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You knew it would only be a matter of time before someone released a side-by-side comparison video of Jesus Christ and the prophet Mohammed. Fox News contributor and funny man Steven “I am Canadian, Ay” Crowder, has put out a hilarious video where he effectively contrasts the teachings of Christ with those of Mohammed...

Sergio Garcia's spat with Tiger Woods went to another level Tuesday. Asked in jest at the European Tour awards dinner in London whether he'd invite Woods over for dinner during next month's U.S. Open, Garcia replied, according to The Guardian: "We will have him round every night. We will serve fried chicken." Garcia later apologized, issuing this statement: “I apologize for any offense that may have been caused by my comment on stage during the European Tour Players' Awards dinner. I answered a question that was clearly made towards me as a joke with a silly remark, but in no...

May 7, 2013 Susan Rice to be honored with “Great American Award” for “strengthening the world’s common security” Kelsey Osterman U.S. Ambassador to the U.N. Susan Rice will be honored Tuesday night with the 2013 Louis E. Martin Great American Award.The annual award, presented by The Joint Center for Political and Economic Studies, is given to “an exemplar of change, progress and coalition-building across racial lines,� according to a press release.Specifically, the organization is honoring Rice for �her work in advancing U.S. interests, strengthening the world’s common security and prosperity, and promoting respect for human rights,� another press release states.The...

The horrific crash of a 747-400 at Bagram (here) has yet to be fully investigated and claims are already being made that it was a stall caused by a loose cargo that caused tail of the aircraft to drop and the nose to rise depriving the wings of lift. Maybe. The Bagram 747 crash has many similarities to the even more horrific crash of AWACS flight Yukla-27, (here) which was caused by the aircraft striking at least two Canada Geese in the Runway Kill Zone (RKZ) as discussed on an earlier post on this blog (here). Terrorists familiar with the...

A guy is out walking in a field and spots a large hole in the ground. He walks over to it and peers over the edge. He can't see the bottom, so he looks around and spots a pebble. He tosses the pebble in the hole, cocks his head, and listens. Nothing. He looks around again, sees a large boulder, hefts it up and waddles over to the edge of the hole and heaves it it and cocks his head. Nothing. He looks around once more and spots a large railroad tie. With considerable effort, he drags it to the...

BEST BAR JOKE EVER! A lawyer, an Illegal alien, a pathological liar, a Muslim, and a Communist walk into a bar. Bartender asks... "What'll it be, Mr. President?"

Last month, Ford made headlines for an allegedly unapproved ad featuring Silvio Berlusconi with a trunk full of gagged, hog tied, and crying women. And now McDonald's is fielding a PR failure for an unapproved ad that went public. The ad, found as a poster on the Boston metro, parodied mental health and depression PSAs: "You're not alone. Million of people love the Big Mac," the ad reads, next to the photo of a crying woman and an 800-number that connects to McDonald's corporate office.

Steve Irwin jokes will still get you in trouble. Rick Mayer of The Tampa Tribune reports the Rays have made an official statement in regard to the polarizing picture of Raymond holding up a sign referencing a "Rays To Do List." Under the header, Steve Irwin—a popular wildlife expert who was killed by a stingray in 2006—has his name crossed out with "World Series" next on the to-do list agenda...

The United States has made it clear that it will not accept North Korea as a "nuclear state." This was stated by Secretary of State John Kerry during a joint press conference with his visiting South Korean counterpart Yun Byung-se in Washington on Tuesday. "What Kim Jong-un has been choosing to do is provocative, it is dangerous, reckless, and the United States will not accept the DPRK as a nuclearstate,"hesaid in referenceto theyoung North Korean leader's ambitious nuclear policy. Kerry reiterated that "the United States will do what isnecessary to defend ourselvesand defend our allies, Korea and Japan. We are...

An anonymous White House aide says that the president reaching out to Republicans is a "joke," a waste of time, and stunt for the media. As Ron Fournier of National Journal reports: Obama’s sudden burst of public outreach coincides with a drop in his approval ratings, noted first by Democratic pollsters advising the White House last week and now surfacing in a spate of public polls. This raises the uncomfortable question: Is this schmooze-a-thon a legitimate act of humility and leadership or a cynical public display? I can’t answer that question because I don’t pretend to know Obama’s state of...

During his trip to Israel this month, U.S. President Barack Obama is expected to pay a visit to the Church of the Nativity in Bethlehem, members of his delegation told Israeli government ministry representatives on Monday... According to the itinerary that was presented on Monday morning, Obama will land in Israel at around noon on Wednesday, March 20 and be welcomed in an official ceremony at Ben-Gurion Airport. Immediately afterward, Obama will be shown an Iron Dome battery. Due to lack of time, the battery will be set up at Ben-Gurion Airport, and at the conclusion of his welcome ceremony,...

As budget battles resume, Republicans hope Obama 'sincere' in compromise efforts After a week of President Obama extending lunch and dinner invites to congressional Republicans, ahead of the next budget battle, party leaders are expressing cautious optimism about the president being sincere – not just leading a so-called charm offensive. The invitations appear to be a change in political tactics for Obama, who since elected in 2008 has largely avoided courting Congress, preferring as of late to instead make his case to the public with campaign-style events. He also plans to keep up the effort this week with three scheduled...

Sports Illustrated has put together a list of the 50 most powerful people in sports and President Obama comes in at -- No. 44: 44 BARACK OBAMA U.S. President [TASTEMAKER ] [WORLD POWER ] [HAS NUCLEAR CODES ] [SOCIAL SAVVY ] POTUS might be the ultimate global power player, but he also wields significant influence in the Republic of Sports. One relevant riff-on his NCAA tourney picks, on his desire for

A guy goes into a bar in Cleveland where there's a robot bartender... The robot says, "What will you have"? The guy replies, " I'll have a whisky".  The robot brings back his whisky and says to the man, " what is your IQ"? The guy.says, "168". The robot proceeds to talk about physics, space exploration and medical technology.  The guy leaves but he is curious- so he goes back into the bar. The robot bartender asks," what will you have"? The man says "I will have a whisky".  The robot returns with the drink and asks , "what is...

WASHINGTON -- I am indebted to Amity Shlaes for gently correcting a joke of mine that dates back to July 8, 1972. On that date in the New York Times, I joshed that President Calvin Coolidge "probably spent more time napping than any president in the nation's history" and therefore was a successful president. My joke was a play on an earlier joke by H. L. Mencken, and now Shlaes has corrected both of us. She has written a very impressive biography titled simply "Coolidge," wherein she never mentions Cal's naps but rather what made him the most successful president...

Canada will never be a safe haven for zombies.” In other news, the Canadian government is much for fun than the American government. The Canadian government has gone on the record about the zombie apocalypse. In an amazing exchange on the floor of the House of Commons today, Foreign Affairs Minister John Baird was asked if he was working to "develop an international zombie strategy so that a zombie invasion does not turn into a zombie apocalypse." New Democratic Party Parliament Member Pat Martin applauded the United States Center for Disease Control's emergency preparedness measures premised on a zombie outbreak...

Raleigh NC:  Jeff Gordon announced a couple weeks back that he was firing his entire pit crew. The big surprise came in the wake of President Obama's general NASCAR outreach, in particular a federal scheme to employ disadvantaged inner-city youth. What sealed the deal was a recent study that showed how unemployed youths from Harlem were able to remove a set of wheels in less than 6 seconds -and without proper equipment- whereas Gordon's existing crew could only do it in 8 seconds, and this with thousands of dollars’ worth of the latest high-tech power tools.  Initially thought to be...

Having a smoke is no joke to Michelle Obama. A lip-reader claims Speaker John Boehner’s question about cigarettes at the inaugural luncheon is what triggered an eye roll from the first lady. Larry Wenig, a lip-reading expert, tells “Inside Edition” that his analysis shows the Ohio Republican asked President Obama if he had a cigarette before the Monday luncheon. While Obama quit smoking in 2010, Boehner still lights up. Obama has called giving up the habit for good “hard.” According to Wenig, Boehner was referring to Michelle when he quipped to the commander in chief, “Somebody won’t let you do...

For those that don't know about history,  here's the condensed version... Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunters/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer, then would head down to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the winter.  The two most important events in all of history were 1 the invention of beer and 2 the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man to the beer.  These were the foundation of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two...

After reviewing President Obama‘s 23 “executive actions” signed into law yesterday, Joe Scarborough said Thursday morning that his Republican Party had better proceed with caution, seeing as how he believes the policy proposals have the “overwhelming” support of the American people. The president’s plan included universal background checks on gun purchases, which Scarborough said has the support of at least “85% of Americans.” The president’s call for a

Our office has been asked for a statement from Douglas Wilson on the news that he has been formally uninvited from delivering the prayer at President Obama's Second Inauguration. This controversy, as many know, revolves around the fact that Pastor Wilson made a joke a number of years ago in a sermon about how Brian McLaren's theology was gay enough to be made conga queen at the Fire Island Fruit Festival. When the AP asked Pastor Wilson about the joke, he had forgotten about it completely. When the tape was played, Pastor Wilson laughed all over again, and said he...

I've heard the joke before, but now there's a visual for it!

The six contradictions of socialism in the United States of America: •America is capitalist and greedy – yet half of the population is subsidized. •Half of the population is subsidized – yet they think they are victims. •They think they are victims – yet their representatives run the government. •Their representatives run the government – yet the poor keep getting poorer. •The poor keep getting poorer – yet they have things that people in other countries only dream about. •They have things that people in other countries only dream about – yet they want America to be more like those...

Well freedom fans, Glenn thinks the hundreds of thousands who e-signed the various peaceful secession petitions are crazy.

The team of FBI agents that unearthed the emails between David Petraeus and Paula Broadwell also discovered this gushing draft memo from Speaker of the House John Boehner to President Obama. They didn’t know what to do with it, so they sent it to me. Dear Mr. President: Seeing that YouTube video of you choking up while thanking your campaign volunteers in Chicago reminded me of how much we have in common, even though we are from different political parties. You sometimes cry; I sometimes cry. You like golf and cigarettes; I like golf and cigarettes. You just got re-elected;...

When Obama leaves office, what will he consider, contemplate, or cogitate upon? How will history view him? Here are my thoughts. Obama will be known as the most incompetent President in recent American history, surpassing Jimmy Carter of all people. His Nobel Peace Price will be viewed as a joke in perpetuity. His signature legislation, Obamacare, will have been overturned, showing clearly how he wasted two years of legislative time while the economy was tanking. Joe Biden's comments that Obamacare was a "big f-cking deal" will continue to ring true, as Obamacare becomes legendary, as the only piece of legislation...

So, an “anonymous source” has sent Vice magazine a one-minute video that purports to be home footage of President Barack Obama’s birth in a Kenyan hospital. Titled, “Obama Sr filmimg his sons birth in Kenya” [sic], the camera conspicuously focuses on “Ann Dunham’s” hospital chart and a Kenyan flag sticker before panning to a woman seemingly in labor. A suspiciously large (for a newborn) baby is then pulled from a tangle of sheets and the umbilical cord is cut. The woman cuddles the baby while the nurse and doctor applaud and the Aug. 4, 1961 date flashes.

"Romney is his own worst enemy. This guy is tone-deaf."

Churchill: "The Americans will always do the right thing...  once they've exhausted the alternatives" RightWingNews   LIFE Archive   h/t Aussie Tea Party

A patrolling British Navy destroyer stops four Muslims in a row boat, rowing towards Brighton... The captain gets on the loud hailer and shouts "Ahoy, small craft, where are you heading?"  One of the Muslims stands up and shouts,  "We're invading England!"  The crew of the destroyer all start laughing and when the captain finally gains his composure, he gets back on the loud hailer and says "Just the four of you?"  The Muslim stands up again and shouts, "No, we're the last four- the rest are already there!" h/t Kirby

Rodeo clown was behind racist joke about Michelle Obama It was rodeo clown Mike Hayhurst of Barstow, not announcer Ed Kutz of Arroyo Grande, who made an offensive, racist joke about first lady Michelle Obama over the public-address system of the Creston Classic Rodeo, a rodeo board member confirmed Sunday. Spectators initially believed and reported that Kutz made the comment Saturday. Both he and Hayhurst were on microphones at the same time. Speaking Sunday on behalf of the rodeo’s nine-member board, Mike Barrett said the rodeo is not responsible for the joke and will ask Hayhurst for a letter addressing...

<p>The obvious comment is that they couldn't fill the outdoor stadium.</p> <p>Fox is discussing all those planners, volunteers, etc. whose hours of labor have been futile.</p>

   -h/t FB-

Question: Are you male or female? To find out the answer, look down: -- -- -- -- -- -- ---- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- LOOK DOWN, not scroll down!!! __________________________________ h/t Speedunque   image: Tech Geek & More

America’s first black governor in modern times has become the most senior Democrat to break ranks over Joe Biden’s ‘y’all in chains’ comments, telling the Vice President: 'Slavery is nothing to joke about.' Douglas Wilder, who was governor of Virginia from 1990 to 1994 and the first black governor since Reconstruction, told CNN that 'without question' Biden’s remarks in Danville, Virginia (though the veep seemed to think he was in North Carolina) 'were appeals to race'.

One day a 4th-grade teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living. All the typical answers came up: fireman, mechanic, businessman, salesman, etc. However, little Justin was being uncharacteristically quiet, so when the teacher prodded him about his father, he replied: 'My father's an exotic dancer in a gay cabaret and takes off all his clothes to music in front of other men and they put money in his underwear. Sometimes -if the offer is really good- he will go home with some guy and stay with him all night for money.'  The teacher, obviously shaken...

h/t Kirby

h/t Kirby

h/t Kirby

CALIFORNIA The Governor of California is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks the Governor's dog, then bites the Governor. 1.The Governor starts to intervene, but reflects upon the movie Bambi and then realizes he should stop because the coyote is only doing what is natural. 2.He calls animal control. Animal Control captures the coyote and bills the State $200 testing it for diseases and $500 for relocating it. 3.He calls a veterinarian. The vet collects the dead dog and bills the State $200 testing it for diseases. 4. The Governor goes to hospital and...

My daughter walked into the family living room last night and said, "Dad, cancel my allowance immediately, forget the college tuition, rent my room out, throw all my clothes out of the window; take my TV, iPhone, iPod, and my laptop. Please take any of my jewelry to the Salvation Army or Cash Converters. Then sell my car, take my front door key away from me, and throw me out of the house. Then disown me and never talk to me again. And don't forget to write me out of your will and leave my share to anyone that wants...

Saint Peter was guarding the Pearly Gates when two guys wearing hoodies approached. He peered cautiously out through the Gates and told them, "Uh, wait here- I'll be right back." Saint Peter then entered The Lord's chambers and described to him who was waiting at the entrance. 'Peter, how many times do I have to remind you not to pre-judge people who show up to enter Heaven?' said God. "We are all brothers and loved here." The saint let out a heavy sigh and returned to his post. Peter almost immediately returned to God's chambers and said, 'Well Lord,...

Best of political humor from around the USA this week...  Demwits More at Reaganite Republican...

Don Rickles nearly hijacked the American Film Institute’s tribute to Shirley MacLaine on Thursday night at Sony Pictures Studios, unleashing a trademark barrage of insults that took aim at President Obama, Warren Beatty, Jack Nicholson and the honoree herself. “I shouldn’t make fun of the blacks,” Rickles said, and then proceeded to do just that: “President Obama is a personal friend of mine. He was over to the house yesterday, but the mop broke.” The black-tie crowd, gathered to celebrate MacLaine, the 40th recipient of the AFI’s Life Achievement Award, alternately gasped at the 86-year-old comic’s put-downs and then found...

Comedians, after dinner speakers, even your Uncle Harry tells the off color joke now and again. Double entendres can be funny for adults and usually go over the head of children. But a president using a double entendre? Here's what Obama said at a gay fundraiser in Los Angeles. Via BuzzFeed: "I want to thank my wonderful friend who accepts a little bit of teasing about Michelle beating her in pushups -- (laughter) -- but I think she claims Michelle didn't go all the way down. (Laughter.) That's what I heard. I just want to set the record straight --...