Free Republic

Jim; Things have gotten way out of control here as of late. You know as well as most of us, that this war must end and end now, or your forum will end up being nothing more than a joke. I humbly suggest that you not just request, but demand, that everyone step back and take a serious look at the slanderous comments being made by both camps. Debate is one thing, but what is happening is no longer a debate. This forum is on the verge of a civil war. A war that need not happen. For the good...

Men Are Just Happier People -- What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a...

Yo' Mama is so ugly, yo' daddy takes her to work with him so he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.

'The press conference at the White House was a little bit awkward. Every time a reporter addressed a question to Your Holiness, Obama answered.' Ted Cruz sometimes campaigns as though he were doing a set at The Improv. The junior Senator from Texas’ comedic timing is one of his sharper skills. So, too, are his impressions of figures as varied as the late President Reagan, radio host Mark Levin and journalist Sam Donaldson, not to mention The Simpsons characters, Darth Vader and JFK. His humor might also be his riskiest trait. Like former Republican presidential nominee Bob Dole, Cruz’s jokes...

In "honor" of Talk Like A Pirate Day, What's your best or favorite pirate joke? Mine? A pirate walks into a bar with a ship's wheel attached to his belt buckle. The bartender asks him what that's all about. "I don't know", says himself. "But's it's driving me nuts!"

.....Jerry Seinfeld avoids doing shows on college campuses. And while talking with ESPN’s Colin Cowherd on Thursday, the comedian revealed why: College kids today are too politically correct. “I hear that all the time,” Seinfeld said on The Herd with Colin Cowherd. “I don’t play colleges, but I hear a lot of people tell me, ‘Don’t go near colleges. They’re so PC.’”

Cardinal Angelo Amato, Prefect of the Congregation for the Causes of Saints, has announced, on the heels of the recent beatification of Pope Paul VI, an exciting new candidate for beatification on the increasingly crowded Expressway to the Ever-Widening Gate of Heaven. It seems that Cardinal Walter Kasper, President Emeritus of the Pontifical Council for Promoting Christian Unity, has now introduced the cause of Annibale Bugnini, the architect of the highly-touted liturgical reform of Vatican II, to the Congregation. Kasper reportedly gave his permission to open an investigation into Abp. Bugnini’s virtues in response to repeated and urgent requests from...

In January 2010, the Congressional Budget Office projected that the federal health spending would total a bit more than $11 trillion between 2011 and 2020. Today, the Congressional Budget Office thinks it made a mistake. Costs are coming in lower-than-expected, and the CBO's newest projections suggest the federal government will spend $600 billion less on health care than they predicted back in 2010. So far, so good: projections are always wrong by at least a bit, and it's nice to have the extra $600 billion in America's pocket. But here's the incredible thing: as Paul Van de Water, a health...

I’ve been trying to come up with a list of nationalities or ethnic groups—even subgroups—about whom it is still safe to make a joke publicly, since political correctness is shrinking the domain down to the vanishing point. Before long you won’t be able to make jokes about “little green men” from Mars, for fear of offending illegal aliens “undocumented” immigrants. I’m not even sure you can joke about white people any more, like Martin Mull and Allen Rucker did 20 years ago in A History of White People in America. Not even Sony would risk publishing this right now. So...

An Italian gossip magazine has sparked outrage after its latest edition was released with a free book containing jokes about gay people. The controversial giveaway, entitled “The Best Gay Jokes”, was attached to the latest edition of the weekly Italian gossip magazine Visto, La Stampa reported. Published in 2012 and ordinarily priced at €4.99, the book is part of a joke book series which also includes sexist jokes and jokes about Jews by Jews, among other taboo subjects. …

News is leaking out from Hollywood executives in-the-know that the Obama White House had been leaning on, pressuring executives at NBC for the last two years to replace Jay Leno because the comedian was criticizing President Obama every night. Obama didn't like it and considered it a racist attack on him.

It’s already been a crazy week around here, which means it’s the perfect time to take a break with a few jokes. And they’re all clean! Hope you enjoy: #1 – Did you hear about the new Obama Diet? You let Putin eat your lunch every day. #2 - How does Obama win the war on terror? He renames it! Its now the overseas contingency operation. #3 - Did you hear about the reporter who asked Obama a hard question? Neither have we! #4 - How many democrats does it take to change a light bulb? .........

Secretary of State John Kerry told a private audience in April that US ally Israel may wind up becoming an aparthed state. So it’s OK to bash the Jewish state.But Kerry joked about Donald Sterling this weekend in his address to Yale graduates.CNN reported: Secretary of State John Kerry slammed Los Angeles Clippers owner Donald Sterling in address to graduates at Yale University on Sunday.“You are graduating today as the most diverse class in Yale’s long history,” he said. “Or as they call it in the NBA, Donald Sterling’s worst nightmare.”Kerry made his remarks as the featured speaker at Yale’s...

Joke One: What Do I Look Like? A newlywed couple moves into their new house. One day the husband comes home from work and his wife says, "Honey, you know, in the upstairs bathroom one of the pipes is leaking, could you fix it?" "What do I look like, a plumber?" Asks the husband, and goes to sleep. A few days later, the wife once again turns to her husband and says, "honey, my car doesn't start, I think it may need a new battery, could you change it for me?". "What do I look like, a mechanic?" asks the...

So far I've been pranked by Netflix and Google. I'm on the lookout for some more April Fools in the news.

President Obama pushed back on criticism of his recent appearance with comedian Zach Galifianakis to promote the Affordable Care Act, noting that President Lincoln "loved telling the occasional bawdy joke." The president´s remarks, during an interview with ESPN Radio´s Colin Cowherd that aired Thursday, were an indirect jab at Fox News host Bill O´Reilly, who argued during a segment of his show earlier this month that the 16th president would never have agreed to such an appearance. "First of all, if you read back on Lincoln, he loved telling the occasional bawdy joke and being out among regular folks," Obama

This has been making rounds. Some are really good, and the others I haven't gotten yet ;-P

My 28 y/o vegan son was home this weekend and asked if we watched the show "The Miller", we said no. He said that he was watching it at the gym and they made fun of vegans and it hurt his feelings...IT was all I could do to NOT start in on the "See..now it's time you get the to hear it for a while. You want to live it..then suck it up."

Vice President Joe Biden has now said that there is no reason for him not to run for president except for the fact that he likes driving his own car. 'There may be reasons why I don't run, but there's no obvious reason for me why I think I should not run,' Biden told CNN. Biden, who is 71 and will be 73 at the time of the next election, previously said that he and his wife, Dr Jill Biden, had not had a formal conversation about 2016 and this time he took a different tact in answering the same...

Vid at link