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Posts by Bubba Ho-Tep

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    04/17/2014 11:36:29 AM PDT · 59 of 96
    Bubba Ho-Tep to Marie Antoinette

    Did the money for the helicopters come from the state budgets? Were they the property of the state governments?

  • Putin Asserts Right To Use Force In Eastern Ukraine

    04/17/2014 10:25:16 AM PDT · 55 of 63
    Bubba Ho-Tep to dfwgator
    It’s wrong to try to frame Putin in any context that is not of Russian nature.

    As a friend of mine said after taking a Russian history class, "The Russians have always been the Russians."

    If you want to read a good book about Russian expansionism in the 18th and 19th Centuries, "The Great Game" by Peter Hopkirk is a terrific read. The usual pattern for absorbing Central Asia from the shores of the Caspian to the borders of China and Afghanistan was to send traders, then send soldiers to protect the traders while insisting loudly that they had no intentions of taking the area. Then the local commander would sieze control on some pretext of a threat to the traders or soldiers and, while Moscow swore that they hadn't planned this, they would proceed to absorb the territory. The British would be outraged and the Russians would swear it wouldn't happen again. Then traders would start moving into the next khanate.

  • Donetsk leaflet: Jews must register or face deportation

    04/17/2014 6:21:07 AM PDT · 38 of 39
    Bubba Ho-Tep to wetphoenix

    You do understand that Pushilin admits it was his group passing them out, right?

  • Donetsk leaflet: Jews must register or face deportation

    04/16/2014 6:43:19 PM PDT · 8 of 39
    Bubba Ho-Tep to Genoa

    I don’t know about Nazi, but the fact that he admits his organization is behind this seems pretty damning. It will be interesting to hear how the Putinistas here spin this.

  • Why does federal government own 84% of Nevada and what can Reid do to give it back?

    04/16/2014 4:45:07 PM PDT · 33 of 33
    Bubba Ho-Tep to SeekAndFind
    Article 4, Section 3: "The Congress shall have Power to dispose of and make all needful Rules and Regulations respecting the Territory or other Property belonging to the United States; and nothing in this Constitution shall be so construed as to Prejudice any Claims of the United States, or of any particular State."

    And since Virginia, Connecticut, North Carolina and Georgia all ceded vast lands, basically from the Appalachians to the Mississippi to the federal government in the late 18th Century, it's hard to make a case that the founders never intended to them to control more than some forts, lighthouses and the District of Columbia.

    Next question, was 84% of Nevada annexed by the USA with the consent of the State legislature of Nevada when Nevada entered statehood?

    No, for the simple reason that the land was US government property before statehood. You can't annex something you already own. Property ownership of federal land no more changed under statehood than did private land. Nevada recognized that ownership when it was granted statehood.

  • Mom, 44, shot dead ... by husband who was hallucinating after eating a marijuana cookie'...

    04/16/2014 3:11:44 PM PDT · 114 of 120
    Bubba Ho-Tep to Mariner
    You are correct. Ingestion will screw up even the most experienced and relegate them to babbling fools looking for a place to hide.

    The problem with eating it is that, first, you don't know the dose, and second, it takes a while to feel the effects. Smoking it, you see the dose and feel the effects more or less instantly and it's more or less controllable. Eating it, some people eat too much to start with because they have no reference to the potency, then when they don't feel anything 45 minutes later (or even more--a full stomach slows the uptake), they eat more. Then, two hours later, they are the babbling fools you describe. But homicidal, I don't think so.

  • Does Cliven Bundy Have Something Called “Prescriptive Rights”

    04/16/2014 11:15:12 AM PDT · 28 of 73
    Bubba Ho-Tep to DannyTN
    Maybe it's that the Federal government owns as much land as it does. That seems to be a sore point with a lot of people out west. There is a legislative remedy for that though. And if the government does sell off it's vast holdings, is there going to be enough water resources for the increased population?

    As I've pointed out before, all of this land was available to be homesteaded well into the 20th Century. There's a reason no one wanted it.

  • Conservatives Want to Make Divorce Harder, Extend Government Power

    04/16/2014 9:29:16 AM PDT · 32 of 35
    Bubba Ho-Tep to maryz
    Isn't this more or less the way it was everywhere before no-fault divorce became the way to go, in the late 60s IIRC?

    I read an account once of a woman in New York in the early 1960s who put herself through college by being "the other woman" in amicable divorce cases that required cause. The routine was that she would go to a hotel, meet the wife and husband and the private detective. She and the husband would take off their clothes and get in bed, the private eye would take a picture, then they'd get dressed and all go out to brunch.

  • Looking for a good book recommendation on WWI

    04/15/2014 5:40:09 PM PDT · 72 of 105
    Bubba Ho-Tep to KosmicKitty

    Isn’t Carlin great? His “Common Sense” podcast is also good.

    As for books, “The Price of Glory” by Alistair Horne about Verdun is amazing. Read about the fighting in the tunnels under Fort Vaux and you’ll never trash talk French fighting spirit again. Also “In Flanders Field: The 1917 Offensive” by Leon Wolff, about the sheer idiocy of the high command, sending hundreds of thousands of men to death and mutilation for a few thousand yards gain. Truly horrifying.

  • World's Best Pizza Not in Italy

    04/15/2014 2:46:30 PM PDT · 23 of 106
    Bubba Ho-Tep to 2ndDivisionVet
    Nope. Leonardo’s in Cedar Rapids, Iowa.

    Heathen! Fricano's in Grand Haven, Michigan is the best.

  • Lincoln’s Character

    04/15/2014 1:53:21 PM PDT · 23 of 32
    Bubba Ho-Tep to lentulusgracchus

    Still, a state-level southern thing for which you apparently blame Lincoln.

  • Lincoln’s Character

    04/15/2014 12:55:05 PM PDT · 21 of 32
    Bubba Ho-Tep to lentulusgracchus

    That all must be a peculiarly southern thing. I never heard of anyone getting chucked onto a chain gang by a “white trash courthouse crowd loungers and ne’er-do-wells” anywhere else. Nor sheriffs simply murdering children walking along the road. And this is Lincoln’s fault how? By abolishing slavery?

  • CBS, Colbert and Contempt for America

    04/15/2014 12:08:55 PM PDT · 43 of 43
    Bubba Ho-Tep to Reeses
    An advertiser's goal is to make people unhappy with what they have.

    An advertiser's goal is to sell products at a profit. It's kinda the way business and the economy works. Creating an itch that only your product can scratch is sometimes an effective way to do that.

  • Lincoln’s Character

    04/15/2014 8:28:49 AM PDT · 16 of 32
    Bubba Ho-Tep to lentulusgracchus
    They killed a million people to make America safe for high tariffs and time-cards, bullying niggardly employers, highhanded and high-hatted billionaires and wage-breakers, and bossism generally.

    Seriously, you should join the Occupy crowd. You sound exactly like them.

    A rich man's paradise.

    Spoken like a true class warrior.

  • Lincoln’s Character

    04/15/2014 8:24:47 AM PDT · 15 of 32
    Bubba Ho-Tep to lentulusgracchus
    No haggling, no negotating power, no leverage, no nothing. Just the time-card, the black-list, and the Company Store.

    You sound like a union organizer.

    Maybe it hasn't occurred to you, but the difference between the chain gang and the sharecropper and the slave is that the chain gang convict has been convicted by a jury of his peers and his children aren't going to be born into the chain gang and die on the chain gang. Likewise with the sharecropper, with the additional fact that he always has the option of leaving, something that they did in their hundreds of thousands for better jobs...wait for the north.

  • CBS, Colbert and Contempt for America

    04/14/2014 4:39:32 PM PDT · 18 of 43
    Bubba Ho-Tep to servo1969
    Television networks aren’t being foolish by driving away older viewers. They’re working closely with ad agencies that want the same thing.

    This guy has never sat through a marketing meeting in his life, I suspect. He thinks that it's the networks and the ad agencies that are driving this? It's the advertisers and their marketing people, who are relentlessly data-driven, looking at the ROI for every marketing dollar. Ad agencies execute the brief from the client, including target demographics, and come up with a bunch of ideas, hoping the client likes one of them. Networks program to maximize the revenue from those advertisers.

  • Jury Selection Begins in Byron Smith Murder Trial

    04/14/2014 3:22:54 PM PDT · 19 of 25
    Bubba Ho-Tep to GilesB
    It gets worse. Apparently the guy had the whole house wired and the killings are caught on audio. From another report, "According to an audio recording of the incident, the man, Byron David Smith, shot the teenage girl, Haile Kifer, in the chest and then taunted the 18-year-old, telling her she was dying in the final moments of her life, before repeatedly shot her until she died." source
  • Jury Selection Begins in Byron Smith Murder Trial

    04/14/2014 3:11:46 PM PDT · 18 of 25
    Bubba Ho-Tep to Uncle Chip

    Frankly, the guy’s story about shooting the boy a couple of times, then wrapping the body in a tarp and sitting back down in his chair until the girl came down the stairs a few minutes later doesn’t sound right. I find myself wondering if he caught the two breaking in, marched them at gunpoint into the basement and executed them both. It will be interesting to hear what the physical evidence of bullet holes, etc. has to say.

  • Japanese Films about WWII Spark Controversy

    04/14/2014 1:18:18 PM PDT · 57 of 85
    Bubba Ho-Tep to Tijeras_Slim

    The two great Japanese movies about the war are “Fires on the Plain” (1951) and “The Burmese Harp” (1956), both directed by Kon Ichikawa. Both are considered classics of Japanese cinema.

  • Lincoln’s Character

    04/14/2014 12:58:40 PM PDT · 10 of 32
    Bubba Ho-Tep to .45 Long Colt
    On Aug. 22, 1862, he wrote, “My paramount objective in this struggle is to save the Union and is not either to save or destroy slavery. If I could save the Union without freeing any slave, I would do it.”

    When will the hagiography stop?

    When will the out-of-context-quoting stop? For the record, here's the full quote from Lincoln:

    As to the policy I "seem to be pursuing" as you say, I have not meant to leave any one in doubt.

    I would save the Union. I would save it the shortest way under the Constitution. The sooner the national authority can be restored; the nearer the Union will be "the Union as it was." If there be those who would not save the Union, unless they could at the same time save slavery, I do not agree with them. If there be those who would not save the Union unless they could at the same time destroy slavery, I do not agree with them. My paramount object in this struggle is to save the Union, and is not either to save or to destroy slavery. If I could save the Union without freeing any slave I would do it, and if I could save it by freeing all the slaves I would do it; and if I could save it by freeing some and leaving others alone I would also do that. What I do about slavery, and the colored race, I do because I believe it helps to save the Union; and what I forbear, I forbear because I do not believe it would help to save the Union. I shall do less whenever I shall believe what I am doing hurts the cause, and I shall do more whenever I shall believe doing more will help the cause. I shall try to correct errors when shown to be errors; and I shall adopt new views so fast as they shall appear to be true views.

    I have here stated my purpose according to my view of official duty; and I intend no modification of my oft-expressed personal wish that all men every where could be free.

    And you know the funny thing? Somehow, at the end of the war, the slaves ended up free.
  • Texas woman arrested after failing to stop and talk to police officer

    04/14/2014 10:09:51 AM PDT · 31 of 130
    Bubba Ho-Tep to TexasGunLover
    In Texas, if you walk or run on a public road way, you are required to do so facing into traffic.

    New Texas state motto: "Walk the way we say, or else."

  • Texas woman arrested after failing to stop and talk to police officer

    04/14/2014 10:06:32 AM PDT · 28 of 130
    Bubba Ho-Tep to Bizhvywt

    I always wonder why Texas is considered such a bastion of freedom around here when you read stories like this on such a regular basis.

  • Obama Laughs About 'Crazy' Birth Certificate Questions

    04/14/2014 9:36:58 AM PDT · 85 of 173
    Bubba Ho-Tep to little jeremiah
    5 years? Your arithmetic skills are poor. They didn’t start until 2012.

    The first allegations that something was hinky about Obama's birth certificate emerged during the 2008 campaign with an anonymous email connected to the Hillary campaign. Obama released his "certificate of live birth" in June, 2008. Philip Berg's lawsuit was filed that August.

    Here's a timeline of some of the major events

  • Militias head to Nevada rancher’s standoff with feds: We’re not ‘afraid to shoot’

    04/11/2014 1:04:14 PM PDT · 162 of 383
    Bubba Ho-Tep to longtermmemmory
    apparently DC insiders have given oil drilling permists for the same land...

    No, they haven't. They auctioned off some leases for an area over 300 miles away.

  • ‘Expect To See A Band Of Soldiers’: Militia Members Arrive At Nevada Ranch

    04/10/2014 6:43:12 PM PDT · 304 of 392
    Bubba Ho-Tep to ROCKLOBSTER

    All of that land was available to be homesteaded well into the 20th Century. No one wanted it, at least enough to fulfill the homestead provisions.

  • ‘Expect To See A Band Of Soldiers’: Militia Members Arrive At Nevada Ranch

    04/10/2014 4:56:04 PM PDT · 287 of 392
    Bubba Ho-Tep to BuckeyeTexan

    Look up Pollard’s Lessee v. Hagan (1845)

  • Katherine Heigl sues drug store for $6M for using her image

    04/10/2014 3:54:52 PM PDT · 24 of 34
    Bubba Ho-Tep to Salgak
    If it’s on a public street, or on your private property, yes. . .

    Hmm. Interesting. So I can photograph you in public, sell your photo to anyone I want to advertise anything they want--slap it up on billboards across the country selling Obamacare, say--and I don't have to have your permission or pay you anything.

    It might surprise you that the law takes a somewhat different view.


    04/10/2014 3:38:07 PM PDT · 57 of 99
    Bubba Ho-Tep to max americana
    If Ike didn’t handcuff him, there would be a US flag over the Reichstag vs the commie red star.

    Yeah, and then the US flag would have been taken down and the hammer and sickle replaced it because that's what FDR agreed to at Yalta. The Russians lost 80,000 dead and a quarter million wounded in the Battle of Berlin. What would the point of US casualties like that have been just to raise a flag that the politicians had already decided wouldn't stay?


    04/10/2014 3:17:49 PM PDT · 51 of 99
    Bubba Ho-Tep to Sola Veritas
    However, that is nonsense as well.

    The whole assassination conspiracy notion is just absurd. To believe it, you have to believe that the best plan someone could come up with was to stage a car accident, run up to Patton's car and use some sort of magical weapon that would break his neck, then wait a couple of weeks for him to develop a pulmonary edema and congestive heart failure from being laid up in a body cast.

  • Katherine Heigl sues drug store for $6M for using her image

    04/10/2014 3:07:39 PM PDT · 10 of 34
    Bubba Ho-Tep to shelterguy

    So you’re okay if someone takes your picture without your permission, uses it in their advertising without your permission, and doesn’t pay you anything?


    04/10/2014 2:55:46 PM PDT · 64 of 66
    Bubba Ho-Tep to Yosemitest

    Yeah, that should work. I assume your TVs aren’t so old they don’t have composite inputs. You’ll probably need to go into the Roku’s settings to get the output resolution right, but that shouldn’t be a problem. You should check out the user forums at if you haven’t already.


    04/10/2014 7:39:33 AM PDT · 53 of 66
    Bubba Ho-Tep to Yosemitest
    I have two fairly old TVs, neither is HD.

    Then Roku isn't going to be an option for you. It outputs via HDMI and your TVs won't have that input if they're that old.

  • Nevada rancher's son freed, BLM collecting cattle

    04/09/2014 4:58:07 PM PDT · 197 of 413
    Bubba Ho-Tep to Cyber Liberty
    But the numbers counted in the wild is shrinking, so something is happening to them.

    Actually the numbers have gone up every year. 205 in 2011. 237 last year. Now, the increase is mostly due to release of captive-bred birds, but a few chicks have hatched in the wild. Part of the problem is that condors are just naturally slow-reproducing. And lead poisoning actually is a problem, to the extent that they've pulled birds from the wild to treat them. Whether that justifies a lead ammo ban as proposed in California is a different matter. Another problem is chick mortality caused by parents feeding them trash. At the end of the day, they may be simply too fragile a species to survive in the wild in the modern world despite the millions spent to save them.

    It's interesting to read the link you provided, though. As you say, even the wind farm opponents concede that they can't actually PROVE any birds have been killed. They just assume it's so and that there's some conspiracy to keep them from knowing about it. Again, my natural skepticism comes out.

  • Nevada rancher's son freed, BLM collecting cattle

    04/09/2014 2:46:25 PM PDT · 181 of 413
    Bubba Ho-Tep to Cyber Liberty

    I also take it that you’re unable to find evidence of this “slaughter.”

  • Nevada rancher's son freed, BLM collecting cattle

    04/09/2014 2:44:44 PM PDT · 180 of 413
    Bubba Ho-Tep to Cyber Liberty
    Ok. I get it. You’re a supporter of wind farms. N/m

    I don't much care about wind farms either way. I just don't like to see people saying things that are simply untrue, like that condors are being slaughtered by them. It doesn't help make a case.

  • 1 in custody after Pennsylvania school stabbings

    04/09/2014 2:09:19 PM PDT · 85 of 90
    Bubba Ho-Tep to JLAGRAYFOX
    Ms. Davis will lose...big time in November!!!

    Of course she will. But now she's positioned to run for a house seat from a liberal district in Texas. This was never about winning the governorship. It was about building a resume and a fundraising base outside the state.

  • Nevada rancher's son freed, BLM collecting cattle

    04/09/2014 2:03:39 PM PDT · 167 of 413
    Bubba Ho-Tep to Cyber Liberty
    Go on, find one recorded incident of it happening. Just one. Should be easy, right? You called it a "slaughter", and since there are 237 of them in the wild, all banded and tracked, it should be easy to show some that have been killed by wind turbines.

    This whole issue has only arisen because there's a proposal to build a windfarm on a piece of condor range. That's why the builders asked for a waiver before they got started. Maybe it will kill condors when it's built, but so far it hasn't been built and hence no condors have been killed by it.

    Of course, if you're so concerned about the condors, you must also back banning lead ammunition, because that actually has been documented as killing a few of the birds.

  • Nevada rancher's son freed, BLM collecting cattle

    04/09/2014 12:57:23 PM PDT · 152 of 413
    Bubba Ho-Tep to FBD
    I assure you, the Columbia River Gorge, is a federally protected area. That’s who the Gorge commission gets its authority and funding from.

    From your link: "The Gorge Commission is a bi-state Compact agency authorized by the Scenic Act and created by Washington and Oregon legislation in 1987. The Commission is funded equally by the two states and is comprised of twelve volunteers appointed by the counties and states."

    Care to take a guess at how much it cost them to win that court case to keep their house?

    Don't know, but I know that the Pacific Legal Foundation took their case for free.

    Let’s not get lost in the weeds here.

    Then quit pointing to the weeds.

  • Nevada rancher's son freed, BLM collecting cattle

    04/09/2014 12:51:31 PM PDT · 148 of 413
    Bubba Ho-Tep to FBD
    How is it that 52 cattle ranchers all left the area?

    Seeing as we're talking about Clark County, Nevada here, and the Las Vegas housing boom of recent years, they most likely sold their land to real estate developers and made more money than they could in years of grazing cattle on that scrub. Combine that with the fact that family farms have traditionally had a problem with kids not wanting to stay there and it's easy to see how the ranching operations could shut down.

  • Nevada rancher's son freed, BLM collecting cattle

    04/09/2014 12:30:00 PM PDT · 142 of 413
    Bubba Ho-Tep to FBD
    See this story about how a couple was forced to tear down their house, then get back to me about how generous the feds are:

    You might want to research that story a little more deeply. They ended up winning a unanimous decision in the Washington State Supreme Court 13 years ago and live in their house today.

    One other thing: The Columbia River Gorge Commission is a creature of the Washington and Oregon state governments. They fund it and staff it. The feds had nothing to do with the Bea's problems.

  • Nevada rancher's son freed, BLM collecting cattle

    04/09/2014 12:10:43 PM PDT · 130 of 413
    Bubba Ho-Tep to Paladin2
    So all Bundy has to do is defeat the US in a war and the land will change hands the way it always has.

    Although honestly, I don't think most of the indigenous inhabitants of Nevada had ever heard of Mexico, much less seen a Mexican, when the land was transferred to the US.

  • Dramatic Little Known GOP Rule Change Takes Choice Of Presidential Candidate Away From Rank And File

    04/09/2014 12:02:49 PM PDT · 12 of 35
    Bubba Ho-Tep to Mouton
    There is no distinction between either party. They are all the same guy.

    The Harlem Globetrotters and the Washington Generals. It's a show, not a contest.

  • Nevada rancher's son freed, BLM collecting cattle

    04/09/2014 11:58:41 AM PDT · 125 of 413
    Bubba Ho-Tep to Cyber Liberty
    They’re killing off what’s left of the California Condors too. Obastard just EO’ed an exemption to the Endangered Species Act for the power companies using wind farms, so they can continue slaughtering the rare birds.

    You mean that slaughter that hasn't killed a single condor yet?

  • Nevada rancher's son freed, BLM collecting cattle

    04/09/2014 11:52:58 AM PDT · 121 of 413
    Bubba Ho-Tep to FBD
    But the federal government currently lays claim to over 80% of the land in Nevada. That doesn't leave much arable land left to the "people".

    All of that land was available to homestead for over a hundred years. There's a reason no one ever claimed it. The "arable" land--by definition what's farmable--is what they did take, leaving the scrub and desert and marginal grazing lands to the feds, who acquired it all from Mexico via war.

  • Armed Fed Agents and Snipers? Nevada Rancher Is Taking on the Gov’t in a Battle at Breaking Point

    04/09/2014 10:38:47 AM PDT · 48 of 135
    Bubba Ho-Tep to xzins
    There's a good book called "How the West Was Lost" that tracks how Kentucky went from a "good poor man's country" into another place where wealthy large landholders dominated--"From Daniel Boone to Henry Clay" as the subtitle puts it. There's an illustration in there of the multiple overlapping claims in one court case that's just amazing.

    The same problem is also why Abraham Lincoln's father left Kentucky. He bought a piece of land, but it turned out the man he brought it from hadn't paid the guy HE got it from. More court battles that dragged on for years, ending with the Lincolns evicted.

    It reminds me of the Mark Twain line about the town that had one lawyer and he was starving. Then another lawyer moved to town and now they're both rich.

  • Armed Fed Agents and Snipers? Nevada Rancher Is Taking on the Gov’t in a Battle at Breaking Point

    04/09/2014 10:02:57 AM PDT · 43 of 135
    Bubba Ho-Tep to xzins
    Simon Kenton was claiming land in Ohio and Kentucky into the 1800’s using tomahawk claims.

    You mark it, and it’s yours.

    Which is why Kentucky lands became such a nightmare of overlapping claims, provoking endless court battles. Daniel Boone ended up spending more time in court than he did at home and in the end lost everything, prompting him to move to the Spanish territories in Missouri.

  • Armed Fed Agents and Snipers? Nevada Rancher Is Taking on the Gov’t in a Battle at Breaking Point

    04/09/2014 9:55:20 AM PDT · 41 of 135
    Bubba Ho-Tep to xzins
    What did Jefferson do with the Louisianna Purchase?

    Not much. It certainly wasn't sold off and the vast majority of it remained federal land for over 50 years until the Homestead Act of 1862 allowed people to claim land. Even then, though, there was a lot of land no one wanted--like the vast chunks of the west with no water. When the western lands were organized as territories and then granted statehood, the land that belonged to the federal government remained in the hands of the federal government.

    Homesteading remained possible well into the 20th Century, but there's a reason no one ever claimed a lot of that land.

  • NASA photo captures strange bright light coming out of Mars

    04/08/2014 1:15:18 PM PDT · 63 of 98
    Bubba Ho-Tep to certrtwngnut

    2X2L calling CQ . . . 2X2L calling CQ . . . 2X2L calling CQ . . . New York. Isn’t there anyone on the air? Isn’t there anyone on the air? Isn’t there anyone . . . 2X2L —

  • NASA photo captures strange bright light coming out of Mars

    04/08/2014 11:42:50 AM PDT · 37 of 98
    Bubba Ho-Tep to Bubba Ho-Tep

    PHILLIPS: Just a minute! Something’s happening! Ladies and gentlemen, this is terrific! This end of the thing is beginning to flake off! The top is beginning to rotate like a screw! The thing must be hollow!

    VOICES: She’s movin’! Look, the darn thing’s unscrewing! Keep back, there! Keep back, I tell you! Maybe there’s men in it trying to escape! It’s red hot, they’ll burn to a cinder! Keep back there. Keep those idiots back!


    VOICES: She’s off! The top’s loose! Look out there! Stand back!

    PHILLIPS: Ladies and gentlemen, this is the most terrifying thing I have ever witnessed . . . Wait a minute! Someone’s crawling out of the hollow top. Someone or . . . something. I can see peering out of that black hole two luminous disks . . are they eyes? It might be a face. It might be . . .


    PHILLIPS: Good heavens, something’s wriggling out of the shadow like a gray snake. Now it’s another one, and another. They look like tentacles to me. There, I can see the thing’s body. It’s large, large as a bear and it glistens like wet leather. But that face, it . . . Ladies and gentlemen, it’s indescribable. I can hardly force myself to keep looking at it. The eyes are black and gleam like a serpent. The mouth is V-shaped with saliva dripping from its rimless lips that seem to quiver and pulsate. The monster or whatever it is can hardly move. It seems weighed down by . . . possibly gravity or something. The thing’s raising up. The crowd falls back now. They’ve seen plenty. This is the most extraordinary experience. I can’t find words . . . I’ll pull this microphone with me as I talk. I’ll have to stop the description until I can take a new position. Hold on, will you please, I’ll be right back in a minute.


    ANNOUNCER: We are bringing you an eyewitness account of what’s happening on the Wilmuth farm, Grovers Mill, New Jersey. (MORE PIANO) We now return you to Carl Phillips at Grovers Mill.

    PHILLIPS: Ladies and gentlemen (Am I on?). Ladies and gentlemen, here I am, back of a stone wall that adjoins Mr. Wilmuth’s garden. From here I get a sweep of the whole scene. I’ll give you every detail as long as I can talk. As long as I can see. More state police have arrived They’re drawing up a cordon in front of the pit, about thirty of them. No need to push the crowd back now. They’re willing to keep their distance. The captain is conferring with someone. We can’t quite see who. Oh yes, I believe it’s Professor Pierson. Yes, it is. Now they’ve parted. The Professor moves around one side, studying the object, while the captain and two policemen advance with something in their hands. I can see it now. It’s a white handkerchief tied to a pole . . . a flag of truce. If those creatures know what that means . . . what anything means!. . . Wait! Something’s happening!


    PHILLIPS: A humped shape is rising out of the pit. I can make out a small beam of light against a mirror. What’s that? There’s a jet of flame springing from the mirror, and it leaps right at the advancing men. It strikes them head on! Good Lord, they’re turning into flame!


    PHILLIPS: Now the whole field’s caught fire. (EXPLOSION) The woods . . . the barns . . . the gas tanks of automobiles . . . it’s spreading everywhere. It’s coming this way. About twenty yards to my right . . .


    ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen, due to circumstances beyond our control, we are unable to continue the broadcast from Grovers Mill. Evidently there’s some difficulty with our field transmission. However, we will return to that point at the earliest opportunity. In the meantime, we have a late bulletin from San Diego, California. Professor Indellkoffer, speaking at a dinner of the California Astronomical Society, expressed the opinion that the explosions on Mars are undoubtedly nothing more than severe volcanic disturbances on the surface of the planet. We now continue with our piano interlude.

    (PIANO . . . THEN CUT)

    ANNOUNCER TWO: Ladies and gentlemen, I have just been handed a message that came in from Grovers Mill by telephone. Just a moment. At least forty people, including six state troopers lie dead in a field east of the village of Grovers Mill, their bodies burned and distorted beyond all possible recognition. The next voice you hear will be that of Brigadier General Montgomery Smith, commander of the state militia at Trenton, New Jersey.

  • NASA photo captures strange bright light coming out of Mars

    04/08/2014 11:41:15 AM PDT · 35 of 98
    Bubba Ho-Tep to Bubba Ho-Tep

    PHILLIPS: Ladies and gentlemen, you’ve just heard Mr. Wilmuth, owner of the farm where this thing has fallen. I wish I could convey the atmosphere . . . the background of this . . . fantastic scene. Hundreds of cars are parked in a field in back of us. Police are trying to rope off the roadway leading to the farm. But it’s no use. They’re breaking right through. Cars’ headlights throw an enormous spot on the pit where the object’s half buried. Some of the more daring souls are now venturing near the edge. Their silhouettes stand out against the metal sheen.

    One man wants to touch the thing . . . he’s having an argument with a policeman. The policeman wins. . . . Now, ladies and gentlemen, there’s something I haven’t mentioned in all this excitement, but now it’s becoming more distinct. Perhaps you’ve caught it already on your radio. Listen:

    (LONG PAUSE) . . .

    Do you hear it? It’s a curious humming sound that seems to come from inside the object. I’ll move the microphone nearer. (PAUSE) Now we’re not more then twenty-five feet away. Can you hear it now? Oh, Professor Pierson!

    PIERSON: Yes, Mr. Phillips?

    PHILLIPS: Can you tell us the meaning of that scraping noise inside the thing?

    PIERSON: Possibly the unequal cooling of its surface.