fact, he had nothing but a couple Dumpsters full of rusty 20-year-old shell casings and a bucket of stale glue.
  • Stray Dogs Deserve Back Rubs

    01/14/2005 9:53:29 AM PST · by SmithL · 20 replies · 1,158+ views
    San Francisco Chronicle ^ | 1/14/5 | Mark Morford
    We kill millions of pets every year Who cares if a few get posh shelters and humane laws? OK. So I tend to think people who insist on calling themselves pet "guardians" instead of "owners" are exasperating and a bit wrongheaded, and that such uber-PC thinking does almost nothing to change or improve the behavior of the thousands of animal abusers in this country. And I tend to agree with fabulous dog writer Jon Katz that such semantic sidestepping does more harm to the animals than good, and leads to naive treatment, lack of decent training and an outright ignorance...
  • Resolutions For The Damned

    01/05/2005 8:06:15 AM PST · by SmithL · 20 replies · 1,032+ views
    San Francisco Chronicle ^ | 1/5/5 | Mark Morford
    A new year, a Bush-gutted, storm-ravaged world and you in need of some juicy, heartfelt pledges -- This is the year. No, really. This is the it. This is the year you resolve to let it all hang out and lick the fingertips of the divine and stop holding back and stop quivering with unchecked anticipation/dread as you realize that, if you care a whit for self-definition and spiritual nuance and hot wet intelligence and deep karmic color in this tsunami-hammered, Bush-ravaged world, you are desperately needed right now. It's true. Alas, many are dejected. Many of the blue or...
  • Amazon.com Is For Republicans

    12/22/2004 8:05:50 AM PST · by SmithL · 83 replies · 3,109+ views
    San Francisco Chronicle ^ | 12/22/4 | Mark Morford
    Attention, liberal shoppers! Next year, screw those GOP-supportin' companies, and try buying blue Do you care much that greasy ol' Pizza Hut gave tens of thousands in PAC money to the GOP last year? How about the fact that Taco Bell stopped pumping out their happily toxic semirancid meatlike substances just long enough to write a fat check to the conservative Right? Isn't that weirdly fascinating, in a depressing and indigestible sort of way? Does it matter a whit that, say, Fruit of the Loom underwear gave nearly 100 percent of its corporate donations to tighty-whitey-wearing Republicans, nearly every one...
  • Come See Our Hideous Slab

    12/17/2004 7:47:42 AM PST · by SmithL · 104 replies · 3,334+ views
    San Francisco Chronicle ^ | 12/17/4 | Mark Morford
    As the world swoons over France's soaring beauty of a bridge, S.F. gets slapped with an eyesore And did you hear the one about how those gul-dang baguette-sucking antiwar French just completed work on this astounding new bridge, a soaring, airy, delicate thing erected in southern France, and it's all over the international press and the French people are justifiably proud and even the venerable Le Monde has deemed the new Millau bridge a "work of art," and the amazing pictures are being featured everywhere, for good reason? And you look at the photos and see the breathtakingly elegant architecture...
  • Morford: Kiss My Megatruck, Dude

    09/28/2004 6:25:12 AM PDT · by presidio9 · 56 replies · 1,970+ views
    San Francisco Chronicle ^ | Wednesday, September 22, 2004 | Mark Morford
    Aww, screw it. I mean, really. You just gotta love this thing. You just gotta love the fact that some semitruck company somewhere called International Truck and Engine Corp. is now coming out with what they claim is the world's largest production pickup, called the CXT, all 9 feet high and 8 feet wide, a whopping 21 feet long and 14,500 pounds and 18 million excruciating earthly groans of it. And in most states that don't give a crap for their roads or the environment or any human life that might be existing in the various passenger cars surrounding it,...
  • Morford: Who The Hell Is "Undecided"?

    09/10/2004 7:26:18 AM PDT · by presidio9 · 17 replies · 807+ views
    San Francisco Chronicle ^ | Friday, September 10, 2004 | Mark Morford (I am becoming VERY concerned about her...)
    Polls are the genital warts of election year. They are the swarming gnats in your Jell-O salad, the dead escalator in your shopping mall, the sour milk in your coffee. Because clearly, if you attempt to follow any of them, the AP polls or the American Research Group polls or the Newsweek polls or the ABC News polls or the CBS News/NYT polls or the Zogby polls, you can only conclude one thing: These polls are designed solely to mangle your head and confound your synapses and elate you and titillate you and then plunge you into instant despair and...
  • Morford: Apocalypse Bush! (Why care for the planet when the End Times are almost here?)

    09/09/2004 10:52:34 AM PDT · by presidio9 · 55 replies · 1,537+ views
    San Francisco Chronicle ^ | Wednesday, September 8, 2004 | Mark Morford, read by FReepers and few others
    This is the great thing about rabid fundamentalism. You really just don't have to give a damn. Take the environment. I mean, isn't it just a little pointless to care so damn deeply about the air and the soil and the water and the stupid little disposable animals on this silly spinning ball of expendable rock when the Second Coming is imminent and a blood-soaked fire-breathin' Jesus who looks remarkably like Mel Gibson will return very soon to smite the heathens and the gays and the vegetarians and the Francophiles, and who will rescue all those who worship patriarchy and...
  • Morford: Where Is Your Hallowed Balm? Music? Yoga? Porn?

    09/03/2004 11:01:24 AM PDT · by MikalM · 36 replies · 1,451+ views
    San Francisco Chronicle ^ | 9/3/04 | Mark Morford (who never disappoints)
    I am searching for a few good things. Things to counteract, to dissolve the simmering dread, to deflect the waves of nausea and karmic pain induced by the incessantly depressing media maelstrom and the appallingly hateful gloat of the GOP convention and by the most tyrannical administration and least articulate American president in 100 years. You know how it is. And you say to yourself, these things, these radiant gems that live outside the mass-media miasma, I need them because they provide some balm, soften the fact that the nation feels massively off track and blinded and war torn and...
  • Morford: Dick Cheney Gets His Gay On

    09/01/2004 10:55:20 AM PDT · by MikalM · 16 replies · 857+ views
    San Francisco Chronicle ^ | 9/1/04 | Mark Morford (who else?)
    Bunny-curdling screams were heard throughout the Beltway last week and Laura Bush herself got all flustered and confused as vice president and noted hunk of rabid warmongering neoconservatism Dick Cheney broke ranks with his party of other hunks of rabid warmongering neoconservatives and admitted, in public, that he thinks gay people are, you know, mostly OK. Sort of. A little. In small doses. "With respect to the question of relationships, my general view is that freedom means freedom for everyone. People ought to be able to free -- ought to be free to enter into any kind of relationship they...
  • Morford: Sentient Non-Idiots For Kerry

    08/27/2004 7:13:22 AM PDT · by presidio9 · 18 replies · 788+ views
    San Francisco Chronicle ^ | Friday, August 27, 2004 | Mark Morford, non-sentient drug-addicted talentless androgenous pervert
    And isn't it funny how at least 13 members of Congress have actually requested that the United Nations monitor this year's U.S. presidential election, just because, just in case, just to ensure there's no voter rolling and election rigging and chad hanging and outright shameless Florida reaming like last time? And isn't it even more funny how, when firebrand U.S. Rep. Corrine Brown, from Florida, brought the issue up on the floor of Congress, she was actually shouted down by the Republicans, scolded that she was out of order and told her comments should be stricken from the record? And...
  • Morford: What Price Youth, Spider-Man? (Self-Absorption Alert!)

    08/25/2004 10:11:57 AM PDT · by MikalM · 11 replies · 683+ views
    San Francisco Chronicle ^ | 8/25/04 | Mark Morford (continuing his slide into irrelevancy)
    So then a largish envelope comes in the mail and it's from my mother and it contains a single, well-used comic book sealed in a plastic Zip-Loc bag, a book from my childhood she found in a storage box in the garage in our family's cabin getaway up in northern Idaho. And my mother, being smart and attuned and with the times as she is, she noticed the comic's title, and the main characters, and her eyebrows went up and she thought I might want to see it. Here's why: It's a Spider-Man comic. It's from 1976. It's in excellent...
  • Morford: This Man Touched My Parrot

    08/24/2004 6:56:43 AM PDT · by presidio9 · 28 replies · 928+ views
    San Francisco Chronicle ^ | August 20, 2004 | Mark Morford, the gerbil was not available for handling
    How good and refreshing and inspiring is it, in these war-drunk, anti-everything, BushCo-ravaged times, to discover a gem of pure unadulterated free-thinking humanity and funkiness and animal tenderness sitting just outside the teeming city walls? How life affirming and encouraging is it to stumble, quite randomly, quite unexpectedly, across what is probably the funniest, most caring, most quirky, most unexpected, most hugely popular, intensely local veterinarian in the entire Bay Area even though I can't verify that because I've only been to like, two, but I'm willing to risk saying it anyway? I am here with an answer: It is...
  • Morford: Still Proud To Be In S.F. (Gay Marriage)

    08/18/2004 10:06:03 AM PDT · by MikalM · 16 replies · 704+ views
    San Francisco Chronicle ^ | 8/18/04 | Mark Morford (who else?)
    No one in his/her right mind truly believed that San Francisco's landmark same-sex marriages would stand the test of the scowling California Supreme Court or the white-hot glare of the rabid homophobic war-drunk BushCo Right. It was almost no contest, a leather-clad dove versus an archaic, oily tank from the word go -- or, rather, from the words "I do."
  • Morford: Rig My Election, Please (Desperate neocons try to trick us into another BushCo victory)

    07/21/2004 7:38:49 AM PDT · by presidio9 · 36 replies · 1,189+ views
    San Francisco Chronicle ^ | Wednesday, July 21, 2004 | Mark Morford
    Semi-clever, ultra-wealthy Bush supporters suddenly donating piles of money to the Nader campaign in an obvious attempt to steal votes from John Kerry? Pshaw. Ptouey. Child's play. Tip of the iceberg. A mere distraction. We ain't seen nuthin' yet. This is the time of desperation and anxiety. This is the time of hysterical Orange Alerts and imminent al Quada attacks coming from outta nowhere at any minute and violating our children and kicking our puppies and badly denting our Honda Accords. And yes, this is the time of election-year political tactics coming from the increasingly anxious Right that will make...
  • Morford: Hello, God? It's Me, Dubya Lord? Bush here. I'm confused.

    07/14/2004 7:32:17 AM PDT · by presidio9 · 73 replies · 2,021+ views
    San Francisco Chronicle ^ | Wednesday, July 14, 2004 | Mark Morford
    Are you there, God? It's me, George W. Come in, Almighty. Do you read me? It's about 8:00 pm and it's just after my last bubble bath of the day and here I am again, kneeling here in the Oval Office all by myself in my most favoritest PJs, the funny ones with the little M-1 tanks and baseball players all over them. I gots some problems, Lord. Look, I've done everything you asked. I've been good. Haven't I? I take the message to the people, don't I? I spout that evangelical born-again crap in pisswater Podunk conservative churches across...
  • Morford: Romeo And Romeo In Hell (why you never, ever want to live in Kansas)

    02/11/2004 2:14:40 PM PST · by presidio9 · 121 replies · 397+ views
    San Francisco Chronicle ^ | Wednesday, February 11, 2004 | Mark Morford; rapidly closing in on 42-year life-expectancy
    <p>Kneel down. Put your hands together. Offer thanks right this very moment to whatever deity you desire that that you are not 18 years old and gay and living in the state of Kansas right now.</p> <p>This gratitude, it is a given. This is so much of a given you might not even need to hear why. You just say to yourself, oh my freaking God, I can only imagine.</p>
  • Morford: The Hot Porn Of Pottery Barn (Think Abercrombie & Fitch is racy?)

    12/05/2003 9:43:47 AM PST · by presidio9 · 49 replies · 2,127+ views
    San Francisco Chronicle ^ | Wednesday, December 3, 2003 | Mark Morford, Wears Mostly Rhinestones, Vinal & Feathers
    <p>Here it comes again, another dumbly predictable, panicky little outcry from terrified parents' groups and petrified dads all aflutter over the recent sexed-up, "racy" Abercrombie & Fitch catalog, just in time to stuff your proverbial stocking.</p> <p>You know the one, that new A&F Christmas catalog that dared to go so far as to show actual young half-naked models laying around in half-naked splendor doing half-naked nothing much. Same as it ever was.</p>
  • Morford: The Great Cosmic Booty Call: It's a rare and delicious Harmonic Concordance

    11/07/2003 10:21:20 AM PST · by MikalM · 39 replies · 349+ views
    San Francisco Chronicle ^ | 11/7/03 | Mark Morford
    <p>Of course it's all just glittery New Age froufrou moonbeam crapola that don't mean nuthin'. Sure it is.</p> <p>Of course it's all just easily dismissible astrological hooey, just another big everyday lunar eclipse that just so happens to coincide with an incredibly rare and unusual and truly beautiful planetary configuration that, if you believe the signs, heralds a potentially enormous and profound spiritual awakening for humans (that's you) not seen since 1987's famous Harmonic Convergence, and not really even then.</p>
  • Morford: Shut Up And Say "I Do" (It's BushCo's "Marriage Protection Week")

    10/15/2003 7:26:15 AM PDT · by presidio9 · 39 replies · 447+ views
    San Francisco Chronicle ^ | Wednesday, October 15, 2003 | Mark Morford, Always a Bridesmaid
    <p>Did you hug a priest today? Run from a scary homosexual person? Coo over a copy of Bride's magazine? Fall on your knees and thank God Almighty that your child isn't yet gay or pagan or libertarian and if she is that's OK because it's nothing that regular lithium and electroshock therapy can't "cure"?</p>
  • Morford: Jesus Doesn't Wear Prada

    09/19/2003 7:16:27 AM PDT · by presidio9 · 80 replies · 414+ views
    San Francisco Chronicle ^ | Friday, September 19, 2003 | Mark Morford, Jesus won't be saving him
    <p>These are the things to corrupt young gullible minds and short-circuit self-expression and demean the desperately needed impulse toward spontaneous self-awareness and individuality and happy guiltless vaginal investigations.</p> <p>These are the things to make Mary-Kate and Ashley's alarming and utterly demonic stranglehold on the world of vacuous saccharine multimillion-dollar teendom seem like a boring day at the mall, with lots of makeup and tube tops and Hot Dog on a Stick.</p>
  • Morford: Is Terrorism Making You Sick?

    09/12/2003 6:39:36 AM PDT · by presidio9 · 28 replies · 324+ views
    San Francisco Chronicle ^ | Friday, September 12, 2003 | Mark Morford, Unaffected By 911
    <p>Oh great, so here you are, two full years later.</p> <p>Two full years after the 9/11 maelstrom and two years during which the term "hero" has been molested and slapped around and "patriotism" has been smashed and reconfigured into some mutant shellacked Maria Shriver-like perma-saluting mannequin, a conservative plastic surgeon's wet dream, all fake smiles and bleached teeth and Botoxed worry lines and pumped-up, silicone-enhanced flag-waving bravado you no longer relate to in the slightest.</p>
  • Morford: Recall God And Fake Orgasms (Let's recall things that really matter)

    09/10/2003 6:39:36 AM PDT · by presidio9 · 31 replies · 387+ views
    San Francisco Chronicle ^ | Wednesday, September 10, 2003 | Mark Morford (What a shock- He Hates Catholics)
    <p>Do you feel the pulse? The surging urge for delicious politician-free change? That's right! It's recall time!</p> <p>Because this is your opening. This is your chance. Here is the insane inane circus of the California recall, and here is this huge gaping maw of political idiocy and infighting, and apparently they just really, really want you to know that all you really need is a million bucks and a million signatures and you too can change history to suit your whiny conservative whims. Ah, democracy.</p>