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LAS VEGAS - Democrat Hillary Rodham Clinton welcomed her traveling press corps aboard her campaign plane Wednesday with a humorous riff on the standard flight attendant speech familiar to commercial air travelers. “Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen, and welcome aboard the maiden flight of Hill Force One,” Clinton said over the plane’s intercom as it taxied down the runway en route to Reno, Nev.

Manufacturers are hoping their range of cuddly toy versions of microbes including gonorrhea and syphilis will be a hit for Christmas.

Political observers are falling over themselves trying to determine the cladistics of a newly-emergent population of political animal, the Rudy booster. This appears to be the first new species of Republican to emerge in over two decades in the Family Republicanae (the last being Conservatisi reagani), and displays a particularly odd range of behaviors that call into question the long-term political viability of the new species, as well as that of Republicanae in general if they assume a position of dominance. Some observers have proposed classifying the new population as a subspecies of Rinous rockefelleri, whereas others have made a...

MILAN (Reuters) - Milan's fashion designers, having put up the for sale signs on winter collections, launched their ideas on Sunday for what men should be wearing next autumn -- and Dolce & Gabbana said it would be space-age glitter. Nobel literature laureate Dario Fo may have lamented last week that catwalk shows are boring but Dolce & Gabbana's, themed on the film "2001 -- A Space Odyssey," won audience applause and "overwhelmed" Jake Shears of glam rock band the Scissor Sisters. Models in space-suit style zip-heavy jumpsuits in whites and metallic colours strode down the catwalk, watched by over...

It's been a long summer. The workload has increased as the hairline decreased. There is a change in the weather this week that seems to mark the start of autumn. Time to push aside the paperwork, the reports, the bills, and the everyday world of life. Time to start something nutty... Friday Silliness Begins Now Silly Songs: I Love My Lips

Astronomers at the University of Tasmania have found that the solar system's smallest planet is not getting colder as first thought and it probably does not have rings. Dr John Greenhill has collected observations from last month's event when Pluto passed in front of a bright star, making it easier to study. French scientists have shared the measurements they took in Tasmania that night, which indicate that the planet is unlikely to have rings. Dr Greenhill says the results are surprising because they show Pluto is warming up. "It looks as though the atmosphere has not changed from 2002, which...

Jacob admitted that he has not ironed out details of his proposed immigration FastPass, styled after the pass used at Disneyland. Park visitors can go to a ride, obtain a FastPass, and then return during a specific time and go to the front of the line. Cannon pressed him on which illegal aliens would qualify for a FastPass. Jacob said it would not be for everyone, only those who had been in America for 10 to 20 years. If they've actually been here that long, show us the five Social Security numbers you've used, get an affidavit from your wife...

Armoured suits are 'too goofy' say US troops By Francis Harris, in Washington (Filed: 09/05/2006) American troops have complained that a new armoured body suit designed to be worn in Iraq makes them look "goofy". The water-cooled "alien spacesuits" are being handed out to turret gunners in their notoriously vulnerable Humvee vehicles. The new suit is designed to protect against roadside bombs but has had mixed reviews from soldiers The protective suit, based on those worn by bomb disposal officers, was intended to cut spiralling casualties for one of the most dangerous jobs in modern warfare. But some troops have...

For two years, the California Teachers Association has beat up on Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger with relentless ferocity. It made sense: The CTA is used to treating state revenues as if they were an all-you-can-eat buffet, and the governor – at least in his old fiscal-conservative iteration – was eager to take the union on. Last November, unfortunately, the CTA won the power struggle. All four reform initiatives Schwarzenegger touted were rejected after a campaign in which the CTA-run Alliance for a Better California ran loads of demagogic ads describing the governor as a threat to truth, justice and the American...

Not sure where X Alien is today so at the request of others, I'm kicking of the OFST. Seeing that Aprils Fools Day is tomorrow and its also Paulab's birthday tomorrow, use today's thread to share some of your best April Fools memories and to throw a birthday wish Paulab's way.

Clicky Here to View

IS TAIWAN A POSSESSION OF THE UNITED STATES? Behind The Lines By Dr. Jack Wheeler Thursday, August 11, 2005 Communist China, the People's Republic of China or PRC, never tires of denouncing Taiwan as a "renegade province" that belongs to it, and bitterly complaining that any attempt by any country anywhere in the world to treat Taiwan as a sovereign independent nation is a gross interference in China's "internal affairs." This claim is about to be publicly exposed as baseless - for it turns out that as a matter of international law, Taiwan is legally an overseas possession of the...

As I have noted in several brief commentaries in the past three weeks since the election of Pope Benedict XVI, each Catholic must pray fervently for the Successor of Saint Peter. We are neither pessimists (sad idiots) or optimists (happy idiots). Catholics are called to grow in the Supernatural Virtues of Faith, Hope, and Charity with every beat of their hearts, consecrated as they must be to the Immaculate Heart of Mary and the Sacred Heart of Jesus. Although we must be concerned about the state of the Church in her human elements at present, we have to understand that...

1. Seinfeld 2. Barney Miller 3. Home Improvement 4. Dick Van Dyke Show 5. Bob Newhart Show (Inn) 6. Bob Newhart Show (Psychologist) 7. Red Skelton Show 8. Mork and Mindy 9. Perfect Strangers 10. Mary Tyler Moore Show 11. Bosom Buddies 12. Chico and the Man 13. Sanford and Sons 14. Jackie Gleason Show 15. The Honeymooners 16. I Love Lucy 17. Beverly Hillbillies 18. Green Acres 19. Carol Burnett Show 20. All In The Family 21. Laugh In

NEW YORK (Reuters) - The diners arrived at a nice Manhattan restaurant on a cold February night and stripped off coats, hats, gloves and scarves. They didn't stop there. Skirts, shirts, pants, underwear and stockings all ended up stashed in plastic bags by the bar as the patrons got naked for the monthly "Clothing Optional Dinner."

A Glimpse Ahead Timothy Snodgrass The Impossible Will Come Alive In 2005 01/28/05 In January of 2004, as we began to intercede for the New Year the Holy Spirit gave us the prophetic slogan, "The Seas will Roar in 2004". This year we were given a new slogan, "The Impossible will come Alive in 2005". As the veil of darkness begins to come down over nations and regions, along with great shakings will come great breakthroughs; signs, wonders, healings and a spectacular release of miracles in impossible circumstances. This year, although we are ultimately poised to gain much ground, there...

Kinky Friedman says he'll enter governor's race Thursday By Stephen Scheibal AMERICAN-STATESMAN STAFF Wednesday, February 2, 2005 The Kinkster is serious. It's the answering machine. It's getting full, what with the gubernatorial campaign and all. "The point is, I need a secretary," Kinky Friedman says, promising to get one if the people of Texas make him their governor. But then he reflects on the phenomenon, so many supporters tracking down the number for his ranch near Kerrville, and turns sanguine. "The word's getting out," the candidate says. "You can't complain about that." The man legally known as Richard S. Friedman...

What's the deal with all the dead scientists?

The idea of a liberal media bias is simply a myth. If only it were true, we might have a more humane, open-minded, and ultimately effective public debate on the issues facing the country. We may actually embrace the principles of liberalism, instead of using it as a tool to divide the nation. Everything good that has happened in this country is founded on the ideology of liberalism. Liberals in the past were liberators who fought for a woman's right to vote, and fought to end segregation in the United States and then to end apartheid in South Africa. Thanks...

Last year, an elderly woman attended a clinic in Rabat, Morocco...this respected Moroccan woman got pregnant 46 years ago! (Money Quote)When you come across something like this, it is hard to remain clam...

Some supporters of John Kerry shocked by President Bush's victory in last week's election continue to seek out psychological help, prompting at least one mental-health center to offer free counseling through the end of this year.

You all aren't going go believe this, but here goes anyway. Everyone on my street has a W sign in their yard except one family. At a block party last night the conversation turned to politics and she told us that her Kerry sign got stolen and that it made her mad because she had to BUY IT FOR $3. All of us about fell out of our chairs laughing.

A Few of FR's Finest....Every Day Free Republic made its debut in September, 1996, and the forum was added in early 1997.   Over 100,000 people have registered for posting privileges on Free Republic, and the forum is read daily by tens of thousands of concerned citizens and patriots from all around the country and the world. A Few of FR's Finest....Every Day was introduced on June 24, 2002. It's only a small room in JimRob's house where we can get to know one another a little better; salute and support our military and our leaders; pray for those in...

PUNA, Hawaii (Wireless Flash) -- Dolphins may have the power to alter our DNA and switch our genes "on" and "off" to help us heal. That's the fishy claim of dolphin researcher Dr. Michael Hyson, who says that the mammals can generate sound and electromagnetic fields that can have a positive effect on human DNA to help treat diseases like autism, cerebral palsy and depression. Although Hyson can't explain how dolphins know which genes to turn "on" and "off" to treat humans and admits "it's a hypothesis," he claims dolphins have treated humans this way for thousands of years. In...

The man cleared last month on claims he molested a teenager while playing Tigger at the Magic Kingdom has been suspended again.

Is it just me or does anyone else think Don Martin (of Mad and Cracked magazines) used John Kerry as a model for most of his 'toons?

NEW YORK (Reuters) - Walt Disney Co . on Monday said it rejected an unsolicited takeover offer from cable television company Comcast Corp . Disney's board said it had full confidence in the business, financial and creative direction of the company under the leadership of Michael Eisner.

If rogue nations are to be brought into line by the US, shouldn’t Israel be punished for ignoring UN resolutions? Gerald Kaufman is just asking... The unprecedented security measures for President Bush’s visit to Britain this week prove that the war against terrorism, launched by the United States two years ago, has certainly not been won. If further proof were needed, the atrocious terrorist acts against two synagogues in Istanbul at the weekend provide blood-spattered confirmation. But if the invasion of Iraq last spring was not about Saddam Hussein’s alleged links to international terrorism, what was its rationale and...

Is it Time to Physically Remove the illegal Bush Military Junta ?.. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Reply to: anon-9537884@craigslist.org Date: 2003-03-18, 10:47AM What would Happen .... If George W. Bush, the first unelected President of the United States appointed by the Supreme Court, succeeds in driving the United States government to attack a nation that offers no threat to the United States... If George W. Bush continues to ignore the cries for peace from millions of people in the United States and throughout the world... If George W. Bush continues to preside over the destruction of human rights and the shredding of the...

Mar. 11--PROVIDENCE, R.I.--The family of a woman who died in the West Warwick, R.I., nightclub fire contends in a lawsuit that two large corporations are partly responsible, Anheuser-Busch and Clear Channel Communications. The brewery sponsored the Feb. 20 concert at The Station nightclub, the suit said, and delivered "a batch of Budweiser" through a local distributor, so patrons "could have the freshest beer they were ever likely to have," a perk mentioned regularly by a disk jockey from WHJY who introduced the band Great White. "A number of interns" from that radio station, owned by broadcasting giant Clear Channel, distributed...

Leftists are Planning a Corporate Demonstration on Wednesday, March 5th. Let Brown and Root know what is being planned. Message is left in an un-edited form except indymedia contact information. ----START OF MESSAGE----------------------------------- Rally Against War Profiteers---Wednesday, March 5th, 5 P.M. 601 Jefferson (Outside Brown and Root Building) $$$$$$$ STOP WAR-PROFITEERING IN HOUSTON $$$$$$$ Kellogg, Brown and Root Government Operations, a subsidiary of Halliburton, formerly led by Vice-President Dick Cheney, provides a diverse range of services to all branches of the United States military and other Department of Defense and government agencies. They make billions in profits from war. They...

<p>In Athens, 2,400 years ago, women took the anti-war movement into their own powerful hands. No sex, they told their mates, until the men ended the Peloponnesian War. That's the subject of Aristophanes' ancient Greek comedy "Lysistrata."</p> <p>On Monday, in cities around the world, the story will be retold in a global protest to the impending war with Iraq. More than 800 public readings of "Lysistrata" are scheduled in 49 countries and scores of communities across the United States. Lysistrata Project sites in the Bay Area include San Francisco, Oakland, Berkeley, Los Altos Hills and Sacred Heart Prep in Atherton.</p>

Just a reminder, for all you AL GORE fans here on FR - Al Gore is the host tonight, on SNL.

With roughly 80 employees and a 240-person seating capacity, Disneyland Hotel’s Goofy’s Kitchen is the hotel’s largest and busiest restaurant. It offers patrons an opportunity to eat among roaming Disney characters—such as Pluto, Snow White and, of course, the eponymic, buck-toothed dog—who gather near the buffet bar and entertain by singing and dancing the macarena.Despite the festive atmosphere, current and former restaurant employees say the cafeteria-style restaurant is plagued by rats, rat feces and toxic mold. Four employees filed workman’s-compensation claims against Disney in October 2001 and January 2002 citing chronic illnesses from dust and various forms of airborne mold....