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Keyword: joke

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  • Injury from Gretna police dog attack was unjustified, man alleges in lawsuit

    08/10/2011 8:14:26 PM PDT · by BBell · 87 replies · 1+ views
    The Times-Picayune ^ | August 10, 2011 | Paul Purpura
    A 25-year-old man sued the Gretna Police Department Tuesday, alleging his civil rights were violated by a police officer who sicced his canine on him without provocation, leading the dog to bite
  • The Headline and Story MSNBC *Really Wants* to Write.... (WISCONSIN RECALL RESULTS)

    08/10/2011 10:28:32 AM PDT · by Lazamataz · 84 replies
    My brain (and quotes from the 'net) | Aug 10, 2011 | By Lazamataz
    Democrats Win Two State Senate Seats!In massive battle of money and organizing, Democrat senators prevail in two important races Madison, Wisconsin (AP) -- In a stunning setback for the Walker administration, Democrats sailed to victory in two important State Senate seats. The outcome was a big setback for Republicans, the Tea Party, and Sarah Palin's nascent plans to run for President in 2012. It appears the mood was one of retribution GOP allies of Gov. Scott Walker, who earlier this year enacted a labor law overhaul that ended the right to fair treatment for many public sector workers. Democrats in...
  • Obama to hold a press conference shortly (Birthday Boy to read TOTUS)

    08/05/2011 8:23:25 AM PDT · by TonyInOhio · 163 replies
    The Wall Street Journal ^ | 08/05/11 | Unattributed
    Just a crawl at present.
  • Eric Cantor Elected President 2012 (Joke)

    07/20/2011 9:58:33 AM PDT · by Jewbacca · 33 replies · 2+ views
    Freerepublic ^ | July 22, 2011 | Unknown
    The year is 2012 and the United States has just elected Eric Cantor (R) as the first Jewish president of the United States. Eric calls up his mother a few weeks after election day and says, 'So, Mom, I assume you will be coming to my inauguration?' 'I don't think so. It's a ten hour drive, your father isn't as young as he used to be, and my arthritis is acting up again.' 'Don't worry about it Mom, I'll send Air Force One to pick you up and take you home. And a limousine will pick you up at your...
  • Love Me a Good Obama Joke

    07/15/2011 1:12:31 AM PDT · by Reaganite Republican · 9 replies
    Reaganite Republican ^ | July 15, 2011 | Reaganite Republican
    Barack and Michelle are at the White Sox game... One of the Secret Service guys leans over and says something to the president. Obama stares at the guy, looks at Michelle, looks back at the agent, and shakes his head "NO!" The agent goes: "But Mr. President, it was a unanimous request, from the owner of the team down to the bat boy- and the fans would absolutely love it." So Barack shrugs his shoulders and says, "Well, if that's what the people want..." He gets up, grabs Michelle by her collar and the seat of her pants, and drops her right...
  • Late-Night Online Amusement

    07/12/2011 11:11:15 PM PDT · by Reaganite Republican · 8 replies
    Reaganite Republican ^ | July 13, 2011 | Reaganite Republican
    G-rated, too... I just wonder what the shirt says: Speakers on? Then click this guy to open in a new window...  then try to put your cursor on his nose! _____________________________________________ -h/t P.L.-
  • 'Looking for Work' (a corny joke)

    07/06/2011 3:38:38 AM PDT · by Reaganite Republican · 5 replies
    Reaganite Republican ^ | July 6, 2011 | Reaganite Republican
    Three doctors are chatting at a conference, and the Israeli says: "In Israel, the medicine is so advanced that we cut off a man's testicles and transplanted them into another man, and it only took 6 weeks before he was looking for work!" So the German one goes: "Sehr gut, but in Germany we are able to take part of the brain out of a person, we put it into another person's head, and in just 4 weeks he is looking for work." A Russian doctor retorts: "Big deal- in Russia, we take a heart from a person, we...
  • U.S. home prices up for first time in eight months

    06/28/2011 8:03:06 AM PDT · by Free Vulcan · 7 replies
    Marketwatch ^ | 6.28.11 | Steve Goldstein
    WASHINGTON (MarketWatch) — U.S. home prices in April rose for the first time in eight months, according to data released Tuesday that may reflect more of the beginning of buying season than a new sign in the troubled sector of the economy. Home prices rose 0.7% in April, trimming the year-on-year decline to 4%, according to the S&P/Case-Shiller 20-city home price index, which is one of the most closely followed gauges. The data was roughly in line was consensus estimates.
  • The Woes of Ranching on the Rio Grande...

    06/28/2011 1:07:45 AM PDT · by Reaganite Republican · 7 replies
    Reaganite Republican ^ | June 28, 2011 | Reaganite Republican
    This from a bewildered Texas rancher: While riding down along the border this morning, I saw a Muslim extremist bobbing in the Rio Grande River- he was struggling to stay afloat because of all the guns and bombs he was carrying.  Along with him was a Mexican who was also struggling to stay afloat because of the large backpack of drugs he has strapped to his back.  It was clear to me that if they didn't get help soon, these men would surely drown. Being a responsible Texan and abiding by the law to help those in distress, I informed...
  • Politically-Incorrect Right Wing Humor

    06/15/2011 1:06:21 AM PDT · by Reaganite Republican · 9 replies
    Reaganite Republican ^ | June 15, 2011 | Reaganite Republican
    A Muslim kid gets lost from his mother in the supermarket... So he goes to the help desk and asks  for help, and the store attendant asks  "What does your mother look like?"   The kid says “How the hell should I know?” Muslims Against Sharia    h/t Speedunque  _______________________________________ More at Reaganite Republican
  • New Listing...

    06/02/2011 10:13:30 AM PDT · by Reaganite Republican · 2 replies
    Reaganite Republican ^ | June 2, 2011 | Reaganite Republican
    Abbottabad, Pakistan- upscale subdivision! Bank owned property, owner evicted.  Five-bedroom, zero-bath fixer upper featuring goat shed No air conditioning... no internet connection... no cable Needs paint and minor repairs, possible lead contaminates Carpets and some interior trim need replacement (stains). Safe neighborhood, close to law enforcement facilities.Make an offer~__________________________________________-Reaganite Republican-
  • Obama’s Big Bet on Ground Zero Speech

    05/04/2011 8:32:00 AM PDT · by EagleUSA · 50 replies
    Fox News ^ | 4/11/2011 | Chris Stirewalt
    It’s clear that the White House team is thinking very big when it comes to President Obama’s Thursday visit to Ground Zero, his first since taking office. Obama invited former President George W. Bush and former New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani to hear him speak at the former site of the World Trade Center. Bush declined, and Giuliani’s status is unclear, but those are the kinds of guests one would invite for a major political event. Bush has a strong defense for declining. He has kept a low profile since leaving office and largely limited his public events to...
  • In Which I Scoop Donald Trump

    04/26/2011 12:02:40 PM PDT · by NonZeroSum · 45 replies
    Transterrestrial Musings ^ | April 26th, 2011 | Rand Simberg
    I’ve had a document for a while now that I have neither disclosed, or provided to Wikileaks. But now that the Donald seems on the verge of spilling the beans, I’ve decided it’s time to go public, so I can scoop, or “Trump” him (ha ha…). I can’t know for sure whether this is genuine, but in light of the rest of the history that is slowly being revealed, (e.g., by Stanley Kurtz), these Columbia transcripts that the president has refused to release look quite plausible.
  • NYPD Arrests Guy For Cracking A Joke

    04/25/2011 6:50:12 PM PDT · by ranair34 · 56 replies · 1+ views
    YouTube Video ^ | 4/25/11 | Unknown
    NYPD Arrests Guy For Cracking A Joke http://youtu.be/lwVjSQ53SF0
  • Barack Obama at the Pearly Gates~

    04/20/2011 9:46:11 AM PDT · by Reaganite Republican · 15 replies
    Reaganite Republican ^ | April 20, 2011 | Reaganite Republican
    Having arrived at the Gates of Heaven, Barrack Obama meets a man with a beard. 'Are you Mohammed?' he asks.  'No my son, I am St. Peter; Mohammed is higher up.' Peter then points to a ladder that rises into the clouds..Delighted that Mohammed should be higher than St. Peter, Obama climbs the ladder in great strides, climbs up through the clouds and comes into a room where he meets another bearded man. He asks again, 'Are you Mohammed?'  'Why no,' he answers, 'I am Moses; Mohammed is higher still.' Exhausted, but with a heart full of joy he...
  • Vanity/Joke: The Arrogance of Authority

    04/05/2011 9:07:27 AM PDT · by highnoon · 10 replies
    Email | Internet Friend
    A DEA officer stopped at a ranch in Texas , and talked with an old rancher. He told the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs." The rancher said, "Okay , but don't go in that field over there.....", as he pointed out the location. The DEA officer verbally exploded saying, " Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me !" Reaching into his rear pants pocket, he removed his badge and proudly displayed it to the rancher. "See this badge?! This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish.... On...
  • My picks for 2012

    03/24/2011 7:49:11 PM PDT · by West Texas Chuck · 64 replies
    moi
    Who do you want to vote for? I'm torn, but here is a ticket I'd like to see.
  • CARTOON: "Commander-In-Chief"...God, help us...

    03/23/2011 1:33:21 AM PDT · by IPWGOP · 22 replies
    Iowa Presidential Watch ^ | 3-23-2011 | IPWGOP
    IowaPresidentialWatch.com
  • Holder announces safety initiative after rise in officer deaths (Black Panthers not mentioned)

    03/23/2011 1:03:58 AM PDT · by Libloather · 6 replies
    CNN ^ | 3/22/11 | Carol Cratty
    Holder announces safety initiative after rise in officer deathsBy Carol Cratty, CNN March 22, 2011 7:15 p.m. EDT Washington (CNN) -- Attorney General Eric Holder announced a Law Enforcement Safety Initiative Tuesday, calling the number of law enforcement officers killed in the United States so far this year "simply unacceptable." Holder's comments came as he met with a group of police chiefs and the heads of several federal law enforcement agencies to talk about the problem. He said the initiative will involve all U.S. attorneys around the country meeting with their local police and others to discuss the issue and...
  • Muslim Talking Doll Hits US Store Shelves...

    03/14/2011 2:27:23 AM PDT · by Reaganite Republican · 19 replies
    Reaganite Republican ^ | March 14, 2011 | Reaganite Republican
    What does she say? Don't know... nobody's worked-up enough nerve to pull the cord yet! _____________________________________h/t SpeedunqueMore at Reaganite Republican
  • Guide: Translating Californese into Texan

    03/13/2011 9:39:12 AM PDT · by Reaganite Republican · 17 replies
    Reaganite Republican ^ | March 13, 2011 | Reaganite Republican
    Translation into Texan of some  common California euphemisms... In California: Means in Texas: Diversity/Lifestyle Choice Sinful and Perverted Arsenal of Weapons Gun Collection Delicate Wetlands Swamp Undocumented Worker Illegal Alien Cruelty-Free Materials Polyester Assault and Battery Attitude Adjustment Heavily Armed Well-protected Narrow-minded Righteous Taxes or Your Fair Share Coerced Theft Commonsense Gun Control Gun Confiscation Plot Illegal Hazardous Explosives Fireworks or Stump Removal Nonviable Tissue Mass Unborn Baby Equal Access to Opportunity Socialism Multicultural Community High Crime Area Fairness /Social Progress Marxism Upper Class or "The Rich" Self-Employed Progressive, Change Big Government Scheme Homeless or Disadvantaged Bums/Welfare Leeches Sniper...
  • The Obamas: a Hex on Joey Plugs!

    02/26/2011 6:16:06 AM PST · by Reaganite Republican · 5 replies
    Reaganite Republican ^ | February 26, 2011 | Reaganite Republican
    This is pretty funny... __________________________________________________________ More humor from BigFurHat at -iowntheworld- HERE Have a great weekend, FReepers...
  • Ann Coulter is a Genius

    02/12/2011 6:38:00 PM PST · by Reaganite Republican · 30 replies · 1+ views
    Reaganite Republican ^ | February 13, 2011 | Reaganite Republican
     “Thats Like Asking Me About My Least Favorite Disease” During her question and answer session at CPAC 2011, Ann Coulter was asked who was her least favorite Democrat.  “That’s like asking me about my least favorite disease.” God help me, I love this woman... [YouTube] Ann Coulter.com   -Gateway Pundit- VIDEO clip/more at Reaganite Republican
  • Man discovers glasses-free 3D tech in the blink of an eye (video)

    01/16/2011 9:01:42 AM PST · by toast · 24 replies
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uef17zOCDb8&feature=player_embedded This may make 3D finally usable, or not.
  • Does Richard Dawkins have machismo?

    06/20/2010 8:05:26 PM PDT · by MarianoApologeticus · 8 replies · 1+ views
    Conservapedia ^ | N/A | Conservative
    The Conservapedia Richard Dawkins Project was launched to expand Conservapedia's current collection of Richard Dawkins material. There does appear to be quite of bit of public interest in the Conservapedia article on Richard Dawkins as it contains factual material concerning the atheist Richard Dawkins that you will not find at Wikipedia and other liberal websites. ..."...Mary Kenny thinks that there are more atheist men than women, and that this is the result of some sort of attempt at overt manliness on their part. She really must try to pay attention - to Richard Dawkins, for example whom one could hardly...
  • Electricity from wind plant so expensive, no one will buy it

    12/20/2010 8:06:42 AM PST · by RatherBiased.com · 25 replies · 3+ views
    Cape Wind has outlasted a decade of government review, a slew of court brawls and fierce opposition from mariners, fishermen, Indian tribes and Kennedys just to win the right to sell its wind-fueled electricity. Now, all it needs are customers. Last month, the nation's first offshore wind farm nailed down its first buyer when the Massachusetts Department of Public Utilities approved a deal that sees Cape Wind selling half its power to National Grid, the state's largest electric utility. But the other half of the Cape Wind project's electricity remains available with no obvious takers, raising the possibility of a...
  • New WikiLeaks Document Dump Targets Liberal Media

    12/12/2010 2:49:26 PM PST · by BlueJ7 · 10 replies
    braitbart ^ | 12/12/2010 | Steve Grammatico
    From: WBlitzer@CdoubleN.com To: OhMama08@IMD1.net Date: August 24, 2008 Subject: Energy Engineer a spike in gas prices before the election, sir. The Saudis will curtail production if you ask. They’ll want a quid pro quo. Promise you’ll support the construction of a major mosque somewhere in Manhattan. Also, McCain’s getting mileage from that goofy $300 million “better car battery” contest he’s proposing. Trump him: offer $500 million tax-free to whoever discovers how to turn seawater into gasoline. If, g-d forbid, someone actually does it, arrange for a few Chicago boys to fit him with cement shoes before he goes public.
  • Obama Joke of the Day - December 8

    12/08/2010 9:12:38 AM PST · by toma29 · 15 replies · 1+ views
    Useful Info Nation ^ | 12/8/2010 | Thomas Bryan
    Why is Obama fighting behind the scenes to get DADT repealed before Christmas? Because if it doesn't happen, there won't be any fruitcakes at the White House "holiday" party.
  • Obama Joke of the Day - December 7

    12/07/2010 9:58:50 AM PST · by toma29 · 14 replies · 8+ views
    Useful Info Nation ^ | 12/07/2010 | Thomas Bryan
    Obama was taking a walk around the White House grounds when he entered the garbage dumpster area where a janitor was dumping crates of food into the dumpster. Obama asked, "Why are you throwing away all this food?" The janitor replied, "We throw everything away that's past its expiration date. No exceptions." Obama peeked at the next dumpster, which contained a huge pile of documents. He asked, "What are these documents?" The janitor replied, "Those are every speech you've ever given." Obama asked, "And you're throwing them away? Why?" The janitor gave him a funny look and said, "We throw...
  • Colbert Puts on David Stockman to Trash Reaganomics, Bush Tax Cuts

    12/04/2010 11:26:54 AM PST · by mandaladon · 17 replies
    NewsBuster ^ | 4 Dec 2010 | Tim Graham
    In a sort of continuation of 60 Minutes offering a platform for David Stockman to trash his former Reaganite colleagues, Stephen Colbert interviewed Stockman on Thursday night's Colbert Report. At the show's opening, the graphic was the lame pun “Reag Against the Machine” and Colbert said "I'll ask him what it was like when America had a budget." Stockman quickly proceeded to trash supply-side economics and suggest most of our Pentagon budget is wasted in an ineffective war on terror. (He didn't repeat his call for a 15 percent national income surtax.) You can see why the liberals now love...
  • Foreign Policy 2nd Annual List:The FP Top 100 Global Thinkers-Obama #3

    12/04/2010 1:53:35 PM PST · by lbryce · 22 replies · 1+ views
    Foreign Policy ^ | December 4, 2010 | Staff
    But Obama is still arguably the developed world's most popular leader, even if the American public judges him more harshly, and he is slowly but surely inventing a new kind of U.S. leadership to go along with his vision of an America that once again projects its power through the force of its ideas. To Obama has fallen a tough task: the hard work that accompanies the building of a new order to succeed America's unchallenged rule as the lone post-Cold War superpower. But luckily for the world it is a task Obama embraces, if still hesitantly at times....
  • Obama Joke of the Day - December 3

    12/03/2010 10:56:48 AM PST · by toma29 · 8 replies
    Useful Info Nation ^ | 12/03/2010 | Thomas Bryan
    What's the definition of insanity? Obama switching to teleprompters filled with the same tired speeches and expecting different results.
  • Obama Joke of the Day - December 2

    12/02/2010 8:31:16 AM PST · by toma29 · 1+ views
    Useful Info Nation ^ | 12/02/2010 | Thomas Bryan
    The world's foremost experts on psychiatry have decided to eliminate narcissistic personality disorder from the 2013 edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. When asked by reporters why they decided not to include the disorder any longer, members of the panel cited the existence of two case studies of extreme narcissism with which the Manual could never compete. So they gave up. One is Dreams of My Father. The other is The Audacity of Hope. Useful Info Nation
  • Obama Joke of the Day - November 24

    11/24/2010 7:12:51 AM PST · by toma29 · 12 replies
    Useful Info Nation ^ | 11/24/2010 | Thomas Bryan
    To prove he's more empathetic than any president in history, Obama will show the world how much he cares about animals by pardoning not one buttwo turkeys today. In keeping with his usual technique of creating platitude-filled productions that wind up having an opposite effect, after the cameras leave, Reverend Wright will arrive to g@ddam the turkeys Obama and his family will be eating. Useful Info Nation
  • Obama Joke of the Day - November 23

    11/23/2010 7:57:30 AM PST · by toma29
    Useful Info Nation ^ | 11/23/2010 | Thomas Bryan
    When Obama found out that Steve Austin had abused his government healthcare by $5,999,999, he sent Michelle to bring him in for questioning. Useful Info Nation
  • Fake TSA Twitter Account Finds Jokes In Travelers’ Junk

    11/19/2010 8:42:20 AM PST · by markomalley · 10 replies
    Mediaite ^ | 11/19/2010 | Mark Joyella
    Maybe you’ve heard about the touching of the junk? A new Twitter account, @tsagov, (Bio: “We pat your groin. We see you naked. We’re the doormen to the sky. Why? Because everybody is a terrorist.”) launched on — and has already cleared 5,000 followers.The site, which lists its location as “London/France/Your Underpants” has found the funny in those invasive groin pats: And kids, it’s not just junk-touching that’s really, really funny when you think about it–those backscatter scanners are a comedy goldmine, as it turns out: Follow “Agent Smith” here.
  • Obama Joke of the Day - November 18

    11/18/2010 8:41:04 AM PST · by toma29 · 6 replies
    Useful Info Nation ^ | 11/18/2010 | Thomas Bryan
    Obama Visits School for the GiftedObama recently took a tour of the Obama School for the Gifted where the Dean, Mrs. Chandler, met him at the entrance. Mrs. Chandler began by showing Obama a row of rooms on the left side of the complex. She explained, "These are all private. In each room a student takes tests of different subjects and the results of the tests they fail are kept sealed." Obama replied, "That's like what happened during my university days." He joked, "That's also why no one will ever have any copies of my records." Mrs. Chandler looked at...
  • Obama Joke of the Day - November 17

    11/17/2010 2:44:21 PM PST · by toma29 · 5 replies
    Useful Info Nation ^ | 11/17/2010 | Thomas Bryan
    Five Reasons Obama Doesn't Worry About Identity Theft5.Conservatives and Independents sure the hell don't want to be him. 4. Are you kidding? "Everybody knows who I am" and besides, "You got me" anyway. 3. Even though he's their Messiah, liberals only need his policies to play God. 2. A birth certificate is a required form of identification and a certificate of live birth is not. 1. His credibility is totally shot so it wouldn't matter. Useful Info Nation
  • Obama Joke of the Day - November 12

    11/12/2010 8:15:59 AM PST · by toma29 · 2 replies
    Useful Info Nation ^ | 11/12/2010 | Thomas Bryan
    Mattel's hottest Christmas item for 2010: The Obama Magic Kit Comes in the shape of a pony Has only one trick: How to make more than 60 Democrats disappear from Congress in less than two years Useful Info Nation
  • Obama Joke of the Day - November 11

    11/11/2010 11:58:50 AM PST · by toma29 · 7 replies
    Useful Info Nation ^ | 11/11/2010 | Thomas Bryan
    One Tuesday Obama was playing a round of golf with members of the liberal media at his side and House Democrats and Independent Obama voters watching from the stands. At each hole when Obama hit the ball off the tee, it would hook way left into the trees and Katie Couric, Matt Lauer, Keith Olbermann, etc would immediately run out of the woods and drop a ball in the hole. The House Democrats in the stands would rise to their feet and cheer as Obama took credit for his hole-in-one. The crowd of Independent Obama voters began to thin out...
  • Obama Joke of the Day - November 10

    11/10/2010 7:34:59 PM PST · by toma29 · 2 replies
    Useful Info Nation ^ | 11/10/2010 | Thomas Bryan
    At a recent metaphor-filled speech in which he was demonstrating the past eight years of the Bush Administration, Obama unveiled the new GM Obamobile, which is capable of driving itself once you load the onboard teleprompter with the proper instructions. The car went about fifty feet when it made a sharp turn and ran completely over Nancy Pelosi. After an investigation, GM technicians found that as the teleprompter was loaded every other 'D' was replaced with a 'B'. Americans sighed in relief because that was the end of Pelosi and the "Ditch" reference. Useful Info Nation
  • Obama Joke of the Day - November 9

    11/09/2010 10:21:38 AM PST · by toma29 · 1 replies
    Useful Info Nation ^ | 11/09/2010 | Thomas Bryan
    What's the difference between President Bush's book 'Decision Points' and Barack Obama's 'Dreams of My Father'? One was written by a man who walked away a free man after using bombs to terrorize and kill. The other one was written by a true patriot, President Bush. Useful Info Nation
  • Obama Joke of the Day - November 5

    11/05/2010 9:54:42 AM PDT · by toma29 · 2 replies
    Useful Info Nation ^ | 11/05/2010 | Thomas Bryan
    Did you know they're selling the Barack Obama CD-Changer this Christmas? When you're tired of listening to Disc 1, you can switch to Disc 2, which has the same songs, but each one comes with a brief statement at the beginning about how stupid you were for not understanding the brilliance of the songs on Disc 1 with special commentary from Jon Stewart and Ryan Seacrest. When you're tired of listening to Disc 2, you switch to Disc 3, a much slower combination of Disc 1 and Disc 2 with a statement at the beginning telling you the reason it's...
  • Obama Joke of the Day - October 29

    10/29/2010 8:57:52 AM PDT · by toma29 · 4 replies
    Useful Info Nation ^ | 10/29/2010 | Thomas Bryan
    Why did Obama book over 800 rooms for his upcoming trip to India? He heard Hindus worship multitudes of gods and he thought he could snooker them into believing they were all him. Useful Info Nation
  • American politics are becoming an embarrassment, Jimmy Carter says

    10/28/2010 4:02:36 PM PDT · by Heuristic Hiker · 42 replies · 1+ views
    Deseret News ^ | Oct. 28, 2010 | Jessica Harrison
    SALT LAKE CITY — The American political atmosphere is becoming an embarrassment, former President Jimmy Carter told reporters at the King's English Bookshop in Salt Lake City Thursday Morning. "Americans don't realize how dramatically our political atmosphere has gone downhill," Carter said.
  • Obama Joke of the Day - October 22

    10/22/2010 9:15:12 AM PDT · by toma29 · 1 replies
    Useful Info Nation ^ | 10/22/2010 | Thomas Bryan
    After attending a keg party, Bill Clinton was staggering along a road on his way home when he noticed a Prius stuck in a ditch at the edge of a swamp. As he approached the car, he saw that Barack Obama was inside and he kept hitting the accelerator making the front wheels spin furiously. Bill asks, "What happened, Barack?" Obama replies, "Well, uh, um, er, I, uh, snuck out of the White House and uh, I went for a walk. That's when I noticed somebody drove this car into the ditch and left it for me to get out....
  • Obama Joke of the Day - October 20

    10/20/2010 8:49:14 AM PDT · by toma29
    Useful Info Nation ^ | 10/20/2010 | Thomas Bryan
    What do American voters, the Saudi King, and the Chinese Communist Premier have in common? After November 2, 2010, Obama will have bowed down to all three. Useful Info Nation
  • Obama Joke of the Day - October 19

    10/19/2010 8:29:11 AM PDT · by toma29 · 15 replies
    Useful Info Nation ^ | 10/19/2010 | Thomas Bryan
    Some Obamacare jokes: Under ObamaCare all Lasik procedures will be done outside. In the sun. With a magnifying glass. Here's another sign of ObamaCare. Examination rooms have tip jars. Does ObamaCare cover preexisting conditions? Only if they don't require any treatment. Features of Obamacare Stomach stapling done at Office Max. Coin operated morphine dispensers.Homeless people all have only one kidney.Free cremation with any major operation.None of the nurses speak English.Do-it-yourself heart bypass kits.Wind up pacemakers.Leeches make a comeback.Hospital TVs are all turned to MSNBC.A visit to the hospital will automatically void your life insurance policy. Useful Info Nation
  • Obama Joke of the Day - October 15

    10/15/2010 8:38:29 AM PDT · by toma29 · 1 replies
    Useful Info Nation ^ | 10/15/2010 | Thomas Bryan
    Obama walks into a bar and sits down on a stool. The bartender asks, "What's with the dirty look?" Obama looks at Michelle and says, "She's just here to get me some cigarettes." Useful Info Nation
  • Obama Joke of the Day - October 13

    10/13/2010 9:14:08 AM PDT · by toma29 · 5 replies
    Useful Info Nation ^ | 10/13/2010 | Thomas Bryan
    Bill Clinton snuck through the door of the oval office and found Obama sitting at his desk with the teleprompter wearing a blue dress and positioned between his legs. Clinton says, "What's going on here?!" Shocked, Obama stood the teleprompter up, pulled the neck line down, and read, "It's not what you think." Useful Info Nation