You may have already seen this, but it turns out you were right all along:
‘Not Surprising The Obama White House Manufactured The Netanyahu Speech To Congress Controversy
Posted on February 6, 2015 by sundance
Essentially the crux of the back-story is that Netanyahu contacted the White House about the invitation to talk to congress, prior to accepting the invitation; the White House never contacted Netanyahu back.
Absent of the White House responding, and out of an abundance of caution to appearances, Netanyahu accepted the invitation. Then whammo, the White House claims President Obama was disparaged. It would appear the White House set up the narrative intentionally. ‘