Keyword: lifeguard

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  • Rescued woman tracks down lifeguard who saved her in 1964

    04/11/2013 11:31:02 AM PDT · by Daffynition · 5 replies
    NBCNews ^ | April 11, 2013 | Gus Rosendale
    A woman who was rescued by a lifeguard when she nearly drowned in a pool as a 5-year-old has found her hero, almost 50 years after her brush with death. Eady Rothstein, from Ramsey, N.J., was sitting on the edge of a pool at a club near Lido Beach on New York’s Long Island in 1964 when she suddenly slipped in. "I can picture being underwater, screaming," recalled Rothstein. A young lifeguard jumped in and gave the little girl mouth-to-mouth resuscitation for several minutes. He persisted until she regained consciousness, saving her life. "I've always said I wanted to thank...
  • Lifeguard gets bill [for $2,583] after ocean rescue

    08/02/2012 6:03:00 PM PDT · by grundle · 58 replies
    koinlocal6.com ^ | July 31, 2012 | Kohr Harlan
    VANCOUVER, Wash. -- Seventeen-year-old John Clark, a senior at Hudson's Bay, says he didn't think twice about running into the ocean to save a drowning 12-year-old. But what he hasn't stopped thinking about, is the bill he received as a result of his effort. What started at Rockaway Beach The guardian angel is busy this week teaching Boy Scouts to tie knots. It's a far cry from the sand at Rockaway Beach nearly a month ago -- when John Clark heard screams for help from a 12-year-old swept out to sea. The call for help came just five days after...
  • Symptoms of a sick culture

    07/06/2012 7:23:34 AM PDT · by Kaslin · 20 replies
    Townhall.com ^ | July 6, 2012 | Jonah Goldberg
    The late Sen. Daniel Patrick Moynihan famously remarked that, "The central conservative truth is that it is culture, not politics, that determines the success of a society. The central liberal truth is that politics can change a culture and save it from itself." I've always liked that quote, but I think it misleads. That two plus two equals four is not a conservative truth or a liberal truth. It's simply the truth. (Moynihan himself recognized this when he even more famously said that people are entitled to their own opinions but not their own facts.) Regardless, it's true that...
  • Fired Florida Lifeguard's Coworkers Out After Admitting They'd Save Man Outside Zone

    07/04/2012 3:58:33 PM PDT · by dayglored · 76 replies
    ABC News ^ | July 4, 2012 | ALEXIS SHAW, MATT GUTMAN, CANDACE SMITH, KATIE MOISSE
    Six Florida lifeguards have lost their jobs for backing a coworker's decision to save a man struggling in the surf but outside their jurisdiction. Tomas Lopez , 21, was fired Monday for vacating his lifeguarding zone to save a man drowning in unprotected waters 1,500 feet south of his post on Hallandale Beach, Fla. "I knew I broke the rules," said Lopez, who ran past the buoy marking the boundary of his patrol zone to help the man. "I told the manager, I'm fired aren't I?" Lopez said he jumped into the water and "I double underhooked him…I was worried...
  • Lifeguard, 61, sues state for firing him after he refused to wear Speedo

    08/18/2011 12:19:52 PM PDT · by DFG · 38 replies
    NY Daily News ^ | 08/18/11 | Thomas Zambito
    Roy Lester is out to prove that no man above the age of 50 has any business wearing a skimpy, form-hugging Speedo. In 2007, Lester was forced out of the Jones Beach lifeguard job he had held for four decades when he was told he had to squeeze into a Speedo for the annual swim test. The 61-year-old Long Island man, who preferred his slightly more modest pair of biking shorts, refused and lost his job.
  • Lifeguarding in OC (California) is totally lucrative; some make over $200k

    05/11/2011 5:20:51 AM PDT · by rightwingintelligentsia · 6 replies
    Orange County Register ^ | May 10, 2011 | Brian Calle
    High pay and benefits for lifeguards in Newport Beach is the latest example of frustrating levels of compensation for public employees. More than half the city’s full-time lifeguards are paid a salary of over $100,000 and all but one of them collect more than $100,000 in total compensation including benefits. When thinking about career options with high salaries, lifeguarding is probably not one of the first jobs to come to mind. But it apparently should. In one of Orange County’s most desirable beach destinations, Newport Beach, lifeguards are compensated all too well; especially compared with the county annual median household...
  • Drowning Doesn’t Look Like Drowning ( Must Read )

    07/09/2010 8:16:57 AM PDT · by ventanax5 · 113 replies · 1+ views
    The new captain jumped from the cockpit, fully dressed, and sprinted through the water. A former lifeguard, he kept his eyes on his victim as he headed straight for the owners who were swimming between their anchored sportfisher and the beach. “I think he thinks you’re drowning,” the husband said to his wife. They had been splashing each other and she had screamed but now they were just standing, neck-deep on the sand bar. “We’re fine, what is he doing?” she asked, a little annoyed. “We’re fine!” the husband yelled, waving him off, but his captain kept swimming hard. ”Move!”...
  • Captain Robert Craig, Ocean City Beach Patrol, Maryland- "OC Family Grateful"

    05/25/2009 1:07:06 PM PDT · by real_patriotic_american · 2 replies · 624+ views
    The Dispatch (Maryland Coast Dispatch) ^ | May 25, 2009 | The Craig Family
    OC Family Grateful Editor: Saturday, April 25, 2009 was a beautiful day, and it was made even more wonderful by the outpouring of affection expressed toward Captain Robert S. Craig at his Beach Memorial Service. The Craig children and family appreciate all that was done to honor our “Pop,” a man so many in Ocean City have known and loved for so many years. The Beach Memorial was truly memorable and more special than we could have possibly imagined. We have many people to thank for their efforts in making it happen. We learned very quickly that organizing such an...
  • Ocean City Bids Farewell to OCBP Capt. Robert Craig

    05/12/2009 5:58:04 AM PDT · by real_patriotic_american · 31 replies · 730+ views
    Ocean City Today ^ | May 1, 2009 | (Non Listed)
    (At right) Flanked by friends and family members, a wreath is carried down the beach to be released into the ocean in memory of Craig, "founding father" of the Beach Patrol. Carrying the wreath is the current head of the organization, Capt. Butch Arbin, who is flanked by Craig's son, Robert Craig, and grandson, Christopher Craig. (Above) Sean Williams pushes a surf board, carrying the wreath and the ashes of Capt. Craig, toward a Coast Guard boat, which released the wreath farther from the shore.
  • Memorial Service planned to honor Captain Robert S. Craig

    04/10/2009 4:24:09 PM PDT · by real_patriotic_american · 3 replies · 467+ views
    News Releases: from Public Relations Office, Town of Ocean City, MD. ^ | April 8, 2009 | Donna Abbott, P.R. Director, Town of Ocean City, MD.
    News Release: April 8, 2009 Memorial Service planned to honor Captain Robert S. Craig Ocean City, MD – A memorial service for Captain Robert (Bob) S. Craig will be held 3 p.m. Saturday, April 25 on the beach at North Division Street. Captain Craig passed away on Saturday, March 28 at the age of 90. Captain Craig joined the Ocean City Beach Patrol in 1935 and served as its captain from 1946 until retiring in 1987. Captain Craig is credited with building the Ocean City Beach Patrol into the professional organization it is known as today. When Captain Craig turned...
  • Longtime OCBP Captain, Bob Craig, dies (ROBERT CRAIG: 1918-2009)

    04/07/2009 2:36:23 PM PDT · by real_patriotic_american · 3 replies · 722+ views
    Ocean City Today ^ | April 3, 2009 | NANCY POWELL Associate Editor
    (April 3, 2009) The man who not only epitomized the Ocean City Beach Patrol, but also built it into a serious and professional organization, passed away Saturday. When Capt. Robert (Bob) S. Craig turned 90 last July, a competition, dinner and slide show honored him for his 52 years as a town employee and member of the Beach Patrol. Thousands knew Craig from his years guiding the Beach Patrol and taking it from a small, relatively unskilled group of young men to a large group of highly skilled young men and women. Capt. Butch Arbin, the current head of the...
  • OC Beach Patrol Icon Remembered

    04/07/2009 5:29:24 AM PDT · by real_patriotic_american · 6 replies · 633+ views
    The Dispatch ^ | April 3, 2009 | By Shawn J. Soper, News Editor
    OCEAN CITY – Ocean City lost a treasured icon this week when Captain Robert S. Craig, who shepherded the Beach Patrol through decades of change and inspired his young charges for half a century passed away at the age of 90. Captain Craig, as he was known for decades not only by the thousands of lifeguards who worked with him and for him but also by the countless millions of local residents and visitors to the resort area, passed away last Saturday at the Coastal Hospice in Salisbury at the age of 90. A former schoolteacher and coach, Captain Craig...
  • 'Banned' lifeguard dog reinstated

    03/28/2009 12:13:04 PM PDT · by JoeProBono · 57 replies · 3,068+ views
    news.bbc ^ | 28 March 2009
    A lifeguard dog banned from patrolling a Cornish beach because of health and safety rules is to be reinstated after hundreds of people signed a petition. Bilbo, a Newfoundland, patrolled Sennen with his lifeguard master and got round a dog ban on the beach by sitting in an all terrain bike (ATB) during patrols. However, the RNLI said passengers were not allowed on ATBs and banned him.
  • Muslim life guards kick cultural cliché [barf]

    01/11/2007 11:24:35 AM PST · by Alouette · 30 replies · 1,178+ views
    Telegraph ^ | Jan. 9, 2007 | Nick Squires
    Australia's first Muslim life savers are due to qualify this week as part of a drive to represent more accurately the country's multi-cultural mix. The bronzed, blond life saver has been the embodiment of beach culture for a century and ranks alongside the bushranger and jackaroo as a quintessential Australian icon. [...] The campaign to recruit Australians of Middle Eastern heritage has been funded by a A$600,000 (£242,000) grant from the federal government. It is an attempt torebuild community relations after the Cronulla riots of December 2005, when gangs of white and Middle Eastern youths clashed, smashing car windows and...
  • Democrat leaders knew drunken Kennedy drove off bridge, left girl to die, and paid off family

    10/01/2006 7:03:57 PM PDT · by doug from upland · 114 replies · 3,956+ views
    ytedk.com ^ | 101-06 | ytedk, comments by dfu
    NOTE: Mark Foley should have resigned earlier and should be prosecuted to the full extend of the law. ========================================================== GREAT BACKGROUND IS HERE - Farrar thrust himself through the open window and into the car. Looking up, he found the body of a young woman. Her head was cocked back, her face pressed into the footwell. Both hands gripped the front edge of the back seat to hold herself in conformity with its upholstered contours. It was not the position assumed by a person knocked unconscious by the impact of a crash, Farrar said. "If she had been dead or...
  • Fewer and fewer colleges requiring swimming test to graduate

    05/07/2006 11:30:26 AM PDT · by Dog Gone · 115 replies · 2,583+ views
    associated press ^ | May 7, 2006 | JUSTIN POPE
    On a recent Friday morning, a line of bathing-suit clad students stood beside a campus swimming pool, waiting to jump in. They had come to persuade the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill they were worthy of a college degree — which they were not, in UNC's eyes, until they could swim 50 yards and tread water for five minutes.For many, it was an annoying inconvenience, for others a moment of pride in conquering their fear of water. But the scene also was a small slice of collegiate history. This was the last swim test day at one of...
  • DFU SONG: More (more people died in Kennedy's car than by Cheney's gun)

    02/14/2006 7:23:07 AM PST · by doug from upland · 9 replies · 529+ views
    DFU SONGS and commentary on the news | 2-2006 | Lyrics, Doug from Upland
    MIDI - MORE (scroll down to second section) More human beings died in Teddy's car Than lost their lives by Cheney's gun, so far More times Ted cheated on a Spanish test So, you reporters just give it a rest More left wing bias has shown through...it is what they always do If their side's not winning, we will see their daily spinning More campaign finance fraud by Hillary Than throughout all GOP history More rapes by their last president...it is very evident He's what "scumbag" always meant More skin has been stretched on Pelosi's face She's on a...
  • No Nursing With 'Distracting' Breasts At YMCA Pool

    01/27/2006 11:33:35 PM PST · by Westlander · 87 replies · 2,305+ views
    The Associated Press ^ | January 27, 2006 | AP
    ANN ARBOR, Mich. -- The lifeguards find bare breasts distracting. That's one of the reasons officials at the Ann Arbor, Mich., YMCA said they've banned breast-feeding at the pool. But nursing moms counter that's no excuse. The breast-feeding mothers plan a nurse-in at the Y Saturday to protest the ban. However, Krista Dragun, one of the protest organizers, said they'll be nursing their babies in the lobby, not the pool area. She said they want the Y to adopt a more mother-baby friendly policy for the pool. Y officials note there's no eating or drinking allowed at the pool for...
  • DFU SONG: Bridge Over Troubled Water (Ted threatens to drive "Alioto" off bridge)

    01/11/2006 4:43:22 PM PST · by doug from upland · 8 replies · 622+ views
    DFU SONGS | 1-2006 | Lyrics, Doug from Upland
    MIDI - BRIDGE OVER TROUBLED WATER (musical intro) Alioto, you will be grilled Before we're done with you, we'll have had our fill You racist scum, we'll certainly be exposing you So I am warning you There's a bridge off of which I'll drive you if you don't withdraw There's a bridge off of which I'll drive you if you don't withdraw I failed lifeguard class...you know that But I float pretty well because I am so fat My Oldsmobile has been restored to original So I am warning you There's a bridge off of which I'll drive you...
  • Fla. Lifeguard Drives Over Sunbather's Head --- Official: Soft Sand Likely Saved Woman

    11/17/2005 9:47:23 AM PST · by kingattax · 7 replies · 546+ views
    For the second time, a Miami Beach lifeguard driving a truck has run over a sunbather lying on the beach. Miami Beach Fire Chief Javier Otero said the 3,400-pound lifeguard truck ran over 19-year-old Jillian Gonzalez's head and shoulder on Sunday. An official said the soft sand likely saved her life because she was able to stand upright after being run over, according to the report. "I couldn't see it but I knew it was a tire and I could feel the indentations in the tire, and I knew I was being run over," Gonzalez said. And I told him...
  • Democrats stray - Vulture who resembles a sparrow leads party to the extreme

    09/18/2005 8:40:24 AM PDT · by gpapa · 14 replies · 1,346+ views
    The Calgary Sun ^ | September 18, 2005 | Paul Jackson
    DALLAS -- It would be hard to find a nastier piece of political work than Nancy Pelosi, the shrieking Democratic leader in the U.S. House of Representatives. Which is saying something considering failed Chappaquiddick lifeguard Teddy Kennedy is still haunting the halls of Washington preaching high morality to one and all.
  • DFU SONG: In the Air Tonight (Mary Jo would die if she breathed the air tonight)

    09/06/2005 12:15:15 PM PDT · by doug from upland · 3 replies · 405+ views
    DFU SONGS | 9-2005 | Lyrics, Doug from Upland
    MIDI - IN THE AIR TONIGHT (0:35) If Mary Jo was breathing in our air tonight, she'd die If Mary Jo was breathing in our air tonight, she'd die If Mary Jo was breathing in our air tonight, she'd die...she'd die (1:14) Teddy Lifeguard sent out his letter...about the GOP ----- They've poisoned water and our air Just take a big breath, my friends, and you will see They have a right wing agenda, you should know Send money to me right away And I will spend some on Scotch...but the rest will be used To shut those guys...
  • DFU SONG: Michael Row the Boat Ashore (Mary Jo never reached the shore -- Teddy killed her)

    07/18/2005 4:05:58 PM PDT · by doug from upland · 32 replies · 1,003+ views
    DFU SONGS | 7-2005 | Lyrics, Doug from Upland
    July 19: Happy Anniversary to Ted -- MICHAEL ROW THE BOAT ASHORE Mary Jo did not reach shore...Teddy killed her She could not open the door...Teddy killed her He had emptied out the fridge...Teddy killed her Then he drove off of the bridge...Teddy killed her He left her in the car to die...Teddy killed her He really is that kinda guy...Teddy killed her For ten hours he'd hidden the crime...Teddy killed her To save her, there had still been time...Teddy killed her Then he wore a fake neck brace...Teddy killed her That slug is such a disgrace...Teddy killed her...
  • DFU SONG: Rhinestone Cowboy (Lifeguard Teddy at nominee hearings)

    07/11/2005 9:39:18 PM PDT · by doug from upland · 345+ views
    DFU SONGS | 7-2005 | Lyrics, Doug from Upland
    MIDI - RHINESTONE COWBOY Leftist interest groups are sensing doom…the nominee's in the room They know that they need some help and they need it quickly Barbara Boxer’s starting to whine…but things are not going fine She’s ignored as a fool Look who is standing in the doorway…he has just flown in from Norway A bloated and drunk mound of flesh, but he is their tool It is Lifeguard Teddy…maybe he’ll take him out on the bridge for a friendly drive It is Lifeguard Teddy…if he goes there’s no chance the nominee will survive The old drunk will get...
  • DFU SONG: A Little Help from My Friends (what Kennedy means by extraordinary)

    07/06/2005 5:34:05 PM PDT · by doug from upland · 8 replies · 460+ views
    DFU SONGS | 7-2005 | Lyrics, Doug from Upland
    MIDI - A LITTLE HELP FROM MY FRIENDS What would it take for a filibuster To be keeping you off of the court What if you left a girl so she would die For 10 hours you made no report Hey, that might just be extraordinary...hey, I think many of us would agree Yes, that would be extraordinary What if you're scared of your last Spanish test You'd not studied 'cause you're such a fool What if you hired a friend to take your test You got caught and you're thrown out of school Hey, that might just be...
  • DFU SONG: Take Me Out to the Ballgame (drunken killer lifeguard challenges Rummy)

    06/26/2005 8:41:56 AM PDT · by doug from upland · 6 replies · 703+ views
    DFU SONGS | 6-2005 | Lyrics, Doug from Upland
    MIDI - TAKE ME OUT TO THE BALLGAME Take me to Teddy's ballgame...we'll hear him shouting loud He will tell Rummy he ought to quit We know Teddy is so full of it He will root, root, root for the bad guys If we lose it's a shame For it's one, two, three fifths he's drunk That is Teddy's game Take me to Teddy's ballgame...he'll go out on a bridge We hear a big splash and a gurgle sound He hopes the body never is found He will root, root, root for the bad guys If we lose it's...
  • Chappaquiddick Caption Contest

    01/14/2005 8:34:18 AM PST · by GOP and the City · 64 replies · 2,424+ views
    GOP and the City | 1/14/05 | The Man
    Captain Kennedy Caption Contest 1) Create a caption, post it in the comments section 2) Say "Captain Kennedy Caption Contest" 10 times 3) Photoshop entries are welcome 4) Don't drink and drive
  • DFU SONG: It Never Rains in California (the DemocRATS warned ya --- it's Bush's fault)

    01/10/2005 8:30:57 AM PST · by doug from upland · 7 replies · 556+ views
    DFU SONGS | 1-2005 | Lyrics, Doug from Upland
    MIDI - IT NEVER RAINS IN CALIFORNIA Sometimes we have really had enough of water Mary Jo found that out thirty-five years ago Water boarding for the terrorists Lifeguard Ted is so p*ssed Enough...we've had enough What the heck is all this rain in California My roof's leaking, and I think it's just three years old Why all of the rain in California? The DemocRATS warned ya Whose fault?...it's Bush's fault They loathe George Bush...he fills them with dread And many have gone right out of their head Some even wish that they were now dead John Kerry had...
  • DFU SONG: Christmas 2004 - Sleigh Ride (bwaahahahahaha; Ted takes Kofi for a ride)

    12/21/2004 8:32:44 PM PST · by doug from upland · 6 replies · 329+ views
    DFU CHRISTMAS 2004 SONGS | 12-2004 | Lyrics, Doug from Upland
    (cut and past this URL if the link below becomes inoperable)- http://www.garyrog.50megs.com/xmas.html MIDI - SLEIGH RIDE - long version Saddam was skimming money and laughed his way to the bank The nitwit airhead leftists are the ones he should certainly thank The U.N. is a pain in the butt with Kofi as head The time is right for riding in a nice Oldsmobile with Ted I can't wait, I can't wait, I can't wait to hear...that gurgling sound Yogi would say it's dejavu again Ted will run, Ted will run, Ted will run away...till the body's found He'll drink until...
  • A MAJOR ANNIVERSARY FOR TED KENNEDY IS NEAR !!

    07/17/2004 1:38:28 PM PDT · by GeorgeW23225 · 58 replies · 3,177+ views
    New York Post | 7/17/04 | GeorgeW23225
    Hey FReepers !!! Just a reminder !! The 35th anniversary of the death of Mary Jo Kopechne is July 19th, 2004. It's time to send Teddy some anniversary cards!! Senator Ted Kennedy 315 Russell Senate Office Building Washington, D.C., 20510 Senator Ted Kennedy 2400 JFK Building Bston. MA., 02203 I think it would so very appropriate for ALL FReepers to let Teddy know that WE remember. He deserves it !! MAIL THOSE ANNIVERSARY CARDS TODAY !!!
  • The Fog of War is Us

    05/19/2004 8:49:18 AM PDT · by Osage Orange · 6 replies · 151+ views
    The Daily Oklahoman ^ | 05-19-2004 | Kathleen Parker
    The fog of war is us 2004-05-19 By Kathleen Parker When I was a kid, we were taught a few rules, among which was never talk about religion or politics in polite company. Rarely have such quaint rules felt more timely. The heat of recent months amid increasingly bad news from Iraq has divided Americans as never before. At a recent meeting of the American Society of Newspaper Editors in Washington, one speaker cited a poll that posed this question: Do you think George W. Bush has united or divided America? Responses were split right down the middle, 50/50. These...
  • DFU SONG: In My Merry Oldsmobile (classic commercial theme song is perfect Kennedy song)

    05/09/2004 9:34:00 PM PDT · by doug from upland · 7 replies · 311+ views
    DFU SONG PARODIES | 5-2004 | Lyrics, Doug from Upland
    MIDI - IN MY MERRY OLDSMOBILE When he was younger, he learned to swim...a lifeguard he hoped to be But things don't always work out as planned...in this case he would soon see He had someone take his diving test...I think, my friends, you know the rest One night he emptied out the whole fridge...and then drove off the bridge Mary Jo, you'll love the feel of my 4-door Oldsmobile Let the wind blow through your hair...we will pretend we have no care Mary Jo, some time we'll steal...in my spacious Oldsmobile I should never have had those last...
  • DFU SONG: When I'm 64 (Mary Jo, Teddy the drunken lifeguard, and Charles Pierce)

    12/31/2003 7:26:19 AM PST · by doug from upland · 10 replies · 249+ views
    DFU SONG PARODIES | 12-2003 | Lyrics, Doug from Upland
    QUOTE OF THE YEAR "If she had lived, Mary Jo Kopechne would be 62 years old. Through his tireless work as a legislator, Edward Kennedy would have brought comfort to her in her old age." - Charles Pierce in the Boston Globe Magazine. Kopechne drowned while trapped in Kennedy's submerged car off Chappaquiddick Island in 1969, an accident Kennedy did not report for several hours. MIDI - WHEN I'M 64 He had submerged her then ran away...many years ago Charles Pierce knows Teddy still would be her friend...looked out for her right to the end Please stop your laughing...give him...
  • Kennedy Fails to Prolong Senate Medicare Bill Debate

    11/24/2003 12:11:08 PM PST · by Bubba_Leroy · 71 replies · 151+ views
    Bloomberg.com ^ | November 24, 2003 | Bloomberg
    <p>U.S. Senator Edward Kennedy and his fellow Democrats failed in a midday attempt to block a vote on a $395 billion Medicare bill to revamp Medicare, the federal health- insurance program for the elderly and disabled.</p> <p>The Senate, including Minority Leader Tom Daschle, voted 70- 29 to prevent a delaying tactic called a filibuster. The vote sets a 30-hour limit on debate on the Medicare bill.</p>
  • Free Club if You Join Today

    11/17/2003 8:03:36 AM PST · by ForGod'sSake · 33 replies · 188+ views
    My feeble mind | 11/17/03 | Moi
    The Pillaging Hordes The leaders, L-R     John Robinson, Jim Robinson, Bob J. A depiction of our club which can be personalized upon request. Three beads per letter; no refunds; some restrictions may apply. Offer not valid in NY, CA, NJ, etc. FGS
  • DFU SONG: Alley Oop (Kennedy - Neanderthal nominees)

    11/14/2003 4:22:59 PM PST · by doug from upland · 33 replies · 383+ views
    DFU SONG PARODIES | 11-2003 | Lyrics, Doug from Upland
    As long as these Neanderthals keep coming before the Senate, the drunken killer lifeguard will turn them down. MIDI - ALLEY OOP Neander-er-thals...they're Neander-er-er-thals There are judges that I will never be confirming They're Neander-er-er-thals My lard butt sits here and without squirming They're Neander-er-er-thals While standing upright they've a funny walk They're Neander-er-er-thals They babble when they're trying to talk They're Neander-er-er-thals And I have noticed muscles they have are good for hunting They're Neander-er-er-thals They're something like two hundred thousand years behind the times They're Neander-er-er-thals They do not know that a dollar's the same as ten...
  • DFU SONG: One Tin Soldier (one drunk Chappaquidick lifeguard)

    10/20/2003 4:08:50 PM PDT · by doug from upland · 5 replies · 632+ views
    DFU SONG PARODIES | 10-2003 | Lyrics, Doug from Upland
    MIDI - ONE TIN SOLDIER Listen, children, to a story of a man out of control We don't know when it had happened...somewhere he would forfeit his soul He's not ex-communicated...why did his church give him room After all, he had no problem...killing babies in the womb Chappaquidick lifeguard Teddy...he is always in a rage He's a man who keeps on getting...more ridiculous with age He got a message from Dean Wormer...read by his ex-wife Being drunken, fat, and stupid...is no way to go through your life Hannity convinced the lifeguard to say just a word or two It...
  • THIS IS THE DRUNKEN SLOB LIFEGUARD KILLER WHO CALLS OUR PRESIDENT A LIAR

    10/16/2003 3:36:32 PM PDT · by doug from upland · 100 replies · 1,796+ views
    On the radio today, I heard clips of Lifeguard Ted Kennedy on the floor of the Senate repeatedly calling our president a liar. Here is some background on Teddy. What a slug of a human being. He calls someone else a liar? In this report, we don't even get into the killing of Mary Jo. ================================================== The following are excerpts from : The Kennedy Men: Three Generations of Sex, Scandal, and Secrets - by Nellie Bly - Ted managed to graduate from prep school (Milton Academy) in 1950 with only a C average. - Teddy was never a scholar, and...