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Keyword: satire

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  • Celebrities Should Be Appropriately Dressed When Throwing The First Pitch In Baseball

    03/29/2012 2:38:16 PM PDT · by The Looking Spoon · 9 replies
    The Looking Spoon ^ | 3-28-12 | The Looking Spoon
    I think this outfit works.
  • If "Modern Family" Had A Reality Spin-Off Starring Democrat Politicians...

    03/29/2012 2:23:53 PM PDT · by The Looking Spoon
    The Looking Spoon ^ | 3-29-12 | The Looking Spoon
    It's random, I know...but here's what I think one of the families would look like...
  • Egypt Declares Israel “Number One Enemy”

    03/26/2012 2:38:58 PM PDT · by John Semmens · 3 replies · 4+ views
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 24 March 2012 | John Semmens
    The success of Egypt’s “Arab Spring” rolled on to yet another triumph as that country’s parliament renounced the possibility that it could ever be an ally of Israel. Instead, Israel was declared Egypt’s “number one enemy.” Following this development, President Obama announced the restoration of US military aid to Egypt. “Israel is a very powerful country in that region,” Obama explained. “If Egypt is to have any chance against them it is imperative that we extend as much military assistance as we can.” The President acknowledged that his decision “probably won’t go over well with some of Israel’s more strident...
  • Obama Deflects Solyndra Fiasco Blame

    03/26/2012 11:00:47 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 5 replies · 2+ views
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 24 March 2012 | John Semmens
    President Obama went on the offensive against criticism of his “green” energy approach. “There are some who would have the American people believe that the failure of the Solyndra Corporation is somehow my fault,” Obama said. “At best, it is a shared responsibility. True, the idea that we should promote clean energy was mine. Blame me for wanting to save the planet.” “But it was Congress that appropriated the money,” Obama continued. “Without this appropriation my Department of Energy would not have had and money to hand out to firms like Solyndra. Blame Congress for enabling my Administration to climb...
  • Executive Order Authorizing Martial Law Called “Routine”

    03/25/2012 2:50:07 PM PDT · by John Semmens · 15 replies · 3+ views
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 24 March 2012 | John Semmens
    Last weekend’s issuance of an Executive Order giving the President the option of declaring an emergency and taking control over all food, energy, water, transportation and any other materials was described as “routine” by Presidential Press Secretary Jay Carney. “The President has obligations to the American people,” Carney observed. “He would like the cooperation of Congress in his efforts to fulfill these obligations. But as we have seen, there are many in Congress who have labored to obstruct these efforts. The President needs to have latitude to act.” “It would be best for members of Congress to consider this Executive...
  • President’s Tax Plan Targets Rich

    03/25/2012 11:48:46 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 12 replies · 2+ views
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 24 March 2012 | John Semmens
    Labeling Wisconsin Republican Representative Paul Ryan’s budget proposal “a disaster for the middle class,” President Obama offered a plan that “will make the rich pay their fair share.” “It’s time for those who have a job, a car, a roof over their heads, and food on the table to step up and bear a bigger share of the costs of providing for those who don’t,” the President told a crowd of supporters at a campaign speech in Washington. “Those who have more than they need to live have an obligation to care for their fellow human beings. My plan helps...
  • Pelosi Predicts Court Will Find Obamacare Constitutional

    03/24/2012 2:25:23 PM PDT · by John Semmens · 26 replies · 1+ views
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 24 March 2012 | John Semmens
    House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif) confidently predicted that the US Supreme Court will rule that the President’s health care law is Constitutional. “The proof is right there in the Constitution itself where it promises that the government will provide for the people’s rights to life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness,” Pelosi said. “By making sure everyone buys health insurance the law is protecting their lives. By requiring that employers cover birth control costs the law is liberating people from the risks of unwanted pregnancies. And as for pursuit of happiness—isn’t that what those who need birth control are doing?”...
  • VP Lauds Obama’s Audacious Killing of bin-Laden

    03/24/2012 10:03:45 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 27 replies · 1+ views
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 24 March 2012 | John Semmens
    Vice-President Joe Biden praised the killing of Osama bin-Laden, calling it “the most audacious plan of the past 500 years.” Asked about other possible contenders for “most audacious plan”–the D-Day invasion of Normandy during WWII or Washington’s Christmas Day attack on Hessian troops in 1776—Biden replied “no contest.” “The raid that killed bin-Laden was carried out without any casualties for our side,” Biden pointed out. “The same can’t be said for any other action taken by any other president. Let’s not forget that Allied Forces had 10,000 casualties on D-Day and 2500 men were killed. That’s a bit of a...
  • How The World Views Obama

    03/22/2012 10:18:27 AM PDT · by The Looking Spoon · 9 replies
    The Looking Spoon ^ | 3-22-12 | The Looking Spoon
    Big h/t to iOwnTheWorld for the Obama/Jesus/Rockwell self portrait piece.
  • One Way Obama Could Persuade OPEC To Increase Production...

    03/21/2012 4:42:34 PM PDT · by The Looking Spoon
    The Looking Spoon ^ | 3-21-12 | The Looking Spoon
  • Biden On The Wisdom Of Democrat Brainwashing

    03/20/2012 4:35:07 PM PDT · by The Looking Spoon · 2 replies
    The Looking Spoon ^ | 3-20-12 | The Looking Spoon
  • New Flag Being Test Marketed

    03/20/2012 2:00:43 PM PDT · by John Semmens · 27 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 17 March 2012 | John Semmens
    Concerned that the current version of the American flag may be out-dated, Democratic Party officials have been trying out a new design in selected locations. If you would like to order one to display at your home or place of business call 678-653-5247. if you missed any of this week's other semi-news posts you can find them at...
  • Vice-President Lauds Obama’s “Spine of Steal”

    03/18/2012 2:40:35 PM PDT · by John Semmens · 17 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 17 March 2012 | John Semmens
    In written remarks distributed before a campaign speech to the United Auto Workers Union, Vice-President Joe Biden praised President Obama’s courage for bailing out General Motors and Chrysler. “Where others might have been deterred by property rights or contracts, President Obama charged in, unafraid,” Biden remembered. “He put your jobs, your interests ahead of all else.” Biden urged union members to keep this in mind come election day. “Some may put their trust in the law,” Biden said. “But I say having a guy you can trust at the wheel trumps anything that might be written down in a statute...
  • Healthcare Mandate Decision Final Says White House

    03/18/2012 11:04:13 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 13 replies · 1+ views
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 17 March 2012 | John Semmens
    Press Secretary Jay Carney advised those critical of the Administration’s decision to make insurers cover birth control devices and drugs to “give it a rest.” “Look, the President is sorry that some consider this action to be insensitive to their personal or religious beliefs,” Carney said. “But they certainly cannot expect him to subjugate his policy aims to these beliefs.” Carney suggested that critics “may want to reexamine the issue. Does the Bible explicitly prohibit birth control, or for that matter, abortion? I don’t recall ever having read that Jesus gave any commandments on these matters. I think His wish...
  • Secret Service Granted Broad Censorship Authority

    03/17/2012 5:05:48 PM PDT · by John Semmens · 14 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 17 March 2012 | John Semmens
    The Federal Restricted Buildings and Grounds Improvement Act of 2011 signed into law last week by President Obama allows the Secret Service to determine what kind of speech may be permitted in proximity to the President and other government officials qualified for Secret Service protection. “Most people are probably familiar with our role as protectors of the President against would-be assassins,” said Secret Service spokesman Elroy Hood. “But assassins aren’t the only ones who pose a threat. Vocal opponents damage the image the government is trying to project and can undermine its authority every bit as much as an attempt...
  • Attorney General Explains His Opposition to Voter ID Laws

    03/17/2012 12:05:31 PM PDT · by John Semmens · 23 replies · 1+ views
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 17 March 2012 | John Semmens
    Obama’s Attorney General Eric Holder continued his battle to prevent states from requiring voters to show photo identification before they are permitted to cast ballots. That the US Supreme Court has already held that voter ID laws are Constitutional makes no difference says the AG. “I don’t need some court to tell me what’s right and what’s wrong,” Holder exclaimed. “It’s something everyone who’s grown up Black just knows by instinct.” Holder made short shrift of arguments based on the ubiquity of requests to show photo IDs in order to buy beer, enter a public building, rent a movie, board...
  • Drawing Distinctions Between Limbaugh & Maher

    03/17/2012 12:09:53 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 29 replies · 1+ views
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 16 March 2012 | John Semmens
    While both Rush Limbaugh and HBO's Bill Maher have used offensive language against women whose political views they oppose, Representative Shelley Berkely (D-Nev) attempted to explain why she feels one should be banned and the other not. “First of all, there is the issue of impact,” Berkely said. “Limbaugh's audience numbers in the millions. Maher, on the other hand, has maybe a few thousand fans. Since so few people have actually heard what Maher has said, his remarks are more along the lines of a private conversation. I mean, why ban someone that hardly anyone is listening to?” “Second, is...
  • White House Unveils New American Flag [Satire}

    03/16/2012 2:04:42 PM PDT · by QT3.14 · 10 replies · 2+ views
    Weekly World News ^ | March 14, 2012 | Frank Lake
    WASHINGTON – The White House reportedly is set to announce a redesign of the American flag. Reports from sources close to the White House say that President Obama felt that the American flag, “like the Constitution,” was old and needed updating. Here’s what the new flag will look like:
  • A Flaming Vigilante

    03/16/2012 4:42:56 AM PDT · by marktwain · 4 replies
    The War on Guns ^ | 15 March, 2012 | Ned
    WarOnGuns Correspondent Ned submitted this as a comment to today's "Gratifying Colin" post. I think it is on target and witty as hell, and deserves standalone recognition: In other news, two people trapped in a wrecked bus perished when the bus they were traveling in caught fire after a traffic accident. It is alleged that an untrained civilian was unable to contain the flames with the fire extinguisher on the bus. The vigilante was held for questioning, before being released when it was discovered that no laws were broken. The legislature immediately responded by introducing a bill forbidding anyone but...
  • What Can Obama Do About Gas Prices?

    03/13/2012 12:46:00 PM PDT · by The Looking Spoon · 18 replies
    The Looking Spoon ^ | 3-13-12 | The Looking Spoon