Keyword: jokes

Brevity: Headers | « Text »
  • Gipper's Greatest Hits: Ronald Reagan Tells Soviet Jokes

    01/15/2011 6:38:35 AM PST · by Reaganite Republican · 9 replies
    Reaganite Republican ^ | January 15, 2011 | Reaganite Republican
    A Soviet citizen went into KGB headquarters and reported he'd lost his parrot. The KGB agent says "what are you bothering us for... why don't you report it to the local police?" The guy says "I just want YOU to know that I don't agree with A WORD of what my parrot has to say..." _____________________________________________________ A guy's walking down the street, late in the evening in Moscow. A soldier calls out for him to halt and he starts running. So the soldier shot him. The other soldier says "why'd you shoot him" He says "curfew". "Well, it isn't...
  • Obama Joke of the Day - November 29

    11/29/2010 8:57:40 AM PST · by toma29 · 5 replies
    Useful Info Nation ^ | 11/29/2010 | Thomas Bryan
    How is it that the WikiLeaks founder is able to obtain millions of pieces of classified documents from the US government? Because to Obama, "classified documents" only means his transcripts and birth certificate. Useful Info Nation
  • Latest Late Night Obama Jokes

    11/23/2010 9:03:31 AM PST · by toma29 · 7 replies
    Hot Air ^ | 11/23/2010 | Andrew Malcolm
    Once upon a time there was widespread concern that America’s late-night TV comedians, who fuel and reflect so much of popular culture’s chatter, would shy away from making fun of the Smoker-in-Chief because, well, you know. As someone who collects these passing smiles, we can report that is not the case. Here are a few recent offerings: Letterman: Vice President Joe Bidens birthday party was over the weekend. President Obama was so excited he asked Biden to attend in his place. Leno: Happy Birthday to Joe Biden. President Obama got him a gag gift. No, not a funny gift. A...
  • Obama Joke of the Day - September 23

    09/23/2010 8:01:14 AM PDT · by toma29 · 4 replies
    Useful Info Nation ^ | 9/23/2010 | Thomas Bryan
    Bill Clinton, Joe Biden and Barack Obama go into a bar. Bill tells the barkeeper, "I'll have a B and C." Obama whispers, "What is a B and C?" "That's a bourbon and Coke," Clinton answers. Then Biden orders, "I'll have a G and T." Obama again whispers, "What's a G and T?" "A gin and tonic," Joe replies. Obama wants to seem like he's one of the guys so he tells the barkeeper, "I'll have a 15." The bartender asks, "What's a 15?" Obama says, "A 7 and 7." Obama has decided to change the name of Air Force...
  • Jerry Brown apologizes for Lewinsky jokes

    09/14/2010 12:55:25 PM PDT · by NormsRevenge · 44 replies
    Yahoo Upshot ^ | 9/14/10 | Rachel Rose Hartman
    Jerry Brown answers a reporter's question.Jerry Brown is running for the 2010 California governorship, but he's spent much of the last week reliving the politics of the 1990s. And Brown's unfortunate lurch into the past culminated Monday with an apology to former President Bill Clinton for taking shots at Clinton's conduct during the Monica Lewinsky scandal. "Bill Clinton was an excellent president," Brown, the state attorney general, said Monday at a news conference. "It was wrong for me to joke about an incident from many years ago, and I'm sorry." Brown's 1990s mystery tour began early last week when his...
  • Conservative Dem lawmaker jokes about Speaker Pelosi dying

    08/26/2010 2:22:20 PM PDT · by Nachum · 16 replies
    the hill ^ | 8/26/10 | Jordan Fabian
    Democratic Rep. Bobby Bright (Ala.) on Wednesday ducked a question on whether or not he would vote for Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) by joking that she "might even get sick and die." Bright, a centrist Blue Dog who voted against the healthcare reform law, made the comments in response to a question about whether he'd support Pelosi to retain the Speaker's gavel. Speaking at a local Chamber of Commerce event, Bright "joked that Pelosi might lose her own election, decide not to run for the speaker’s job or otherwise not be available," the Montgomery Advertiser wrote. He then suggested "jokingly"...
  • ABC Links Dan Quayle’s ‘Potatoe’ to His Son: ‘Dust off the Jokes and Hold on to Your Potatoes’

    08/16/2010 3:51:01 PM PDT · by Nachum · 53 replies
    NewsBusters ^ | 8/16/10 | Brad Wilmouth
    Saturday’s Good Morning America on ABC devoted a full report to former Vice President Dan Quayle’s son Ben’s run for Congress in Arizona, focusing primarily on perceived gaffes by both him and his father. As anchor John Berman set up the report, he gave the impression that he views the former Vice President primarily as a joke: "It's time to dust off the jokes and hold on to your potatoes. Who can forget the vice presidency of Dan Quayle? His mortal feud with TV's Murphy Brown. His battles with the dictionary. Well, now, one of his children wants to follow...
  • Reaganite's Sunday Funnies

    07/11/2010 3:12:06 AM PDT · by Reaganite Republican · 8 replies
    Reaganite Republican ^ | July 10, 2010 | Reaganite Republican
    Just linking here to the best conservative humor of the week, compiled each Sunday... As the hollow fraud of Obamamania implodes, the editorial cartoonists are having a FIELD DAY... at least somebody has found a growth industry in the grim Obammunist era:
  • The Web's Worst Lawyer Commercials

    07/09/2010 8:05:06 AM PDT · by KeyLargo · 7 replies
    You're flipping channels late at night and come across what can only be a preview for the latest Public Access show. Turns out it's an ad for an overeager lawyer hoping to separate themselves from the (wolf) pack. A friendly tip from the Urlesque staff: don't try so hard. We've compiled the Web's worst lawyer commercials to show you that just because you went to law school (presumably via e-mail), doesn't mean you can't call someone an "illiterate boob" on television.
  • From Playboy to The Daily Show (Olivia Munn: I Scored 'Daily Show' Gig With Holocaust Joke)

    06/08/2010 9:04:57 PM PDT · by nickcarraway · 14 replies · 506+ views
    nternet star Olivia Munn has joined The Daily Show, not previously known for its hot women of color. Denise Martin talks to her about OCD and joking about the Holocaust with Jon Stewart. Maybe it says something about The Daily Show producers that they didn’t already know who Olivia Munn was before asking her to join their team of fake news correspondents. Because if you’re a guy—as all but two of the Daily Show writers are—and you’re online, chances are you’ve stumbled across pictures of Munn on the covers of Playboy and Maxim. You’ve probably seen the videos of her...
  • “Plug the damn hole” jokes

    05/26/2010 2:59:22 PM PDT · by Big Bureaucracy · 15 replies · 594+ views
    Big Bureaucracy ^ | May 26th, 2010 | Ellie Velinska
    ‘Plug that damn hole’ is not an advertising for the new iTampons but an alleged quote by President Obama commenting on the BP oil spill. However, the right wing bloggers are probably taking the phrase out of context. May be the President was reading the title of the porn video that the federal oil regulators were watching while vacationing on the dime of the companies that they were supposed to be regulating. May be he was referring to the doughnut hole that the oppressive imperialistic capitalists created so they can make you pay for air. May be he was giving...
  • Obama notes things hard to find, keep: 'love and a birth certificate'

    05/01/2010 8:25:17 PM PDT · by Syncro · 54 replies · 2,882+ views
    The Hill ^ | May 1, 2010 | Bridget Johnson and Kevin Bogardus
    Obama notes things hard to find, keep: 'love and a birth certificate' By Bridget Johnson and Kevin Bogardus - 05/01/10 10:41 PM ET President Barack Obama took shots at his poll drops, birthers, death panels, and Arizona's new immigration law on Saturday night. Obama opened for comedian Jay Leno at the White House Correspondents' Dinner, noting that Leno was the "only person whose ratings fell more than mine. "I'm also glad I'm speaking first, because we've all seen what happens when someone takes the time slot after Leno," Obama said in reference to the Conan O'Brien "Tonight Show" fiasco....
  • Katrina Jokes – Revisited after the BP oil spill

    04/30/2010 2:56:14 PM PDT · by Big Bureaucracy · 20 replies · 2,514+ views
    Big Bureaucracy ^ | April 30th, 2010 | Ellie Velinska
    The late night jokes about President Bush are part of the history of the nation that was seeking comfort and somebody to blame after Katrina. Let’s take a trip back in time and check if the same jokes can give us comic relief today when Louisiana is facing new environmental disaster. "Finally today convoys of troops and aid started to arrive along the Gulf Coast. Five days after the hurricane hit. Kind of makes you miss the innocent days when Bush only sat on his ass for seven minutes. It only took him four days to make a plan,...
  • A Conservative Voted Democrat Because...

    04/29/2010 11:43:44 AM PDT · by scottfactor · 5 replies · 579+ views
    scottfactor.com ^ | 04/17/2010 | Scott Factor
    I voted Democrat because…... I love the fact that I can now marry whatever I want. I've decided to marry my horse. I voted Democrat because… I believe oil companies' profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene but the government taxing the same gallon of gas at 15% isn't. I voted Democrat because… I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would. I voted Democrat because… Freedom of speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it. I voted Democrat because… When we pull out of...
  • Iceland volcano jokes cover the net.

    04/19/2010 7:39:52 AM PDT · by Big Bureaucracy · 12 replies · 2,862+ views
    Big Bureaucracy ^ | April 19th, 2010 | Ellie Velinska
    Iceland to Europe: Do you lava me like I lava you?The last wish of the Icelandic economy was to have its ashes scattered over Europe. UK is grounded and this time it is not by Obama.Hiring volcanologists! Call UBL. Eyjafjallajokull is erupting only twice a year: April through September and October through March.Gordon Brown asked for cash, but there is no C in the Icelandic alphabet. My house is covered with dust with a stench of sulfur. Do you live in Iceland? Nope… still married. Redundant aircraft was spotted miraculously flying over the North Pole. Santa? Nope… the Russian Aeroflot...
  • Jokes about Obama and Pelosi

    03/18/2010 6:09:53 AM PDT · by Gopher Broke · 14 replies · 1,878+ views
    The liberals are asking us to give Obama time. We agree - and think 25 to life would be appropriate. Jay Leno America needs Obama-Care like Nancy Pelosi needs a Halloween mask. Jay Leno Q: Have you heard about McDonald's' new Obama Value Meal? A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it. Conan O'Brian Q: What does Barack Obama call lunch with a convicted felon? A: A fund raiser. Jay Leno Q: What's the difference between Obama's cabinet and a penitentiary? A: One is filled with tax evaders, blackmailers and threats to society....
  • Post a joke thread

    02/19/2010 1:39:51 AM PST · by Sarah-bot · 78 replies · 1,346+ views
    Me | Today | Self
    People should post their favorite joke on a thread.
  • Roger Ebert Makes Fat Jokes After Limbaugh's Hospital Visit

    01/04/2010 4:39:06 PM PST · by Nachum · 36 replies · 1,883+ views
    Newsbusters ^ | 1/4/10 | Lachlan Markay
    In a demonstration of Hollywood's quintessentially intolerant hatred of conservatives, film critic Roger Ebert took to the Twitterverse on Saturday to mock Rush Limbaugh and his sudden trip to a Hawaii hospital (h/t Big Hollywood headlines). Ebert was hardly alone in rejoicing Limbaugh's hospital visit--and distressed when he was given a clean bill of health.
  • Some Humor To Start Your Day!

    12/19/2009 2:46:55 AM PST · by Wpin · 25 replies · 1,499+ views
    Friend ^ | 12/19/09 | Anon
    Q: What's the main problem with Barack Obama jokes? A: His followers don't think they're funny and everyone else doesn't think they're jokes. Q: Why does Barack Obama oppose the Second Amendment? A: It stands between him and the First. Q: What's the difference between Rahm Emanuel and a carp? A: One is a scum sucking bottom feeder and the other is a fish. Q: What's the difference between Greta Van Susteren and Barack Obama? A: Greta only talks out of one side of her mouth. Q: What does Barack Obama call lunch with a convicted felon? A: A fund...
  • Let The Tiger Jokes Begin...

    12/03/2009 6:03:15 AM PST · by Road Warrior ‘04 · 54 replies · 2,581+ views
    Self | 12-3-09 | Bushbacker1
    Let 'em begin: