Keyword: notfunny

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  • Bush Among Stingrays (Left-wing cartoonist goes WAY too far)

    09/10/2006 7:04:25 PM PDT · by DaveLoneRanger · 58 replies · 3,395+ views
    Lexington Herald-Leader ^ | September 6, 2006 | Joel Pett
    The following cartoon appeared in the Lexington Herald-Leader on September 6. Joel Pett is a left-wing cartoonist whose cartoons frequently skirt the edge of offensive. Now, Joel has chosen to capitalize on the death of Steve Irwin to make yet another attack on Bush. If this makes you angry and you would like to contact the editorial board or Mr. Pett himself, here's some contact information. I do not advocate profanity, abuse, or anything that is or may be perceived as illegal. But Mr. Pett and the Herald-Leader deserve to hear from the numbers of us who are outraged about...
  • Gay Apostles

    07/07/2006 11:42:35 AM PDT · by bruin66 · 4 replies · 515+ views
    unk | unk
    Ten Things That Would Be Different If The 12 Apostles Had Been Gay 10. The Last Supper would have been brunch. 09. The Beatitudes would start, "Fabulous are they....." 08. Jesus' triumphant entry into Jerusalem screams for a production number with lots of ostrich feather palm fronds and a large oyster shell, instead of just a donkey and some palm leaves. 07. The water at the wedding feast of Canaan would not have been changed to wine, but to extra dry Bombay Sapphire martinis with a touch of Curacao for color. 06. The temple would not only have been cleansed...
  • Crack Found In Space Shuttle Fuel Line Assembly - 11 December 2002

    Crack Found In Space Shuttle Fuel Line Assembly By BRIAN BERGER Space News Staff Writer posted: 05:13 pm ET 11 December 2002 WASHINGTON NASA is forming a team to analyze a crack found in part of the Space Shuttle Discoverys propulsion system during a routine maintenance inspection at Kennedy Space Center, Fla.
  • Radio show apologizes for "sex assault" poll

    06/06/2006 8:36:35 AM PDT · by presidio9 · 5 replies · 489+ views
    Reuters ^ | 666
    Hosts of a chat show on a Hong Kong radio station apologized Tuesday for an Internet survey asking its listeners to vote which actress they would most like to sexually assault. The Commercial Radio poll drew widespread criticism last week, with teachers, legislators and ordinary citizens slamming it for advocating violence against women and for corrupting youth. "The program hosts and co-workers publicly apologize for any offence that the Internet poll 'Which female artiste would you most like to sexually assault' caused to female artistes and everyone in Hong Kong," a message posted on the radio Web site said. The...
  • (Vanity) Political Limerick 05-12-2006

    05/11/2006 9:55:16 PM PDT · by grey_whiskers · 2 replies · 254+ views
    grey_whiskers ^ | 05-11-2006 | grey_whiskers
    See for example this thread first. The latest gaffe from Howard Dean about gays puts him squarely between the Christians, who say "You can't marry, you're gay!" and the folks who say "God save the QUEEN!"
  • This is just a drill: Thanks to John McCain, Free Republic will shut down tomorrow at high noon for

    03/23/2006 8:03:45 PM PST · by Jim Robinson · 1,256 replies · 40,000+ views
    <p>Thanks to John McCain, Free Republic will shut down tomorrow at high noon for 30 days. No non government approved electioneering messages may be transmitted over the internet for the 30 days immediately preceding a primary election.</p> <p>That is all.</p>
  • British Drug Trial Makes Testees Horribly Sick

    03/16/2006 8:33:22 AM PST · by Lion in Winter · 14 replies · 492+ views
    Fox News | Thursday, March 16, 2006 | Staff
    <p>LONDON — Six men who became ill during a drug trial remained in serious condition in a London hospital Thursday.</p> <p>Two of the men were listed in critical condition, Northwick Park Hospital said in a statement.</p> <p>Raste Khan — one of two men given a placebo in the trial — said the six had been stricken within a few minutes of receiving the drug.</p>
  • (IMDB) If Republicans Ran Hollywood, Recent Movies would look like this....

    02/28/2006 9:59:40 AM PST · by lowbridge · 12 replies · 699+ views
    IMDB message boards (Film General) ^ | Feb 28 2006 | Alpha_Kenny_Woun
    If Republicans Ran Hollywood, Recent Movies would look like this ...... by - Alpha_Kenny_Woun 17 minutes ago (Tue Feb 28 2006 09:35:13 ) Ignore this User | Report Abuse -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Brokeback Mountain: A cowboy and cowgirl fall in love in the west while defending the borders from illegal Mexican immigrants, most of whom happen to be homosexuals for some reason. Jarhead: A soldier goes into the Marine Corpse, during which he learns the meaning of the words, honor, courage, and integrity. He goes to Iraq and is assigned to defend an outpost with a squad of 8 battle hardened vets....
  • Cheney "Inadvertently" Caused Death of Man He Stabbed On Previous Hunting Trip, Says White House

    03/01/2006 1:58:01 PM PST · by rface · 89 replies · 4,020+ views
    Tomburka ^ | February 13, 2006 | Tom Burka
    .....Eyewitnesses: Man Ran Into Cheney's Knife..... Vice President Cheney accidentally killed a man during a previous hunting trip, the White House reluctantly confirmed today after denying the incident several times. During a deer hunting expedition on a friend's eight billion dollar ranch, a man "ran into Cheney's knife" several times while Cheney was gutting and dressing a deer, wealthy Republican Party donors and eyewitnesses said. The man who died was Willford Buchs, a Bush family accountant who "took care of the books" for the Bushes and several Bush companies, and was later appointed Director of the Texas Accounting Commission after...
  • Non-Prophet Cartoons: Islam vs. The West

    02/20/2006 5:12:33 AM PST · by FerdieMurphy · 6 replies · 641+ views
    Sierra Times ^ | 2/20/2006 | Doug Krieger
    The West — specifically, the European West — stands aghast at Islam’s violent reaction to its comedic caricature of the Prophet and ponders: Shall we who enshrine our sacred rights to human expression suffer these cultural indignities and blatant intimidations designed to ultimately extinguish “our rights?” This is outrageous and morally repugnant to cower before a medieval culture that treats women, religious minorities and all things “civilized” with intolerance. Alas! Let us speak out in vehement solidarity against this “Scourge of Green” which seeks to smother some 500-years of Enlightenment! Reaction to the West’s Renaissance, Reformation, Enlightenment, and social revolutions...
  • Abortion (vanity)

    02/04/2006 12:45:38 PM PST · by Dr. Marten · 18 replies · 518+ views

    01/31/2006 7:14:52 PM PST · by Rodney King · 7 replies · 523+ views
    WWN ^ | today | Ed Anger
    BY ED ANGER Dear Pope Benedict XVI, Right off the bat, let me congratulate you on getting yourself elected pope and tell you how glad I am you won. Mainly 'cause I had 50 bucks riding on you! My good buddy George Sanford, one of our finest African-American reporters, somehow got it in his head that the cardinals were fixing to elect that Nigerian fella. To which I said: "Yeah, right." Turns out yours truly was right once again. I know a lot of liberals have been chewing your ear off with cockamamie suggestions, like giving the green light to...
  • Dave Letterman: 'Why,' you ask?

    01/08/2006 4:16:56 PM PST · by Aussie Dasher · 77 replies · 3,359+ views
    WorldNetDaily ^ | 9 January 2006 | Pat Boone
    I love Dave Letterman. He's my idea of the funniest man in America. I appreciate his intellect, his quirky, irritated ideas about what's funny, and certainly respect his right to whatever opinions he has about anything. I confess he irks me with his nightly ridicule and denigration of our president. He's really got it in for George Bush, and he and the staff select little snippets of speeches, or a stumble, or a door that doesn't open, or even just a little aside and shoulder-shaking chuckle – anything that makes the president appear foolish – and revel in derisive laughter....
  • DFU SONG: Annie's Song (Happy Birthday to Ann Coulter)

    12/08/2005 7:21:39 AM PST · by doug from upland · 30 replies · 896+ views
    DFU SONGS | 12-8-05 | Lyrics, Doug from Upland
    MIDI - ANNIE'S SONG She fills up the airwaves...with her sage right wing comments She has driven the leftists out of their foolish minds If she's not dodging pies thrown...she's enduring her critics Perky Katie Couric, she kicked your behind They match three a battle with Annie Some say that is unfair...well, I guess I would agree At the end of the segment, they are bloodied and crying Hey, liberal airheads, you need more than three The favorite of FReepers...well aware of the warning If they don't post her picture, angry comments they'll hear For your voice we...
  • DFU SONG: I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas (for the Dems, the white is a flag)

    12/08/2005 4:41:23 PM PST · by doug from upland · 8 replies · 581+ views
    DFU 2005 CHRISTMAS SONGS | 12-2005 | Lyrics, Doug from Upland
    MIDI - WHITE CHRISTMAS They're dreaming of a white Christmas The white is their flag in the air We can hear Howard blabbing...with big time back stabbing For our troop morale he doesn't care They're dreaming of a white Christmas John Kerry's nice white French beret We cannot ever trust them, you see Not with our national security (musical break - some nice Barney Frank twinkle toe music) They're dreaming of a white Christmas Some nice white wine while they retreat While our men are out home they're inciting Pelosi is hoping for defeat They're dreaming of a...
  • DFU SONG: Christmas 2005 - I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus (Jesse Jackson outside Tookie's house)

    12/12/2005 11:58:31 PM PST · by doug from upland · 7 replies · 390+ views
    DFU CHRISTMAS 2005 SONGS | 12-2005 | Lyrics, Doug from Upland
    MIDI - I SAW MOMMY KISSING SANTA CLAUS I saw Jesse Jackson, camera whore...just outside the walls of Tookie's house He showed his pearly was really quite a sight For lowlife Tookie Williams he was putting up a fight Oh, I saw Jesse Jackson, camera whore...that race-baiter is a piece of work We wondered, was his mistress you really think he'd dare Jesse Jackson's such a phony jerk I saw Jesse Jackson, camera whore...he was asked to give the victims' names He's taken by surprise...he could not believe his eyes The only answer heard was that he...
  • Theme Song for Dubya Bush

    12/07/2005 9:04:27 AM PST · by Koo Koo for KoKo Puffs · 52 replies · 900+ views
    When Islamists in this world appear And take the lives that we hold dear And frighten all who see or hear The cry goes up both far and near For Dubya Bush! Dubya Bush! Dubya Bush! Dubya Bush! Speed of lightning, roar of thunder Fighting all who kill or plunder Dubya Bush. Dubya Bush! When in this world the headlines read Of Islamist who make men bleed Who rob and steal to do this deed To right this wrong with blinding speed Goes Dubya Bush! Dubya Bush! Dubya Bush! Dubya Bush! Speed of lightning, roar of thunder Fighting all who...

    12/02/2005 6:06:11 AM PST · by GWB00 · 46 replies · 8,670+ views
    The Corner ^ | 12/02/2005 | Jonah Goldberg
    COOL FACTS ABOUT DICK CHENEY [Jonah Goldberg ] At Ace of Spades. Note: Much R-Ratedness and salty humor.
  • 'Wife Swap' Contestant Sues Over Gay "Wife"

    11/23/2005 6:06:52 AM PST · by paudio · 44 replies · 3,456+ views ^ | 22 November 2005
    A contestant on ABC's Wife Swap is suing the Walt Disney Company and the show's producer, RDF Media, for $10,225,000 after the person involved in the swap turned out to be a gay man. Jeffrey D. Bedford of Haileyville, OK told the Muskogee Phoenix that he could not comment on the case but provided a copy of his lawsuit in which he claims that the producers told him that if he did not proceed with the filming, they would not tell him his wife's whereabouts and would not pay for her return home; that the gay man invited members of...
  • Everybody Hates saddam

    11/15/2005 10:21:16 PM PST · by eastforker · 10 replies · 792+ views
    atomfilms. ^ | unknown | atomfilms
    everybody hates Saddam
  • ACLU and al Qaeda: Possible Split?

    11/03/2005 2:40:48 PM PST · by StoneGiant · 15 replies · 1,190+ views
    The People's Cube ^ | 11/3/05 | Red Square
     ACLU and al Qaeda: Possible Split? By Red Square11/3/2005, 3:23 pm Rumors of a possible split between leaders of ACLU and al Qaeda have been fueled by an increased chatter level over the past few weeks, as follows from these interoffice memos obtained by our field operative at ACLU headquarters, 125 Broad Street in New York. ~ From: ACLU Board of Directors To: Al Qaeda Headquarters Dear Sir:In your videotaped statement broadcast by al-Jazeera, Mr. Ayman al-Zawahiri looks like a respectable statesman who appreciates reasonable dialogue. As such, we hope you will address our grievances for the sake of our...
  • DFU SONG: Oh Susanna (big mouth Susan Estrich goes nuclear)

    09/04/2004 1:49:54 PM PDT · by doug from upland · 26 replies · 916+ views
    DFU SONGS | 9-2004 | Lyrics, Doug from Upland
    MIDI - OH SUSANNA She had helped Michael Dukakis when the lib went down in flames That's the biggest thing she ever did and where she got her fame She is spewing leftist garbage on the TV every night Keep your children from the screen because she'd give them quite a fright Susan Estrich, insufferable at best I know any show's a stinker that has booked her as a guest Clinton didn't rape Juanita...that is something Susan knows If you ask her, she will tell you that Bill Clinton told her so She's been working for the DemocRATS for...
  • VANITY: CASTING NOTICE "ABLE DANGER"Written and Directed by Mel Gibson

    10/30/2005 8:16:24 AM PST · by Jo Nuvark · 24 replies · 1,015+ views
    10-30-05 | Jo Nuvark
    CASTING NOTICE: Mel Gibson Entertainment is looking for actors for upcoming action-thriller titled "Able Danger". Mr. Gibson will be playing the role of Lt. Shaeffer, but is pleased to announce that Mr. Larry Hagman will be cast in the role of President Clinton. It has been rumored that Ellen Degenerest's agent has contacted Mr. Gibson about playing the role of Senator Clinton. Other actors in consideration are Tim Robbins, Susan Serandon and Alec Baldwin. Please send submissions to MGE, Malibu, California.
  • DFU SONG: 2001 - Also Sprach Zarathustra (oh no, Sulu is gay...say it ain't so)

    10/28/2005 8:20:23 AM PDT · by doug from upland · 12 replies · 1,064+ views
    10-2005 | Lyrics, Doug from Upland
    MIDI: 2001 - Also Sprach Zarathustra I am gay...that's me Hip hooray...come see Want to play...for free? Then come to...West Hollywood Yes, you should I am good
  • Harriet Miers: Conservatives Can Take a Flying Leap (SATIRE)

    10/14/2005 11:27:43 AM PDT · by writer33 · 156 replies · 1,776+ views
    The National Ledger ^ | 10/14/2005 | Chris Davis
    Washington—Harriet Miers was brazen and defiant, not asking President Bush to withdraw her nomination to the Supreme Court despite sharp criticism from some of Bush’s conservative allies, practically telling conservatives to go take a flying leap. Bush’s bold, religious decision to nominate Miers—his White House counsel and a longtime adviser for the Supreme Court—has divided his supporters, many of whom wanted a nominee with a clear record of understanding of the Constitution, as well as abortion and other lame conservative issues. Miers left no clues to her position on abortion or any basic understanding of Constitutional law when she served...
  • DFU SONG: Mickey Mouse Club (R-o-n-n-i-e E-a-r-l-e)

    10/05/2005 11:01:42 PM PDT · by doug from upland · 11 replies · 334+ views
    DFU SONGS | 10-2005 | Lyrics, Doug from Upland
    MIDI - MICKEY MOUSE - children's section Who's the prosecutor who's insane as he can be R-O-N-N-I-E...E-A-R-L-E He will soon be in a rubber room...just wait and you will see R-O-N-N-I-E...E-A-R-L-E Ronnie Earle...what a squirrel He shops for juries till one will agree Like Javert, he's certain to go down in history R-O-N-N-I-E...E-A-R-L-E Who says to his camera crew, make sure the light's on me R-O-N-N-I-E...E-A-R-L-E Who'd be chasing Moby Dick if he were out to sea R-O-N-N-I-E...E-A-R-L-E Ronnie Earle...what a squirrel He shops for juries till one will agree Like Javert, he's certain to go down in history...

    10/07/2005 7:32:15 AM PDT · by DTogo · 37 replies · 1,519+ views
    The Tony Snow Show ^ | Oct. 7th, 2005 | DTogo
    Doug From Upland coming up on Tony's show.
  • American Dad: All About Steve (Not funny?)

    09/30/2005 10:28:49 AM PDT · by VU4G10 · 10 replies · 1,045+ views ^ | Sep 26, 2005 | Ryan j Budke
    When The Simpsons and Family Guy become repetitive, it's ok, because, well, they've earned it. They make continuity flubs, and that's ok too. American Dad hasn't earned that yet, so when they've got an episode devoted to Stan and his son Steve finding common ground a week after they had one, it doesn't sit well. When Stan references the pleasures of porn twice in one episode a week after they spent an episode singing the evils of it, that feels a little off too. American Dad has a lot of potential, but it is certainly not living up to much...
  • Hey,Gang ! Let's Start a Website !!

    09/26/2005 5:54:17 PM PDT · by genefromjersey · 7 replies · 489+ views
    The Morning Paper | 09/26/05 | vanity
    Hey Gang : Let’s Start a Web Site ! (A Cynical Look at Internet Foundations ) Let’s say we’ve got a message to put across – on the Web. We’re not completely sure what we want to say – and won’t know until we see who is willing to come up with the money. Should we make it Liberal ? Nah. That’s been done to death. Besides,Liberals are generally cheapskates ! Ditto for Conservatives. All the corporate funding is pretty well spoken for. Libertarian sounds attractive – mostly because nobody can really define what Libertarians stand for . Like the...
  • Parentally Incorrect: Drunk People Like My Daughter; Is That Wrong?

    09/24/2005 5:44:27 PM PDT · by Rodney King · 81 replies · 3,134+ views
    Voice of San Diego ^ | September 24, 2005 | Dave Moye
    My daughter is barely 2-and-a-half years old. That's hardly enough time to make assumptions about her life or personality but I can already tell one thing about her: Drunks and boozehounds really like her a lot. I don't know how soon after she was born that her appeal to alcoholics first appeared. Actually, I didn't notice at first because most of the people drinking alcohol around her during her first few months were family and friends, so their interest in my child didn't seem booze-influenced. We were living in University Heights at the time and I used to walk her...
  • Released Roberts Documents 'Disturbing'... (humor)

    08/10/2005 7:21:04 PM PDT · by Always Right · 12 replies · 377+ views
    AR Media | 8-10-05 | Always Right
    BREAKING:  Released Roberts Documents 'Disturbing'...(AR) Faced with growing pressure from concerned Democrats, the White House reluctantly released more documents to Democratic which may derail Robert's confirmation to the Supreme Court.   Sen. Charles Schumer, D-N.Y. said his staff's initial review of the documents was 'quite disturbing'.  Highly regarded Senator Schumer noted a gap of 18 days of missing work from Roberts record.  "This large gap shows Roberts may have skipped key assignments and perhaps was even AWOL," Schumer stated.GOP responded by spinning the story as 'old news' and not relevant to anything.  Sen. John Cornyn, R-Texas desperately pointed out, "for God's...
  • DFU SONG: Everyone's Gone to the Moon (Ms. Jackson Lee is a nitwit)

    06/17/2005 1:16:02 PM PDT · by doug from upland · 1 replies · 399+ views
    DFU SONGS | 6-2005 | Lyrics, Doug from Upland
    MIDI - EVERYONE'S GONE TO THE MOON As she is looking up at stars She recalls men have walked on Mars No one more stupid will you see Let us mock Ms. Jackson Lee In her the Dems must feel pride She has a mouth that's big and wide No one more stupid will you see Let us mock Ms. Jackson Lee She's an airhead whose in her prime When born dumb, it's for all time What foolish thing will she next say Come on please, Sheila, make my day No one more stupid will you see Let us...
  • Natalee Holloway (Aruba) 5 Men Now in Custody

    06/07/2005 1:35:36 PM PDT · by Hillary's Lovely Legs · 591 replies · 34,526+ views
    The two suspects arrested in connection with the disappearance have just been charged with murder, homicide and kidnapping leading to homicide.
  • Woman charged after fishy attire discovered

    06/06/2005 6:14:48 PM PDT · by NormsRevenge · 83 replies · 1,734+ views
    Monterey Herald ^ | 6/6/05 | AP - Sydney
    SYDNEY, Australia - There must have been something fishy about the way she walked. Customs officials said Monday they stopped a woman as she arrived Friday in the southern city of Melbourne on a flight from Singapore and found 51 live tropical fish allegedly hidden in a specially designed apron under her skirt. "During the search customs officers became suspicious after hearing 'flipping' noises coming from the vicinity of her waist," the Australian Customs Service said in a press release. "An examination revealed 15 plastic water-filled bags holding fish allegedly concealed inside a purpose-built apron." The species of fish was...
  • KERRY THREATENS TO TALK FOR ONE HOUR - Could be Violation of Geneva Conventions, Legal Scholars Say

    05/19/2005 3:21:11 AM PDT · by Sub-Driver · 21 replies · 1,122+ views
    KERRY THREATENS TO TALK FOR ONE HOUR Could be Violation of Geneva Conventions, Legal Scholars Say Adding fuel to the current controversy over Senate filibusters, Sen. John Kerry (D-Mass) today threatened to speak for a solid hour on the Senate floor, an act which several prominent legal scholars said could be in violation of the Geneva Conventions against torture. Sen. Kerry issued his threat today in the trademark monotone that became familiar to millions during his ill-fated run for the presidency in 2004. “I’m going to speak for a solid hour and there’s nothing any of you can do to...

    05/17/2005 10:01:10 AM PDT · by JoeV1 · 42 replies · 9,881+ views
    This is the funniest voice mail I've ever heard. I guy is calling in to his workPlace to expalin he will be late when an accident occurs right in front of him. The rest is hilarious.
  • If there was ever any doubt where they stand...

    05/12/2005 7:50:21 PM PDT · by BigFinn · 39 replies · 1,158+ views
    Arab News ^ | May 12, 2005
    Next time... This is a cartoon in May 13th edition of the Arab News. Click on Cartoons. This isn't funny.
  • DFU SONG: Blame It on the Bossa Nova (Clinton appointed judge in David Rosen trial)

    05/11/2005 12:01:38 PM PDT · by doug from upland · 13 replies · 713+ views
    DFU SONGS | 5-2005 | Lyrics, Doug from Upland MIDI - BLAME IT ON THE BOSSA NOVA - go to the site, click on A-H, then scroll down for the MIDI Back in '98, Bill appointed you Howard Matz, I think, you know what to do But if Peter Paul can't be slimed enough With the defendant then start playing rough Blame it all on David Rosen...he had done it all Blame it all on David Rosen...make him take the fall Make sure that my role is hidden publicly A nice appointment you will get from me Blame it all on David Rosen...he did it all Don't you...
  • DFU SONG: Teddy Bears Picnic (the story of Peter Paul and Hillary)

    05/07/2005 1:05:00 AM PDT · by doug from upland · 5 replies · 537+ views
    DFU SONGS | 5-2005 | Lyrics, Doug from Upland
    MIDI - TEDDY BEARS PICNIC - scroll down to Kiddie Favorites July 16th in 2001...a courier took the letter To Hillary he delivered it...he wishes he'd never met 'er The numbers had been made very can't say you did not know, my dear That is the day that Hillary wants forgotten Hillary cheated Lazio...the senate seat had been ripped off When Peter had found out what she did, the FEC he had tipped off The numbers had been made very can't say you did not know, my dear That is the day that Hillary wants forgotten She...
  • UNCLESHAG/DFU MP3: "Puff, the Magic's Over" -- Hillary Clinton campaign finance fraud

    05/06/2005 5:12:00 PM PDT · by doug from upland · 11 replies · 647+ views
    Right Wing Parodies LLC | 5-2005 | lyrics dfu/performance uncleshag
    For your enjoyment, Right Wing Parodies LLC proudly presents its latest creation -- PUFF, THE MAGIC'S OVER. DOWNLOAD MP3 Through song, we are going to tell the story of Peter Paul and Hillary. More songs will be coming.
  • DFU SONG: I Love How You Love Me (just beautiful...Rosen sings to Hillary)

    05/01/2005 5:21:37 PM PDT · by doug from upland · 4 replies · 473+ views
    DFU SONGS | 5-2005 | Lyrics, Doug from Upland
    Is David Rosen a fool? Is he a sucker? Do you really think he will do jail time for Hillary Rodham Clinton? MIDI - I LOVE HOW YOU LOVE ME I love how you're sticking those mean right-wingers I love how you shout and scream...and throw out those zingers I love the way you fool your minions easily But I won't go to, not for you, Hillary You pulled off a scam that sent...Rick Lazio packing Succeeding in getting your...big hard money backing I love the way you fool your minions easily But I won't go to...
  • DFU SONG: If (no, Hillary, you and your husband are to blame for North Korea nukes)

    05/01/2005 10:07:59 AM PDT · by doug from upland · 7 replies · 415+ views
    DFU SONGS | 4-2005 | Lyrics, Doug from Upland
    Well, there she goes again. We all know it would happen. Hillary Clinton is blaming President Bush for North Korea's nuke program. Clinton appeased North Korea and gave them fuel in exchange for a promise. That's like telling a 13-year-old girl in junior high some juicy gossip and accepting her promise that she will not pass it on. Typical Clinton. We had peace during Clinton's time. That's easy to do. Appease North Korea, allow Hussein to build up his weapons and kill 1.3 million people, don't respond to the World Trade Center, ignore the Iraqi connection to OKC, don't respond...
  • DFU SONG: The Brady Bunch (Peter Paul and the Clinton Bunch....or gang, if you prefer)

    04/28/2005 3:29:40 PM PDT · by doug from upland · 8 replies · 363+ views
    DFU SONGS | 4-2005 | Lyrics, Doug from Upland
    MIDI - BRADY BUNCH - scroll down and click on the MIDI Here's the story of a man named Peter Someone harmed him and had harmed his family He had not known that she very evil Of course, he soon would see Here's the story of the big fundraiser At the gala, two million bucks "in-kind" But, of course, all the reports were bogus The truth you're gonna find It's a story that is crying out for justice There's a woman who should not be walking free I suppose it really is no secret I think all of...
  • DFU SONG: Mexico (stinking corrupt hellhole of a country)

    04/25/2005 8:31:20 PM PDT · by doug from upland · 14 replies · 521+ views
    DFU SONG | 4-2005 | Lyrics, Doug from Upland
    MIDI - MEXICO (musical intro) Way down there, they are all planning to leave Load the van, they'll drink tequila and heave The U.S., they'll drag down and they won't grieve Oh, Mexico The country is a hellhole of corruption, we know We'll be so screwed if we don't stop the flow Illegals from Mexico Liberals want voters so that they can win One world dream...this is how they will begin We must share...that's because, we all are kin Oh, Mexico The country is a hellhole of corruption, we know We'll be so screwed if we don't stop the...
  • Millions flee Katie Couric

    04/29/2005 6:45:53 AM PDT · by FlyLow · 28 replies · 2,072+ views
    JWR ^ | 4-29-05 | Andy Borowitz
    Incidents of widespread panic were reported across the country today as millions of terrified Americans fled Katie Couric, the host of the NBC's "Today Show." The frenzied exodus marked the latest turn in the storied career of the morning host, once considered America's sweetheart but now widely seen as a ruthless diva capable of crushing all in her path at the slightest whim. Gregory Drunson, 42, was one of hundreds who jammed a Greyhound bus terminal in Flint, Michigan, desperate to flee to Canada and be as far away as possible from the once-chirpy morning despot. "I used to watch...
  • Pat Buchanan Attacked (Video)

    03/31/2005 10:38:00 PM PST · by Next_Time_NJ · 77 replies · 3,330+ views
    A man throws salad dressing on Pat buchanan during a Q&A session. -- Video via link..
  • Earth to be taken off life support... (satire)

    03/30/2005 12:23:05 PM PST · by Grig · 3 replies · 244+ views
    Cain, lawyer for Satan, filed a motion today requesting that all heat and light be withdrawn from the Earth in light of the United Nations assessment that the Earth is now damaged beyond repair. "If I were a planet, I wouldn't want to live like this" said Cain. While speaking of the current challenge to his client's claim to custody of the earth, Cain brushed off this opponents and 'nothing but a bunch of right wing Christian zealots' and added 'Anyone who watches the news knows who has custody of the world'. Christian groups are appealing to a higher authority...
  • DFU SONG: Thank You Girl (Osama thanks Nancy Powell for covering his back)

    03/29/2005 11:16:40 AM PST · by doug from upland · 3 replies · 343+ views
    DFU SONGS | 3-2005 | Lyrics, Doug from Upland
    MIDI - THANK YOU GIRL While I'm in a cave, I know that you have had my back Nancy, I am glad that you remain a Carter hack So I'll stand up and say I thank you wench, thank you wench They've been after me with a big bounty on my head When I win this war, I'll bring you here, and we'll be wed But Nancy, dear, for now I thank you wench, thank you wench Thank you, wench, for keeping secret their big reward I'll spare you when I'm removing heads with my sword So, Nancy, dear,...
  • DFU SONG: Food Glorious Food (U.N. oil for food)

    09/19/2004 7:57:53 PM PDT · by doug from upland · 13 replies · 539+ views
    DFU SONGS | 9-2004 | Lyrics, Doug from Upland
    MIDI - FOOD GLORIOUS FOOD We'd debate in the U.N....goodness, here we go again All we saw was their stonewalling This one really takes the cake...many had been on the take All those scumbags should be falling Marc Rich had been where he shouldn't have been Thanks to Bill, he would get away clean And we're ready for major league *ss kicking now That is nothing like we've ever seen Food, oil for food...the U.N. was scamming Kofi, you are toast...FOX News says it damning No wonder they voted had been flowing They hoped that their bank accounts...
  • DFU SONG: Windy (new "finger" food at Wendy's)

    03/25/2005 9:12:08 PM PST · by doug from upland · 8 replies · 772+ views
    DFU SONGS | 3-2005 | Lyrics, Doug from Upland
    MIDI - WINDY If late at night your hunger is burning...there is a place that you ought to go It has the food for which you are finger food at Wendy's Even Ta-Ray-za Heinz says she loves it...she is a frequent guest, so they say If food's delayed, she tells them to shove finger food at Wendy's Do they still have chili fries...can you get them supersized...clogged arteries, no surpise They'll make you is no joke...they'll make you is no joke Sometimes a new ingredient shows up...they're working hard to try something new Their latest...