http://www.freerepublic.com/tag/humor-news/ en-us Mon, 6 Jul 2009 11:11:40 GMT Focus Forum 15 http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2286372/posts Listen carefully and you can hear Pres. Obama’s internal dialogue: “who is the soon-to-be-former advance man who roped me into this?” Morning Joe interrupted its panel’s banter today to bring live coverage of Pres. Obama participating in a wreath-laying ceremony in Moscow at the tomb of Russia’s unknown soldier. There was PBO, forced to walk at an unnaturally slow place, stuck behind a goose-stepping Russian soldier even younger and more fresh-faced than he. Comic relief was provided by a portly fellow shambling along screen right carrying a briefcase [the Russian nuclear "football" perhaps?] View video here. FinkelBlog http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2286372/posts#comment Mon, 6 Jul 2009 11:11:40 GMT http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2286325/posts July 06, 2009 Let's cap and trade oxygen! By James Lewis Enough already with carbon cap and trade. I say let's cap oxygen, and then tax any family that can't achieve the Average Family Oxygen Target of 80% BOOTS (Before Obama Oxygen Trading Scheme). Remember, if you weren't inhaling all that O2 you wouldn't be belching out clouds of noxious CO2. Yuck. Yes, I know oil refineries smell bad and coal looks dirty. But none of that carbon would ever see the light of day if it weren't for all the oxygen you suck in, you greed bucket. So let's... American Thinker http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2286325/posts#comment Mon, 6 Jul 2009 06:06:04 GMT http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2286151/posts WEST PALM BEACH, Fla. – Many Americans from coast-to-coast turned Independence Day 2009 into a "counterattack" against what they call the high-spending, freedom-shrinking policies of President Barack Obama and members of Congress, irrespective of party affiliation. With some 2,000 rallies taking place in all 50 states, cities such as West Palm Beach, Fla., were typical of the angst vented against recent government action. Approximately 1,000 people turned out in this affluent region for an evening featuring brief speeches and hundreds of homemade signs. Among those carrying a placard was Barbara Allen of Juno Beach, Fla. Get ready for Sept. 12!... wnd.com http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2286151/posts#comment Sun, 5 Jul 2009 22:59:17 GMT http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2286053/posts Iowahawk - YouTube http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2286053/posts#comment Sun, 5 Jul 2009 19:24:51 GMT http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2285683/posts KEY WEST, Fla. – A sea turtle named after President Barack Obama that was rescued just before Inauguration Day has been set free on Independence Day. Obama the loggerhead sea turtle was found ailing off a Key West beach on Jan. 19, the eve of the inauguration. Suffering from an intestinal impaction, the 200-pound female was nursed back to health with a diet of squid and mineral oil at the Turtle Hospital in Marathon. Turtle Hospital administrator Ryan Butts said the turtle was set free Saturday on a Key West beach as about 100 people watched. He says it was... AP http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2285683/posts#comment Sun, 5 Jul 2009 00:21:21 GMT http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2285656/posts WASHINGTON (AP) - Just in time for the document’s 233rd anniversary, President Barack Obama has issued an executive order apologizing to Great Britain for America’s Declaration of Independence in 1776. IMAO http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2285656/posts#comment Sat, 4 Jul 2009 23:03:09 GMT http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2285498/posts Los Angeles is a city in mourning. And by that we mean Los Angeles is a city with dollar-signs spinning in its neon eyeballs, thanking its lucky stars on the Hollywood Walk of Fame for the Celebrity Death of the Century. What with the housing market and the Dow Jones and the unemployment figures, it couldn’t have come at a better time. With only three days to go before the Funeral To End All Funerals — or the Memorial To End All Memorials, as it might more accurately be called — this city has suddenly found itself the direct recipient... The Times (UK) http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2285498/posts#comment Sat, 4 Jul 2009 17:04:58 GMT http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2285336/posts DAD, WHAT's UNABHANGIKEITSTAG? "Is that when the thirteen colonies broke away from England?" My ten year inquired out of nowhere at 6 AM German time this morning. "Yeah, why do you want to know, eat your breakfast," I mumbled, too sleepy to be very curious. "Because I am afraid my teacher will ask me, since I am wearing this T-shirt and I'm the only American in the class." With an effort, I adjusted my gaze upward to his white T-shirt. It was brand new. Prominent on his breast was an image of the flag and below that: OLD NAVY FREEDOM... vanity http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2285336/posts#comment Sat, 4 Jul 2009 10:44:18 GMT http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2285128/posts The Top Ten Reasons Sarah Palin is Resigning.... 10.Her mounting legal bills make it difficult to relax on her porch and stare at Russia. 9. She wants to raise Michael Jackson's children. 8. To pursue her goal of becoming a Tina Fey impersonator. 7. She wants to take time to learn all of her children's names. 6. Has an opportunity to teach "winking 101" at Harvard's political science department. 5. After returning all of her campaign attire, she's out of things to wear. 4. To start her own line of lip stick for pitbulls. 3. Wants to pick off David... The Examiner http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2285128/posts#comment Fri, 3 Jul 2009 23:18:58 GMT http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2285094/posts (2009-07-03) — Sarah Palin today announced she would step down as Governor of Alaska in order to spend more time with CBS News anchor Katie Couric, ABC News anchor Charlie Gibson and several unnamed former staffers from John McCain’s presidential campaign. “We all have our priorities in life,” said the former Republican vice presidential candidate. “I met so many interesting people during the presidential race and many of them still have the same commitment toward me that they had during the campaign.” Gov. Palin said she looks forward to “relaxing, fishing, hunting and just generally giving people something to Twitter... http://www.scrappleface.com http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2285094/posts#comment Fri, 3 Jul 2009 21:56:36 GMT http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2285053/posts Harry Reid Won't Commit to Giving Public a Week to Read Health-Care Bill Before Senate Votes on It Friday, June 26, 2009 By Monica Gabriel and Marie Magleby Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-Nev.) at a pen-and-pad news conference, June 25, 2009. (CNSNews.com photo/Penny Starr) (CNSNews.com) – Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D- Nev.) will not commit to giving senators and the public a full week to read and review the final version of a health-care reform bill before he holds a final vote on it. Reid confessed at his Thursday news briefing that he did not have “a lot... CNS NEWS.com http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2285053/posts#comment Fri, 3 Jul 2009 20:35:46 GMT http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2284971/posts Deals offered by the Washington Post For $25K, Boswell will let Manny Acta tattoo a Nat's W on his ass. For $500K, Charles Krauthammer will write a series of columns advocating war with a country of your choosing. For only $10,000 the WaPo will review your stimulus package and they won't mention that it promotes socialism! For $25k, we'll have Woodward write a book on you. For $250k, it will actually be complimentary. For $5000, WaPo will let you write the same psychopathic op-ed http://tr.im/qD3b that you wrote in WSJ 3wks ago http://tr.im/qD3y For $200K Katharine Graham will rise from... Twitter http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2284971/posts#comment Fri, 3 Jul 2009 18:12:10 GMT http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2284684/posts PERTH brothels are increasing staff to contend with the arrival of two US warships carrying more than 5400 sailors. Nuclear powered aircraft carrier USS George Washington and guided missile cruiser USS Cowpens docked off Fremantle yesterday. Prevalent in groups of five or six on the streets of Perth today, some sailors were asking locals: "Where do you go to party?". Business groups estimate the sailors' arrival will boost the local economy to the tune of $5 million during the ships' five-day stay. The owner of Perth brothel Langtrees, Beverly Clarke, said today she had put on five extra staff for... The Australian http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2284684/posts#comment Fri, 3 Jul 2009 07:30:45 GMT http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2284384/posts John Smith started the day early having set his alarm clock (MADE IN JAPAN) for 6 am. While his coffeepot (MADE IN CHINA) was perking, he shaved with his electric razor. (MADE IN HONG KONG) He put on a dress shirt (MADE IN SRI LANKA) designer jeans (MADE IN SINGAPORE) and tennis shoes (MADE IN KOREA) After cooking his breakfast in his new electric skillet (MADE IN INDIA) he sat down with his calculator (MADE IN MEXICO) to see how much he could spend today. After setting his watch (MADE IN TAIWAN) to the radio (MADE IN INDIA) he got... Email http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2284384/posts#comment Thu, 2 Jul 2009 20:21:55 GMT http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2284358/posts Like the wool sweater that emerges from the dryer a size too small, global warming seems to be shrinking sheep. Associated Press http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2284358/posts#comment Thu, 2 Jul 2009 20:00:03 GMT http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2284211/posts WASHINGTON - The President's landmark 'Cap and Trade' bill faces an uncertain fate this week, as congressional backers of the carbon-limiting legislation face mounting opposition from a myriad of interest groups angered by its controversial ritual virgin sacrifice provision. Continued Iowahawk http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2284211/posts#comment Thu, 2 Jul 2009 17:03:43 GMT http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2284125/posts MINNEAPOLIS, MN – Al Franken was approved Tuesday to join the US Senate. The Democratic Party will now involve him in their secret plans. The Minnesota Supreme Court ratified Al Franken yesterday as having won the Senatorial election seven months ago. Incumbent Norm Coleman, having exhausted all legal channels except for the Minnesota Thunderdome, finally conceded the race, saying only, “Next time Franken. Next time.” The Democrats welcomed Franken into their upper echelons of power with a decoder ring and other perks. In a private ceremony involving robes and jasmine scented aromatherapy candles, Franken was sworn in as a Democrat... Weekly World News http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2284125/posts#comment Thu, 2 Jul 2009 15:26:14 GMT http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2284095/posts Senator-elect Al Franken (D-MN) on Sen. Inhofe calling him a clown: "I don't know how Sen. Inhofe regards clowns, but it might be an incredible compliment."Franken calls Judge Sotomayor a "mainstream" candidate for the Supreme Court.Franken also says he will support the Employee Free Choice Act. Franken is a strong union supporter. The Senator-elect also hints he will support Obama's plan for health reform. Real Clear Politics http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2284095/posts#comment Thu, 2 Jul 2009 14:54:47 GMT http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2284086/posts Many of you will know Aldi, the international retail giant owned by two reclusive German billionaires (hence the "Deutsche Küche" German delicatessen special purchases from time to time). Some because you shop there regularly, others because you read in the Wall Street Journal how they drove Walmart out of Germany (Legend has it that Aldi is the only company Walmart is afraid of because their overhead is so very low that they cannot beat them on price.). Of course they offer 4th of July BBQ items on their US web page as well. But did you know that Aldi celebrates... www.aldi-sued.de http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2284086/posts#comment Thu, 2 Jul 2009 14:43:47 GMT http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2283781/posts Examiner Columnist | 6/30/09 5:55 AM News fairly unbalanced. We report. You decipher. President Obama's Supreme Court nominee, Judge Sonia Sotomayor, announced today she may sue her potential future colleagues for racial bias over yesterday's 5-4 ruling that overturned her own decision in the New Haven fire fighters discrimination lawsuit. The Supreme Court ruled in Ricci v. DeStefano Monday that an employer could not throw out the results of a promotion exam simply for fear of a lawsuit from racial minorities who fared poorly on the test. Sotomayor accused the high court's "Constitutional literalists" of bias and an "abject lack... Washington Examiner http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2283781/posts#comment Thu, 2 Jul 2009 01:54:33 GMT http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2283729/posts Now that Al Franken is headed for the Senate, which Franken will show up in Washington? AP http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2283729/posts#comment Thu, 2 Jul 2009 00:44:40 GMT http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2283582/posts I grew up in Cleveland. Guess where I am now? YouTube http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2283582/posts#comment Wed, 1 Jul 2009 21:23:29 GMT http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2283380/posts CBS' Chip Reid and Helen Thomas double teamed Robert Gibbs today at the daily press briefing on the "tightly controlled" town hall meeting President Obama will hold on health care. Gibbs kept saying lets have this discussion AFTER the meeting. Helen Thomas accused the White House of "controlling the press." She said almost all White House/Obama events are "prepackaged." She accused the White House of not "having any answers." Real Clear Politics http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2283380/posts#comment Wed, 1 Jul 2009 17:10:10 GMT http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2283186/posts Lawyers for the Audubon Society filed a class action suit today in the Ninth Federal Circuit against the United States Environmental Protection Agency, 37 electrical utilities, 13 petroleum and natural gas companies as well as Alaska Governor Sara Palin. The suit, filed on behalf of the tens of billions of trees found within the United States claims that they have undergone irreparable harm over the decades due to exposure to the pollutant, carbon dioxide. In brief, the suit states that the parties should have known of the damaging effects of carbon dioxide and their willful disregard of the overwhelming evidence... EP News Service (EcoPhreak) http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2283186/posts#comment Wed, 1 Jul 2009 13:02:39 GMT http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2283148/posts Author’s Note - In response to my last two columns, 88 Duke University professors have issued a joint statement condemning gay racism at Duke. The professors wanted to shed light on the gay Duke Administrator accused of molesting his black adopted son. They believe his actions must be seen as one part of a larger set of pathologies at Duke. Their statement follows in its entirety:We are listening to our students. We’re also listening to the Durham community, to Duke Staff, and to each other. Regardless of the results of the police investigation, what is apparent everyday now is the... Townhall.com http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2283148/posts#comment Wed, 1 Jul 2009 11:51:10 GMT