1. 0bama will attempt to reverse the tide through an executive order. When the tide comes in anyway it will be declared racist.
2. A chemical spill will deposit lye on the floor of the White House Throne Room. 1245 journalists will go to the emergency room seeking treatment for lip burns, but no normal human beings will be harmed.
3. The Earth will continue its two-decade-long cycle of decreasing temperatures. White privilege will be blamed.
4. Mental defectives in Guy Fawkes masks will celebrate anarchy by calling for more government.
5. A cute little schoolboy will present an empty bowl to Moochelle 0bama pleading, "Please, Ma'am, may I have some more porridge?" He will be severely beaten by the Secret Service before she eats him.
6. 0bama will take a vacation.
7. Joe Biden will make a state visit to China and inadvertently sell the U.S. Seventh Fleet to them for scrap, taking payment in worthless U.S. Treasury bonds. The Chinese officials will tap their heads significantly and mutter something about "Srow Joe".
8. Moochelle 0bama's office will issue a furious denial that she ever uttered the words, "Let them eat cake." "Mrs. 0bama knows that cake is not good for children," the statement will say, "what she actually said was 'let them eat dried mung beans. Bring me all the cake.'"
9. A coalition of eight Islamic states, fifteen terrorist organizations, and a band of wandering camel thieves will mount a surprise offensive against Israel, foiled when the IDF turns the road signs 90 degrees and they march into the Suez canal.
10. News stories on the wave of riots and lootings that have burned fifteen American cities to the ground will be interrupted by a Presidential statement that race relations have never been better. The media will spend the rest of the evening risking vertebral damage by nodding their heads too vigorously.
In short, nothing much will change.