It was a monumental day at Lakehurst Country Club. President Obama, known for being up to three hours late for Cabinet meetings, Congressional talks, and meetings with leaders of traditional US allies such as Great Britain, France, Israel, and Poland, arrived just short of three hours early for his scheduled tee time of 9am. "I was in awe when he picked me to be his caddy," stammered Petey Sampson, a former drive-thru clerk at McDonalds. "He told me it was because of my tee shirt, which he actually signed. I've decided to never wash it again," Sampson added as he...