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Keyword: formeranalvirgin

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  • Morford: Does 'Narnia' Actually Suck?

    01/11/2006 8:36:00 AM PST · by presidio9 · 104 replies · 2,729+ views
    San Francisco Chronicle ^ | January 11, 2006 | Mark Morford (stay away from her wardrobe)
    I was all wrong about "Narnia." Which is to say, about six months ago in this space I was hell-bent on the white-hot idea that Hollywood and the Christian-right group/billionaire that helped produce the tepid and saccharine flick would absolutely ruin "The Chronicles of Narnia" books, ruin the deep magic and the astounding sense of wonder these books held for millions of children (including this writer) by regurgitating them as a slick, dumbed-down, poorly acted smarm-fest full of ham-fisted Jesus allusions and excessive special effects, all from the director who brought you, ahem, "Shrek 2." Things did not, shall we...
  • Communism and human nature (Bolshie Mod sez, Arise ye kittens of the earth!)

    04/05/2005 10:50:57 AM PDT · by Sammy sam · 153 replies · 8,234+ views
    Many argue that communism will never be possible because of "human nature". The essence of this false argument is the belief that a communist society would consist of an all-powerful central government that would tell everybody what to do--and would therefore undermine the creative initiative of individuals and the search for happiness. • This argument is based on two false assumptions: (1) It assumes that a communist society will look like the former Soviet Union, or the current China, North Korea, etc (ie: corrupt police states with a feudal-style ruling class) (2) It assumes that people will only work in...
  • Ho Hum, More War And Death

    01/19/2005 12:07:47 AM PST · by SmithL · 11 replies · 761+ views
    San Francisco Chronicle ^ | 1/19/5 | Mark Morford
    What happens when habitual warmongering and BushCo lies become part of our daily diet? And then you read the appalling little story about how BushCo is now "taking steps" to further the investigation into why their original intelligence on Iraq was so painfully, treasonously, colon-clenchingly wrong, why they thought Saddam had giant Costco-sized warehouses stacked to the rafters with snarling nukes and nasty biotoxins and active warheads when, in fact, he had nothing but a couple Dumpsters full of rusty 20-year-old shell casings and a bucket of stale glue.
  • Stray Dogs Deserve Back Rubs

    01/14/2005 9:53:29 AM PST · by SmithL · 20 replies · 1,158+ views
    San Francisco Chronicle ^ | 1/14/5 | Mark Morford
    We kill millions of pets every year Who cares if a few get posh shelters and humane laws? OK. So I tend to think people who insist on calling themselves pet "guardians" instead of "owners" are exasperating and a bit wrongheaded, and that such uber-PC thinking does almost nothing to change or improve the behavior of the thousands of animal abusers in this country. And I tend to agree with fabulous dog writer Jon Katz that such semantic sidestepping does more harm to the animals than good, and leads to naive treatment, lack of decent training and an outright ignorance...
  • Resolutions For The Damned

    01/05/2005 8:06:15 AM PST · by SmithL · 20 replies · 1,032+ views
    San Francisco Chronicle ^ | 1/5/5 | Mark Morford
    A new year, a Bush-gutted, storm-ravaged world and you in need of some juicy, heartfelt pledges -- This is the year. No, really. This is the it. This is the year you resolve to let it all hang out and lick the fingertips of the divine and stop holding back and stop quivering with unchecked anticipation/dread as you realize that, if you care a whit for self-definition and spiritual nuance and hot wet intelligence and deep karmic color in this tsunami-hammered, Bush-ravaged world, you are desperately needed right now. It's true. Alas, many are dejected. Many of the blue or...
  • Amazon.com Is For Republicans

    12/22/2004 8:05:50 AM PST · by SmithL · 83 replies · 3,109+ views
    San Francisco Chronicle ^ | 12/22/4 | Mark Morford
    Attention, liberal shoppers! Next year, screw those GOP-supportin' companies, and try buying blue Do you care much that greasy ol' Pizza Hut gave tens of thousands in PAC money to the GOP last year? How about the fact that Taco Bell stopped pumping out their happily toxic semirancid meatlike substances just long enough to write a fat check to the conservative Right? Isn't that weirdly fascinating, in a depressing and indigestible sort of way? Does it matter a whit that, say, Fruit of the Loom underwear gave nearly 100 percent of its corporate donations to tighty-whitey-wearing Republicans, nearly every one...
  • Come See Our Hideous Slab

    12/17/2004 7:47:42 AM PST · by SmithL · 104 replies · 3,334+ views
    San Francisco Chronicle ^ | 12/17/4 | Mark Morford
    As the world swoons over France's soaring beauty of a bridge, S.F. gets slapped with an eyesore And did you hear the one about how those gul-dang baguette-sucking antiwar French just completed work on this astounding new bridge, a soaring, airy, delicate thing erected in southern France, and it's all over the international press and the French people are justifiably proud and even the venerable Le Monde has deemed the new Millau bridge a "work of art," and the amazing pictures are being featured everywhere, for good reason? And you look at the photos and see the breathtakingly elegant architecture...
  • Canada Goes To Hell Legal pot? Legal gay marriage? Universal health care? What's next,...

    12/15/2004 7:32:53 PM PST · by SmithL · 24 replies · 1,023+ views
    San Francisco Chronicle ^ | 12/15/4 | Mark Morford
    Legal pot? Legal gay marriage? Universal health care? What's next, free porn and candy? Did you hear the screams? Did you feel the menacing chill? Did you see the black and ominous clouds, moving north? Did you sense, in other words, the very presence of Satan himself as he laughed maniacally and tossed around bucketfuls of ultrathin condoms and little travel-size packets of Astroglide like confetti while riding his Harley Softail up to Toronto or maybe Edmonton to join the ghastly and sodomitic celebrations? Because it's happened. Canada's high court just ruled that the government can, if it so desires,...
  • Legal pot? Legal gay marriage? Universal health care? What's next, free porn and candy? (Morford)

    12/15/2004 10:26:23 AM PST · by RightWingAtheist · 44 replies · 11,717+ views
    SFGate.com ^ | December 15 2004 | Mark Morford (hot for Sven Robinson)
    Did you hear the screams? Did you feel the menacing chill? Did you see the black and ominous clouds, moving north? Did you sense, in other words, the very presence of Satan himself as he laughed maniacally and tossed around bucketfuls of ultrathin condoms and little travel-size packets of Astroglide like confetti while riding his Harley Softail up to Toronto or maybe Edmonton to join the ghastly and sodomitic celebrations? Because it's happened. Canada's high court just ruled that the government can, if it so desires, redefine marriage to include gay couples, which it has declared it will do almost...
  • Morford: What Are You, On Drugs?

    12/08/2004 8:33:37 AM PST · by presidio9 · 38 replies · 1,096+ views
    San Francisco Chronic-le ^ | Wednesday, December 8, 2004 | Mark Morford (does not take her Thorazine orallly)
    The odds are very good that you are on drugs. Right now. This minute. As I type this and as you read this and as false Texas dictators rise and sad empires crumble and as this mad bewildered world spins in its frantically careening orbit, there's a nearly 50/50 chance that some sort of devious synthetic chemical manufactured by some massive and largely heartless corporation is coursing through your bloodstream and humping your brain stem and molesting your karma and kicking the crap out of your libido and chattering the teeth of your very bones. Maybe it's regulating your blood...
  • Morford: Very, Very Dirty Pictures

    12/03/2004 7:37:58 AM PST · by presidio9 · 111 replies · 5,208+ views
    San Francisco Chronicle ^ | Friday, December 3, 2004 | Mark Morford; the Marboro Man gets her hot
    This is what you won't see in the paper. This is what you won't see on CNN or on MSNBC or CBS News or on any major media Web site anywhere and especially no goddamn way ever in hell will you see it within a thousand miles of Fox News. You aren't supposed to see. You aren't supposed to know. You are to remain ignorant and shielded, and, if you're like most Americans, you have been very carefully conditioned to think Bush's nasty Iraq war is merely this ugly little firecracker-like thing happening way, way over there, carefully orchestrated and...
  • Mark Morford: Monday Night Softcore

    11/21/2004 9:47:34 AM PST · by gopwinsin04 · 29 replies · 2,130+ views
    The San Francisco Chronic ^ | 11/20/04 | Mark Morford, the pillow biter
    So, who are they? Who are the ones who have no problem watching a Monday Night Football game in which huge sweaty steroid pakced men in cute homoerotic tights smash each other as hard as possible hoping they break bodies, induce aneurysms and draw blood during out most violent, drug addled and corrupted national televised sporting spectatcle, but actually picked up the phone to complain to ABC about the 'racy' ad promoting 'Desperate Housewives' that led into the game? They are the same people that complained about 1.5 seconds of Janet Jackson's nipple, the same ones who complain about low...
  • Morford: Dear World: Sorry About Bush

    11/17/2004 7:16:05 AM PST · by presidio9 · 51 replies · 1,767+ views
    San Francisco Chronicle ^ | Wednesday, November 17, 2004 | Mark Morford, SF Gay Columnist
    It's a movement. It's a phenomenon. It's a Web site. Or maybe it's far more than that. No one can really be sure. No matter what it is, it's called sorryeverybody.com and it expresses, better than any outpouring so far, a sentiment that's omnipresent and palpable and still going strong, and every single Democrat and every single Kerry supporter and every single liberal of any stripe whatsoever probably felt it like a white-hot stab in the heart the minute Kerry's concession speech hit the airwaves and it undoubtedly went something like this: Dear world: We are so very, very sorry....
  • Down With Fancy Book Learnin'

    11/12/2004 8:00:22 AM PST · by SmithL · 86 replies · 1,780+ views
    San Francisco Chronicle ^ | 11/12/4 | Mark Morford
    Is this why everything's so mangled? Is this why we're so divided? Is this why we're so damned confused and bothered and itchy and wondering why we are ever at each others' throats and ever snickering in each others' direction and ever sighing heavily and wishing we could somehow have a magic glimpse into the year 2104 to see how the hell we survive it all? Because there remains this astonishing and yet ever present fact: all the major cities of America, the great cultural centers and the places with the most concentrated populations and the most extraordinary restaurants and...
  • Morford: We Are All Dubya's Doormat

    11/10/2004 7:50:36 AM PST · by presidio9 · 79 replies · 2,186+ views
    San Francisco Chronicle ^ | Wednesday, November 10, 2004 | Mark Morford, becoming increasinly more irrelevant by the minute
    This just in: Millions of moderate Republicans and gay-terrified evangelical Christians and intellectually numbed conservative parents who thought they were doing some sort of good by blindly voting for Dubya and hence protecting their wee ones from swarthy Islamic evildoers who want to steal their kids' Kraft Lunchables and nuke Disneyland, all should be emerging from a deep fog of savage denial any minute now. Wake, they will, to the increasingly obvious fact that their beloved smirkin' president, the one who seemed to care about them so deeply just a couple weeks ago and who reached out to them and...
  • Wallow In Chaos, And Laugh (Mark Morford is having a nervous breakdown)

    11/03/2004 7:12:02 AM PST · by presidio9 · 71 replies · 1,056+ views
    San Francisco Chronicle ^ | Wednesday, November 3, 2004 | Mark Morford, Sore Loser
    Oh dear God please not again. Oh dear God please don't let it be all convoluted and depressing and messy and stupid and please don't let it all embarrass us on an international level all over again even more than it already has and even more than it already is and even more than we've endured lo these past four debilitating and soul-crushing years. Hello? Please? Is it already too late? Why yes, yes it is. And lo and behold, it's apparently another completely tortuous and entirely knotted presidential election, still not finished and still not all ironed out and...
  • Get Out And Vote And Scream

    10/29/2004 3:08:41 AM PDT · by Cincinatus' Wife · 48 replies · 992+ views
    San Francisco Chronicle ^ | October 29, 2004 | Mark Morford, SF Gate Columnist
    So here we are, staring down a rather historic moment amidst the sputtering ideological orgy that is the American experiment and if you're paying any sort of attention at all you're doubtlessly drunk on election hype and saturated with Bush/Kerry platitudes and you wish a white-hot death upon every screeching TV pundit who is right now analyzing yet another insidious national poll that seems to reveal everything and nothing at the exact same time. And Bush is out there right this very second stumping and sweating and blinking fast and defending his useless hideous little war and hurling snide little...
  • Write More About Skull & Bones

    10/27/2004 7:48:11 AM PDT · by SmithL · 15 replies · 699+ views
    San Francisco Chronicle ^ | 10/27/4 | Mark Morford
    Secret societies? UFOs? The truth about what *really* happened on 9/11? The media cowers I get this a lot: Hey Mark, you're a rather weird, unconventional columnist, why don't you quit toeing the typical blasé journalism line and renounce the corporate-controlled news feeds and standard pop-culture drivel and instead write about the real truths, the real and sinister power structures at work in America and the world? Like for example how both Kerry and Bush are members of mega-yuppie Yale secret society/boys' club Skull & Bones, and therefore suckle at the same tit of nefarious primeval Illuminati power and draw...
  • Can John Kerry Cure Cancer?

    10/15/2004 7:59:14 AM PDT · by SmithL · 24 replies · 2,058+ views
    San Francisco Chronicle ^ | 10/15/4 | Mark Morford
    Miracle worker or no, after the tyranny of BushCo, a "normal" prez will be a blessed relief There will not be a great parting of the clouds. There will not be brighter flowers and happier puppies. There will not be massive choruses of angels singing and birds chirping and dolphins finally standing upright and speaking fluent Latin and saying we knew it all along. Let's be real: Should Kerry win this election, we are most likely not in for a spectacular and unprecedented ride of shiny progressive glory that will astound the world and reignite the collective soul and float...
  • Morford: Does God Hate Florida?

    10/01/2004 8:25:54 AM PDT · by presidio9 · 50 replies · 1,139+ views
    San Francisco Chronicle ^ | Friday, October 1, 2004 | Mark Morford, hoping they get Orlando put back together in time for Gay Day
    You know it's true. You know if, say, San Francisco had just been blasted by not two, not three, but fully four lethal trailer-park-eating earthquakes, why, the Right-wing Bible set would be yelping with barely disguised joy. Of course they would. They'd be jumping up and down and saying I told you so and pointing to Volume 18 of "Left Behind" and claiming that this was, of course, God's wrath upon the sinners and the gays and the heathens and sodomites and the tofu eaters and the Toyota Priuses and the yoga studios and the anal sex and the incense...