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Keyword: impaling

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  • Secret Service investigates santanic vampire

    03/13/2007 1:08:40 PM PDT · by SubGeniusX · 51 replies · 933+ views
    Columbia Chronicle ^ | 3/13/07 | Hunter Clauss & Allison Riggio
    The 2008 presidential bid just got a little more challenging for the race’s only satanic vampire candidate. Jonathon “The Impaler” Sharkey, a 42-year-old New Jersey man who is running under the Vampire, Witches and Pagan Party, is currently being investigated by the Secret Service for potential threats toward President George W. Bush. According to Sharkey, Secret Service agents visited him and his 19-year-old wife, Spree, in Ohio on Feb. 15. The visit concerned Sharkey’s repeated remarks about impaling Bush, an act Sharkey said he would only do if he were elected president. “They never even asked to see my impaling...