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Notice how the DUmmies have started mocking religious beliefs with increasing fervor recently in response to the Catholic Church resistance to ObamaCare mandating abortion services? Well, time now to look at the belief system of many DUmmies, namely the fervent devotion to astrology (and other hocus pocus) that many of them devoutly believe in. An example is this DUmmie THREAD, with the laughable title of "Let's collect and report our Neptune/Chiron/Pisces experiences this week here." Yes, such a collection of nonsense fits right in with the DUmmie belief system. And what have you got against Uranus? Never mind. You...

THE HINDU THEORY OF WORLD CYCLES In the Light of Modern Science Traditional Hindu scriptures view history as cyclical in character, with vast repeating series of ages. Each age has its own particular qualities. Interestingly, this system seems to be taken literally by modern Yoga masters such as Swami Muktananda, Baba Hari Dass, Swami Vishnu Tirtha, and so on. As a Western devotee, I found myself wondering exactly what the full system of Hindu cycles is, and how it relates to the findings of modern science. Following is my attempt to explain what I found out. Traditional Puranic Model...

Astrology 934. What does the Church teach concerning belief in astrology? That it is superstitious nonsense, and that it is sinful to place any serious reliance upon it. 935. How much is harmless, and how much dangerous? None of it is really harmless, for even if one were to indulge in astrology jocosely there would always be a danger of beginning to take oneself seriously. Real danger commences the moment one begins to entertain the thought that "there might be something in it." And there are many gullible and easily impressed people who do this. The end of the road...

WASHINGTON: All your horoscope predictions for the year 2011 are bound to be wrong. Why? Because the stars are not aligned as your astrologer thinks they are. All zodiac signs – Aries, Taurus, Gemini, Cancer, Leo, Virgo, Libra, Scorpio, Sagittarius, Capricorn, Aquarius or Pisces – were originally based on the constellation the sun was in the day you were born. However, there is a major phenomenon that will disregard all this – the Earth wobbles, a phenomenon called precession. Over the 2,500 years or so since the zodiac was established, your sign has moved about a month relative to the...

New research suggests that this coin marks an eclipse of Jupiter by the moon. It happened on January 17, 121 BC and was visible in Antioch, the capital of the Seleucid Empire. The coin itself show Zeus with a crescent moon above his head and a star like object hovering above the palm of his right hand... On one side is a portrait of Antiochos VIII, the king who minted it. On the reverse is a depiction of Zeus, either nude or half-draped, holding a sceptre in his left hand. Above the god's head is the crescent of the moon,...

Astronomy Picture of the Day Discover the cosmos! Each day a different image or photograph of our fascinating universe is featured, along with a brief explanation written by a professional astronomer. 2002 April 9 The Snake Nebula from CFHT Credit & Copyright: Jean-Charles Cuillandre (CFHT), Hawaiian Starlight, CFHT Explanation: What slithers overhead? The dark winding lanes visible in part of the constellation of Ophiuchus belong to the Snake Nebula. Also known as Barnard 72, the Snake Nebula is a series of dark absorption clouds made up of molecular gas and interstellar dust. Interstellar dust grains - composed predominantly of...

Better check your horoscope – according to astronomers, your sign might not actually be your sign. Scientific star-gazers say the 12 Zodiac signs we have come to memorize as handily as our own birthdays are actually out of date by a few thousand years. In fact, there should actually be a 13th sign called Ophiuchus between Scorpio and Sagittarius, changing the dates of the other signs as well. “Precession has shifted our view of the stars significantly over a few thousand years, so the sun is no longer situated in front of certain star groupings on the astrologically appointed dates,”...

A Minnesota astronomer confirms what many have suspected: Your horoscope is quite possibly wrong. Earth's shifts on its axis over the past 3,000 years have changed the 12 zodiac signs. > Here's your new sign below: Capricorn: Jan. 20-Feb. 16 Aquarius: Feb. 16-March 11 Pisces: March 11-April 18 Aries: April 18-May 13 Taurus: May 13-June 21 Gemini: June 21-July 20 Cancer: July 20-Aug. 10 Leo: Aug. 10-Sept. 16 Virgo: Sept. 16-Oct. 30 Libra: Oct. 30-Nov. 23 Scorpio: Nov. 23-Nov. 29 Ophiuchus: Nov. 29-Dec. 17 Sagittarius: Dec. 17-Jan. 20 >

asheller writes "The Star Tribune tells us the zodiac signs have shifted. Earth's wobble has shifted the signs, a new one's been added and many of us have changed signs. Formally a Cancer, I've apparently been upgraded to Gemini and am now married to an Ophiuchus, a new sign. What's yor sign? The new Zodiac Chart is pretty interesting." Here are some priceless reactions to this celestial development. As long as the Chinese Zodiac is unaffected, I'll still be able to accurately judge people based on when they were born, so please indicate in comments your (new) sign and birth...

"This is the dawning of the Age of . . . Ophiuchus??" There's been a change in the cosmos, and count on DUmmieland to be on top of it! We get the news from outer space here in this THREAD, "What's your sign?" So let us boldly go where no sane person has gone before (save for LOUSY FREEPER TROLLS!!!) and gaze at the DUmmies gazing up at the heavens, in I Am Sirius Red, while the commentary of your Hubble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, whose only sign is the sign of the cross, is in the [brackets]: What's...

I've read a few things that it all may be a hoax, but as we all probably know by now there apparently is a new sign, I called it out...not that you wont be able to recognize it, ObamaCare is easier to read... Capricorn: Jan. 20 - Feb. 16 Aquarius: Feb. 16 - March 11 Pisces: March 11- April 18 Aries: April 18 - May 13 Taurus: May 13 - June 21 Gemini: June 21 - July 20 Cancer: July 20 - Aug. 10 Leo: Aug. 10 - Sept. 16 Virgo: Sept. 16 - Oct. 30 Libra: Oct. 30 -...

God created the universe, which moves like a huge precise clock. The universe was above all created for the King of the Universe, Jesus Christ, and secondarily for human beings. THE STAR OF BETHLEHEM has fascinated many for centuries. For millennia, believers, scoffers and the curious have wondered at the Biblical account of the Star. The Bible recounts unusual, or even impossible astronomical events at Christ's birth. For many doubters, the account of the Star is easily dismissed as myth. For many believers, it is a mystery accepted on faith. But what happens if we combine current historical scholarship, astronomical...

A new supernova? Darn right. Lighting up Leo? Well… not without some serious visual aid, but the fact that someone out there is watching and has invited us along for the ride is mighty important. And just who might that someone be? None other than Tim Puckett. Less than 24 hours ago, the American Association of Variable Star Observer’s Report #222 stated: “Bright Supernova in UGC 5189A: SN 2010jl November 5, 2010 We have been informed by Tim Puckett and by the Central Bureau for Astronomical Telegrams (CBET 2532, Daniel W. E. Green, Ed.) of the discovery of a bright...

NEW YORK (MarketWatch) -- Is "all hell" about to break loose? One veteran letter thinks so -- and it predicted the Crash of 2008. Unlike almost everyone else, Arch Crawford's Crawford Perspectives had a fabulous 2008. ( See Jan. 9, 2009, column.) And when I last checked in with it in early 2010, Crawford was predicting a mid-summer massacre ( See Jan. 14 column.) Well? Now, in its monthly issue published in early July, Crawford predicts "ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE" -- beginning, as a matter of fact, on Monday July 26, 2010. Crawford means it. The letter has been 200%...

As per Lt Col Ajay Jain of www.astromoneyguru.com, May 11, 2010 is represented by planet called Moon and year 2010 is represented by Jupiter. Combinations of Jupiter and Moon create “Gajkesari” yoga may bring cool opening but trend is positive in Indian stock market. Today Rahu is in Dhanu Rashi, Mars is in Karak, and Jupiter is in Meen Rashi. Today Jupiter and Saturn are at “Kendra” to each other. Rahu and Jupiter are at “Kendra”, Jupiter and Ketu also at Kendra to each other. Venus is in Varashab Rashi.... Today as per financial astrology gold may show weakness in...

ABRAHAM 3:1–17 THE LORD SHOWED ABRAHAM THE STARS   Abraham 3:1 . What Is the Urim and Thummim? Urim and thummim come from Hebrew words meaning “lights” and “perfections.” The title Urim and Thummim was given to an instrument the Lord prepared to assist man in obtaining revelation and in translating languages. The earliest use of the Urim and Thummim mentioned in the scriptures is associated with the brother of Jared (see Ether 3:21–28 ). The Prophet Joseph Smith was given the Urim and Thummim that had previously been in the possession of the brother of Jared (see D&C...

MONTEREY BAY NATIONAL MARINE SANCTUARY, Calif. – Far from Copenhagen's turbulent climate talks, the sea lions, harbor seals and sea otters reposing along the shoreline and kelp forests of this protected marine area stand to gain from any global deal to cut greenhouse gases. These foragers of the sanctuary's frigid waters, flipping in and out of sight of California's coastal kayakers, may not seem like obvious beneficiaries of a climate treaty crafted in the Danish capital. But reducing carbon emissions worldwide also would help mend a lesser-known environmental problem: ocean acidification. "We're having a change in water chemistry, so 20...

Has any astrology buff ever run zero's chart?

This week's solar eclipse has Indian astrologers predicting violence and turmoil across the world, AFP reported. In Hindu mythology, the two demons Rahu and Ketu are said to "swallow" the sun during eclipses. It takes the life-giving life and causes food to become inedile and water undrinkable, AFP reported. Mothers-to-be are told to stay inside so their baby doesn't develop birth defects and some are worried a major world catastrophe will take place. Raj Kumar Sharma, a Mumbai astrologer, told AFP, "some sort of attack by (Kashmiri separatists) Jaish-e-Mohammad or Al Qaeda on Indian soil" and a devastating natural disaster...

I'm baaaack...and I promise more frequent DUFU editions for the next few weeks but I was busy in the latter part of May. Okay, enough with the excuses. My favorite DUmmie cave to visit for easy laughs has always been their astrology group. Why? Because they take this Aquarian stuff sooooo seriously as you can see in this DUmmie THREAD, "I just don't know what to say about the conjunction of Jupiter/Neptune/Chiron." The thread title alone has caused the tune "Age of Aquarius" to ring in my head. So let us now watch the DUmmies overanalyze astrological conjunctions in...

A row has broken out in Austria after a company tried to recruit workers born under certain star signs. The Salzburg insurance company posted an advert in major newspapers seeking employees for sales and management that were born under certain constellations, claiming statistics indicated that they were the best workers. 'We are looking for people over 20 for part-time jobs in sales and management with the following star signs: Capricorn, Taurus, Aquarius, Aries and Leo,' read the ad that appeared over the weekend.

<p>In the early 1980’s, the Wall Street Journal asked liberal economist John Kenneth Galbraith and conservative economist Milton Friedman to predict the macroeconomic trends over the next two years. Both agreed that inflation would rise above 10%, and both accused the other of obtaining his prediction by reading chicken entrails. Both were wrong about inflation, but both were right about the chicken entrails.</p>

CHINESE ASTROLOGY. Presented in Honor of the Lunar New Year by Nergal-Sharezer the Rabmag. WESTERN ASTROLOGY IS based on the idea that the date of one’s birth, which comes about once a year in an unending cycle, determines one’s destiny. Chinese astrology, on the other hand, postulates that the year of one’s birth is the determining element. Nergal-Sharezer the Rabmag has great respect for the ancient wisdom of the Celestial Empire, and believes that the mere fact that these two systems are mutually exclusive should not be taken as evidence that they are not both true. The twelve years of...

Permalink: http://www.zenit.org/article-24710?l=englishPontiff Says People Aren't Governed by the Stars Reiterates Galileo's Thought on Cosmos VATICAN CITY, JAN. 7, 2009 (Zenit.org).- The universe is not governed by a blind force, but by love, and people are not slaves to the cosmos, Benedict XVI says. The Pope affirmed this Tuesday during a Mass in St. Peter's Basilica that celebrated the magi of the east, who arrived to Bethlehem following a star. During his homily he spoke of Galileo's idea that love governs the cosmos. The Holy Father noted that 2009 marks the 400th anniversary of Galileo's first observations by telescope. This anniversary...

By Jeremiah Horrigan Times Herald-Record October 26, 2008 STONE RIDGE — He's losing ground in almost every poll every day. Increasingly, the world's most sophisticated polling and demographic reviews are spewing out reams of up-to-the-minute bad news for Republican John McCain. But McCain can take comfort from one all-but-forgotten predictive realm: the heavens. A small group of folks who practice the world's oldest form of forecasting decided this past week that the heavens favor John McCain for president. Nearly a dozen predictive astrologers, members of the local chapter of the National Council for Geocosmic Research, spent more than two hours...

HOROSCOPE or HORRORSCOPE? Scorpio (October 23 to November 21): You are a free spirit, longing for change. A tall, dark and mysterious stranger is about to reorder your life. Cast your ballot to leave behind those bitter clingers in rural areas. Don't get caught obsessing over returns on your investments. Seize the chance for free health care; don't let misgivings about how it will be paid for, cause you to miss out. Sagittarius (November 22 to December 21): There will be many who seek the safety of isolation, in the months to come. Take care not to fall victim to...

And can studying NASA’s website provide evidence for such a scenario? A minister who promotes the Old Testament roots of Christianity suggests a rare string of lunar and solar eclipses said to fall on God’s annual holy days seven years from now could herald what’s come to be known as the “Second Coming” of Jesus. “God wants us to look at the biblical calendar,” says Mark Biltz, pastor of El Shaddai Ministries in Bonney Lake, Wash. “The reason we need to be watching is [because] He will signal His appearance. But we have to know what to be watching as...

The FUnniest thing about this DUmmie THREAD titled, "Obama's astrological chart," isn't so much the subject matter as the fact that it was posted in the DUmmie Presidential forum. Normally such astrological analysis is posted in their Astrology forum but I guess enough DUmmies take astrology so seriously that this was allowed in the much busier Presidential forum. So let us now watch the DUmmies take the divining properties of chunks of mud and rock whirling through the ether in complete seriousness while the commentary of your humble correspondent, waiting for a prognostication of the election via analyzing chicken...

I love DUmmie astrology threads primarily because they take this nonsense sooooo seriously. Notice how they are very specific about how the alignment of the planets (including Uranus) and the moons affected events in the past such, in this case, as Hillary's failed healthcare plan in 1994 but very hazy about anything in the future. So hazy that they can claim that astrological predictions were dead on almost no matter what happens. Okay, I'll confess the REAL reason why I am DUFUing this DUmmie THREAD. With a title like "Saturn and Hillary (with a dash of Uranus)" how could...

DENVER – Picking a winner of the presidential contest is front and center at what's being billed as the largest astrologers' convention in years. More than 1,500 astrologers from 45 countries have descended on Denver, site of the Democratic National Convention in August, for the “United Astrology Conference: Rockin' the Universe.” The gathering concludes Tuesday with a panel predicting a presidential winner in November. Key to those picks: Astrological charts for John McCain, Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton. And integral to those charts: The candidates' exact birth times. A hush fell over the convention hall late Thursday when Dallas astrologer...

I wasn't in a very political mood today so I wandered over to the DUmmie astrology forum for some laughs. The first thing I saw was Uranus. Threads about Uranus always make me laugh so I decidied to DUFU Uranus. The photo above is from Voyager staring straight up Uranus. Voyager found out that there were rings around Uranus. I knew there were rings around your toilet but not around Uranus. Despite the fact that I wasn't in a political mood this DUmmie THREAD titled, "quick thought re: Uranus and sending Light," ended up being about politics. The DUmmies...

LONDON (AP) - Desperate for a glimpse into Adolf Hitler's unpredictable mind, British spies hired an astrologer during World War II to write horoscopes for him and other Nazi leaders, documents declassified Tuesday show. They soon regretted it. The file released to Britain's National Archives catalogs the frustrations of MI5 handlers as they tried to prevent the astrologer, Louis de Wohl, from publicly embarrassing high-ranking intelligence and military officers. "I have never liked Louis de Wohl—he strikes me as a charlatan and an imposter," reads the first line in the astrologer's file. The letter is typical and appeared to be...

The Year of the Rat is for the opportunist, the proactive, the profiteer and the politician. Year of the Rat This, indeed, will be a year to keep a watchful eye on those who run the world financially, intellectually and dictatorially. The Rat year is also one of change, reform and the year to put well-thought-out strategy to work. Worldwide, it's a time when security will count and when political giants will want to protect what's theirs. As for the average Joe, the Year of the Rat means 12 months to turn losses into gains and instability into security. It...

People who put their trust in horoscopes, astrology and mediums are "colluding with an illusion" and must turn back to place their trust in God, said Archbishop Sean Brady of Armagh and primate of Ireland. Underlying the trend of "future-telling" is a fear of the future, said the archbishop during his a homily at Our Lady of Knock Shrine, reported The Irish Times. The archbishop celebrated the Mass of the Queenship of Mary, and gave a homily on the theme “Following Christ in the 21st Century.” The archbishop said he has noticed people "seeking to control their future rather than...

TOKYO (AP) -- Former U.S. Federal Reserve Chairman Alan Greenspan told a Tokyo seminar on Thursday that he does not think economic slowdown in his country is "probable," toning down his earlier warning over a recession later this year. "It is possible we can get a U.S. recession toward the end of this year, but I don't think it's probable," Dow Jones Newswires quoted Greenspan as saying in his speech at a Tokyo forum organized by international brokerage CLSA. On Monday, Greenspan said a recession was possible, though it's difficult to predict the timing, a comment blamed in part for...

Fortune-teller: Year of Pig not so amicable (AP/chinadaily.com.cn) Updated: 2007-02-16 20:53 HONG KONG - Sunday marks the start of the Chinese New Year and it's a lucky one for those starting out in life. But the rest of us are in for a rough ride. Expect epidemics, disasters and violence in much of the world. "The Year of the Pig will not be very peaceful," said Hong Kong feng shui master Raymond Lo. Feng shui is the ancient Chinese practice of trying to achieve health, harmony and prosperity by using specific dates, numbers, building design and the placement of objects....

The world can expect a roller-coaster ride of conflict and unrest, natural disasters and a plunge in global stock markets once the Year of the Pig begins, Chinese soothsayers say. As the world farewells the Year of the Dog on Sunday, believers in Chinese superstitions have been busy consulting fortune tellers, feng shui geomancers and a wealth of new books for the year's fortunes. Chinese fortunes are based on a belief that events are dictated by the different balances in the elements that make up the earth -- gold, wood, water, fire and earth. Feng shui expert Raymond Lo said...

Number 1 Worst : Libra - Sept. 23 to Oct. 22 Libra is the "sign of the scales", it craves balance and consensus. Libra doesn’t like to make snap decisions. But rush hour traffic is not a time for seeking driver approval, or for being indecisive. 2nd Worst Position : Aquarius - Jan. 20 to Feb. 18 They’re impulsive, and ruled by the Planet of speed and rebellion. Aquarians need to get a better grip behind the wheel. 3rd Worst Position : Aries - Mar. 21 to Apr. 19 Its symbol is the ram. Not good a sign to have...

Please forgive me! When writing the first sample chapter of my proposed DUmmie FUnnies book (publishers, please don't worry about embarrassing me with an extravagant cash advance when you contact me at: PJ-COMIX) titled THE REALITY BASED COMMUNITY, I neglected to mention that there is a DUmmie discussion group called, "Astrology, Spirituality & Alternative Healing Group." Yes, the "Children of the Enlightenment," have just such a hocus pocus group replete with threads with titles like "Any Reiki healers in the house?" "Uranus in Pisces, Neptune in Aquarius, everything is back assward," "The Ascending Cosmic Pulse, and "Vedic Astrologer says...

Dr Sayyed Mohammad Ali, who predicted this week's death of Egyptian acclaimed writer Najib Mahfouz, is focusing his expertise on predicting the fall of the Jewish State, the Qatar-based newspaper al-Watan reported. Dr. Ali, who successfully predicted the death of two prominent Egyptian artists, said Israel will launch a new war [by] the end of 2007 and Lebanon will witness "regretful events." He said he had predicted that in 2006 opposition to the United States will increase, and this is evident today in the coalition between Iran and Syria... He also predicts a confrontation between Israel and Iran, which could...

Will it mean anything when Pluto is "in retrograde" anymore? Will this cause do-over's on a massive scale of the last few years of Shirley MacLaine's readings? Have you retained attorney's in case this gets real ugly? Also, should I bet on the Bucs going above .500 given they have the 2nd toughest schedule in the league as far as last year's winning percentage of opponents they are slated to play this year?

This Jerome Armstrong stuff gets stranger and stranger. Now it turns out that Mark Warner’s top internet advisor is a long time astrologer. You have to read this; it is side-splittingly hilarious. Here’s Armstrong, on the 2001 Earley-Warner gubernatorial race, three weeks before that Election Day:

Byron York has some of Markos' modest little speech the other day, but I've found the rest that he decided not to use: "Yeah, they can take me down, Ma, but I'll still be there. I'm a part of something bigger. I'll be all aroun' in the dark. Stumbling around in the dark. I'll be ever'where. Ever'where you look. Whenever there's a brutally murdered American in Iraq to scorn, I'll be there. Wherever there's a few loons milling around with misspelled protes' signs saying 'Bush Lied! People Died!' and pictures of Che, and paper-mache puppets of Uncle Sam and Bushitlercheney...

Brazilian archaeologists have found an ancient stone structure in a remote corner of the Amazon that may cast new light on the region's past. The site, thought to be an observatory or place of worship, pre-dates European colonisation and is said to suggest a sophisticated knowledge of astronomy. Its appearance is being compared to the English site of Stonehenge. It was traditionally thought that before European colonisation, the Amazon had no advanced societies. Winter solstice The archaeologists made the discovery in the state of Amapa, in the far north of Brazil. A total of 127 large blocks of stone were...

Dec. 28, 2005 - " ... during the time of King Herod, Magi from the east came to Jerusalem and asked, 'Where is the one who has been born king of the Jews? We saw his star in the east and have come to worship him.'" - Matthew 2:1-2 They are requisite figures in every nativity scene: Three elegantly dressed exotic men, camels in tow, weighed down with gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh. They are always a few steps removed, seeming to defer to the farm animals surrounding the young mother and her newborn. Accuracy is not a hallmark...

The twelve stones in the breastplate of the ancient Hebrew high priest can now be identified, with the corresponding tribes of Israel. The Lord instructed Moses to have the names of the twelve sons of Israel engraved on twelve stones in the breastplate of the high priest. The exact order, arrangement, and type of each stone were explicitly stated (Ex. 28:17-21), but the name to be written on each stone was not given, perhaps because it was obvious to Moses. After the destruction of the temple, the knowledge of which tribe was associated with which stone was lost, and even...

Do you know how you can figure out that the Karl Rove “scandal” is going NOWHERE? Simple. When the DUmmies start consulting astrologers to forecast Rove’s fate as you can see in this THREAD titled, “Astrologers: What's in Karl Rove's chart?” I seem to remember the DUmmies rejoicing just before the November election because astrologers were predicting a Kerry win. I’m sure there were also astrological consultations in DUmmieland as to whether Jeff Gannon or the DSM would bring down the EVIL Bush regime. On the latter “scandal” have you noticed how DSM has been COMPLETELY forgotten in DUmmieland...

Russian Astrologer Sues NASA Over Comet MOSCOW (AP) -- NASA's mission that sent a space probe smashing into a comet raised more than cosmic dust - it also brought a lawsuit from a Russian astrologer. Marina Bai has sued the U.S. space agency, claiming the Deep Impact probe that punched a crater into the comet Tempel 1 late Sunday "ruins the natural balance of forces in the universe," the newspaper Izvestia reported Tuesday. A Moscow court has postponed hearings on the case until late July, the paper said. The probe's comet crash sent up a cloud of debris that scientists...

MOSCOW (AP) - NASA's mission that sent a space probe smashing into a comet raised more than cosmic dust - it also brought a lawsuit from a Russian astrologer. Marina Bai has sued the U.S. space agency, claiming the Deep Impact probe that punched a crater into the comet Tempel 1 late Sunday "ruins the natural balance of forces in the universe," the newspaper Izvestia reported Tuesday. A Moscow court has postponed hearings on the case until late July, the paper said. The probe's comet crash sent up a cloud of debris that scientists hope to examine to learn how...

A Russian astrologist who says NASA has altered her horoscope by crashing a spacecraft into a comet is suing the U.S. space agency for damages of $300 million, local media has reported. NASA deliberately crashed its probe, named Deep Impact, into the Tempel 1 comet to unleash a spray of material formed billions of years ago which scientists hope will shed new light on the composition of the solar system. "It is obvious that elements of the comet's orbit, and correspondingly the ephemeris, will change after the explosion, which interferes with my astrology work and distorts my horoscope," Izvestia daily...