Free Republic

You know you’re a redneck when . . .

01. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.
02. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter.
03. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
04. You burn your yard rather than mow it.
05. You think ‘The Nutcracker’ is a vice on the work bench
06. The Salvation Army declines your furniture.
07. You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don’t want it.
08. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.
09. You come back from the dump with more than you took.
10. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.
11. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
12. Your grandmother has ‘ammo’ on her Christmas list.
13. You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.
14. You’ve been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.
15. You go to the stock car races and don’t need a program.
16. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.
17. You have a rag for a gas cap.
18. Your house doesn’t have curtains, but your truck does.
19. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean?
20. You can spit without opening your mouth.
21. You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it.
22. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
23. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say ‘Cool Whip’ on the side.
24. The biggest city you’ve ever been to is Wal-Mart.
25. Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV
26. You’ve used your ironing board as a buffet table.
27. A tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 worth of improvements.
28. You’ve used a toilet brush to scratch your back.
29. You missed your 5th grade graduation because you were on jury duty.
30. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65 mph.

What money?

What about - no new programs until the federal budget is balanced?

Sounds like the beginning of bigamy as being legal. Several wives and a father with only one wife the birth mother.

An elderly gentleman of 85 feared his wife was getting hard of hearing.

So one day he called her doctor to make an appointment to have her hearing checked. The Doctor made an appointment for a hearing test in two weeks, and meanwhile there’s a simple informal test the husband could do to give the doctor some idea of the state of her problem.

‘Here’s what you do,” said the doctor, “start out about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears
you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response.”

That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he’s in the living room. He says to himself, “I’m about 40 feet away, let’s see what happens.”

Then in a normal tone he asks, ‘Honey, what’s for supper?” No response.

So the husband moved to the other end of the room, about 30 feet from his wife and repeats, “Honey, what’s for supper?” Still no response.

Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his wife and asks, “Honey, what’s for supper?” Again he gets no response.

So he walks up to> the kitchen door, only 10 feet away. “Honey, what’s for supper?” Again there is no response.

So he walks right up behind her. “Honey, what’s for supper?”

(I just love this!)

“Damn it Earl, for the fifth time, CHICKEN!”

It would be interesting to track the net worth of those in Congress - from their first day in office to about 2 years after they leave office. I believe that deals are made with ‘stuff’ coming due after they leave office.

Probably not realistic, given Hollywood politics, but this entire event deserves a movie - possibly a keystone cops sorta thing, but serious since at the end people die.

I guess no matter what resources our government has, someone needs to make a decision for use and when that doesn’t happen, gather around the wagons and cover all butts all the way to the top.

Allowing this to happen will doom the Scout program.

I just don’t get it - he’s preaching to the believers, so how on earth does all the expense, etc. for travel, etc. gain him converts to his plan?

Doesn’t he have other things to do?

On the other hand, perhaps this effort has a silver lining in that he’s not doing other things that may cause even more trouble coming our way.

Very Cool!

Here’s one...

The audio is of Paul Harvey explaining how he would destroy us [America] if he were Satan…

“If I were the devil, I wouldn’t be happy until I had seized the ripest apple on the tree—Thee. So I’d set about however necessary to take over the United States. I’d subvert the churches first—I would begin with a campaign of whispers. With the wisdom of a serpent, I would whisper to you as I whispered to Eve: “Do as you please.” “Do as you please.” To the young, I would whisper, “The Bible is a myth.” I would convince them that man created God instead of the other way around. I would confide that what is bad is good, and what is good is “square”. And the old, I would teach to pray. I would teach them to pray after me, ‘Our Father, which art in Washington…’

And then I’d get organized. I’d educate authors on how to lurid literature exciting, so that anything else would appear dull and uninteresting. I’d threaten TV with dirtier movies and vice versa. I’d pedal narcotics to whom I could. I’d sell alcohol to ladies and gentlemen of distinction. I’d tranquilize the rest with pills.

If I were the devil I’d soon have families that war with themselves, churches that war that themselves, and nations that war with themselves; until each in its turn was consumed. And with promises of higher ratings I’d have mesmerizing media fanning the flame. If I were the devil I would encourage schools to refine young intellects, and neglect to discipline emotions—just let those run wild, until before you knew it, you’d have to have drug sniffing dogs and metal detectors at every schoolhouse door.

Within a decade I’d have prisons overflowing, I’d have judges promoting pornography—soon I could evict God from the courthouse, and then the schoolhouse, and then from the houses of Congress. And in His own churches I would substitute psychology for religion, and deify science. I would lure priests and pastors into misusing boys and girls, and church money. If I were the devil I’d make the symbols of Easter an egg and the symbol of Christmas a bottle.

If I were the devil I’d take from those, and who have, and give to those wanted until I had killed the incentive of the ambitious. What do you bet I could get whole states to promote gambling as the way to get rich? I would question against extremes and hard work, and Patriotism, and moral conduct. I would convince the young that marriage is old-fashioned, that swinging more fun, that what you see on the TV is the way to be. And thus I could undress you in public, and I could lure you into bed with diseases for which there is no cure. In other words, if I were to devil I’d keep on doing on what he’s doing. Paul Harvey, good day.”

I'm thinking he's a Powell-wing Republican.

All true. Actually, Hanity can readily counter democrat talking points - he need to have some demobulbs on that are not totally stupid, even Colmes would be a good regular guest, but not every night. Most of his guest, or contributors are like preaching to the choir types - with the few demobulbs mind numbingly stupid and unable to digress from talking points. It’s just boring at this point.

It is excellent, although Hannity seems like a broken record - constantly repeating himself, sort of a one trick pony - I’m finding him hard to watch and often don’t.

It’s so absolutely clear that the ban proposal is just a first step this time around. If the government is allowed to take away constitutional rights based on activities of a few crazy people there will be no end to what will come down the road. Driving cars and trucks, eating fatty foods, knifes, axes, chain saws, wood chippers, fists, blunt objects, etc. all kill people.

Of course, smoking hasn’t actually been banned it’s just being taxed to death - actually a penalty not a tax when compared to the small tax on ObamaCare if one doesn’t sign up. Come to think of it - the high tax on smoking is unconstitutional since it’s really a penalty.

Excellent, he’s so irritating.

Is she a B—— or what?

Wouldn’t the NFL have in place an ironclad contract that all players would sign that exempts the NFL from this type of lawsuit? Professional Football is dangerous, at best with 300+ pound players looking to bring you down hard.

Next, boxing?