http://www.freerepublic.com/tag/joke/ en-us Tue, 23 Jun 2009 19:42:22 GMT Focus Forum 15 http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2277759/posts Cop taped beating Chicago bartender gets probation By DON BABWIN Associated Press Writer CHICAGO (AP) -- An off-duty Chicago police officer convicted of pummeling a female bartender half his size was sentenced Tuesday to two years probation and anger management classes for the videotaped attack that appeared worldwide on the Internet and cable news channels. AP http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2277759/posts#comment Tue, 23 Jun 2009 19:42:22 GMT http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-bloggers/2275159/posts Watch, http://www.butasforme.com/2009/06/19/joke-of-the-week-jimmy-kimmel-mocks-the-obama-fly-or-fart/ http://www.butasforme.com/2009/06/19/joke-of-the-week-jimmy-kimmel-mocks-the-obama-fly-or-fart/ http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-bloggers/2275159/posts#comment Fri, 19 Jun 2009 14:56:58 GMT http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2274573/posts June 18, 2009 — A picture of colorfully-plumed dinosaurs graces an article on National Geographic, but were feathers found with the fossil? No; the article said, “Primitive feathers may have covered the dinosaur’s body, but there is no direct evidence for that, noted [James] Clark, whose work was funded in part by the National Geographic Society” (which also owns National Geographic News). The feathers are apparently completely imaginary. National Geographic has been caught doing this before... CEH http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2274573/posts#comment Thu, 18 Jun 2009 18:15:32 GMT http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/2272336/posts 10.) Never fixed that annoying gap between his teeth. 9.) Larry “Bud” Melman never really liked Dave. 8.) Dave is still bitter about not getting the “Tonight Show.” 7.) Jay Leno kicked his butt. 6.) Letterman hasn’t been cool since “Walk like an Egyptian” by the Bangles was at the top of the charts. 5.) He’s bald. The Sun Sentinel http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/2272336/posts#comment Mon, 15 Jun 2009 20:06:04 GMT http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-bloggers/2269872/posts To add to Aye's post here is the video of Letterman's "apology" [video at site]Yeah, he actually meant to "joke" about the 18 year old Bristol having sex with a baseball player rather then 14 year old Willow bring raped (statutory). Makes sense right seeing as how Bristol was NOT at the game he referenced but Willow was. Give me a break. His exact words: One awkward moment for Sarah Palin at the Yankee game, during the seventh inning, her daughter was knocked up by Alex Rodriguez. Nope, no confusing that one no matter how much he lies in an... Flopping Aces http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-bloggers/2269872/posts#comment Thu, 11 Jun 2009 21:17:44 GMT http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/2268490/posts An American, a Japanese and a Canadian were sitting naked in a sauna when suddenly there was a beeping sound. The American pressed his forearm, and the beep stopped. The others looked at him questioningly. “That was my pager he said. “I have a microchip under the skin of my arm.” Funny Email http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/2268490/posts#comment Wed, 10 Jun 2009 03:49:48 GMT http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2262491/posts As we all know, the Obama administration seems to have solidified the direction of fuel economy and emissions regulations for the next decade. An automaker’s “fleet average” - i.e. the average fuel economy of all the vehicles an automaker sells adjusted by sales volume - must be 35.5 mpg by 2016 (up from 2009’s fleet requirement of 25 mpg). At first blush, this looks like a death sentence for big powerful trucks like the Tundra. autospies http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2262491/posts#comment Mon, 1 Jun 2009 23:14:54 GMT http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2260978/posts TORONTO (Reuters) – Former U.S. Presidents George W. Bush and Bill Clinton traded jokes about life after the Oval Office and took turns defending each other as they shared a stage in Toronto on Friday to discuss global affairs. In a sold-out event billed as their first conversation on stage since they left office, Bush and Clinton disagreed politely about a couple of issues, backed each other on others and refused to criticize anything current President Barack Obama was doing. Bush's vice president, Dick Cheney, has emerged as one of Obama's toughest critics and the staunchest defender of the Bush... Reuters on Yahoo http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2260978/posts#comment Sat, 30 May 2009 01:50:25 GMT http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/2248077/posts What did you think of Obama's crack about former Vice President Dick Cheney? Thumbs up Thumbs down And 2 other questions aol.com http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/2248077/posts#comment Sun, 10 May 2009 17:37:30 GMT http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2243602/posts When the new administration took over Washington and our smiling, community activist, leader took the oath of office, the chuckles began as we witnessed the most expensive inauguration in US history and the start of the transformation of America. I giggled -- initially. This idol-worshipped man with absolutely no background or experience became our new President. I laughed at how America had been taken for a ride. When the President embarrassed America with his lame gift to the British Prime Minister, it was so sad it was funny. I giggled under my breath. When the One could not convey any... American Thinker http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2243602/posts#comment Mon, 4 May 2009 06:19:47 GMT http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2232473/posts ***NEWS FLASH ***Washington (AP) In a surprise move today, the Obama Administration announced newly proposed rules that prohibit food from being grown in dirt because of the danger of salmonella contamination.Although alternative technologies don’t yet exist to replace dirt, and hundreds of millions people in the United States are likely to perish from starvation in the next few years, the Obama Administration said that a few people died last year from food contaminated with salmonella and that drastic action was therefore necessary to protect the American public from unsafe food. White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs added that the... Cat Nipman http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2232473/posts#comment Sat, 18 Apr 2009 23:42:34 GMT http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-bloggers/2224986/posts <p>When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don’t take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don’t know.</p> <p>I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I had forgotten to make. I found the number and dialled it. A man answered, saying, “Hello”. I politely said, “This is Fred Hanifin. Could I please speak with Robin Carter?” Suddenly, the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn’t believe that anyone could be so rude.</p> Funny & Interesting E-mail Forwards http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-bloggers/2224986/posts#comment Wed, 8 Apr 2009 18:05:37 GMT http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/2219954/posts A deckhand on a charter boat full of school children choked to death on a bait fish he had put in his mouth as a joke. sfgate http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/2219954/posts#comment Wed, 1 Apr 2009 17:37:29 GMT http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2219703/posts For months, this newspaper has opposed President Obama's bold, forward-thinking agenda. What a colossal mistake. We realize now that we were merely clinging to the discredited ideas of the past. Holding on to disposable relics like tradition, religion and the Constitution only delays the glorious new world that awaits us all. President Obama has shown America a bright, glimmering future full of widely shared prosperity and national nice-to-each-otherness. Only by universally embracing the President's vision can this nation succeed and prosper. Resistance will bring nothing but social distortion, widespread panic and madness. President Obama has shown us all that to... Manchester Union Leader http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2219703/posts#comment Wed, 1 Apr 2009 12:29:23 GMT http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-bloggers/2217780/posts What does it mean to be a liberal in America or, for that matter, anywhere else around the Western world? I have often asked myself the question. But have yet to get together a list of what “values” actually encapsulate the term. Well, here is my shot at it. www.politicalcastaway.com http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-bloggers/2217780/posts#comment Mon, 30 Mar 2009 02:15:34 GMT http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2213828/posts Michigan Gov. Jennifer Granholm said she won't apologize to Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin for her crack at last weekend's Gridiron Dinner that the former Republican vice presidential candidate "really set back the cause of hot governors." CNN http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2213828/posts#comment Tue, 24 Mar 2009 23:07:01 GMT http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2212828/posts (2009-03-22) — With the debate over AIG executive bonuses nearly bringing official Washington to a standstill in the past three weeks, the Obama administration today expanded its plan to control Wall Street executive pay, adding provisions to limit compensation for star performers in the National Football League (NFL), National Basketball Association (NBA) and Major League Baseball (MLB).“Some of these sports stars, like AIG execs, have negotiated sweetheart deals paying them millions of dollars, and yet they lose games,” said White House spokesman Robert Gibbs. “The president shares the outrage of the American people at these obscene salaries and bonuses. There’s... Scrappleface http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2212828/posts#comment Mon, 23 Mar 2009 18:50:20 GMT http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2210649/posts PRESIDENT OBAMA'S January was filled with historic heal ing, euphoria and jubilation. February was all bright hope amid grim realities. March? This is Obama's March of Madness. The economy lies in ruin. A sea of debt is rising around us. And our hard-earned money is going by the millions into the pockets of the very people whose shortsighted greed got us into this fix in the first place. In swift response, Obama is busy spending billions, packing on even more debt, raising taxes and crying helplessly about all the wealth that's being redistributed from our little paychecks into fat bonuses... New York Post http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2210649/posts#comment Fri, 20 Mar 2009 13:15:25 GMT http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-bloggers/2198189/posts P>Jimmy Fallon, who was voted by his elementary school class as "Most Likely to Replace David Letterman," debuted last night in the spot vacated by the man who actually did take over, Conan O'Brien. It was pretty predictable stuff, right down to laughing at his own jokes before he even finishes them, but I enjoyed his interviews and hijinx with Bob DeNiro and Justin TImberlake. I wish him well.(See clips and such at these links: http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/29469658/ and http://www.latenightwithjimmyfallon.com/ )But I have to give him kudos for doing something during his monologue that others seem incapable of -- telling a joke that actually cuts at... Clearly Nebulous http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-bloggers/2198189/posts#comment Tue, 3 Mar 2009 17:00:51 GMT http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-bloggers/2194501/posts ..The United States government today announced that it is changing its national symbol to a CONDOM because it more accurately reflects the governments political stance. A condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you a sense of security while you're actually being screwed.... consultingbyrpm.com http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-bloggers/2194501/posts#comment Thu, 26 Feb 2009 14:30:10 GMT http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2191138/posts Barack Obama wants to cut the federal deficit in half by the end of his first term, mostly by scaling back Iraq war spending, raising taxes on the wealthiest and streamlining government, an administration official said Saturday as the president worked to finalize his first budget request. Fox http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2191138/posts#comment Sun, 22 Feb 2009 04:28:52 GMT http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/2177677/posts My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked, 'What's on TV?' I said, 'Dust.' And then the fight started... ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ----- My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.' I bought her a scale. And then the fight started... ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ----- When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive... so,... E-mail from a Former FReeper http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/2177677/posts#comment Tue, 3 Feb 2009 21:32:00 GMT http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/2174630/posts Some 250 teenage boys will pile onto the carpet of the Islamic Center of Passaic County on Sunday to catch the Super Bowl on a big screen. But when the much-buzzed-about commercials come on, they won't be watching. A youth leader manning the projector slaps a piece of paper over the lens, blocking out images the center considers inappropriate, such as beers and bikinis. "The purpose is to keep them away from bad influences," said Emad Hamdeh, the youth committee director. "The beer commercials show people happy while drinking; that's not reality." During the self-imposed blackouts, the boy fans don't... Herald News http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/2174630/posts#comment Fri, 30 Jan 2009 01:53:19 GMT http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2170202/posts Obama's first week The POTUS tells a hilarious joke. A video, most of us Freepers already know this, but you should email it out to those who don't! YouTube http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2170202/posts#comment Fri, 23 Jan 2009 14:22:34 GMT http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2159521/posts If anyone needed more proof that Democrats are children who truly don’t understand how the world works, the selection of lifelong party hack Leon Panetta as the new Director of the Central Intelligence Agency should blow away all doubt. Barack Obama indicated he picked Panetta because he is thought of as a good manager who understands government bureaucracy. The unspoken “attributes” Panetta brings are his naïve objections to the methods of modern spying and counter intelligence operations. His pronouncement that America “must not use torture under any circumstances” elevates his selection from stupid to dangerous. To a Democrat lawyer who... The Collins Report http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2159521/posts#comment Tue, 6 Jan 2009 13:42:56 GMT