Free Republic

North Pole—In a stunning revelation, a new CNN poll revealed that elves overwhelmingly support government run healthcare. The results showed that 88% of workers gave the public option a big thumbs up while 10% were opposed to the public option, leaving 2% undecided. The problem, according to the U.T.W. (United Toy Workers), was that benefits had been slashed because of a recessing economy. The U.T. W. feels that Santa has been less than forgiving when it comes to their Constitutional right to healthcare, saying that “he better step up to the plate or a lot of kids are going to...

ANCHORAGE, Alaska - Starry-eyed children writing letters to the jolly man at the North Pole this holiday season likely won't get a response from Santa Claus or his helpers. The U.S. Postal Service is dropping a popular national program begun in 1954 in the small Alaska town of North Pole, where volunteers open and respond to thousands of letters addressed to Santa each year. Replies come with North Pole postmarks. Last year, a postal worker in Maryland recognized an Operation Santa volunteer there as a registered sex offender.

<p>Bess writes: Surely Icelanders don't believe in Elves? It's a matter of earnest debate on the New York Mag where John Moody, who lives in Iceland responds to this Vanity Fair article on the country's financial meltdown. The debate centres on this VF claim that Alcoa, Iceland's largest aluminium company had to "defer to a government expert" in 2004 while scouring a potential site for a smelting plant to "certify that no elves were on or under it." The writer, Michael Lewis reports "It was a delicate corporate situation, an Alcoa spokesman told me, because they had to pay hard cash to declare the site elf-free but, as he put it, “we couldn’t as a company be in a position of acknowledging the existence of hidden people.”</p>

An article on Iceland's de facto bankruptcy in the April issue of Vanity Fair notes that a "large number of Icelanders" believe in elves or "hidden people." This widespread folklore occasionally disrupts business in the sparsely populated North Atlantic country. Before the aluminum company Alcoa could erect a smelting factory, "it had to defer to a government expert to scour the enclosed plant site and certify that no elves were on or under it." How do you find an elf? With psychic powers. According to a poll conducted in 2007, 54 percent of Icelanders don't deny the existence of elves...

PALOMINAS — Tis the season for giving, and students of Palominas Elementary School have taken that giving spirit to heart. The children have been gathering donations of pet food and supplies for dogs and cats housed in the Bisbee Animal Shelter. Organized by first-grade teacher Hope Geminder, students in her class have been the project’s primary contributors. The first-graders have collected dog and cat food, treats and toys, along with a few horse-related items. “This is the second time I’ve organized a pet food drive,” Geminder said on Wednesday as students loaded the donated items into her car. “Most of...

Smack Will Ferrell as "Buddy the Elf" with a snowball.

WASHINGTON, Dec. 13, 2007 – Santa’s USO elves will be checking their list twice this weekend to ensure they’re ready to host about 2,000 troops slated to transit through Baltimore-Washington International Thurgood Marshall Airport before catching flights home to their families and loved ones. The elves – actually volunteers from United Service Organizations of Metropolitan Washington – will work through the night Dec. 15 to prepare for a mass holiday exodus to begin at the suburban Maryland airport at 6 the following morning. As some 1,800 soldiers attending advanced individual training at nearby Aberdeen Proving Ground, Md., await their flights,...

MANILA, Philippines -- As a trial-court judge, Florentino V. Floro Jr. acknowledged that he regularly sought the counsel of three elves only he could see. The Supreme Court deemed him unfit to serve and fired him last year. Case closed? Not in the Philippines, where vampires are said to prey on unwary travelers and wealthy politicians consult fortune tellers and card readers. Mr. Floro, 54 years old, has become a media celebrity. He is now wielding his new clout to campaign for the return of his job -- and exact vengeance on the Supreme Court. Helping him, he says, are...

ICE Agents Arrest Jolly Fat Man in Red Suit Attempting to Enter the U.S. Illegally. AXcess News) Reno, NV - Based on U.S. Department of Homeland Security rules, a bearded jolly fat man in a red suit going by the alias St. Nick was captured by ICE agents while attempting to enter the United States illegally after DHS profiling matched the description of Mr. Nicholas as a possible terrorist threat. "Mr. Nicholas doesn't possess a recognized passport and therefore the Department views him a possible threat to the United States," a spokesperson for the DHS said. Nicholas, who says he...

Is there an anti-elvian prejudice afoot in the land? According to the DUmmies there is and I can't say I disagree with them. I mean how seriously can you take somebody who looks like a tiny elf? Even Kucinich's former press secretary (William Rivers Pitt) secretly mocked him by sending insider info on the 2004 Kucinich presidential primary campaign to the Kerry campaign in a desperate bid to ingratiate himself with the latter until the Elf discovered the betrayal and fired Pitt. Of course, if an elf cannot be elected president, does that also close the White House doors...

You don't have to take anyone else's word for it - you can use the Random Mutation Generator to find out for yourself how Darwinian evolution really works. Your Mission, should you choose to accept it, is to type a sentence into the Random Mutation Generator

In these last days, the Bible says it will be a time of mass hybridization and the mixture and corruption of human DNA by fallen angels, also known as "Aliens." The government is and has been, conditioning the existence of aliens through Hollywood, science fiction, cartoons, and other sources. However, they are not telling you the whole truth. These Aliens are not ascended masters, or enlightened ones, or beings from galaxies millions of miles away, nor are they our forefathers or original creators. They are fallen angels who were kicked out of heaven for their rebellion against the headship...

The Gospel of Judas" is a long-lost bit of Gnostic apocrypha. Now that archeologists have found a copy, the media is abuzz with speculation that this ancient document will shed new light on or even change Christianity. According to "The Gospel of Judas," Jesus tells Judas to betray Him. This will enable Jesus' spirit to escape from its fleshly container. Jesus also is said to call Judas the only disciple who truly understands His message. Much of the rest of the "gospel" is just disembodied dialogue about "spirit" as opposed to matter, in sharp contrast to the historically detailed Gospels...

<p>Free Republic made its debut in September, 1996, and the forum was added in early 1997.   Over 100,000 people have registered for posting privileges on Free Republic, and the forum is read daily by tens of thousands of concerned citizens and patriots from all around the country and the world.</p>

HARTFORD, Conn. --A constitutional battle is brewing over a holiday beer that state officials are trying to ban because they say its label might entice children to drink. The state believes it would be really awful for kids to see the label on the British import Seriously Bad Elf. It shows a mean-looking elf with a slingshot firing Christmas ornaments at Santa's sleigh as it flies overhead. State liquor regulations bar alcohol advertising with images that might appeal to children. The regulations specifically mention Santa. "There are certain symbols and images that appeal more strongly to children and this regulation...

Link (and image) post: I made an error with the link on the chat section page, so I'm providing the picture that should be there below (it's also found in a reply to myself). As per usual, please direct all discussion to the link below. This WhereIsIt? challenge is first to determine where this is, and second to determine why it's geologically significant. Link: Geology Picture of the Week, November 9-15, 2003: A tough WhereIsIt? challenge Image:

I had to hunt around a bit to find this small picture of this particular place, and hunt some more to make sure it was the place I wanted. If this isn't a stumper, I don't know what is. Question 1: Where is it? Question 2: Why is it geologically significant? Good luck!

Blasted Box Highlights Tensions Blasted box highlights tensions Erie Bomb Squad members keep onlookers at bay as a suspicious box is blown up outside a downtown Citizens Bank on Sunday. The box, which turned out to be harmless, caused a hubbub in the city, which has seen hightened tensions since an Aug. 28 bank robbery and explosion. (Erie Times-News photo by Rob Engelhardt) Zoom Read More Local News By Ed Palattella ed.palattella@timesnews.com and Dana Massing dana.massing@timesnews.com Brian Trocha had two confessions to make — one to the Erie police and one to his grandmother. He called police Sunday to admit...

Elves By the NumbersEvery now and then someone will ask how many Elves there actually were at some point in time. There is no correct answer because J.R.R. Tolkien didn't provide us with census figures. All we can do is guess and play number games.It is possible to come up with some reasonable estimates, although such estimates can vary greatly. Some people believe there must never have been more than, say, a couple hundred thousand Elves at any time. I'm of the opinion that they must have numbered in the millions at the height of their civilizations.All discussions of Elvish...

The Wild, Wild, Wood-elf WestLast year I wondered in an online musing if Tolkien intended the word "silvan" to be an Elvish word. He speaks of the Silvan Elves and Wood-elves interchangeably, and a number of people chuckled warmly and pointed out that "sylvan" means "woodland". Well, yes, I knew that, but that wasn't the point. Tolkien loved playing word games. Take "orthanc". Supposedly this is a Sindarin word which means "forked height". In Anglo-Saxon it means "cunning mind". The Sindarin name for Sauron's realm, Mordor, means "black land", but it's also an Anglo-Saxon word for murder. What a coincidence."Silvan"...

"The Empty Lands Where No Men Are..."The People of Eriador, 2000 - 3017 Third AgeThis article discusses the desolate picture of settlement in Eriador at the time of the War of the Ring. In the early Third Age Eriador had been chiefly inhabited by the Elves of Lindon, the Dwarves of Khadzad-dum and the People of Arnor. Arnor was stricken by internal strife 861+, war with Angmar 1300+, and the Great Plague of 1636, in which "...many parts of Eriador become desolate." (LOTR Tale of Years 1636). In 1974 Arnor was conquered by Angmar and its remaining city (Fornost Erain)...

A Tolkien Virgin: Of the coming of Men into the Westby Mark-Edmond The Journey Continues And so the stage is set. We have Elves, whose story this has been primarily for the last 150 some odd pages. We have the Dwarves, who dwell primarily in the mountains in the East. And now, we have Men added to the mix. Let's not forget the common threat in the far North, Morgoth and his armies of Orcs, Balrogs, and fire-drakes. To be honest, this chapter didn't strike me as particularly interesting aside from the general introduction of Men to the story....

Just got done watching my extended version DVD of FOTR, and I have a question about an elf. And yes, I have read the books, but only once. I suppose I could look it up myself, but I figured it would be fun for you fans who have nothing better to do til ROTK comes out. Kind of like off-season conditioning.OK, who is the elf that meets the fellowship when they are heading towards Lorien? He seems to be a prominent character, as he is appears in TTT movie to help the Rohirrim in the Battle of the Hornburg, and...

Much ado about Arwen: Elven Princess[ This article was published well before the first LOTR movie came out, so the beginning is a bit dated, but it quickly moves to the good stuff - JR ]Amazingly I find that people are still reeling in shock over the revelations from New Zealand concerning Elrond's only daughter. Liv Tyler has been photographed with pointed ears (hey, no one expected Tolkien Elves to show up on film). Liv Tyler has been photographed carrying a hobbit-dummy on horseback (okay, rescuing Frodo from the Nazgul is a bit of a stretch). Liv Tyler has been...

<p>NASA officials said Friday they have asked experts in upper-atmosphere electric phenomena whether it is possible for such effects to occur at the altitude and weather conditions that the shuttle was flying through before it disintegrated.</p> <p>But they said that so far they have found nothing in their investigation to indicate that the shuttle encountered such phenomena on re-entry. "There is nothing in the data stream . . . that would cause any concern on our part," said Ron Dittemore, NASA's shuttle program manager.</p>

MATTHEW FORDAHL, Associated Press WriterFriday, February 7, 2003 ©2003 Associated Press URL: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/news/archive/2003/02/07/state1114EST0040.DTL (02-07) 08:14 PST SAN FRANCISCO (AP) -- Federal scientists are investigating whether electricity or some other little-understood phenomena in the upper atmosphere might have doomed the space shuttle Columbia. Investigators also are reviewing data recorded by a network of instruments that might have detected a faint thunderclap at the same time a purplish bolt of lightning may have struck the shuttle high above Earth, the San Francisco Chronicle reported. Researchers at NASA's Kennedy Space Center raised concerns in a report last year that electromagnetic phenomena or ice...

<p>Federal scientists are looking for evidence that a bolt of electricity in the upper atmosphere might have doomed the space shuttle Columbia as it streaked over California, The Chronicle has learned.</p> <p>Investigators are combing records from a network of ultra-sensitive instruments that might have detected a faint thunderclap in the upper atmosphere at the same time a photograph taken by a San Francisco astronomer appears to show a purplish bolt of lightning striking the shuttle.</p>

www.holoscience.com.au©Copyright HOLOSCIENCE 2000 &nbsp; HOLOSCIENCE The Science of the New Millenium NEWS ITEM 29 January 2002 &nbsp; The Balloon goes up over lightning! was sent aloft to ride far above the great storms of the mid-west USA. Researchers had sent the balloon, like a Dark Rider out of Tolkien, riding into the moonless night, seeking sprites, gnomes and the ring of the elves. &lt;&lt; Gnomes, sprites and elves stretch into space above powerful thunderstorms. Their fanciful names may reflect the fact that airline pilots reported them but for many years no one would believe them. C.T.R. Wilson 1927 Surprisingly, ...

<p>SAN JOSE, Calif.(AP) - The space shuttle Columbia broke up in a mysterious area of the upper atmosphere once so little understood and difficult to study that scientists dubbed it the "ignorosphere."</p> <p>On Friday, NASA said it has asked outside atmospheric scientists for their opinion on whether some sort of electrical discharge could have occurred as the shuttle screamed toward touchdown at Kennedy Space Center in Florida.</p>

CAPE CANAVERAL, Florida (Reuters) - Sprites and elves dancing on thunder clouds have been captured by cameras on the space shuttle Columbia. The sprites, which are red flashes of electricity shooting up from thunderclouds 13 miles (20 km) into the ionosphere, and elves, which are glowing red doughnut shapes radiating 190 miles (300 km), were photographed Sunday by astronaut Dave Brown on the sprite hunt's first orbit. Columbia and a crew of seven astronauts are on a 16-day science mission that began Thursday. The study of sprites is part of an Israeli experiment known as MEIDEX that includes the first...

A discussion of Bree's significance and probable history in the Third Age. [ Published prior to the first Lord Of The Rings movie ] Strange as news from Bree...Word has it that we won't see much of Bree in Peter Jackson's "Lord of the Rings" movies. Bree is the little village east of the Shire where Frodo and his companions meet up with Aragorn (who is known there as Strider). I expect most of the Bree scenes will deal with how the Hobbits come to travel with the Ranger, and the movie will just move on. Will we even see...

A Tolkien Virgin: Of The Coming of Elves and the Captivity of Melkorby Mark-Edmond The Journey ContinuesThe thing that first struck me about this section is the creation of the Orcs. Tolkien has done something brilliant here. He established with Aule that none of the Ainor or Valar could create beings--things that exist apart from their creator. Illuvatar alone can truly create beings. So in order for Melkor to have a race of followers, he takes elves and breeds them into hideous creatures--the Orcs. For the Orcs to be descended from Elves is really a fascinating concept. If Tokien is...

A History of the Last Alliance of Elves and Men, Part 2 [ Part three is the source notes as annotated in the article.  The appropriate source notes have instead been added to the end of the other two parts for consolidation]This is the final article concerning the war of the Last Alliance of Elves and Men. The article was originally written for the Tolkien journal Arda. Part 1 covered events leading up to the war. Special thanks to Rick House, who provided comments and suggestions when the article was written in 1996. The actual war began with the assault...

A History of the Last Alliance of Elves and Men, Part 1[ Part three is the source notes as annotated in the article.  The appropriate source notes have instead been added to the end of the other two parts for consolidation]In 1996 the editor of the journal Arda asked me to contribute some of my research to a twelfth volume which has, to my knowledge, never been published. I chose the war of the Last Alliance of Elves and Men as my topic because no one had really ever done a full treatment of the subject.It remains, to my knowledge,...

(Meena Apsa ho Ambarenya: Tyava ai Randa Lo Nelde)In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit. Not a nasty, dirty wet hole, filled with the ends of worms and a nasty oozy smell, nor yet a dry, bare, sandy-hole with nothing to sit down on or to eat: it was a hobbit-hole, and that means comfort. -- J.R.R. Tolkien (from The Hobbit) And that means food. Hobbits love to eat, six times a day if they can get it, and they love to have 'transportable' food, so as never to go hungry. There are desserts and beverages aplenty...

Speaking of Legolas... I decided to set myself a challenge and write something about Legolas which hasn't been said before. There seems to be a lot of curiosity about this Elf. People want to know all sorts of things about him, such as what color was his hair, who was his mother, when was he born, was he at the Battle of Five Armies?If someone were to produce a television series based on the Fellowship of the Ring (the company, not the book), they would have to come up with their own history for Legolas. The inevitable exploration of each...

Celeborn UnpluggedEvery now and then, someone asks me to speak up for Celeborn. He is, perhaps, the most maligned and misunderstood of Tolkien's characters. Many people consider the silver-haired Lord of Lorien to be oafish or even foolish. Why? Basically because of one sentence uttered by Galadriel.And now the sabers of rationalization begin to rattle in their sheathes. "Oh, but he doesn't actually do anything in the book!" his detractors say. Like, Galadriel gets off her royal duff and does something? Sorry. That Warg won't howl. Neither character accomplishes much in the story. They both accomplish a great deal in...