http://www.freerepublic.com/tag/humor/ en-us Fri, 1 Jan 2010 21:53:16 GMT Focus Forum 15 http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-bloggers/2419164/posts WASHINGTON, DC – Today, in an effort to show that he is taking the threat of Man Made Disasters more seriously than the last administration, President Barack Obama named Thulsa Doom, the evil cult leader in Conan the Barbarian, the Explosive Underwear Czar at the White House. Feed Your ADHD http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-bloggers/2419164/posts#comment Fri, 1 Jan 2010 21:53:16 GMT http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-bloggers/2418939/posts Captain’s log, stardate 4513.3. After having been taken over by an android, the Enterprise has been underway at warp 7 for four days. Now, we are entering orbit around a planet which has never been charted. IMAO http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-bloggers/2418939/posts#comment Fri, 1 Jan 2010 14:46:49 GMT http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/2418849/posts EVERETT, Wash. -- How's this for a date from hell? A woman seduces you, leaves you naked and takes off with your valuables, including your car. Police say that's just what Ashley Dawson did to an unsuspecting man. The alleged victim, Andrew Scarbrough, says it appears he went looking for love in all the wrong places, including the Internet. He hoped he'd found love when he met a woman on MySpace. The two met in person, and they went back to his place. He says they began to get intimate, and shedding their clothes. That's when things went wrong in... 2news.tv http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/2418849/posts#comment Fri, 1 Jan 2010 07:22:40 GMT http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-bloggers/2418629/posts We have only one.Since the U.S. spent a failed decade chasing this goat-humping bastard, we’ll go out on a limb and say that 2010 — despite the obvious handicap we have in our Commander in Thief — is the year we get lucky and send Obama bin Laden’s a$$ to meet his 72 virgins … and they’ll all look like this. Feed Your ADHD http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-bloggers/2418629/posts#comment Thu, 31 Dec 2009 22:15:36 GMT http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2418526/posts OBOGO - Remove the 'mover' rather than fighting his every move! http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2418526/posts#comment Thu, 31 Dec 2009 19:11:53 GMT http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/2418036/posts It was a year of Hope -- at first in the sense of ``I feel hopeful!'' and later in the sense of ``I hope this year ends soon!'' It was also a year of Change, especially in Washington, where the tired old hacks of yesteryear finally yielded the reins of power to a group of fresh, young, idealistic, new-idea outsiders such as Nancy Pelosi. As a result Washington, rejecting ``business as usual,'' finally stopped trying to solve every problem by throwing billions of taxpayer dollars at it and instead started trying to solve every problem by throwing trillions of taxpayer... www.miamiherald.com http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/2418036/posts#comment Thu, 31 Dec 2009 00:45:29 GMT http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-backroom/2418213/posts Frankfurt, Germany, December 6 -- A rather bizarre study carried out by German researchers suggests that staring at women's breasts is good for men's health and increases their life expectancy. According to Dr. Karen Weatherby, a gerontologist and author of the study, gawking at women’s breasts is a healthy practice, almost at par with an intense exercise regime, that prolongs the lifespan of a man by five years. She added, "Just 10 minutes of staring at the charms of a well-endowed female, is roughly equivalent to a 30-minute aerobics work-out." A five-year research on 500 men Researchers at three hospitals... The Med Guru http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-backroom/2418213/posts#comment Thu, 31 Dec 2009 07:47:07 GMT http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/2417706/posts "After much discussion and an in-depth tri-partisan Blue Ribbon Panel Investigation lasting 72 hours, the White House today released it’s findings on the 8 Terrorist attacks in the last 6 months of the year: 1.The last Administration is responsible for not doing enough or doing too much depending on what was done. 2.Calling the Terrorists, well Terrorists, has hurt their itty bitty little feelings and made them “madder than a wet hen”. 3.All of the individuals involved have used, gasp, letters in their names. Some have even had the audacity to use multiple vowels! 4.Many have used garments to conceal... The Prison Planet Journal http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/2417706/posts#comment Wed, 30 Dec 2009 16:39:21 GMT http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2416143/posts Winning Quotes in the MRC's Best of NQ Annual Awards for the Year's Worst Reporting By: Brent Baker December 28, 2009 02:10 ET   The winning quotes in the MRC's “Best Notable Quotables of 2009: The Twenty-Second Annual Awards for the Year's Worst Reporting.” As announced in a CyberAlert Special last Monday, the awards issue was posted, with videos, on Monday, December 21, but following tradition, today, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday -- the last weekdays of the year -- MRC.org's BiasAlert and corresponding CyberAlert e-mail newsletter will run the winning quotes followed on succeeding days by the runners-up. The page... The Media Research Center http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2416143/posts#comment Mon, 28 Dec 2009 09:32:56 GMT http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2416066/posts As my brother Kevin headed off to Christmas Eve Mass in the Maryland suburbs, I asked him how he thought the first year of Barack Obama had gone. He didn’t have to pray long over that one. “Fine,” he replied, “if you like unmitigated disasters like the Hindenburg and the Redskins season.” If it’s Christmas, it must be time for my conservative brother to take over my column and turn it a blazing shade of red. So without further ado, here is Kevin unplugged, offering a perspective from “the real America,” as one of his favorite Republican philosophers, Sarah Palin,... The New York Times http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2416066/posts#comment Mon, 28 Dec 2009 04:08:39 GMT http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2415984/posts As the lone journalist on Sunday's Meet the Press roundtable (with Newt Gingrich, Michael Bloomberg and Deval Patrick), NBC's Andrea Mitchell insisted the “Obama Doctrine” has “borne fruit,” but “it is not perceived yet” -- though the President has already “united the world behind the United States.” Citing all those who “camped out” for the Sarah Palin book signings, Mitchell denigrated her appeal as evidence of how “they are so hungry for a symbol for anyone who can give them answers” it shows “there's an anger out there” she hasn't seen since George Wallace in 1968. And that, she maintained,... Newsbusters.org http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2415984/posts#comment Mon, 28 Dec 2009 00:38:19 GMT http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2415942/posts ABC News' Yunji de Nies Reports: White House sources tell ABC News the President will "likely" speak publicly about the alleged attempted terrorist attack on Flight 253 in the next few days. The President is on vacation in his native state of Hawaii - he has received regularly briefings on the incident and called for increased security for air travel, along with a full review of the terror watch list procedures. While the White House is adamant that the President is actively engaged on the incident behind the scenes, on Saturday he spent more than four hours on the golf... ABCNews http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2415942/posts#comment Sun, 27 Dec 2009 23:07:48 GMT http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/2415537/posts This has probably been posted before, but I just saw it for the first time as a former resident of Texas YouTube http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/2415537/posts#comment Sun, 27 Dec 2009 00:45:22 GMT http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2415287/posts Charles Dickens wrote A Christmas Carol as an indictment of nineteenth century industrialization and economic social classes. The following is a modern take on the tale exploring a different issue. Yes! and the bedpost was his own. The bed was his own, the room was his own. Best and happiest of all, the Time before him was his own, to make amends in! “All of the Bill of Rights shall be sacred to me and I will defend every free man’s right to keep and bear arms!” Scrooge repeated as he scrambled out of bed. “Oh, Jacob Marley! Heaven be... Cleveland Gun Rights Examiner http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2415287/posts#comment Sat, 26 Dec 2009 14:32:41 GMT http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/2415140/posts <p>Seattle doesn’t like to say No. (Look how many times we tried to say Yes to the monorail.) But that doesn’t mean we’re a city without no-nos.</p> <p>Newcomers to Seattle quickly find that we’re a cultural minefield of prejudice and political correctness that can blow up in your face if you misstep. So here’s a list of conversation stoppers — things you just can’t say in polite company. Clip and save this column; it may save you from social banishment or worse.</p> crosscut.com http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/2415140/posts#comment Sat, 26 Dec 2009 01:02:31 GMT http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-bloggers/2415111/posts The scientific evidence is everywhere we look -- in our vanishing polar ice caps, in our melting greasepaint, in the way our lapel flowers struggle to squirt. Man-made climate change is upon us, and if we do not act at once Earth itself faces an immediate catastrophic ecological pie in the face. iowahawk http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-bloggers/2415111/posts#comment Fri, 25 Dec 2009 23:15:31 GMT http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2414973/posts Charles Dickens wrote A Christmas Carol as an indictment of nineteenth century industrialization and economic social classes. The following is a modern take on the tale exploring a different issue. The Phantom slowly, gravely, silently, approached. When it came near him, Scrooge bent down upon his knee; for in the very air through which this Spirit moved it seemed to scatter gloom and mystery. It was shrouded in a deep black garment, which concealed its head, its face, its form, and left nothing of it visible save one outstretched hand. But for this it would have been difficult to detach... Cleveland Gun Rights Examiner http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2414973/posts#comment Fri, 25 Dec 2009 16:03:29 GMT http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2414790/posts Dear Friends And Far-Flung Family, What a year of “hope and change” it has been. Just one year ago we had a president whose approval rating was below 50 percent, health care reform was politically unpopular and it looked like the war in Afghanistan would go on forever. Just look how far we’ve come! Sasha and Malia love living in the White House. It’s even better now that they have their new friend in the White House, too. He’s cute, he’s dopey, he’s always making messes for us to clean up, but what can you say? He’s the vice president,... Boston Herald http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2414790/posts#comment Fri, 25 Dec 2009 02:07:56 GMT http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-bloggers/2414653/posts So far, many courts have avoided the issue of dealing with the merits of whether or not Obama is legally eligible to occupy the office of President by denying "standing" to those wishing to press the issue. It seems to me that no court could argue that a person does not have "standing" to defend themselves from someone who pretends to assume the power of life and death decisions over them. Just look at how difficult it is to execute those sentenced to death by our courts due to the endless legal appeals they force on the system. These folks... self http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-bloggers/2414653/posts#comment Thu, 24 Dec 2009 20:27:10 GMT http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2414431/posts Charles Dickens wrote A Christmas Carol as an indictment of nineteenth century industrialization and economic social classes. The following is a modern take on the tale exploring a different issue. Awaking in the middle of a prodigiously tough snore, and sitting up in bed to get his thoughts together, Scrooge had no occasion to be told that the bell was again upon the stroke of One. He felt that he was restored to consciousness in the right nick of time, for the especial purpose of holding a conference with the second messenger dispatched to him through Jacob Marley’s intervention. He... Cleveland Gun Rights Examiner http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2414431/posts#comment Thu, 24 Dec 2009 14:14:06 GMT http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2413625/posts Charles Dickens wrote A Christmas Carol as an indictment of nineteenth century industrialization and economic social classes. The following is a modern take on the tale exploring a different issue. When Scrooge awoke it was so dark that he could hardly make out where the walls ended and the window began. He was just trying to discern which way was up when he heard the chimes of Marley’s old clock downstairs begin to ring and listened to learn the hour. To his astonishment, the chimes continued to intone, six, seven, eight, all the way to twelve. Yet, how could this... Cleveland Gun Rights Examiner http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2413625/posts#comment Wed, 23 Dec 2009 11:40:23 GMT http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-bloggers/2412909/posts This is a cute little photo that was emailed to me. Think snowman! Merry Christmas FREEPERS! Dittos Rush! http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-bloggers/2412909/posts#comment Tue, 22 Dec 2009 13:57:21 GMT http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/2412129/posts Top Twenty Five Features of ObamaCare 1. Medical degrees from Devry. 2. Mandatory organ donor cards. 3. Lighters used to sterilize syringes. 4. Stomach stapling done at Office Max. 5. Coin operated morphine dispensers. 6. Tap water is a plasma substitute. 7. Homeless people all have only one kidney. 8. Free cremation with any major operation. 9. Bunkbeds in the Intensive Care Unit. 10. Your first dose of narcotics is free. 11. Special "showers" for the elderly. 12. Tongue depressors taste like Popsicles. 13. None of the nurses speak English. 14. The hospital cafeteria failed its health inspection. 15. Ambulances... The Barack Obama Jokes Website http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/2412129/posts#comment Mon, 21 Dec 2009 12:30:20 GMT http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2412846/posts That Marley was dead there could be no doubt. All the papers carried the news, the coroner had performed a thorough autopsy, and Scrooge himself had identified the body and bore witness at the funeral. Was Scrooge certain in his identification? Of course he was! Scrooge and Marley had been friends for more years than either could remember and both considered the other to be family. In reality, each others’ only friend and the only family either cared to associate with. Marley was a long time politician spending many years at different levels of politics, holding the office of U.S.... Cleveland Gun Rights Examiner http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2412846/posts#comment Tue, 22 Dec 2009 11:53:00 GMT http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-bloggers/2412222/posts Bah Humbug, Mate! Bethany Stotts, December 21, 2009 While the war on Christmas often means eliminating Christian references from this jolly season, some scholars want Santa to get a makeover as well. In a December British Medical Journal article Dr. Nathan J. Grills and illustrator Brendan Halyday question whether Santa Claus is a “public health pariah.” The author, Dr. Grills, openly objects to “multinational capitalists” who use Santa to advertise unhealthy products such as tobacco, alcohol and sweets. “Epidemiologically there is a correlation between countries that venerate Santa Claus and those that have high levels of childhood obesity,” writes Grills,... Accuracy in Academia http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-bloggers/2412222/posts#comment Mon, 21 Dec 2009 15:10:24 GMT