Free Republic

The last bastion of male dominance in the US Navy is about to be swept into history. While the eyes of the nation are focused on the first woman to have a shot at winning her party's nomination for President, the Department of the Navy has unveiled a project underway since last summer that will put women in submarines. "This is way overdue," insists Lt. Hanne Bright, an up and coming naval officer. She is among 340 female officers and chiefs who have been selected to initiate an abrupt change in Navy policy; the manning of submarines by women. Women...

Chelsea does what her father calls "slip the nip" to try to woo another super delegate into her mother's court. WASHINGTON (CAP) - A week after Hillary Clinton chastised MSNBC reporter David Shuster for saying the Clinton campaign was "pimping out in some sort of weird way" daughter Chelsea Clinton for contacting superdelegates on her mother's behalf, CAP news has learned that the campaign is, indeed, quietly offering up the former First Daughter's company in exchange for committed support at the Denver convention. The "Win A Date With Chelsea" contest will be a raffle in which all committed superdelegates are...

(ACPA-london) Excitement is growing in the Northern England town of Huddlesfield following the news that a local man saw an image of the big-bang in a piece of toast. atheist donald chapman, 36, told local newspaper, "the huddlesfield express" that he was sitting down to eat breakfast when an unusual toast pattern caught his eye. "I was just about to spread the butter when I noticed a fairly typical small hole in the bread surrounded by a burnt black ring. however the direction and splatter patterns of the crumbs as well as the changing shades emanating outwards from this black...

NORTH POLE - Every once in a while, TBNN has the great privilege of interviewing a famous person. Today we are sitting down with one of our favorites, Santa Claus. We at TBNN freely admit that we believe in Santa, and sitting down with old Father Christmas up here in the Arctic only confirms that. TBNN: We are honored to be here. Should we refer to you as Saint Nicholas, Father Christmas, Kris Kringle, or something else? Santa: You can call me whatever you like. Santa is just fine. Have some milk and cookies. TBNN: Thanks. We are amazed that...

COSTA MESA, CA – With the Writers Guild of America about to begin the sixth week of its strike, the nation’s television networks are scrambling to fill gaps in their programming schedules. But the Christian television industry has suffered through a concurrent strike of the Christian Writers Guild, which has staunched the flow of original programming and has cost the industry’s flagship network an estimated $18 million. The strike began on November 7, two days after the WGA strike hit Hollywood. But whereas the Hollywood writers are picketing for a contract that includes a share of revenue generated from Internet...

Dallas, Texas - Dellia Love is a vegan, a "raw vegan" to be precise. The word "vegan", which is taken from from the first and last syllables of the word "vegetarian" is a form of vegetarianism but differs in that vegans eat no animal by-products whatsoever. So as a vegan, Love not only refrains from eating any form of meat, but also from eating anything that comes from any living creature including milk and eggs. Furthermore as a "raw vegan" Love also does not eat any food that has been cooked above a temperature of 40 degrees Celsius. So with...

In an announcement planned for later today, it was learned that ABC will hire conservative Ann Coulter to replace Rosie O'Donnell on "The View". A spokesperson for ABC said, "While exceptionally talented Progressive Rosie O'Donnell was an excellent catalyst for high ratings and lifted us to the pinnacle of daytime television with her wit, charm, warm personality and ability to present rational, thoughtful insight to issues of the day and we'll truly miss her, we think Ann will show America the polar opposite of rational thought with her deep rooted, albeit incorrect, conservative beliefs. We think her conservative views will...

DES MOINES ? Last month, Lori Danes, 43, called the prayer line of a major television ministry and requested prayer for her mother's persistent ulcers. But her prayer representative, who called himself "Darren," prayed in a strong Indian accent that "all the gods would bless her mightily." "I was stunned," Danes says. "It was like I'd called a demon prayer line." The manager of India Prayer Solutions, located in Mumbai, India, apologized for the incident and fired the employee who, he said, had not been properly trained. But dozens of similar incidents have rattled U.S. callers since major ministries began...

NEW YORK— Bible schools again placed near the top of U.S. News and World Report's annual "Least Marketable Degrees" list, slightly behind Amish Technical Institutes. "We consider a lot of factors," said Cheryl Monroe of U.S. News. "We gauge how employers respond to certain schools, and there's no question that one of the worst things you can put on your résumé are the words 'Bible college.'" According to the magazine's reckoning, a Bible college graduate has a 1 in 24,877 chance of landing the same job as a Harvard graduate, all else being equal. That's slightly worse than last year's...

TUSTIN — In the wake of declining tithes and offerings, churches from coast to coast are partnering with corporate sponsors to supplement their budgets, in exchange for high profile if controversial ad placement. "This [offer] couldn't have come at a better time," says Jacob Helsinki, pastor of Mach 4 Baptist Church in Lemon Grove, Wash. His church has sold much of the "visual space" in their facility to advertisers, including the bathroom stalls to Burger King, the rim of the collection plates to Hewlett-Packard and the backs of pews to JollyTime popcorn. "We were facing real cutbacks for our youth...

NASHVILLE — Responding to reader surveys, Thomas Nelson Inc. will begin issuing its popular New Living translation of the Bible minus minor prophets Amos and Nahum. "People just weren't reading them, so it was a fairly easy business decision," says Phyllis Bremley, director of the publisher's Bible arm. "We're not saying those books aren't part of the canon, it's just that if people want to read them they'll have to find them elsewhere." Editors also took their red pens to Leviticus, nipping and trimming "the stuff that has absolutely no relevance to modern American life," says Bremley. "Leviticus reads better...

SPRINGFIELD, Mo. — Calling it a "better use of resources," the General Council of the Assemblies of God voted to spend $2.3 million — their entire 2004 evangelism budget — on converting Madonna. "Dollar for dollar, this is a great plan," said AG spokesman Sean Taylor. "If she gets saved, think of the legions of fans that will follow her." The novel evangelism attempt will include buying space on every billboard near the singer's homes in Los Angeles, New York and London. Some billboards will read, "Madonna, we've got to talk. God," and, "Spiritual girl — has a nice...

BRANSON — In the wake of Big Idea Productions' bankruptcy and sale to new owner Classic Media, VeggieTales characters are struggling to define their post-Big Idea lives. In a modest but clean condominium in Branson, Mo., Bob the Tomato sits on a rented couch and nibbles cheese curls. The window overlooks the busy thoroughfare jammed with tourist traffic. Bob's chin shows three days of stubble, his eyes the emotional scars of a recent bout with depression, but tonight he'll be performing again for the first time since Jonah — A VeggieTales Movie. After bouncing around the country for the past...

Here are two quotes from the article. “I think we should move for impeachment,” said Sen. John Kerry, D-MA. Ignoring an American mother should be an impeachable offense. I think it’s high time we made it one.” “I just know Rush Limbaugh better keep his mouth shut on this protest,” fired Sen. John McCain, R-AZ. “He’s been making far too many excuses for President Bush and this administration. For once, I’d like to see him use some moderation. He’s one of the reason this mother suffers now. But he’ll never see that.”

Smarting from barbed criticisms of the treatment of Jihadis in Gitmo Prison from Senator Dick Durbin (D-Ill.), Senators John McCain (R-Ariz.) and Lindsay Graham (R-S.C.) have introduced legislation aimed at addressing these abuses. “Until Dick spoke up, I didn’t realize that the Gitmo inmates couldn’t get Al-Jazeera on their cable TV,” said McCain. “I heard that the prayer rugs we’ve provided are made of synthetic fiber,” said Graham. “This is highly offensive to devout Muslims.” The McCain/Graham bill would rectify the above cited abuses and as a show of good faith, reward prisoners who refrain from throwing their feces at...

I just heard on the news about this study that they did. The study has an error rate of +/- 3%. According to this study, 47.2% of the population has an annual income that is below the median annual income. What will the liberals do to fix this problem?

An unnamed former top government official told a Newsweek magazine reporter that his story, about a U.S. military guard at Guantanamo prison flushing a Koran down a toilet, was "a slam dunk," according to the latest apology from Newsweek editor Mark Whitaker. The magazine's uncorroborated, single-source, hearsay report of the Koran desecration sparked riots in several Muslim countries, killing at least 15 and injuring perhaps 100. While the magazine has apologized publicly to the riot victims and their families, Mr. Whitaker told the New York Times, "We're not retracting anything. We don't know what the ultimate facts are." For those...

HUMANS EVOLVED FROM PIGS - not from monkeys, new theory states! Charles Darwin was wrong -- humans evolved from pigs, not apes. And that explains the Biblical prohibition against consuming the flesh of our oinking relatives, according to a startling new theory. "It's hard to believe, but you and Porky Pig are kissing cousins," says genetic scientist Dr. Basil Hainwright of London."Dim recollections of a time when we trotted on all fours and rolled in the mud with our family members probably survived into Neolithic times."And so it is hardly surprising that dietary laws making taboo the eating of...

bush is the anti-christ so all u so called "christians" who voted for bush are hipocrits....i sure hope all you un-educated-bush-loving-satan-hugging posers are still happy with your decision after theres a draft taking away all your loved ones to fight in a senseless war...so when you see their bodyparts in black bags you can slap a thank you note on georgies desk!

Pour La Release Immediateness DATELINE VERSAILLES: One day after Donald Rumsfeld made a surprise visit to Iraq, les tout France from Paris Nord to Versailles came to a halt to honor the surprise visit of Mrs. Teresa Heinz Kerry to this sleepy Parisian suburb and former home of the Ancien Regime (AKA "Kings and Queens of France"). Arriving on the personal jet that is not owned by her but by her family, Mrs. Teresa Heinz Kerry (or Mrs. Teresa Kerry-Heinz as she prefers to be known in Europe), was quick to make her way to Versailles II in order to...

Next on CBS!God condemns G.W. Bush In biblical passages just obtained by CBS News, the Almighty issued direct instructions which would seem to condemn the actions of President George Bush's conduct in the Texas Air National Guard. Contemporaries of God have reviewed these documents and confirmed they are in line with His views and manner of expressing Himself. President G.W. Bush has long made known his adherence to biblical teaching, but the White House refused to comment on this apparent discrepancy. Watch for this story on the next 7 weeks of '60 Minutes.'

President Bush today publicly criticized a series of ads produced by outside groups attacking John Kerry's Vietnam War record. Referring to ads produced by the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth, the President said, "Heh heh, boys will be boys, won't they? Well, all I can say is that I wouldn't have done it if I were them." The statement seemed to represent a shift away from the position reflected in the President's previous public statement about the ads, in which he said, "I think the absence from the ads of my folksy voice saying 'Ahm George Bush, and ah ahpprove...

Bush trip cloaked in lies and secrecy Investigators speaking on the condition of anonymity, have confirmed to the Times that a prove has been lunch to determine which laws were broken when President Bush directed his White House staff to lie to aids, Secret Service Agents and even to Reporters in preparation for his public-relations saving trip to Baghdad last Thursday. “The problem is, that here you have the president using the power of his office to deceive not only government officials but even the public, and that is unacceptable regardless of the reason” said one agent with knowledge of...