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Articles Posted by punster

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  • Crossing a River

    11/18/2007 10:03:44 AM PST · by punster · 47 replies · 57+ views
    Unknown | Unknown | Unknown
    Three men were hiking through a forest when they came upon a large raging, violent river. Needing to get to the other side, the first man prayed: "God, please give me the strength to cross the river." Poof! ... God gave him big arms and strong legs and he was able to swim across in about 2 hours, having almost drowned twice. After witnessing that, the second man prayed: "God, please give me strength and the tools to cross the river" Poof! ... God gave him a rowboat and strong arms and strong legs and he was able to row...
  • Funny Story

    10/14/2007 10:35:02 AM PDT · by punster · 9 replies · 26+ views
    Internet ^ | unknown | Unknown
    The Alabama preacher said to his Congregation, "Someone in this congregation has spread a rumor that I belong to the Ku Klux Klan. This is a horrible lie and one which a Christian community cannot tolerate. I am embarrassed and do not intend to accept this. Now, I want the party who did this to stand and ask forgiveness from God and this Christian family."No one moved.The preacher continued, "Do you have the nerve to face me and admit this is a falsehood? Remember, you will be forgiven and in your heart you will feel glory. Now stand and confess...
  • Creation

    02/24/2007 11:08:15 PM PST · by punster · 25 replies · 799+ views
    Internet | Unknown | Unknown
    God created the Universe and the Earth. God created Eve. Eve was unhappy, because she was lonely. God told Eve, “I will create a companion for you, a man. He is far from perfect. Man is very egotistical, lazy, and even slovenly in his personal grooming. However, Man has a strong back and will be helpful in carrying burdens. Eve was not thrilled about this. God remonstrated with her, telling her, “It’s better than a sharp stick in the eye.” God then told Eve, “I will let you have Man, but you must allow him to believe I created him...
  • Pastor indicted in rape case

    09/17/2006 9:18:03 AM PDT · by punster · 53 replies · 1,319+ views
    Dallas-Fort Worth Star-Telegram ^ | August 30, 2006 | MELODY McDONALD
    Pastor indicted in rape case By MELODY McDONALD STAR-TELEGRAM STAFF WRITER FORT WORTH -- A 63-year-old pastor accused of raping a church member last year during a ceremony to cast out demons has been indicted by a Tarrant County grand jury. Leonard Ray Owens, who is free on $25,000 bail, is now awaiting trial on a charge of sexual assault -- a second-degree felony punishable by two to 20 years in prison. Police have said that they began investigating Owens last year after a 22-year-old woman reported that Owens raped her on two occasions at his Fort Worth home. The...
  • Pat Robertson Redux

    02/02/2006 10:43:38 PM PST · by punster · 31 replies · 986+ views
    Forbes Magazine ^ | February 2, 2006 | James Brady
    NEW YORK - Each time the Rev. Pat Robertson mounts the considerable pulpit of his daily TV variety show, The 700 Club, to announce that God is about to punish someone with whom Robertson disagrees, old Marines ask, "Can you believe he’s shooting off his mouth again?" These are usually Marine officers of Korean War vintage who served with Pat half a century ago when we were all young lieutenants heading to the wars. They know the Rev and are not at all reluctant to comment,... I can assure his friends that Pat hasn't flipped out or is suddenly feeling...
  • A Funny Story

    08/17/2005 10:29:14 PM PDT · by punster · 7 replies · 1,146+ views
    The Web | unknown | unknown
    A Rabbi, a Hindu and a Television Evangelist were driving late at night in the country when their car conked out. They set out to find help and came to a farmhouse. When they knocked at the door, the farmer explained that he had only two beds, and one of the three had to sleep in the barn with the animals. The three quickly agreed. The Rabbi said he would sleep in the barn and let the other two have the beds. Ten minutes after the Rabbi left, there was a knock on the bedroom door. The Rabbi entered exclaiming,...
  • A Funny Joke

    07/15/2005 9:42:26 PM PDT · by punster · 26 replies · 2,495+ views
    The Web | Unknown | Anonymous
    This is a really funny joke that has been going around. The Jewish man comes to see the rabbi. He is really frantic, he wails, "Rabbi! Rabbi! I don't know what my son is going to become. He doesn't seem to be interested in anything!" The rabbi listens to the man's tale of woe. Finally, he says, "When you go home tonight, put a Torah, a hundred dollar bill, and a bottle of whiskey on the table. Observe what your son does. If your son picks up the Torah, he will become a noted rabbi. If your son picks up...
  • Thermodynamics of Hell

    04/10/2005 6:50:24 PM PDT · by punster · 11 replies · 2,123+ views
    Various Locations On the Internet | Unknown | Anonymous
    Is Hell Exothermic or Endothermic? A thermodynamics professor gave his graduate students a take home exam. It had one question: "Is hell exothermic or endothermic? Support your answer with a proof." Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law or some variant to show either that hell was exothermic (generating heat faster than it is lost, resulting in a buildup of heat) or endothermic (generating heat slower than it is lost, resulting in a loss of heat). One student, however, wrote the following: First we must postulate that if souls exist, then they must have some...
  • The John Kerry Vocabulary Game

    10/17/2004 7:46:02 PM PDT · by punster · 233 replies · 3,384+ views
    Aelf | 10/17/2004 | punster
    I had a fun idea: We could have a game coming up with words and phrases to describe John Kerry. The game starts with someone posting a word that starts with "A". Then, someone will follow with a word starting with "B", and so on. When we reach "Z", we will start again with new words. When we start the next cycle, post the list of the previous words used for that letter, so that we will not repeat. The usual warning about profanities applies, do not spell them out completely. I hope it is an interesting exercise
  • Automatic Complaint Letter Generator on John Kerry

    10/10/2004 5:58:18 PM PDT · by punster · 9 replies · 1,073+ views
    Pakin.org ^ | 10/10/2004 | Scott Pakin
    To all readers: This is not a tickle-your-ears, politically correct letter. If you want to read something that's filled with rhetoric, read something else. If you want the truth, then read this letter. Let's start with my claim that the first response to this from Sen. John Kerry's associates is perhaps that Kerry is always being misrepresented and/or persecuted. Wrong. Just glance at the facts: Whenever anyone states the obvious -- that Kerry's warnings run contrary to even the most cursory observation of the real world -- discussion naturally progresses towards the question, "Why doesn't Kerry reveal the truth about...
  • TO KNOW HIM IS TO LOATHE HIM: A tribute to John 'Gigolo' Kerry

    02/11/2004 6:59:00 PM PST · by punster · 6 replies · 150+ views
    N/A | Self
    To know, know, know him is to loathe, loathe, loathe him Just to see him smirk, makes me sick To know, know, know him is to loathe, loathe, loathe him And I do I'll be duped by him, I'll bring loathing to him Everyone says there'll come a day when I'll walk away from him Yes, just to know him is to loathe, loathe, loathe him And I do Why can't he see, how blind can he be Someday he'll see that he was mean to me To know, know, know him is to loathe, loathe, loathe him Just to...
  • 48 Hours in the California Legislative System (A Descent into Madness

    05/03/2003 10:21:56 AM PDT · by punster · 16 replies · 335+ views
    Keep and Bear Arms ^ | May 3, 2003 | Michael Marks
    KeepAndBearArms.com -- Stereotypes are a common part of American culture. Often as not they are based on a grain of truth wrapped in a mile of exaggeration. While most of us enjoy a good laugh at the wacky world of California politics, a rational man might think that accounts of strange thinking on the Left Coast, like any good bass fishing story, were a little larger than life. After spending two days in the halls of California state government in Sacramento, it is apparent that the inmates are running the asylum. California is struggling with the biggest budget crisis in...
  • Epidemic in African Baboons

    05/03/2003 8:15:10 AM PDT · by punster · 20 replies · 248+ views
    New Scientist ^ | 02 May 03 | NewScientist.com news service
    A horrific venereal disease is preying on baboons in eastern Africa. An estimated 200 animals have been infected and scientists are scrambling to identify the mystery microbe that is attacking them.
  • Steven Brill: Hillary Fabricated 9/11 Records

    04/20/2003 5:54:21 PM PDT · by punster · 144 replies · 435+ views
    NEWSMAX ^ | April 20, 2003 | Steven Brill
    New York Sen. Hillary Clinton had her staff fabricate records of meetings and phone calls to familles of victims of the Sept. 11 attacks to burnish her image as New York's leading politician on 9/11 issues, the author of a new book on how U.S. officials dealt with the aftermath of the attacks charged Sunday.
  • Run, Hillary, run!

    01/06/2003 9:11:42 PM PST · by punster · 28 replies · 311+ views
    WorldNetDaily.com ^ | January 6, 2003 | Doug Powers
    Run, Hillary, run! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Posted: January 6, 2003 1:00 a.m. Eastern © 2003 WorldNetDaily.com If Hillary Clinton decides to seek her party's nomination to run for president, like it or not, she will be the nominee. People often run in fear and loathing at the mere mention of the name of the woman whose personality warms and comforts them like a handful of refrigerated ball bearings down their pants, but let's face it: If you're a Republican, this is great news. The nomination of Hillary Clinton would be the best thing the Democrats have done for this country since recommending...
  • A Picture of Dick Gephardt

    09/08/2001 4:23:48 PM PDT · by punster · 29 replies · 5+ views
    Internet ^ | Unknown | Unknown
  • My complaint about Sen. Hillary Rotten Clinton

    08/05/2001 2:11:38 PM PDT · by punster · 659+ views
    Scott Pakin's automatic complaint-letter generator ^ | Aug 4, 2001 | Complaint Generator
    I myself undeniably can't let Sen. Hillary Rotten Clinton's misinformation and misguided arguments about snobbism go by without comment. Some background is in order: I suppose it's predictable, though terribly sad, that coldhearted schemers with stronger voices than minds would revert to sappy behavior. But I must part company with many of my peers when it comes to understanding why I don't think it would be unfair to say that Sen. Clinton lives and breathes Maoism. My peers suspect that Sen. Clinton could use a heavy dose of sensitivity training. While this is doubtlessly true, I believe we must add ...
  • Greenpeace vs. our national security

    06/09/2001 11:24:22 PM PDT · by punster · 5+ views
    Worldnet daily ^ | June 9, 2001 | Gordon Prather
    WorldNetDaily: Greenpeace vs. our national security                                 SATURDAY JUNE 9 2001                   Page 1 News   Page 2 News   LocalNetDaily   Commentary   Cartoons   Letters   TalkNetDaily   Sports   HealthNetDaily   Weather   TV Guide   Movies   TravelNetDaily   Business   Stocks   ShopNetDaily     Greenpeace vs. our national security © 2001 WorldNetDaily.com Greenpeace and fellow eco-wackos were dancing in the streets in Washington, D.C., this week about what they perceived to be the bleak future for nuclear power. Meanwhile, their comrades in Moscow, who had a much different ...
  • Barbra Streisand is a Fruitcake

    04/08/2001 12:51:24 PM PDT · by punster · 18+ views
    Opinion Journal ^ | April 6, 2001 | Christopher Buckley
    Yenta Barbra Streisand's other letters. BY CHRISTOPHER BUCKLEY Friday, April 6, 2001 12:01 a.m. EDT Barbra Streisand has sent a three-page memo to top congressional Democrats, accusing them of being "paralyzed, demoralized and depressed" since the election, Ms. Streisand's publicist confirms. "We have a President who stole the presidency through family ties, arrogance and intimidation, employing Republican operatives to exercise the tactics of voter fraud by disenfranchising thousands of blacks, elderly Jews and other minorities," the singer-actress charges. "I hope you're through arguing among yourselves and distancing yourselves from President Clinton." Yesterday Ms. Streisand's publicist also confirmed she had dispatched ...
  • More Proof Gun Control Doesn't Work

    03/05/2001 8:59:12 PM PST · by punster · 15+ views
    Almance Independent ^ | ? | Matt Maggio
    Alamance Independent, Alternative News, Alamance County, Burlington, Graham, North Carolina, News              WWW.ALAMANCEIND.COM Matt Maggio, Publisher & Editor Email Antigun nuts in the U.S. harangue Americans about how "safe" western Europe supposedly is - thanks to gun control. But how "safe" really is western Europe? Last July, the State Department issued an updated travel advisory on France. Early in it, the State Department prominently warned that "in recent years, France has experienced closely targeted political assassinations and random bombings." As the traveler's advisory warns, these random bombings have forced France to heavily police public ...