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Keyword: notfunny

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  • Megyn Kelly's Debate With Black Guest Degenerates Into Shouting Match

    07/15/2016 6:02:10 AM PDT · by rktman · 64 replies ^ | 7/14/2016 | Randy Hall
    During Wednesday evening's edition of The Kelly File on the Fox News Channel, host Megyn Kelly wound up clashing with guest D. L. Hughley -- a black author, political commentator, radio host and stand-up comedian -- regarding the fatal shooting of Philando Castile by police officer Jeronimo Yanez on July 6 in a suburb of St. Paul, Minnesota. While Kelly tried to keep the discussion civil, Hughley got angry and tried to slam the network when he sarcastically stated: “The only place racism doesn't exist is Fox News and the Police Department.” “You just insulted millions of people watching this...
  • How To Write A Good Opus

    05/13/2016 8:35:57 AM PDT · by blueunicorn6 · 85 replies
    blueunicorn6 | 5/13/2016 | blueunicorn6
    I think we all agree that the quality of the opuses here on Free Republic has dropped considerably. Yes, I know that the plural of opus is opera. To me, opera is just some people putting themselves on a stage and waving their arms around and screaming something that nobody understands. By golly, that is exactly what the opus writers do. Still, the dictionary assures me that "opuses" is also a correct plural form of "opus". If you don't like it, well, write that into your Italian. My Dad always told me, "If you're going to write an opus,...
  • Margaret Cho loses it on stage (fat, angry, leftist, liberal, lesbian meltdown)

    03/29/2016 8:20:40 AM PDT · by DCBryan1 · 65 replies
    Page 6 ^ | 28 MAR 16 | Jessica Sanger
    Rape is no laughing matter to Margaret Cho or to the audience that walked out of one of her performances on Saturday night. Cho, 47, performed at the Stress Factory comedy club in New Brunswick, NJ, on Saturday to a sold-out crowd, but not a happy one. Witnesses tell Page Six that Cho opened her set by talking about Garry Shandling’s death and her own rape instead of telling jokes. “She kept on talking about rape and how bad rape is, and it evidently pissed off a few people in the audience,” an audience member told us. “She really got...
  • 'You know that's like some $5 wine': Obama turns stand-up and rips into Trump's 'over-priced' wine

    03/12/2016 8:13:35 PM PST · by pilgrim · 95 replies
    Daily Mail ^ | March 12, 2016 | Kahlan Rosenblatt
    President Obama gave what could easily be considered a stand-up comedy routine at a Democratic fundraiser in Dallas, Texas, on Saturday. The president hasn't endorsed a candidate yet, but he made an appearance at the fundraiser to try and ensure whoever gets the nomination is financially set to beat the Republicans. During the talk, given a day after he gave the keynote speech at South by Southwest in Austin, Texas, Obama rubbed elbows with Texas Democrats and even tried on a cowboy hat. But it was when he took the stage at Gilley's Club, where the Democratic National Committee...
  • Obama Bans Wealthy From Hoarding Gold

    01/15/2016 8:14:23 AM PST · by Lazamataz · 65 replies
    SkinnyReporter ^ | by Justin Thyme
    WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Barack Obama today banned private ownership of more than a quarter ounce of gold, saying the move was necessary to revive the economy. "Wealthy Americans are bailing out on the economy by taking their money out of circulation and hoarding gold," Obama said as he signed an executive order reminiscent of Depression-era President Franklin D. Roosevelt's ban on the possession of gold. "The wealthy are violating their trust and abusing their position by investing in gold," Obama said. "My order will put an immediate end to this practice, which threatens to hijack the good efforts of...
  • Controversial South Park episode shows Donald Trump being raped and murdered ...

    09/24/2015 5:30:11 AM PDT · by Zakeet · 114 replies
    (UK) Daily Mail ^ | September 24, 2015 | Chris Pleasance
    Complete Headline: Controversial South Park episode shows Donald Trump being raped and murdered: Show attacks tycoon's run for President, his immigration policies and then kills him off in shocking final scene Donald Trump was on the receiving end of a vicious take-down by South Park on Wednesday evening, which skirted the borders of decency and taste and arguably crossed them. In an almost unprecedented attack on a running presidential candidate, the adult cartoon lampooned the Republican and in a shocking finale, showed the billionaire businessman being brutally raped to death. The inflammatory episode of the satirical cartoon, created by...
  • Trump on Fiorina's face: I made those comments as an entertainer

    09/11/2015 9:30:23 AM PDT · by SeekAndFind · 111 replies
    Politico ^ | 09/11/2015 | By ELIZA COLLINS
    Donald Trump didn’t mean any harm when he criticized fellow GOP 2016 presidential candidate Carly Fiorina’s face. He says he was just being the showman he is. “Many of those comments are made as an entertainer because I did The Apprentice and it was one of the top shows on television,” he told Greta Van Susteren on Thursday night. “Some comments are made as an entertainer and as everybody said, as an entertainer is a much different ball game.” Trump who is leading in Republican polls has said comments that would have buried many other candidates. A Rolling Stone story...
  • After Losing to Jay Leno, David Letterman’s Bitterness Cost Him His Indiana Soul

    05/22/2015 2:44:51 AM PDT · by iowamark · 49 replies
    Breitbart News ^ | 20 May 2015 | John Nolte
    Johnny Carson’s retirement truly was the end of an era. Jay Leno’s retirement felt like the end of an era. David Letterman’s retirement feels like the end of an argument that probably mattered once upon a time but now drags ceaselessly on due only to the bitter loser’s unwillingness to let go. It is not hard to trace the long, sad, bitter fall of David Letterman. In early 1992, Letterman lost “The Tonight Show” to Jay Leno. Letterman believed Johnny’s chair was rightfully his (it was), that he was Carson’s heir apparent (he was), and that he had more to...
  • At bout with Holyfield, Romney saved best jabs for Hillary Clinton, Harry Reid and Candy Crowley

    05/16/2015 2:04:05 PM PDT · by Slings and Arrows · 91 replies
    Twitchy ^ | May 16, 2015
    Mitt Romney and Evander Holyfield had a charity boxing match last night:-snip- Holyfield was declared the victor, but perhaps only because Romney saved his best jabs for Hillary Clinton, Harry Reid and Candy Crowley.-snip-Mitt Romney with the joke about wanting his fight against @holyfield to be "as clean as Hillary Clinton's server"-snip-Romney after Holyfield fight: "I'm ready to take on Harry Reid's exercise equipment now.-snip-Romney, with some bite post-fight: "I'm happy to fight anybody so long as Candy Crowley isn't the referee."-snip- Mitt Romney, winner by TKO.
  • Isis Takes Credit for Quakes In Nepal and Japan!!

    05/12/2015 5:21:52 PM PDT · by MeshugeMikey · 8 replies
    self ^ | May 12. 2015 | MeshugeMikey
    having failed to produce any of yesterdays forecast frightening cyber attacks...isis has unveiled another ploy
  • Giant Methane Storms On Uranus

    03/10/2015 7:27:55 PM PDT · by Jack Hydrazine · 115 replies ^ | 10MAR2015 | Helen Maynard-Casely
    Most of the times we have looked at Uranus, it has seemed to be a relatively calm place. Well, yes its atmosphere is the coldest place in the solar system. But, when we picture the seventh planet in our solar system invariably the image of a calming blue hazy disc that the spacecraft Voyager 2 took in 1986 comes to mind. Uranus as seen by NASA’s Voyager 2 NASA/JPL-Caltech However, all we have previously known about the atmosphere of Uranus has been ’thrown to the wind’ with observations made last year. In August 2014 a group led by Imke de...
  • How To Not Get Shot To Death By A Police Officer (Don't Be Black)

    02/04/2015 2:35:02 PM PST · by Responsibility2nd · 42 replies
    Dead Spin ^ | 02/04/2015 | Greg Howard
    If you're reading this, congrats! You're definitely alive, and you're probably not being stopped or shot to death by a police officer at this very moment. This is half the battle. Now the hard part: If you're alive, there's a chance you'll get stopped by a police officer before you die, and if you're stopped, there's a chance you will get shot to death. Here are some steps you can take to avoid getting stopped, and failing that, avoid getting shot to death.1. Don't Be Black They say this works! The best way to not get shot to death by...
  • 'Flamboyant Republican conservative' who Lena Dunham claims raped her in college doesnt exist

    12/04/2014 1:38:02 PM PST · by vis a vis · 101 replies
    Mail on Line ^ | 4 December 2014 | Joel Christie
    A media investigation into the allegations of rape featured in Lena Dunham's recently-released memoir has refuted the claims of sexual assault made by the Girls creator. The writer, actor and director dedicates a chapter of her book, Not That Kind Of Girl - for which she received a reported $3.7 million advance - to a boy she met at Oberlin College in Ohio identified as 'Barry', who she alleges raped her one night after a party.
  • Ebola Memes. (Its Friday, we can laugh can't we.)

    10/03/2014 8:47:00 AM PDT · by Vermont Lt · 7 replies
    Roll Call ^ | 10/1/2014 | Warren Rojas
    I know Ebola is serious. But, what the hell, lets have a chuckle. **** Warning **** Contains a slam at Sarah. I think the other ones are 'funny' and outweigh the slap at her. Hate Rojas and Roll Call. Not me. You have been warned.
  • Father of 'devastated' model singled out by virgin killer -barely remembers him'

    05/26/2014 12:17:20 PM PDT · by equalator · 112 replies
    Mail Online UK ^ | 5-26-2014 | Will Payne
    The model branded an 'evil b****' by virgin killer Elliot Rodger and blamed for his hatred of women is 'absolutely devastated' that she has been linked to the massacre, her father revealed today. Stunning blonde Monette Moio 'teased and ridiculed' Rodger after they met at school, sparking his vendetta against female kind, he claimed in his rambling 141-page manifesto. Enacting his 'revenge', he stabbed three friends to death at his home before shooting dead two sorority sisters and another male student in Santa Barbara on Friday. But now Monette's father, Hollywood stuntman John Moio, has defended his daughter, saying it...
  • Creepy Killer Clown Attacks in New Internet Prank (Video)

    05/16/2014 11:23:30 AM PDT · by MNDude · 30 replies
    I'm too lazy to post the source ^ | I'm too lazy to post the date | I'm too lazy to post the author
    So, I think it is safe to say that if you are deathly afraid of clowns, like a few people I know, this is certainly not going to help things in any way, shape, or form. There is a new video making its way around the internet the shows a creepy killer clown making his way around the city brutally “murdering” people in front of seemingly innocent bystanders. In the video, the clown, complete with circus-like oversized mallet and everything, is hiding behind a wall in a parking garage. When two men come walking down the stairs, they see what...
  • A FOURTH student comes forward with allegations Math teacher, 24, had sex with him [Short title]

    04/08/2014 9:43:18 AM PDT · by QT3.14 · 51 replies
    Daily Mail (UK) ^ | April 4, 2014 | Associated Press and Daily Mail Reporter
    A fourth high school student has come forward claiming 24-year-old former math teacher Meredith Powell sexually abused him during her time at Washington's Lincoln High School. Powell was arrested in February and then confessed to performing sex acts with multiple students, one as young as 15 years old, inside her locked classroom, as well as sending them sexualized pictures of herself. She previously faced two counts of child rape and one count of communication with a minor for immoral purposes.
  • I, Gamecock, completed RICO and will become Catholic next week.

    04/01/2014 5:34:45 AM PDT · by Gamecock · 38 replies
    1 April 2014 | Gamecock
    I... After careful prayer and... Sorry. Even though it is April Fools Day I just can't pull this off.
  • Peace deal reached before haredi protest (Kerry vs. Israel)

    03/02/2014 5:00:44 PM PST · by Olog-hai · 2 replies
    Times of Israel ^ | March 2, 2014 10:31 AM | Benji Lovitt
    In an unexpected turn of events just hours before the massive haredi demonstration to protest the “draft bill”, a peace deal with the Palestinians was reached when Israeli negotiators offered the neighborhoods of Mea Shearim, Sanhedria and Geula as the future Palestinian capital. In a formal statement from the American State Department, Secretary John Kerry said, “Everyone said a deal couldn’t be reached but I knew they were wrong. In fact, the Israelis couldn’t make this concession quickly enough. It was almost as if they were asking the other side to take the land.” …
  • Confession: I oppose Obama because he's Black

    12/04/2013 7:49:59 AM PST · by mhutcheson · 48 replies ^ | Dec. 3, 2013 | Michael Hutcheson
    Robert Redford and Oprah Winfrey recently became the latest in a long line of celebrities, Democrats and others who have publicly stated that those of us who oppose Obama’s policies do so only because he is black. I have ignored or denied this charge for five years. After careful self-reflection and honest soul searching, however, I now wish to confess and admit the truth: the reason, and the only reason, I oppose Obama’s policies is because he is black.
  • White House spokesman jokes about Islamic attacks on Christian churches in Egypt

    08/22/2013 7:01:36 AM PDT · by Morgana · 23 replies
    daily caller ^ | Neil Munro
    The White House’s deputy press secretary today downplayed Muslim attacks on Christians in Egypt, joking about the savagery that has left at least six Christians dead. Press secretary Josh Earnest was asked by Fox News’ correspondent, Ed Henry, if President Barack Obama has a “red line” beyond which he would act against Muslim attacks on Egyptian Christians. “Well, I didn’t bring my red pen out with me today,” Earnest joked. fter making his joke, Earnest said the administration is “outraged… and concerned” about the Muslim attacks on almost 100 churches, monasteries, orphanages and other marked Christian sites. Many Christians’ shops...
  • BREAKING: RG III announces Redskins will NOT play tonite until Congress reaches an agreement

    12/30/2012 1:44:53 PM PST · by ken5050 · 43 replies
    one man's opinion...
    In a stunning development just moments ago, that left reporters in the room absolutely speechless, Redskins QB Robert Griffin III held a sudden press conference and announced that the entire Redskins teams had voted unanimously to NOT play tonight's game against the Dallas Cowboys until Congress reaches a deal to solve the fiscal problem.
  • Jamie Foxx Defends Calling Barack Obama 'Lord and Savior'

    12/07/2012 12:42:14 PM PST · by SeekAndFind · 26 replies
    Christian Post ^ | 12/07/2012 | Christine Thomasos
    Jamie Foxx caused some controversy when he referred to President Barack Obama as "our lord and savior" at the 2012 Soul Train Awards, but the Academy Award-winning actor is defending his actions. Foxx, 44, drew criticism from the likes of Bill Donohue, President of the Catholic League for Religious and Civil Rights, and Pastor Rick Warren of Saddleback Church in California. Donohue has been vocal about protesting Obama's policies like the HHS Mandate and released a statement calling Foxx's remarks "startling." "It just goes to show that even though Obama did not succeed in stopping the oceans from rising (as...
  • Miller Lite

    02/16/2012 3:28:22 PM PST · by NKP_Vet · 22 replies
    There is a hidden message here that women cannot understand, some men may, and all street cops will. A woman goes to the doctor all black and blue. Doctor: "What happened?" Woman: "Doctor, I don't know what to do. Every time my husband comes home drunk on Miller Lite he beats me to a pulp." Doctor: "I have a real good remedy for that. When your husband comes home drunk on Miller Lite, just take a glass of sweet tea and start swishing it in your mouth but don't swallow. Just keep swishing and swishing until he goes to bed...
  • Principal apologizes after shocking video shows blindfolded students making out with their PARENTS

    12/16/2011 10:32:44 AM PST · by Charlespg · 104 replies
    Mail Online ^ | 16th December 2011 | Jennifer Madison
    They were told to expect a kiss from a 'special someone'. But the joke was on teenagers at Rosemount High School when the mystery lip locks they suspected came from their classmates... were actually from their parents. Now that footage of the cringe-worthy pep rally prank has gone viral, John Wollersheim says as the school principal he owes an apology to everyone who was offended by the incestual display.
  • TSA Patdowns At Santa Fe Prom (Via Drudge)

    05/23/2011 4:43:50 AM PDT · by DaveTesla · 38 replies
    KOAT 7 Santa Fe NM ^ | May 21, 2011 | KOAT 7
    TSA Patdowns At Santa Fe Prom Video at link.
  • This is how you properly respond to a debt collector...

    02/15/2011 8:00:57 AM PST · by big black dog · 18 replies
  • Why We Don't Have To Worry Too Much About Russian Aircraft Carrier Opns, or "Oooops, Comarade"

    02/04/2011 3:49:01 PM PST · by MindBender26 · 21 replies
    Memo to Sov Navy pilots.... ALWAYS go to to full burner as you cross the fantail! Watch the video. :)
  • Jon Stewart: America’s Leading Journalist?

    01/12/2011 6:14:22 AM PST · by IbJensen · 11 replies
    New American ^ | January 11, 2011 | Thomas R Eddlem
    The question sounds like a joke, made up by one of the talented writers for Comedy Central’s Daily Show itself: Is the Daily Show’s Jon Stewart the journalistic reincarnation of Edward R. Murrow? But this was the serious question posed by New York Times writers Bill Carter and Brian Stelter on December 27, after Stewart rallied the media toward granting federal healthcare funding for September 11 first responders. Carter and Stelter ask: “And does that make that comedian, Jon Stewart — despite all his protestations that what he does has nothing to do with journalism — the modern-day equivalent of...
  • The MaggieCarta PDS Dictionary (The OTHER Word of the Day)

    12/07/2010 9:11:13 PM PST · by MaggieCarta · 63 replies
    Various | 12/7/10 | You Know Who
    Maybe you know her as the “PDS” Princess, the splenetic sister of snark, a loyal correspondent or perhaps a really fun time waster. Whatever you call her, DeMille can forget getting his close-up, because the FReeper known as MaggieCarta is ready for her zot, Mr. Robinson… Ok, before I begin the Dictionary, I'd like to say, I've really enjoyed my time here on FR. Best wishes, and a Merry Christmas and a Happy 2011 to all. The dictionary begins below...
  • False Alarm, Evacuation at Capitol; Senator Arrested [SATIRE]

    08/12/2010 10:05:56 AM PDT · by Pan_Yan · 24 replies
    My Twisted Little Brain | August 12, 2010 | Pan_Yan
    Washington- The Capitol was briefly evacuated this morning when a fire alarm pull station was activated on the senate floor after an argument amongst the South Carolina delegation. Senator Lindsey Graham (REPUBLICAN) was later arrested by Capitol Police in a bed room at John McCain's (REPUBLICAN) nearby town home and charged with the false alarm. Unnamed sources present on the floor at the time say Senators Graham (REPUBLICAN) and Jim DeMint (REPUBLICAN) were having a heated discussion over Graham's recent vote in favor of Elaine Kagan’s successful nomination to the United States Supreme Court, as well as his general squishiness....

    07/31/2010 2:04:26 AM PDT · by tlb · 21 replies · 4+ views
    Weekly World News ^ | July 30th, 2010 | July 30th, 2010
    Rhinebeck, NY - Bill Clinton threw a wild bachelor party last night for his future son-in-law, Marc Mezvinsky. Chelsea Clinton wasn’t happy. Bill Clinton insisted on throwing a bachelor party for his future son-in-law, over the strong objections of his beautiful daughter, Chelsea. But when Bill wants something, Bill gets it. And what he wanted was… girls, girls, girls! The former President brought in seventy-five strippers, pole dancers, and contortionists to the “whipped-cream” themed party held for Marc Mezvinsky at the Veranda House in Rhinebeck. Marc was reluctant, but Bill told him, “You’re a Clinton now son, so you have...
  • Homeowner to Be Prosecuted for Shooting at Thieves (Satire)

    07/11/2010 11:43:41 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 31 replies · 3+ views
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire | 11 July 2010 | John Semmens
    Wheat Ridge, Colorado homeowner, 82-year-old Robert Wallace, has been charged with attempted first degree murder for firing shots at two men who stole his trailer. The thieves—Damacio Torres and Alvara Cardano—have prior arrest records and are suspected of being in the country illegally. Jefferson County District Attorney, Scott Storey called the shooting completely unjustified. “First of all, at best, Wallace was confronting persons engaged in a property crime. The appropriate response is to let the property be taken. If it can later be located and he can prove it is rightfully his he may get it back. As it turned...
  • Warning from the Center of Disease Control (about elections)

    05/19/2010 6:47:01 AM PDT · by demkicker · 2 replies · 237+ views
    Email | unknown | unknown
    Information about Gonorrhea Lectim The Center for Disease Control has issued a warning about a new virulent strain of this old disease. The disease is called Gonorrhea Lectim. It's pronounced "Gonna re-elect 'em," and it is a terrible obamanation. The disease is contracted through dangerous and high risk behavior involving putting your cranium up your rectum. Many victims contracted it in 2008...but now most people, after having been infected for the past 1-2 years, are starting to realize how destructive this sickness is. It's sad because Gonorrhea Lectim is easily cured with a new drug just coming on the market...
  • Time to Throw Nuke Arizona, or Just Throw Them Out of the Union?

    05/12/2010 3:20:11 PM PDT · by Texas Peartree · 28 replies · 1,131+ views
    The Voice of Reason ^ | May 12, 2010 | Texas Peartree
    Since Arizona recently passed a law allowing state government officials to inquire about the immigration status of people during a lawful stop, the following has happened (or will soon happen); 1) President Obama has stated he will have his Justice Department look into whether this Arizona law (which closely tracks our unenforced federal laws) violates the Civil Rights of people in Arizona. 2) The City of Los Angeles (which, as I understand it, is flat broke) has cancelled $7 million worth of contracts with the state of Arizona. 3) Their sole NBA team, the Phoenix Suns, has shown solidarity with...
  • Obama’s National Security Advisor Tells Joke Depicting Jews as Greedy Merchants

    04/26/2010 12:10:58 AM PDT · by counterpunch · 212 replies · 7,031+ views ^ | April 25, 2010 at 11:32 pm | C-SPAN3/Yid With Lid
    Yid With Lid: He was giving the key note speech at a Washington Institute For Near East Policy and started it out with a "joke" that borders on anti-Semitic, teaching the crowd that Jews are just greedy merchants in the same vein as Shakespeare's Shylock... Editor's note: For Yid With Lid's full post on "The Joke" see the related link below. "• Yid With Lid: Jews are greedy merchants YouTube video 
  • RNC Slaps Jews Across The Face, After They Got Tired of Whipping [Satire]

    As I celebrate the freeing of my people from bondage, praying for the day when all people can be free (and adding the traditional 'next year in Jerusalem'), it was hard to ignore the intentional slap in the face by the RNC. The RNC reimbursed a donor for the few thousand they spent at a 'Bondage themed night club'. Coincidence; I think not. The donor may have repaid the expense, but the slap is still there.
  • Obama Surrenders To Yemen

    01/04/2010 4:58:24 PM PST · by writer33 · 28 replies · 862+ views
    Elective Decisions ^ | 01/04/2010 | Chris Davis
    Washington—Rather than hunt down the suspected terrorists and reopen the U.S. Embassy in Yemen, President Barack Obama has decided to surrender and withdraw all American interests. The surrender came at the end of unilateral talks with Al Qaeda and the Yemeni government. All agreed that “it would in the best interest for the United States to surrender and withdraw from Yemen entirely.” The surrender also included giving Florida to Yemen, and four locations of their choosing to set up Al Qaeda terrorist training camps, noting “that it will be easier to spot terrorists at home than sending the Central Intelligence...
  • Wanda Sykes: Obama is Fancy giftwrapped pack of underwear

    12/05/2009 8:09:57 PM PST · by Mr. K · 46 replies · 2,267+ views
    me ^ | 12/5/2009 | sefl
    Wanda Sykes- liberal lesbian black woman comedian, called Barack Obama a fancy christmas package you are all excited to get, but then you open it up and it turns out to be a 3 pack of underwear Then she went on a 5 minute monologue about "Is this it?" and "We had high hopes" and even "if this is the best he can do he is REALLY going to screw up for the next black president.. It was actually funny
  • FREE REPUBLIC EXCLUSIVE: The Hadley CRU emails are FAKE! [Satire]

    11/24/2009 7:38:25 PM PST · by grey_whiskers · 53 replies · 2,350+ views
    grey_whiskers ^ | 11-24-2009 | grey_whiskers
    STOP THE PRESSES! After doing a search on a number of links to the controversial emails which have been leaked or hacked from the Hadley Climate Research Center, it has been discovered that they are most likely FAKE. An examination of the emails in detail shows that they used proportional fonts, which were not available at the time of George Bush's stint in the Texas Air National Guard. "He played on our FEARS!" thundered a visibly upset Al Gore, screaming from a prepared statement. "He BETRAYED THIS COUNTRY!" Mary Mapes was unavailable for comment.
  • Are you watching "Breaking News" in the sidebar? Go Mods!

    10/09/2009 9:42:21 AM PDT · by greyfoxx39 · 65 replies · 2,202+ views
    Breaking News (News/Activism) FLASH: Barack Obama wins Top Chef Las Vegas, awarded FOUR Michelin Stars (out of 3) BREAKING:Obama wins the Cy Young Award Breaking: NHL cancels season, awards Stanley Cup to Barack Obama (And other news) BREAKING: Obama wins "Survivor" reality show! BREAKING! obama wins "American Idol" BREAKING: Obama Wins All Events at 2012 Olympics! Obama Named Miss Hooters 2010 Barack Obama inducted into Rock and Roll Hall of Fame!!! Barack Obama becomes New Santa Clause BREAKING: OBAMA WINS THE AMAZING RACE!!! Barack Obama Wins Indianapolis 500! BREAKING: Obama Wins Dancing with the Stars Trophy - Rest of Season...
  • Leaked text of Obama speech to schoolchildren shows parents right to worry

    09/04/2009 1:30:52 PM PDT · by RDangerfield · 18 replies · 1,665+ views
    Lewis Grossberger ^ | Sept. 4, 2009 | Lewis Grossberger
    Hi, kids. My name is Barack Obama and I'm the President of the United States. I'm sure you all know what that means. It means you have to do whatever I tell you because if you don't, I can take away your mommy and daddy and you'll never see them again. So listen real carefully, OK? I know a lot of you haven't been paying much attention to the argument we grown-ups are having about health-care reform. That's all right. It's really complicated stuff. Most of your parents have no idea what it's all about either. All you really need...
  • FReep this poll: what kind of senator will Al Franken be?

    07/07/2009 9:33:42 AM PDT · by rhema · 58 replies · 1,847+ views
    FReep this poll: what kind of senator will Al Franken be?
  • Obama Administration To Outlaw Dirty Brown Food Technologies

    04/18/2009 4:42:34 PM PDT · by catnipman · 40 replies · 2,764+ views
    Cat Nipman ^ | 08/18/09 | Cat Nipman
    ***NEWS FLASH ***Washington (AP) In a surprise move today, the Obama Administration announced newly proposed rules that prohibit food from being grown in dirt because of the danger of salmonella contamination.Although alternative technologies don’t yet exist to replace dirt, and hundreds of millions people in the United States are likely to perish from starvation in the next few years, the Obama Administration said that a few people died last year from food contaminated with salmonella and that drastic action was therefore necessary to protect the American public from unsafe food. White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs added that the...
  • Drug Agents Raid SF Medical Marijuana Clinic (Haha, DEA thumbs Zero in the eye)

    03/25/2009 11:26:54 PM PDT · by LibWhacker · 51 replies · 1,460+ views
    CBS5 ^ | 3/25/09 | Joe Vazquez
    One week after President Barack Obama's top law enforcement official seemed to indicate the feds would no longer raid pot clubs, DEA agents busted a medical marijuana facility in San Francisco Wednesday night. As agents carried large plastic containers of marijuana plants out of Emmalyn's California Cannabis Clinic at 1597 Howard Street, a small crowd of protesters formed a gauntlet outside the door, booing the agents and chanting, "our medicine is marijuana … listen to Obama!" DEA spokeswoman Casey McEnry told CBS 5 the documents regarding the raid are sealed, so the DEA was not able to give any details....
  • President Chucklehead

    03/24/2009 4:37:39 AM PDT · by Kaslin · 55 replies · 2,113+ views ^ | March 24, 2009 | Lorie Byrd
    Last year during the presidential campaign, some comedians explained the reason there were so many more jokes being made on television about John McCain than Barack Obama was because nothing about Obama was funny.  The One was a bit too perfect and free of flaws to provide much fodder for joke writers.  Never mind that he had said there were 57 states.  Or that he frequently stammered through sections of speeches when his teleprompter malfunctioned.  Or any of the other mistakes he made.  Most of them received little media coverage and even less ridicule from comics.The New York Times even...
  • China to be granted 4 Senate Seats and 8 Congressional Seats in Return for Buying More U.S. Debt

    03/23/2009 11:00:33 AM PDT · by Scythian · 30 replies · 1,163+ views
    In a desperate behind the scenes closed door session the United States has granted China 4 Senate Seats and 8 Congressional Seats in return for China's buying yet another substantial amount of U.S. Debt. China, at this point, technically owns the deed to the United States and felt that it should have some say in what it's rentors are doing with it's property. More as information is reported. (Humor folks - as in Ha Ha, that was funny)
  • President George W. Bush Says "Let Them Eat Cake"

    03/19/2009 9:29:12 AM PDT · by big black dog · 63 replies · 2,416+ views
    In an amazing act of unconscionable hubris, in the midst of an economic crisis, President George W. Bush has decided to appear on the Tonight Show. That's right, the Tonight Show. Does he think he's Justin Timberlake? This is a callous waste of resources during a tough economic time. Millions of dollars will need to be spent to transport motorcades across the country, and establish security and accommodations for his entourage in this self indulgent display. Furthermore, our emperor has decided to declare himself tout in chief by blessing his unworthy subjects to his March Madness picks. As if we...
  • Sarah Palin Linked to Weapons Theft [It's SATIRE, folks!]

    12/28/2008 7:18:57 PM PST · by Oztrich Boy · 35 replies · 1,244+ views
    The Jawa Report ^ | December 28, 2008 | Mike Pechar
    Breaking News! (Wasilla, Alaska) Republican Gov. Sarah Palin is being named as a possible conspirator in a weapons theft case reportedly occurring several years ago....
  • Republicans surrender! From Baghdad Bob

    11/20/2008 9:54:25 AM PST · by Osama Obama · 6 replies · 505+ views
    The Wit Hits the Fan ^ | 11/20/08 | Baghdad Bob
    Let me place today needful comment upon the pitiful, washed-up members of the hateful Republican Party. Surrender. You have no hope. You are destined to become a mere useless fixture in history who’s time has come and has gone – much as the Whig Party or underarm deodorant.