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Chimpanzees enter into "deals" whereby they exchange meat for sex, according to researchers. Male chimps that are willing to share the proceeds of their hunting expeditions mate twice as often as their more selfish counterparts.

Making sure your offspring know how to clean their teeth appears to be as important to monkeys as to humans. Female monkeys in Thailand have been observed showing their young how to floss their teeth - using human hair. Researchers from Japan said they watched seven long-tailed macaques cleaning the spaces between their teeth in the same manner as humans. They spent double the amount of time flossing when they were being watched by their infants, the team said. This suggests the mothers were deliberately teaching their young how to floss, Professor Nobuo Masataka of Kyoto University's Primate Research Institute...

A male chimpanzee in a Swedish zoo planned hundreds of stone-throwing attacks on zoo visitors, according to researchers. Keepers at Furuvik Zoo found that the chimp collected and stored stones that he would later use as missiles. Further, the chimp learned to recognise how and when parts of his concrete enclosure could be pulled apart to fashion further projectiles. The findings are reported in the journal Current Biology. There has been scant evidence in previous research that animals can plan for future events.

This whole controversy over the tragic incident involving Travis the chimpanzee has restored my faith in my fellow Americans. My faith that they're really dumb, I mean. Democrat or Republican, rural or urban, Americans are ignorant of the most basic facts of their own existence.

The NAACP has called for a boycott of the New York Post. In other words, they’ve endorsed censorship. In a truly bizarre distortion of reality, the organization called the Post’s infamous chimpanzee cartoon “an invitation to assassinate” President Obama. Benjamin Todd Jealous, the aptly-named president of the NAACP, called for...

A third apology may not be enough. Chimpgate continues, though Rupert Murdoch himself has offered a mea culpa..

Forget the stimulus -- this one moved really fast. From the Humane Society: U.S. House of Representatives Passes Captive Primate Safety Act WASHINGTON (Feb. 24, 2009) — Eight days after a chimpanzee kept as a pet attacked and critically injured a Connecticut woman, the U.S. House of Representatives passed the Captive Primate Safety Act, H.R. 80, introduced by U.S. Reps. Earl Blumenauer, D-Ore., and Mark Kirk, R-Ill., to stop interstate commerce in primates as pets. The bill passed by a vote of 323 to 95. The bill now moves for consideration to the U.S. Senate, where the effort to pass...

It's not over yet. Public interpretation of gunned down chimp cartoon goes into phase 2, Rev. Sharpton included.

STAMFORD, Connecticut — Doctors say a Connecticut woman mauled by a 200-pound chimpanzee is making slight progress after more than seven hours of surgery by four teams of surgeons. Dr. Kevin Miller of Stamford Hospital says 55-year-old Charla Nash suffered extensive facial and hand injuries when she was attacked Monday. He says stabilizing her condition took more than seven hours of surgery.

(Must see images of Google News search)(IHateTheMedia.com Exclusive) We’re professional cynics at IHateTheMedia.com. We’re trained to expect the worst from the media. With that in mind, it seemed to us that the media had paid far more attention to the trivial story of Connecticut’s murderous monkey than the lightning rod story of Buffalo’s beheaded Muslim wife. Is it possible, we wondered, that the media would intentionally ignore the kind of shocking crime story they normally love, simply because focusing on a murderous Muslim is politically incorrect in the land of liberal news? So we performed a simple experiment. We searched...

A bill pending in Congress that would ban selling primates as pets must be passed to rectify a patchwork of state and local laws that leave many people at risk of being attacked by exotic animals like chimpanzees, animal experts and lawmakers told FOXNews.com. Police shot and killed a 200-pound chimpanzee in Connecticut Monday after it attacked a 55-year-old woman, leaving her in critical condition with major, "life-altering" injuries to her face and hands.

Could Cheeta the chimp, the famous performing primate who's said to have starred alongside Johnny Weissmuller in the Tarzan films and Rex Harrison in Dr. Doolittle, be an impostor?It's a story whose plot resembles a 1930s screwball comedy, but author R.D. Rosen says it's true: Cheeta the chimp, said to be the oldest nonhuman primate in the world at 76, is not who he claims to be. (Or rather, he's not who his deceased trainer, Tony Gentry, claimed he was.) In 2007, Rosen set out to write a book about Cheeta: his abduction from the wilds of his native Liberia;...

Riddle me this: the New York Post, a famously combative, conservative newspaper owned by Fox News proprietor Rupert Murdoch, runs a cartoon implying that a crazed chimpanzee wrote the recent economic stimulus bill, which was actually championed and developed by our nation's first black president.Longtime civil rights activist Al Sharpton thinks it might be. New York Gov. David Paterson, who is that state's first black chief executive, has said "an explanation is in order."

Here is the chilling 911 audio of the call made by a woman whose chimpanzee attacked her friend and brutally disfigured her. The woman is in critical condition. The tape has the hysterical owner asking for help in shooting her chimp to keep him from attacking her too. The owner said she had tried stabbing the chimp but that it had only made it worse. The attack occurred in Connecticut. Absolutely horrific. . . . . (Listen to 911 Tape)

A pet chimpanzee - who had appeared in TV commercials and shows - got loose at a home at 241 Rock Rimmon Road in Stamford, Connecticut Monday afternoon, according to Stamford police. And it was not his first time. His owner, Sandra Herold, 70, had called a friend over to help since "Travis" was misbehaving. He had taken the keys to the car. The chimp was also trying to open car doors, which he apparently did to indicate he wanted to go for a ride. Herold was able to coax Travis back to the house and she gave him some...

Escaped chimpanzee Travis is coaxed into a waiting sport utility vehicle in downtown Stamford, Conn. in 2003. A tame chimp was shot and killed by Stamford cops Monday after the ape badly mauled a friend of its owner. Witnesses said Travis, a normally docile 200-pound chimp, attacked a woman, forcing his owner to go after him with a butcher's knife.When cops drove up, the chimp tore off the cruiser's side mirror and tried to open the door.Police then shot and killed him, WABC-TV reported. The victim was said to be in critical condition. Travis, a 16-year-old who liked to drink...

STAMFORD -- A woman whose 175-pound chimpanzee attacked her friend Monday afternoon tried to stop the attack by stabbing the primate with a butcher knife, police said. As police arrived to clear the way for emergency medical workers to treat the gravely injured friend, the chimp, Travis, revived and opened the door of the police cruiser. The officer inside fired several shots, killing the chimp. Travis' owner, Sandra Herold, and two officers also were hurt, though the extent of their injuries is unknown, police said. Travis was known around Stamford for years because he rode around in trucks belonging to...

According to Darwinian theory, in the past we had a common ancestor with baboons, further back with bananas and still further with bacteria. This dogma has spread like a ‘meme’, which is a contagious idea that propagates in a similar way as a virus by infecting brains, according to inventor of the word, Richard Dawkins.1 In 2002, Roy Britten dispelled the first monkey meme that human and chimpanzee DNA sequences are 98.5% identical.2 He showed that when indelmutations were also taken into account, the difference suddenly became about 5%. The fact that chimpanzee genomes are about 10% larger than that...

Genetic Expression: Same Genes Can Produce Different Results by Brian Thomas, M.S.* Genes could be thought of as brick molds, used to construct materials for building the physical structures of living organisms. They carry the codes to help make proteins, which then make up different cells that are combined together to form mega-structures called tissues. New research has shed more light on how genes are used by cells to build the different tissues needed by complex living creatures. Genes—which make up a very small fraction of DNA—were thought to be the central genetic features that drive cell function and embryonic...

A type of chimpanzee known to use sex for greetings, reconciliations, and favors may not be all about peace, love, and understanding after all. A new study reveals that some bonobos—one of humankind's closest genetic relatives—hunt and eat other primates. Groups of the endangered chimpanzee subspecies were observed stalking, chasing, and killing monkeys they later consumed. Scientists have long known from stool samples that some bonobos eat rodents and small antelopes in their natural forest habitats in the Democratic Republic of Congo (DRC), but many researchers thought this was the extent of their hunting activities. Gottfried Hohmann and Martin Surbeck,...