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Keyword: jokes

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  • Iceland volcano jokes cover the net.

    04/19/2010 7:39:52 AM PDT · by Big Bureaucracy · 12 replies · 2,862+ views
    Big Bureaucracy ^ | April 19th, 2010 | Ellie Velinska
    Iceland to Europe: Do you lava me like I lava you?The last wish of the Icelandic economy was to have its ashes scattered over Europe. UK is grounded and this time it is not by Obama.Hiring volcanologists! Call UBL. Eyjafjallajokull is erupting only twice a year: April through September and October through March.Gordon Brown asked for cash, but there is no C in the Icelandic alphabet. My house is covered with dust with a stench of sulfur. Do you live in Iceland? Nope… still married. Redundant aircraft was spotted miraculously flying over the North Pole. Santa? Nope… the Russian Aeroflot...
  • Jokes about Obama and Pelosi

    03/18/2010 6:09:53 AM PDT · by Gopher Broke · 14 replies · 1,878+ views
    The liberals are asking us to give Obama time. We agree - and think 25 to life would be appropriate. Jay Leno America needs Obama-Care like Nancy Pelosi needs a Halloween mask. Jay Leno Q: Have you heard about McDonald's' new Obama Value Meal? A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it. Conan O'Brian Q: What does Barack Obama call lunch with a convicted felon? A: A fund raiser. Jay Leno Q: What's the difference between Obama's cabinet and a penitentiary? A: One is filled with tax evaders, blackmailers and threats to society....
  • Post a joke thread

    02/19/2010 1:39:51 AM PST · by Sarah-bot · 78 replies · 1,346+ views
    Me | Today | Self
    People should post their favorite joke on a thread.
  • Roger Ebert Makes Fat Jokes After Limbaugh's Hospital Visit

    01/04/2010 4:39:06 PM PST · by Nachum · 36 replies · 1,883+ views
    Newsbusters ^ | 1/4/10 | Lachlan Markay
    In a demonstration of Hollywood's quintessentially intolerant hatred of conservatives, film critic Roger Ebert took to the Twitterverse on Saturday to mock Rush Limbaugh and his sudden trip to a Hawaii hospital (h/t Big Hollywood headlines). Ebert was hardly alone in rejoicing Limbaugh's hospital visit--and distressed when he was given a clean bill of health.
  • Some Humor To Start Your Day!

    12/19/2009 2:46:55 AM PST · by Wpin · 25 replies · 1,499+ views
    Friend ^ | 12/19/09 | Anon
    Q: What's the main problem with Barack Obama jokes? A: His followers don't think they're funny and everyone else doesn't think they're jokes. Q: Why does Barack Obama oppose the Second Amendment? A: It stands between him and the First. Q: What's the difference between Rahm Emanuel and a carp? A: One is a scum sucking bottom feeder and the other is a fish. Q: What's the difference between Greta Van Susteren and Barack Obama? A: Greta only talks out of one side of her mouth. Q: What does Barack Obama call lunch with a convicted felon? A: A fund...
  • Let The Tiger Jokes Begin...

    12/03/2009 6:03:15 AM PST · by Road Warrior ‘04 · 54 replies · 2,581+ views
    Self | 12-3-09 | Bushbacker1
    Let 'em begin:
  • Tiger Wood Jokes

    12/04/2009 12:38:12 PM PST · by VA Voter · 27 replies · 3,498+ views
    Various | Unknown
    Tiger Woods is so rich that he owns lots of expensive cars. Now he has a hole in one. What's the difference between a car and a golf ball? Tiger can drive a ball 400 yards. Tiger Woods wasn't seriously injured in the crash, but he's still below par. What were Tiger Woods and his wife doing out at 2.30 in the morning? They went clubbing Tiger Woods crashed into a fire hydrant and a tree. He couldn’t decide between a wood and an iron.
  • Bring your Halloween Jokes....we gotta smile about SOMETHING!

    10/31/2009 12:33:21 PM PDT · by greyfoxx39 · 28 replies · 1,285+ views
    various
    I've been receiving a lot of cute Halloween jokes and wonder if all you FReepers are getting them also.Here are a few that I like: "> "> "> ">
  • Obama Jokes

    10/28/2009 8:07:08 PM PDT · by SeekAndFind · 15 replies · 1,492+ views
    http://content.patriotpost.us/img/legacy/broadcasts/humor/102709.html | 10/29/2009
    Obama Jokes Q: What's the main problem with Barack Obama jokes? A: His followers don't think they're funny and everyone else doesn't think they're jokes. Q: Why does Barack Obama oppose the Second Amendment? A: It stands between him and the First. Q: What's the difference between Rahm Emanuel and a carp? A: One is a scum sucking bottom feeder and the other is a fish. Q: What's the difference between Greta Van Susteren and Barack Obama? A: Greta only talks out of one side of her mouth. Q: What does Barack Obama call lunch with a convicted felon? A:...
  • Bush jokes as protesters burn his effigy outside downtown Montreal hotel

    10/22/2009 3:42:31 PM PDT · by Nachum · 63 replies · 2,607+ views
    google ^ | 10/22/09 | cp
    MONTREAL — As George W. Bush joked with a business crowd inside a historic hotel ballroom Thursday, hundreds of people outside the room cheered while he was being burned in effigy. Police in riot gear and others on horseback held back a crowd of hundreds, including several people who tossed shoes at the Queen Elizabeth hotel in a demonstration of disdain for the man speaking inside. Two protesters tried forcing their way through the line of shield-and baton-carrying police, were wrestled to the ground, and arrested. Ironically, this anti-war protest took place outside the same hotel where the ultimate anti-war...
  • Obama Jokes

    10/15/2009 10:20:50 AM PDT · by Notoriously Conservative · 4 replies · 869+ views
    Making Fun of Liberals ^ | 10/15/09 | Notoriously Conservative
    "President Obama was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. The committee said they gave it gave it to Obama partly for his idealism and commitment to global cooperation, but mostly for calling Kanye West a jackass." -Conan O'Brien --- Q. Why did Jay Leno vote for Barack Obama? A. Because he was running out of George Bush jokes. Q. Why did David Letterman vote for Barack Obama? A. Because he was running out of Jay Leno's George Bush jokes. --- A woman applying for a job in a Florida lemon grove seemed to be far too qualified for the job. The...
  • The Pope in Alaska (humor)

    10/13/2009 6:50:00 AM PDT · by markomalley · 5 replies · 873+ views
    genuinegopmom.blogspot.com ^ | 10/13/2009 | Lisa Graas
    The Pope went on vacation for a few days to visit the rugged mountains of Alaska. He was cruising along the campground in the PopeMobile when he heard a frantic commotion just at the edge of the woods. He found a helpless liberal wearing shorts, sandals, a 'Vote for Obama' hat and a 'Save the Trees' shirt. The man was screaming and struggling frantically, thrashing all about and trying to free himself from the grasp of an 8-foot grizzly bear. As the Pope watched in horror, a group of conservatives, wearing 'Palin 2012' shirts, came racing up. One quickly fired...
  • Some D@mn Fine Obama Jokes...

    10/05/2009 5:47:26 PM PDT · by DogByte6RER · 71 replies · 4,745+ views
    October 5, 2009 | Unknown
    - Q: What's the main problem with Barack Obama jokes? A: His followers don't think they're funny and everyone else doesn't think they're jokes. - Q: Why does Barack Obama oppose the Second Amendment? A: It stands between him and the First. - Q: What's the difference between Rahm Emanuel and a carp? A: One is a scum sucking bottom feeder and the other is a fish. - Q: What's the difference between Greta Van Susteren and Barack Obama? A: Greta only talks out of one side of her mouth. - Q: What does Barack Obama call lunch with a...
  • Pakistan Taliban head cracks jokes, vows vengeance (Hakimullah Mehsud)

    10/05/2009 1:19:41 PM PDT · by NormsRevenge · 14 replies · 609+ views
    AP on Yahoo ^ | 10/5/09 | Ishtiaq Mahsud - ap
    SARAROGHA, Pakistan – Flanked by heavily armed fighters, the new leader of the Pakistani Taliban sat on a blue blanket, amiable and relaxed as he cracked jokes and mixed in threats of vengeance for deadly U.S. airstrikes. One day later, a suicide bomber attacked a U.N. office in Islamabad. Hakimullah Mehsud met with reporters Sunday for the first time since winning control of the militant group, quashing speculation that he had been slain in a succession struggle following the killing of his predecessor in a U.S. drone attack. He also described his group's relationship to al-Qaida as one of "love...
  • Bill Maher Pulls a Don Imus (Makes on 'Ho" joke targeting Michelle Obama)

    09/14/2009 12:07:21 PM PDT · by SeekAndFind · 50 replies · 3,233+ views
    American Thinker ^ | 9/14/2009 | Lee Cary
    Alleged comedian Bill Maher followed in the footsteps of shock jock Don Imus with a "ho" joke, this one targeting Michelle Obama. It came in the context of Maher accusing DRUDGE of "subliminal racism" by posting a headline that read "Poll Hell: Obama Negs Rise." After trying to stretch "Negs" to represent the "n" word, provoking laughter from only a few among his audience, Maher showed several ficticious DRUDGE headlines. One fine one displayed Michelle Obama working with a garden tool in what may have been a ceremonial tree planting. The made-up caption read "Hoein' The Garden." That provoked groans...
  • Reader’s Digest “Best Joke in the World” Contest

    09/01/2009 10:06:51 PM PDT · by Brian_Baldwin · 28 replies · 2,516+ views
    Reader's Digest | September 2009 | Reader's Digest
    When I was a young teenager, I would like to pick up Reader’s Digest and steal a joke from the digest to share with others. I imagined myself a Johnny Carson. Of course that was long time ago, and now I am excited about Jay Leno’s new show and have marked down the date so that I can record the show for a keepsake to share with others. Lately I heard that Reader’s Digest is going bankrupt. Not sure of all the details, but it this came to mind when I noticed a Reader’s Digest for sale at the check...
  • Political Jokes / Truths / Humor

    08/29/2009 10:26:49 AM PDT · by jongaltsr · 15 replies · 1,893+ views
    Mark Twain / Thomas Jefferson/Others
    1. In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm and three or more is a congress. -- John Adams 2. If you don't read the newspaper you are uninformed, if you do read the newspaper you are misinformed. -- Mark Twain 3. Suppose you were an idiot.. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But then I repeat myself. -- Mark Twain 4. I contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and...
  • He liked to joke about Chappaquiddick (Audio)

    08/28/2009 9:07:25 AM PDT · by Heather Hogue · 15 replies · 870+ views
    Examiner ^ | August 28, 2009e | Heather Hogue
    Ed Klein, former editor for Newsweek and New York Times Magazine, was a close personal friend of Ted Kennedy and decided to share some memories of the late Senator on The Diane Rehm Show. KLEIN: I don't know if you know this or not, but one of his favorite topics of humor was indeed Chappaquiddick itself. And he would ask people, "Have you heard any new jokes about Chappaquiddick?" That is just the most amazing thing. It's not that he didn't feel remorse about the death of Mary Jo Kopechne, but that he still always saw the other side of...
  • Ed Klein: Kennedy liked to joke about Chappaquiddick (barf alert)

    08/28/2009 1:49:17 PM PDT · by Justaham · 20 replies · 1,008+ views
    YouTube ^ | 8-27-09
    This isn't an accusation from Ted Kennedy's political opponents, but a nostalgic remembrance by one of his friends. Ed Klein, former Newsweek editor, tells the Diane Rehm Show: "I dont know if you know this or not, but one of his favorite topics of humor was indeed Chappaquiddick itself. And he would ask people, have you heard any new jokes about Chappaquiddick? That is just the most amazing thing. Its not that he didnt feel remorse about the death of Mary Jo Kopechne, but that he still always saw the other side of everything and the ridiculous side of things,...
  • Kennedy 'joked about Chappaquiddick'

    08/28/2009 11:53:05 AM PDT · by RobinMasters · 33 replies · 1,556+ views
    WorldNetDaily ^ | August 27, 2009 | WorldNetDaily
    One of Sen. Ted Kennedy's favorite topics of humor was the incident at Chappaquiddick Island, Mass., in 1969 in which he drove off a bridge and left behind a 28-year-old woman who drowned, according to a biographer who reminisced about the iconic Democrat on a Washington, D.C., talk show this morning. Edward Klein, speaking to WAMU guest host Katty Kay, said one of Kennedy's "favorite topics of humor was, indeed, Chappaquiddick." "He would ask people, 'Have you heard any new jokes about Chappaquiddick?'" said Klein, a former Newsweek foreign editor and former editor in chief of the New York Times...