Free Republic

I Snapped this picture today in a very small town near my own in north central Oklahoma. The sales pitch is simply brilliant, and I just had to share. Please caption, comment, photoshop, or come up with your own funny "You know Your a Redneck when..." line.

"It’s a little redneck, but we love it, we accept it, we admit and we enjoy it." Watch video: http://www.cardealerreviews.org/?p=116368

I have a question. Why do conservatives allow ourselves to be called "Rednecks". I'm on YouTube and Digg. When a poster calls us uneducated Rednecks, no one says a word. Why don't we own this word? Why aren't we framing the conversation? I find it insulting to be called a dumb Redneck. Much more than to be called a dumb Pollack, because at least I'm Polish. If macaca is insulting, why is Redneck okay?

http://www.notoriouslyconservative.com/2009/07/redneck-word-of-day-obama.html

Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Redneck? Here is a little test that will help you decide. The answer can be found by posing the following question:

The trucks idled in the long line on the dirt road leading to this place called the Redneck Yacht Club. The Turbo Diesels and the Power Strokes rumbled while waiting. Big trucks pulled trailers with even bigger trucks. This started on Friday morning of Memorial Day weekend, and continued into Friday night, and on into Saturday morning, and still on Saturday night. They had come to put their four-wheelers, their swamp buggies and their jacked-up trucks into 800 out-of-the-way acres of muddy, goopy, chocolatey slop. The signs on the roadside were rules. No littering. No underage drinking. No burning tires....

You don't have a big pickup to tow your 6,000 lb. gooseneck trailer. A little careful, well thought out engineering can solve your problem. Wouldn't you love to see how the trip went? Good chance he ended up doing some unintended off roading somewhere. She's hitched up and ready to roll! Amazing how the extra weight smoothes out the ride. Needed to air up the rear tires a bit ('bout 160 psi). Added some super heavy-duty chain for extra support on the tailgate, (note the 'Heavy-Duty 'S' hooks to attach the chain) Also paid-up for some BIG Number 5/16 sheet...

The El Camino swimming pool. Hot and sweaty? No pool to cool off in? No problem. With some plastic liner, and an El Camino, you can relax in style, just like them Hollywood folk. The motorcycle jet ski. Three inner tubes, an old motorcycle, a little duct tape, and you have yourself a fancy jet ski.

The discussion takes an "interesting" twist!

<p>MAGNOLIA, Ark. — Sheriff's deputies say a Texas woman started a brawl at a wake in Arkansas when she arrived with a beer can in her hand.</p>

HEBRON, Ind. — A woman who wasn’t invited to her sister’s wedding reception showed up anyway and attacked the bride, pulling out clumps of her hair, police said. Annmarie Bricker, 23, of Valparaiso, was arrested on a misdemeanor charge of battery.

Trash Buccaneers: Garbage... It's sounds so French, doesn't it?The efforts to stem international piracy took a step backwards when reports surfaced yesterday that a new type of seagoing transport has been targetted by these 21st century buccaneers.The Dream Cousin, a 42-ton garbage trawler, was hijacked off the coast of New Jersey by a group of Snyder Township pirates. The pirates are led by Cap'n Redneck, who hails from Northwood, the capital of Snyder Township."Why should the scallawags of New Jersey have all the finest of all the garbages, I aske ye," said Redneck. "Why, my backyard pile of diapers is...

SISSONVILLE, W.Va. (WSAZ) -- A scary wake up call for people in a mobile home in Sissonville Saturday morning. Dispatchers tell WSAZ.com that a car hit the trailer and then landed on its roof. The accident happened just after one o’clock on Saturday morning on Sissonville Drive in Sissonville. The people that live in the mobile home were home when the accident happened but no one in the trailer was injured. No information is available on the condition of the driver of the car. We will bring you more information as soon as we get it.

Mlakin has the lyrics and video of Sarah Palin in jeans, rocking out to “Redneck Woman”. Good stuff!

A new poll released this week shows one Western Pennsylvania Congressional race a lot tighter then many were expecting. Long time incumbent Democrat John Murtha has only a narrow lead in his race for re-election in he 12th Congressional District. Now in his 18'th term, Congressmen John Murtha is used to winning re-election by comfortable margins. But this time around, it appears a strong challenge is underway. The Democrat Murtha was first elected to Congress back in 1974. In recent years, he's been able to base his re-election campaigns on the economic benefits he has brought back to his...

Democratic congressman John “I Am the Walrus” Murtha, the man with the foot-shaped mouth, besmirched Pennsylvanian voters this past week calling them “racists” and “rednecks” because they’re refusing to smoke the Obama Oganja. I have a question for my readers: Do you think Murtha works on being consistently ridiculous or does it come naturally? I think it’s a natural gifting that’s right up there with Gary Busey’s brilliance. View Larger Photo & More >> VideoSpacer Fox News Murtha's Mea Culpa VideoIcons Watch Video Fox News Slander? VideoIcons Watch Video Kevin James Show 10-21-08 Hour 1 Seg 3 H1: Pope Starts...

"Sen. Obama's supporters have been saying some pretty nasty things about Pennsylvania lately. And you know, I couldn't agree more,"

Well I ain't never Been the barbie doll type No I can't swig that sweet champagne I'd rather drink beer all night In a tavern or in a honky tonk Or on a 4 wheel drive tailgate I've got posters on my wall of Skynard, Kid and Strait Some people look down on me But I don't give a rip I'll stand barefooted in my own front yard with a baby on my hip Cause I'm a redneck woman And I ain't no high class broad I'm just a product of my raisin' And I say "hey y'all" and "Yee...

CHARLEROI, Pa. -- U.S. Rep. John Murtha is calling many of the people who put him in office "rednecks." The news comes one week after Murtha claimed the area is racist, then apologized for that comment. In explaining his comments about racism, Murtha told WTAE it's difficult for many in the area to change. Murtha said that just five to 10 years ago the entire area was "redneck." Now Murtha said only certain segments of the population are holding on to those racist feelings. Just days after classifying western Pennsylvania as racist, Murtha took a step back from those comments,...

CHARLEROI, Pa. -- U.S. Rep. John Murtha is calling many of the people who put him in office "rednecks." The news comes one week after Murtha claimed the area is racist, then apologized for that comment. In explaining his comments about racism, Murtha told WTAE it's difficult for many in the area to change. Murtha said that just five to 10 years ago the entire area was "redneck."

During this US election cycle we are hearing a lot from the pundits and candidates about "heartland voters," and "white working class voters." What they are talking about are rednecks. But in their political correctness, media types cannot bring themselves to utter the word "redneck." So I'll say it for them: redneck-redneck-redneck-redneck.

This is an email I received from a good friend in New York City. She is a Bryn Mawr graduate, and is a physician currently engaged in cancer research at Columbia University. This is an email she received from a Bryn Mawr classmate of hers who lives in Alaska. Because you, like me, may never have heard of Sarah Palin until today, you may find this an interesting perspective from an Alaskan resident. B Begin forwarded message: Subject: just in from Bonnie's classmate Dear classmates - As an Alaskan, I am writing to give all of you some information on...

travisandjonathan Style: Sketch Joined: October 23, 2005 Last Sign In: 15 hours ago Videos Watched: 13,299 Subscribers: 13,394 Channel Views: 456,571   http://www.travisandjonatha... http://www.redstateupdate.com    http://www.myspace.com/redstateupdatesongs    All Music Guide review "How Freedom Sounds": At first glance, the comedy duo Red State Update may look like a Blue Collar Comedy Tour ripoff, but they're the darlings of progressive online magazine Salon.com and on the buddy list of "those liberal nonproliferationists" CNN. Thanks to their video submission, it was on said cable news network that young bumpkin Dunlap (played by Jonathan Shockley) and the overalled, Uncle Jesse-esque Jackie Broyles (Travis...

This time it's a duly certified, establishment-vetted, card-carrying member of the Mainstream Media who's been caught, tried and convicted by the always watchful PC Police. This time it was no Howard Stern or Don Imus, or even a football coach lettin' 'er rip at a press conference. This time it was NBC's own, always respectable if not downright pedestrian Andrea Mitchell, aka Mrs. Alan Greenspan. Goodness. What did she do? It seems the lady went and referred to an area of southwestern Virginia as "redneck, sort of bordering-on-Appalachia country." Ooh-wee!The linguistically delicate of southwestern Virginia are still squealing. These easily...

DEEPWATER, Mo. -- Officials were trying Tuesday to decide whether to file charges against a Missouri man who fatally shot his wife while trying to install a satellite TV system in the bedroom of their home. Patsy Long, 34, of Deepwater, died after being shot in the chest with a .22-caliber handgun on Saturday. Her husband, Ronald Long, fired the shot from the inside of their home after several unsuccessful efforts to punch a hole through the exterior wall using other means. Henry County sheriff's deputies said the woman was hit by the second of two shots fired by her...

You May Be A Redneck Pilot If... ... your stall warning plays "Dixie." ... your cross-country flight plan uses flea markets as check points. ... you think sectionals charts should show trailer parks. ... you've ever used moonshine as avgas. ... you have mud flaps on your wheel pants. ... you think GPS stands for going perfectly straight. ... your toothpick keeps poking your mike. ... you constantly confuse Beechcraft with Beechnut. ... just before impact, you are heard saying, "Hey y'all, watch this!" ... you have a black airplane with a big #3 on the side. ... you've ever...

Forrest's soldiers loved him. His fellow generals admired him. His enemies were terrified at the mere mention of his name. Gen. Robert E. Lee said of his finest subordinate commanders, the most remarkable was one he "had never met" — Forrest. And U.S. and foreign military officers alike have studied Forrest’s campaigns over the decades since the end of the war. It has even been speculated that some aspects of the German Blitzkrieg were patterned after some of Forrest's operations.

The Redneck Games began as a joke in response to the 1996 Olympic Games in Atlanta. In response to comments that the 1996 games would be held by a bunch of rednecks, D. J. Mac Davis started the Redneck Games, held annually in East Dublin, Ga. Geddy Lehman shows off his trophy after winning first place in the mud pit belly flop... "Freight Train", the unofficial mascot at the 2007 Summer Redneck Games, holds the ceremonial torch... Debbie Abear sells food at the 2007 Redneck Games... The daylong yearly festival celebrates the southern redneck way of life. A reveler wears...

Humor folks. I know emotions run hot on this issue(mine do), but spew your anger elsewhere. This is for fun. I was talking with one of my customers today and the subject of Jeff Foxworthy and his "You might be a redneck if .. . " humor came up and I said, what if there was humor about you might be an illegal alien if . . and he said, You might be an illegal alien if you go to the DMV and there is a long line and you get moved to the front of the line." And I...

"You might be a redneck if........" 1. Your Southern Babtist Church house has an ash tray on the right side of the front steps and a spittoon on the left. 2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a flyswatter. 3. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years. 4. You burn your yard rather than mow it. 6. The Salvation Army declines your furniture. 7. You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it. 8. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial. 9. You come back from...

The pentagon announced TODAY the formation of a new 500-man elite fighting unit called the United States Redneck Special Forces (USRSF). These boys will be dropped into Iraq and have been given the following facts about terrorists: 1. The season opened today. 2. There is no limit. 3. They taste like chicken. 4. They don't like beer, pickups, country music or Jesus. 5. They are directly responsible for the death of Dale Earnhardt. The Pentagon expects the problem in Iraq to be over by Friday.

The three men arrested for allegedly digging up the grave of a woman who died last week in Grant County are also charged with attempted sexual assault. The three men appeared in Grant County Circuit Court on Tuesday. According to a criminal complaint, the three men were charged with digging up the grave at the St. Charles Catholic Cemetery in Cassville with the intent to have sex with the victim's body, WISC-TV reported. Alexander Grunke, his twin brother Nicholas Grunke and their friend Dustin Radke -- all 20 years old -- have been in a Grant County jail since Saturday....

Video of a guy rigging 8500 bottle rockets to set off at (nearly) the same time.

FORT PAYNE, Ala. — A Valley Head man was arrested for walking naked along a highway while waving an American flag. The DeKalb County Sheriff's Department arrested Gerald Lynn Kelley, 52, and charged him with public lewdness in connection with the incident, the Fort Payne Times-Journal reported Tuesday. DeKalb Deputy Mike James said deputies were sent to Hammondville about 3 p.m. Sunday after receiving calls about two men walking nude along U.S. 11, just inside the town limits. James said Kelley, who was allegedly drunk, was wearing only a cowboy hat and boots. <---SNIP---->

A cardboard sign hanging in a tree, directed at a boy with developmental disabilities, and the boy's mother, isn't happy. Neighbor: "I'm not taking the sign down, last night was the first night of peace we've got in a long ----- time." Carrie Heaton, Colton's Mother: "They've put up this sign now, that we feel is very discriminatory against my son." The cardboard sign is hanging in a tree in the Central Utah town of Nephi. It is also being denounced tonight by advocates for the disabled. The boy's family noticed the sign pointed at their home on Wednesday night,...

Tougher penalties are sought in sex cases By John Greiner The Oklahoman Repeat child molesters could face the death penalty, life without parole or life in prison, under legislation approved Tuesday by the state Senate Judiciary Committee. "These are individuals who've proven they can't be rehabilitated," said state Sen. Jay Paul Gumm, D-Durant. "I believe child sex abuse to be the ultimate crime." Gumm, after being questioned by state Sen. Bernest Cain, said he didn't know if the U.S. Supreme Court would approve a death penalty for a repeat child molester. Cain, D-Oklahoma City, offered an amendment to eliminate the...

A pick-up truck driver, who finished treatments for a brain tumor last year, may have suffered a seizure before plowing straight through a Fort Worth house around 2:00 a.m. Sunday in the 3500 block of Sagecrest Terrace. Police arrested the driver, 23-year-old Hudson Boyd Hamner, on unrelated traffic warrants, but may also charge him with reckless driving. The owners of the home escaped injury despite claims that Hamner tried maneuvering the car once inside the home after the crash. "...He came right in through here, which is the dining room," said Stewart Henderson, the home's owner. Henderson, his wife and...

According to a video tape released today, last month’s air strike on a Pakistani target failed to take out Al Qaeda’s number two man Ayman al-Zawahri. In other news: The Pentagon announced today the formation of a new 500-man elite fighting unit called the United States Redneck Special Forces. Read More... Craig DeLuz Visit The Home of Uncommon Sense... www.craigdeluz.com

Posted on Fri, Dec. 02, 2005 Police: Two men charged in brawl in which deer leg was used as weapon The Associated Press ALLENTOWN -- Two men, including a 19-year-old accused of brandishing the leg of a deer, were charged in a brawl at the former Troxell Middle School, police said. South Whitehall police Sgt. Tom Gersbach said the charges probably were among the last stemming from a fight involving 35 to 40 people that erupted shortly before midnight on Oct. 1 after several weeks of disputes among Parkland High School students. Chaz F. Buzinski, of South Whitehall Township, who...

From Neal Boortz's "Redneck Scrapbook" today...25 ways to tell if you're a Redneck 1. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse. 2. You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids. 3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws. 4. You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night. 5. Jack Daniel's makes your list of "most admired people." 6. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean. 7. Anyone in your family ever died right after...

Tehran, 31 Oct. (AKI) - An Iranian on-line daily has reported that the hardline president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is riled by the decline in the Tehran stock exchange and would have liked to opt for a drastic solution. “If it had been possible to hang a couple of people, the Tehran stock exchange would already have been put in order," said Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, the daily rooz-on-line reports, quoting sources close to the president. During his electoral campaign, Ahmadinejad had described investments in stocks and shares as "a game of chance, contrary to Islamic principles". The subsequent denials by the aides of...

Your standard of living improves when you go camping. Your prenuptial agreement mentions chickens. You have jacked up your home to look for a dog. You have a relative living in your garage. There is a belch on your answering machine greeting. You have rebuilt a carburetor while sitting on the commode. None of the tires on your van are the same size. Your town put the new garbage truck in the Christmas parade. Your local beauty salon also fixes cars. Starting your car involves popping the hood. Your garbage man is confused about what goes and what stays. You've...

Last night I was pickin my banjo, drinkin a beer and enjoying a dip of Copenhagen and started thinkin bout my all time favorite C&W songs. You know, the ones you don't get tired of listening to. This is my top 5. 5. He Stopped Loving Her Today by George Jones 4. You're Not the Best by Charlie Robison 3. Rodeo by Garth Brooks 2. Amarillo by Morning by George Strait 1. Song of Wyoming by Chris LeDoux

An Irishman in a wheelchair entered a restaurant one afternoon and asked the waitress for a cup of coffee. Tha Irishman looked across the restaurant and asked, "Is that Jesus sitting over there?" The waitress nodded "yes," so the Irishman told her to give Jesus a cup of coffee on him. The next patron to come in was an Englishman with a hunched back. He shuffled over to a booth, painfully sat down, and asked the waitress for a cup of hot tea. He also glanced across the restaurant and asked, "Is that Jesus over there?" The waitress nodded, so...

The Pentagon announced today the formation of a new 500 man elite fighting unit called the US REDNECK SPECIAL FORCES (USRSF). These North Carolina, South Carolina, Kentucky, West Virginia, Mississippi, Missouri, Arkansas, Alabama, Georgia, Louisiana, Texas, and Tennessee boys will be dropped into Iraq and have been given the following facts about Terrorists: 1. The season opened today. 2. There is no limit. 3. They taste just like chicken. 4. They don't like beer, pickups, country music, or Jesus. 5. They are DIRECTLY RESPONSIBLE for the death of Dale Earnhardt. That mess in the middle east should be over IN...

An Iowa man with white supremacist leanings was arrested after he told truck drivers over "citizens' band" radio that he was planning to set off a bomb in Washington, police said. Terry Daniels, 44, was found at a roadside gas station about 100 miles (160 kilometers) west of Chicago at 3:45 a.m. after truck drivers called police with his license plate number and a description of which direction his blue Ford van was heading. "We didn't find any explosives," Princeton, Illinois police chief Tom Root said. "We found a lot of documents like anti-government stuff and white supremacist stuff. There...

The top 40 things you would NEVER hear a Redneck say, no matter how much they've had to drink, no matter how far from the South they've wandered and no matter how much the skunks are threatening: 40. Oh, I just couldn't. Hell, she's only sixteen. 39. I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex. 38. Duct tape won't fix that. 37. Honey, I think we should sell the pickup and buy a family sedan. 36. Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken. 35. We don't keep firearms in this house. 34. Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer? 33. You...

Redneck IQ Test I am sick and tired of hearing about how dumb people are in the South. I challenge any so-called smart Yankee to take this exam: 1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will support a 10 pound possum. 2. Which of these cars will rust out the quickest when placed on blocks in your front yard? (A) '65 Ford Fairlane (B) '69 Chevrolet Chevelle, or (C) '64 Pontiac GTO. 3. If your uncle builds a still, which operates at a capacity of 20 gallons of shine produced per hour, how many car radiators...

Here is today's installment of The Redneck Scrapbook