Humor (General/Chat)
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According to Rush, this is the new American national anthem for the banana-republic/Oinquebama age: New Anthem
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Have you seen the latest fad for teens in Japan? They are called bagelheads. Teens in Japan are injecting themselves with saline, which causes bumps in their heads. The lumps and bumps created by the saline can be shaped and molded. The teens are calling themselves bagelheads. The disfigurement only last 24 hours. I have a hard time looking at these teens, and I just hope it stays in Japan and doesn't make it's way over to the states. Will bagelheads be an addition to body piercing, and tattoos in the U.S.? Can lox heads, or cream cheese heads, be...
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Consider this a public service announcement - like one of those "More You Know" segments on Saturday morning TV or one of those "Knowledge is Power" bits from G.I. Joe. Today's topic is "trolling," a common practice on forums, message boards and blog comments. The Urban Dictionary defines trolling as "the act of purposefully antagonizing other people on the internet" usually just because you can. By why would anyone do this? Are people really so bored that they see insulting other people as a form of entertainment? There are a lot of complex psychological factors involved with trolling, but I...
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New York, NY - Former Secretary of State Colin Powell isnt the only major political figure to reconsider the wisdom of his endorsement of Barack Obamas presidential campaign last year. On Friday the Legion of Doom said it was strongly reconsidering its on-going advocacy of Obamas domestic agenda. MORE AT LINK
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We were so poor growing up On the fourth of July Mom told us to rub our eyes real hard to see them
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First Place Nick DwyerSecond Place T. BaxterThird Place Dave Corrasa
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Former U.S. lawmaker and Green Party presidential candidate Cynthia McKinney and several other activists remained in an Israeli prison Thursday after refusing to sign a deportation form that they claim is self-incriminating. In a press release from the Green Party, McKinney said the form states that the Spirit of Humanity, a Greek-flagged relief boat carrying 21 activists, medical supplies, cement, olive trees and children's toys en route to Gaza, was violating the Israeli blockade and trespassing the country's territorial waters.
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There were lots of plausible presences at the La Vista Embassy Suites to oppose what many see as the worst livestock impacts of the federal governments National Animal Identification System. The skeptical manager of the Bassett Livestock Auction, the indignant rancher from Valentine, the long-suffering hog producer from Minnesota all seemed to have an obvious place in June 30 proceedings aimed at overhauling the programs most objectionable features. Chris Bambery of Lincoln, proud owner of two chickens on Sumner Street and promoter of what he describes as backyard chicken PowerPoint presentations, didnt blend in as easily. But it turns...
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"To Protect and Serve" has taken on a new meaning for the Clare Police Department. When officers heard that the Clare City Bakery was closing its doors, they protected the business from certain demise. Now, they're serving up doughnuts. "Cops & Doughnuts" opened at 6 a.m. Wednesday with little fanfare but plenty of customers. "We've been swamped," John Pedjac, administrative assistant for Clare Police Chief Dwayne Miedzianowski, said. "Business has been great." The humor of a group of police officers - Miedzianowski, sergeants Dave Saad and Rich Ward, Pedjac, and officers Greg Rynearson, Al White, Jeremy McGraw, Brian Gregory and...
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Sam The Eagle presents Stars & Stripes Forever. (See link.)
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"What better way to celebrate the 4th of July than with fireworks - only Ludlow Kissel takes it to a new height by putting on a display that will go down in history." (Quote from the flicklives.com page.) Shep read this story on the air pretty much every July 4th. You can listen to the story in mp3 audio file format or download it for later enjoyment at the Internet Archive, here (direct link to the mp3). The story appeared in written form in Playboy, and later, in Shep's first book, In God We Trust, All Others Pay Cash.
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This was sent by a Deputy Sheriff. The New Fashion Rage In Mug Shots These are actual Police Photos...too funny. Just think about this for a second: Did you ever see anyone arrested wearing a Bush T-shirt, or for you older guys, an Eisenhower, Gerald Ford, Ronald Reagan, or even Nixon, or Bob Dole shirt. Obama must be proud of his supporters!
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A driver is stuck in a traffic jam going into downtown Chicago . Nothing Is moving north or south. Suddenly a man knocks on his window. The driver rolls down his window and asks, 'What happened, what's the hold Up?' 'Terrorists have kidnapped Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, Oprah Winfrey, Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, Rosie O'Donnell, Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton. They are asking for a $10 Million ransom. Otherwise, they are going to douse them with gasoline and set them on fire. We are going from car to car, taking up a collection.' The driver asks, 'On average, how much...
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A source close to the Jacksons has exclusively revealed to X17 Online that family will likely have a traditional Muslim burial for late Michael Jackson. "The family is considering following the Muslim burial traditions because they believe Michael would have wanted to be laid to rest in keeping with his new-found religious beliefs," says the source. "Michael's brother Jermaine is educating the family as to the special rites because he feels it's important to bury his brother according to the Muslim way," adds the source. Despite earlier reports that both public and private memorial services for the late music performer...
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My name is Brendan. I'm an Obamaholic. It started back in November of 2000. I didn't really hate George W. Bush then, but I really liked Al Gore and thought he would be the kind of president who would care for my needs. When the Supreme Court stole the presidency from Al Gore, I went into a fit. I had trouble sleeping, and I would become angry with my cats for almost no reason. My employer noticed that my work productivity had slowed down, and they put me on light duty. With the help of my shop steward, I was...
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Oh, the drama! New rumors are swirling about an impending split for Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel. It seems the general consensus in gossip-world is that Jessica Biel is one needy, clingy girl and that JT will do anything to get away from her. These kinds of rumors are nothing new - JT and Biel have broken up about two dozen times already, according to the tabloids. Theres always some new variation - say, JT wants Biel to move out of his New York apartment, or that JT is cheating on Biel at a club, and only Lindsay Lohan was...
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BATH Twilight is coming on at Willie Minot's farm and the cows in the pasture graze contentedly as another day fades. But one cow nibbles on wet grass apart from the rest of the herd, different from all the others, with their spots, round bodies and, well, attitude. She's taller. She's in that gangly, awkward adolescent phase, wanting to be a part of the crowd, but not quite fitting in. Largely, because she is a cow of a different species. She's a moose. "We looked out about three weeks ago and said, 'Hey, there's a moose," said Minot, who...
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Caption This... July 4 Tea Party PreparationFollowing on the heels of the highly successful Tea (Taxed Enough Already) Parties, conservatives are again gearing up for a larger national set of Tea Party demonstrations set for July 4. CBS and CNN are of course preparing to ignore it. After working so hard to extort more income from working Americans, Democrats will be on vacation that holiday weekend resting up for the next round of spending. The effort to spend trillions of dollars to ruin American health care will be front and center over the next two weeks which should give CNN...
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YAKIMA, Wash. -- A teacher who sent a 5-year-old student home with a bag of feces in his backpack was issued a formal reprimand, according to a document released Thursday. The student at Apple Valley Elementary arrived home April 17 with a bagged up piece of human feces in his backpack and a note that read, "This little turd was on the floor in my room."
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I have a 1948 Farmall M (that's an old farm tractor for you non-rural types) which I plan to put in the local July 4 parade if it stops raining by then. It has a set of plows mounted on it and I'm looking for ideas for something pithy to say. So far I'm thinking "Plowed under with debt. Thanks, Washington."Suggestions welcome.Back in '04, I pulled a manure spreader with a sign on it that said "Political Promises Here". Got lots of thumbs up along the route. The turd hearse has since been given away, unfortunately.
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I have found Michael Jackson's "secret girlfriend". Yes she does in fact exist. She lived in Neverland. Here is her picture. View her here only on Free Republic! Sources out of Neverland say that her name is in fact "Tinkerbell" but uses the nickname "Tink". Her body was modeled after the late actress "Marilyn Monroe". It is reported that Michael Jackson would sneak off to Neverland to meet with Miss Tinkerbell for late night rendevous when ever possible. It in not confirmed but it may be that Miss Tinkerbell is the mother of Jackson's third child "Blanket" Jackson.
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U.S. President Barack Obama speaks during a forum on healthcare at Northern Virginia Community College in Annandale, Virginia, July 1, 2009. Senior advisor to U.S. President Barack Obama Valerie Jarrett listens as Obama speaks during a forum on healthcare at Northern Virginia Community College in Annandale, Virginia July 1, 2009. President Barack Obama hugs Debby Smith, 53, from Appalachia, Va., after she asks him about her health care during a town hall meeting at the Northern Virginia Community College in Annandale, Va., Wednesday, July 1, 2009.
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Have I told you lately that I'm a black guy? Can I serve you some more pie in the sky? I gush forth "cool" and "vibrance" Like a million fire hydrants. Ease your guilt trip , that's what I do Have I told you lately that I'm a black guy? Last year, when I said "Jump!", y'all asked "how high"?Damn, you folks were easy- You'd have voted for George and Weezy. Soothe your self loathing, that's what I do. Have I told you lately how I scammed you?" Hell, I mean even my minister "God damned" you!I could spit in...
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It doesn't bother Hayden Panettiere that a tattoo artist misspelled her tattoo. The 19-year-old 'Heroes' star wanted live without regret written in Italian on her side but what she got was "Vivere Senza Rimipianti" and rimipianti has one "I" too many. Hayden Panettiere has been showing off a misspelled tattoo, inked on to her side in Italian, as she soaks up the sun in Cannes, France on May 19, 2009. But the actress isn't phased, according to WENN. "It is misspelled, whatever, I just put my own spin to it. Chances are I'll probably get it fixed, but that's why...
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Dear Diary, It seems a handful of Americans arent getting on to the Hope and Change bandwagon along with those enlightened worshippers folks who voted for Me last November. Not only are they criticizing My policy of not meddling with oppressive dictators in Honduras and Iran while telling Israel what to do, but theyre also not happy with the way Im causing the economy to tank so that socialism will seem like the only answer to our problems. Who do they think they are? Let Me be perfectly clear: I WON. Get used to it. Whats even more upsetting these...
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Best Movie Line EverClip is 24 seconds long.
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This is a peculiar clod example..
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State police in New York say two Pennsylvania men robbed a gas station and might have gotten away if they had also fueled up.
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Former Beauty Pageant Queen Sues Over Release of Sex Video Hemingford, NB - Nebraskan beauty queen Melissa Rogers filed suit today over the release of videos believed to have been taken by her former boyfriend, Raymond St. James, during some of the couples more intimate encounters. In the suit it is alleged that Miss Rogers her modelling career has suffered irrevocable harm causing her to seek more than $1 million in damages plus an unspecified sum for emotional distress. ...
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Dear Mahmoud, You suck. Freegards, Fatima
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We all need friends; this is an animated video with humor!
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Welcome To.... 'Amy's Place' welcomes all poets and those who enjoy poetry.'Amy's Place' is more than just about poetry.Come in, relax, and share with fellow FReepersyour thoughts about any of the things on the *Menu*. Enjoy! :) Never Forget! Bad Penny Amy's personal guardian ~ the ever charming, lovable, huggable, LouieWolf Many thanks for stopping by. : )
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Fans Flock To Famous Harlem Theater For Public Remembrance, Thousands Line 125th Street Fans from all over gathered to pay tribute to Michael Jackson at Harlem's historic Apollo Theater on Tuesday, where more than 40 years ago, the Jackson Five launched its career, and effectively, a new era in pop music with the introduction to Michael.
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Help! The following two MP3s outline a song that I just cannot place. My son (Jimi Hendrix, II) was forcing me to play bass and it popped up - I cannot for the life of me come up with a song title. Any help would be appreciated - I figure it'll take about a minute for someone to name it. Starting stopwatch now! ;-) I did two takes so you get two takes (Dialups be warned - they're ~ 1MB each ... Mystery_Song_1.mp3 Mystery_Song_1a.mp3
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Near the Ross Sea, Antarctica - Scientists studying wildlife here on the antarctic ice shelf were overjoyed recently at what many believe to be the discovery of a new breed of penguin. FULL ARTICLE: http://bunnynewsnetwork.wordpress.com/2009/06/30/scientists-elated-fearful-over-discovery-of-new-species/
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The photo below captures a disturbing trend that is beginning to affect U.S. wildlife.Animals that were formerly self-sufficient are now showing signs of belonging to the Democrat Party . . . as they have apparently learned to just sit and wait for the government to step in and provide for their care and sustenance. This photo is of a Democrat black bear in Montana nicknamed Bearack Obearma.
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In the mating world of yellow dung flies, large, brawny males almost always get the girl. However, a new study suggests that smaller males rule if presented with an opportunity to woo females when they are not hanging out on cow dung. It is the first time alternative male reproductive strategies have been observed in this species.
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YouTube video: Nanny Tax Rap
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SAN JOSE, Calif. - A shambling sentence about sea fellows who bellow took top honors in an annual contest celebrating bad writing. David McKenzie, a 55-year-old Washington man, won grand prize in San Jose State University's 27th Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest with this: "Folks say that if you listen real close at the height of the full moon, when the wind is blowin' off Nantucket Sound from the nor' east and the dogs are howlin' for no earthly reason, you can hear the awful screams of the crew of the "Ellie May," a sturdy whaler Captained by John McTavish; for it...
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Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest 2009 Results"Folks say that if you listen real close at the height of the full moon, when the wind is blowin' off Nantucket Sound from the nor' east and the dogs are howlin' for no earthly reason, you can hear the awful screams of the crew of the "Ellie May," a sturdy whaler Captained by John McTavish; for it was on just such a night when the rum was flowin' and, Davey Jones be damned, big John brought his men on deck for the first of several screaming contests." David McKenzie Federal Way, WA The winner of...
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All-Obama Network to be Introduced in 2010 by Edna Mode Dahhhling Get Ready for the the 24-Hour Barack Obama Channel. Set to Debut in January 2010, the "Barack Obama Channel" will feature the following programs: 1. A Day in the Life of Barack Obama 2. My Girls: A reality show featuring Obama's wife and daughters. 3, Obama Jeopardy: An all-Obama version of the popular quiz show, hosted by Jon Stewart 4. The Daily Press Conference 5. Q&A With Barack Obama 6, TOTUS: An instructional guide to successfully program a teleprompter 7, White House Tour: Hosted by Keith Olbermann 8, Obama...
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Worms usually come out when it rains, but this man knows another way to get them out of the ground. Gary Revell is worm grunting - an unusual method that helps him catch worms. He pounds a wooden stake, called a stob, into the ground and levels his 10-pound flat iron over the top. Then he slowly, rhythmically, rubs the iron over the stob, back and forth. He's making the ground vibrate, and after a short while, earthworms start to climb out of the soil. Gary Revell, Worm Grunter: "There's an art to it, you know. I've tried to teach...
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Michael Jackson's spirit lives on inside a Filipino jail. Tourists flocked to the prison in Cebu, south of Manila, Saturday for an elaborate tribute performed by hundreds of inmates in orange prison garb who became an Internet sensation in 2007 for their jailhouse "Thriller" performance.
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(2009-06-27) — Senate Republicans today introduced an “innovative alternative” to the 1,300-page cap-and-trade climate change bill which passed the House 219-212 virtually-unread Friday night as the nation sat transfixed by wall-to-wall coverage of the death of an iconic pop singer. Supporters said the GOP-sponsored ‘Michael Jackson Energy Act’ will clear away a raft of environmental regulations that currently discourage construction of nuclear power plants, and will spark energy independence while reducing emissions of so-called greenhouse gases.The 1,897-page Michael Jackson Energy bill includes more than a thousand pages of uninformed speculation about the cause of the performer’s death, gossip about the...
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Another month, another tax lien for Duane Dog Chapman. The Honolulu-based TV bounty hunter and his wife Alice E. Smith, known as Beth Chapman, owe $1.8 million to the Internal Revenue Service on 2006 and 2007 income, according to a federal tax lien recorded May 19 by the Hawaii Bureau of Conveyances. The liens come five months after liens totalling more than $2 million were filed in Hawaii against the Chapmans for unpaid taxes from 2002 through 2005. The Chapmans Los Angeles-based accountant, Dennis Duban, told PBN in February that some of the federal tax bills had already been paid...
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I'm simply stuned, STUNED, by all the vanity pots today.
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A healthy adult bladder can hold up to 16 ounces (2 cups) of urine comfortably, according to the National Institutes of Health. How frequently it fills depends on how much excess water your body is trying to get rid of. Circular muscles called sphincters close tightly to keep urine from leaking. The involuntary leakage of urine is called incontinence. Nerves in the bladder tell you when it is time to empty it. The sensation becomes stronger as the bladder continues to fill and reaches its limit. When you urinate, the brain signals the sphincter muscles to relax. At the same...
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Cheerleading safety efforts have led to modest reductions in the number of serious injuries in recent years, according to a new report about college and high school sports and cheerleading mishaps. But cheerleading continues to cause more serious and deadly injuries by far than other sports. Researchers have long known how dangerous cheerleading is, but records were poorly kept until recently. An update to the record-keeping system last year found that between 1982 and 2007, there were 103 fatal, disabling or serious injuries recorded among female high school athletes, with the vast majority (67) occurring in cheerleading. The next most...
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