Free Republic

President Obama on Tuesday inadvertently blamed George W. Bush for a startling drop in U.S. crime in the first half of 2009. According to the FBI, murder and manslaughter fell by 10 percent, all violent crimes were off 4.4 percent, rape was down 3.3 percent and property crimes declined 6.1 percent, continuing trends begun in 2008.

News fairly unbalanced. We report. You decipher. Decrying the lack of "choice and competition" in the U.S. memoir market, President Obama today backed a House bill to create a "single-writer public option" autobiography to serve the needs of an estimated 47 million Americans who can't afford Sarah Palin's $28.99 hardcover "Going Rogue." Although the Congressional Budget Office estimates the cost of the measure at $1.7 trillion over 10 years, the president said it would "not add a single dime to the deficit" because funding would come from a 55 percent tax on sales of "Going Rogue" as well as on...

Journalists across the nation, moved by the plight of a troubled Muslim psychiatrist whose "understandable emotional turmoil" broke out in gunfire last week at Fort Hood, Texas, will hold a major fundraising event in the coming weeks in honor of the accused shooter, Maj. Nidal Malik Hasan. News coverage of the tragedy sparked reporters and anchors in the mainstream media to "reach out to Hasan in love and brotherhood because his righteous indignation at the illegal wars in Iraq and Afghanistan led him to express his outrage in the only avenue open to a non-journalist," according to an unnamed organizer...

News fairly unbalanced. We report. You decipher. [in other words, satire]President Obama today announced his plan to add "choice and competition" to the World Series of Major League Baseball by adding a 'public team' to the traditional end-of-season championship duel. The president said the public option was needed because the American League champion New York Yankees and National League victors, the Philadelphia Phillies, were "motivated by greed to put their own interests ahead of the interests of the American people." "Without a public option," said Obama, "you would just see two teams trying to run up the score, without any...

Congratulatory messages poured into the White House this morning from global heads-of-state celebrating President Barack Obama’s dramatic rescue of a 6-year-old Colorado boy, whose apparent flight in an experimental balloon yesterday captivated viewers around the world. While the White House declined to comment on how the president could have flown to Colorado, retrieved the boy from the balloon, and returned him safely to the attic of his family home, press secretary Robert Gibbs said President Obama was “surprised and deeply humbled” by the international attention. He said the president views this latest round of global tribute as “a call to...

<p>“The Nobel committee, perhaps persuaded by faulty intelligence and a hyped sense of urgency, made an historic blunder in its rush to judgment,” said Mr. Ban. “When Obama was nominated in February, he had just taken office…so the prize was awarded based on his speeches as a presidential candidate, not even for the good intentions that he has implemented in the past eight months.”</p>

Just a day after White House "green jobs czar" Van Jones resigned amid controversy over his radical views, the Obama administration said it had discovered a new vetting tool called "Google" that also revealed that the president's "public option" health insurance proposal may be socialist as well. "You just type a few words into this rectangle," said White House press secretary Robert Gibbs, "Click a button and information suddenly appears on your computer screen. When we did that, we were shocked to learn that Van was a socialist, and that the keystone of the president's health reform plan probably is...

A new "elite interrogation unit", that President Barack Obama has appointed to quiz terrorism detainees, will apparently be run by CBS News anchor Katie Couric, rather than the Central Intelligence Agency. If the report from anonymous sources proves accurate, the former NBC "Today" hostess, would head up the High-Value Detainee Interrogation Group, or HIG, under the president's National Security Council. Detainee-questioning sessions would be filmed before a live studio audience in Burbank, California. "The president wants to ensure that these folks receive all the protections the U.S. Constitution affords other citizens," said White House press secretary Robert Gibbs. "We can't...

News fairly unbalanced. We report. You decipher. Uncle Sam's Cash-for-Clunkers program has already spent its allotted $3 billion, making it by government standards an instant success, and forcing Democrats look for alternative ways to compensate auto retailers for the deeply-discounted deals they've made on some 457,000 vehicles. Many car dealers have yet to receive a nickel from the federal government after waving goodbye to dozens of customers who drove off of their lots in new cars marked down by up to $4,500. However, President Barack Obama today told dealers not to "worry about reimbursement because if cash runs out, we...

I don't know if this has been posted but follow the link to the Washington Examiner. As usual Scott is on right on track.

An ailing woman who slipped a Secret Service cordon to touch the hem of President Barack Obama’s trousers before yesterday’s health care townhall meeting in New Hampshire has received a full pardon from the president, the White House said today. Secret Service agents took the unnamed Granite State resident into custody after her fingertips grazed the fringe of Mr. Obama’s left pant, in what she later said was an attempt to get care for a chronic blood discharge she has suffered for 12 years, but for which she has failed to seek treatment due to worries that emergency room staff...

After a gentle rebuke from the president, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, D-CA, said today she regrets using the term ‘un-American’ in Monday’s USA Today op-ed to describe protesters at health care reform townhall meetings held by Democrat lawmakers. “The president is right,” said Rep. Pelosi, “They’re not un-American. The proper term might be ‘guest protesters’. But since they weren’t really invited to the townhalls, technically they’re ‘undocumented agitators’. However, they are entitled to all the rights and benefits of full American citizenship, including the right to free speech, the right to petition their government for the redress of grievances, and...

News fairly unbalanced. We report. You decipher. President Barack Obama today celebrated his 48th birthday with a retroactive declaration of statehood for Kenya, his father's homeland and the nation where some skeptics say he was born on August 4, 1961. Conspiracy theorists, collectively called 'birthers' by those who trust the president's version of events, say Obama has refused to release his official birth certificate, so no one can be sure that he's a 'natural born' U.S. citizen, or even that he's at least 35 years old and, therefore, Constitutionally qualified for the office. By declaring Kenya a U.S. state retroactive...

(2009-07-15) — With Democrats in Congress already alarmed at revelations that the Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) had a covert scheme to kill terrorist leaders like Usama Bin Laden, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi is reportedly set to announce a probe into allegations that the CIA may have also “conspired to conduct espionage operations against America’s enemies.” Although the “vague” plans to dispatch small CIA teams to hit senior al Qaeda leaders never materialized due to legal, logistical and diplomatic obstacles, current CIA Director Leon E. Panetta cancelled the program in June, and sold several planning documents to the producers of Fox...

Examiner Columnist | 7/6/09 10:44 PM News fairly unbalanced. We report. You decipher. President Barack Obama returns from Russia this week with a verbal commitment in hand from President Dmitry Medvedev to slash stockpiles of nuclear weapons as a preemptive strike against one of the top five potential causes of man-made global warming -- unrestrained atomic fission. "Our conflicting notions of national security made previous nuclear arms reductions difficult," said Mr. Obama, standing next to his Russian counterpart at a news conference, "but our shared concern over the threat of global warming has brought us together this week. Dmitry and...

(2009-07-03) — Sarah Palin today announced she would step down as Governor of Alaska in order to spend more time with CBS News anchor Katie Couric, ABC News anchor Charlie Gibson and several unnamed former staffers from John McCain’s presidential campaign. “We all have our priorities in life,” said the former Republican vice presidential candidate. “I met so many interesting people during the presidential race and many of them still have the same commitment toward me that they had during the campaign.” Gov. Palin said she looks forward to “relaxing, fishing, hunting and just generally giving people something to Twitter...

Examiner Columnist | 6/30/09 5:55 AM News fairly unbalanced. We report. You decipher. President Obama's Supreme Court nominee, Judge Sonia Sotomayor, announced today she may sue her potential future colleagues for racial bias over yesterday's 5-4 ruling that overturned her own decision in the New Haven fire fighters discrimination lawsuit. The Supreme Court ruled in Ricci v. DeStefano Monday that an employer could not throw out the results of a promotion exam simply for fear of a lawsuit from racial minorities who fared poorly on the test. Sotomayor accused the high court's "Constitutional literalists" of bias and an "abject lack...

(2009-06-27) — Senate Republicans today introduced an “innovative alternative� to the 1,300-page cap-and-trade climate change bill which passed the House 219-212 virtually-unread Friday night as the nation sat transfixed by wall-to-wall coverage of the death of an iconic pop singer. Supporters said the GOP-sponsored ‘Michael Jackson Energy Act’ will clear away a raft of environmental regulations that currently discourage construction of nuclear power plants, and will spark energy independence while reducing emissions of so-called greenhouse gases.The 1,897-page Michael Jackson Energy bill includes more than a thousand pages of uninformed speculation about the cause of the performer’s death, gossip about the...

(2009-05-26) — Calling it “the right thing to do” Secretary of State Hillary Clinton today announced that the State Department would soon grant the same benefits to spouses and domestic partners as well as to those with whom U.S. diplomats conduct extra-marital affairs. “Same sex or opposite sex, married or not, faithful or cheating — any time people come together intimately, taxpayers are morally obligated to take care of their every need,” said Secretary Clinton. “History has shown that some couples in adulterous affairs are more devoted to each other than they are to the ones with whom they share...

By: Scott Ott Examiner Columnist | 5/22/09 4:57 AM News fairly unbalanced. We report. You decipher In an effort to shut down the U.S. Naval Detention Center at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, thereby restoring America's moral standing in the world, President Barack Obama today declared some 240 enemy combatants held at Gitmo to be 'human fetuses'. In an executive order, the president said, "Since I ordered Gitmo shut down, and people don't want us to bring the inmates here, the only way to extract them from the facility is to change their legal status to one that offers us more choices."...

CIA Offers to Determine When Pelosi Knew by Scott Ott for ScrappleFace (2009-05-12) — In an effort to clarify exactly when House Speaker Nancy Pelosi knew that the U.S. employed enhanced interrogation techniques, like waterboarding, on terrorists, the CIA today offered to question the California Democrat. “With the passage of time, memory gets clouded,” said a CIA source who spoke on condition of anonymity. “But we have learned how to clear away the clouds, and bring into sharp focus the relevant details.” Rep. Pelosi initially said she had not been briefed on the harsh interrogation methods, then said she thought...

(2009-05-06) — Pennsylvania Senator Arlen Specter, who last week became a Democrat to boost his odds of winning re-election, again shocked the political world when he announced today that he had switched from Judaism to Christianity in hopes of regaining the seniority which the senate stripped from him Tuesday.

News fairly unbalanced. We report. You decipher. The rash of piracy incidents off the coast of Africa in recent years has spurred the Obama administration to reach out to the other G-20 nations to build consensus around a "gradual drawdown of cargo vessels in global sea lanes." Although administration officials have been working behind the scenes on a multilateral cargo-ship reduction treaty, the White House decided to go public with the plan after this week's pirate attack on the U.S.-flagged Maersk Alabama. "The United States is the number-one consumer and producer of cargo-shipped goods," said White House press secretary Robert...

When the most powerful man in the world bent at the waist, and lowered his gaze to greet a Muslim monarch at the G-20 summit in London this week, he could not have known how the gesture would catch on back home. But that’s just what’s happened. The so-called ‘Obama Power Bow’ has become a new craze embraced by the rich and famous, as they continue to emulate everything about their chic new American president. Saudi Arabian King Abdullah received the traditional expression of fealty and servitude from the U.S. commander in chief with evident glee, smiling broadly — his...

A San Francisco County judge, who yesterday struck down California’s ban on homosexual marriage, today ruled on the same basis that separate restrooms for men and women are unconstitutional. Superior Court Judge Richard Kramer likened the division of washrooms to laws requiring racial segregation in schools, and said there appears to be “no rational purpose for denying women access to men’s facilities and vice versa.” “The state’s protracted denial of equal protection cannot be justified simply because such constitutional violation has become traditional,” Judge Kramer wrote. “The court finds that the legal principle of lavatorio proportio [potty parity] offers inadequate...

Obama Taps Ralph Nader to Run GM, Nader Joins UAW by Scott Ott for ScrappleFace · 2 Comments (2009-03-30) — President Barack Obama today tapped consumer advocate and career presidential candidate Ralph Nader to replace fired General Motors CEO Rick Wagoner. Mr. Nader immediately announced he would join the United Autoworkers Union (UAW). “The federal government has no intention of running a car company,” Mr. Obama said. “That’s why I’m bringing in Ralph Nader, who had a major influence on GM during the final years of its heyday.” Other than replacing the CEO and much of the board, and personally...

(2009-03-24) — After Rep. Barney Frank, D-MA, admitted he feared a Supreme Court ruling on homosexual marriage because “that homophobe Antonin Scalia has too many votes on this current Court“, the associate justice called on all Americans to “have patience with Rep. Frank as he struggles with his heterophobia.” “Barney Frank, accustomed as he is to putting like with like, apparently fears things that are hetero…meaning different,” Mr. Scalia said. “Under our Constitution, the judicial and legislative branches are not homo — meaning the same. If the people want to create law about issues not mentioned in the Constitution, they...

(2009-03-22) — With the debate over AIG executive bonuses nearly bringing official Washington to a standstill in the past three weeks, the Obama administration today expanded its plan to control Wall Street executive pay, adding provisions to limit compensation for star performers in the National Football League (NFL), National Basketball Association (NBA) and Major League Baseball (MLB).“Some of these sports stars, like AIG execs, have negotiated sweetheart deals paying them millions of dollars, and yet they lose games,” said White House spokesman Robert Gibbs. “The president shares the outrage of the American people at these obscene salaries and bonuses. There’s...

Obama, Dodd Outraged at AIG Campaign Cash by Scott Ott for ScrappleFace · No Comments (2009-03-17) — As the furor over AIG executive bonuses threatened to bring the current economic recovery to a halt, President Barack Obama and Sen. Chris Dodd today threw fuel on the fire, announcing their “fierce outrage” upon hearing that the insurance giant had given each of their campaigns more than $100,000 last year. “While AIG was collapsing, and her executives crawling to DC with hat in hand,” said Sen. Dodd, D-CT, “my campaign, and then-Senator Obama’s were getting what can only be termed influence bonuses...

CNBC reporter Rick Santelli, whose passionate rant about the Obama housing rescue plan, and call for a "Chicago Tea Party" became a viral internet video, was arrested today by armed officers from the Environmental Protection Agency's (EPA) covert special forces division. Held without bail at an undisclosed "brownfield site", Santelli faces several counts of reckless endangerment of wildlife habitat after he threatened to rally capitalists to dump "derivative securities" into Lake Michigan as a way of re-enacting the Boston Tea-Party protest of 1773. "Mr. Santelli is certainly entitled to his wacky economic opinions," said White House spokesman Robert Gibbs, "But...

(2009-01-31) — In office less than two weeks, President Barack Obama has already increased tax receipts at the U.S. Treasury with an innovative plan to get tax-dodgers to pay up, in full, immediately. “The president’s plan is simple but ingenious,” said White House spokesman Robert Gibbs, “He targets wealthy individuals who filed inaccurate tax forms, cheating the government out of tens of thousands of dollars. Then he just nominates them for cabinet positions. They suddenly see the error of their ways, and they cut checks for the full amount owed, plus interest.” In the month of January alone, Mr. Obama...

President Barack Obama chose al-Arabiya to grant his first full interview as president of the United States, trying to repair the damage done by his predecessor’s efforts to free 25 million Iraqis from dictatorship and terrorism. The president snubbed CNN, MSNBC, FoxNews, ABC, CBS, PBS and even Scrappleface Network News (SNN), according to a White House spokesman because he wanted to talk directly to the Arab world, without the filter of a network that’s just a tool of the imperialistic Zionist American regime. Tonight, SNN brings you an in-depth analysis of this historic interview.

(2008-11-13) — Claiming that the hectic pace of his work in the U.S. Senate has taken its toll, Barack Obama announced today he would resign his senate seat effective Sunday, and take a couple of months off to relax and finish a tell-all memoir. “Like most hard-working Americans, you get to a point where you just need some ‘me time’,” said the 47-year-old Illinois Democrat. “Writing gives me that relief from the stress, and frankly, the exhaustion brought on by my periodic exertions as a lawmaker.” According to a news release from the publisher, the memoir entitled 143 Days That...

(2008-11-05) — President-elect Barack Obama today politely declined a request from the Republican National Committee to “redistribute the votes” from yesterday’s Congressional contests in order to “spread the power around.” “It’s not that we want to punish your success,” wrote RNC chairman Mike Duncan. “We just want to make sure that everybody who is behind you has a chance for success too. Our attitude is that if the election’s good for folks from the bottom up, it’s gonna be good for everybody … when you spread the power around, it’s good for everybody.” ” In a brief written reply to...

With oil prices plummeting toward $85 a barrel, down almost 40 percent in just a few weeks, U.S. Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson today said, “I may use my new superpowers for good by rescuing OPEC member nations to ensure the free flow of gasoline at fair market prices above $3 per gallon.” Although the Organization of Petroleum Exporting Countries (OPEC) includes anti-American antagonists like Iran and Venezuela, Mr. Paulson said, the syndicate controls about 40 percent of global oil supply and therefore “they fit the ever-growing category of things too big to fail.” Mr. Paulson said he would sit down...

’60s Bomber Ayers Repudiates NY Times, Obama Links by Scott Ott for ScrappleFace · 6 Comments (2008-10-04) — William Ayers, founder of the radical Weather Underground group which carried out a bombing campaign against U.S. targets in the 1960s, today attempted to distance himself from both Barack Obama and The New York Times. Mr. Ayers distributed a news release in response to the Times’ 2,100-word investigative story, originally titled “Obama Has Met Ayers, but the Two Are Not Close” and later re-headlined “Obama Met Ayers By Accident, Worked with Him Unwittingly, Can’t Recall What He Looks Like.” “I don’t read...

Although it cost more than the Louisiana Purchase and the Alaska purchase combined and offers far less acreage, President George Bush today said he thinks “U.S. citizens will welcome our 51 state with open arms.” The announcement that the financial realm collectively known as “Wall Street” had applied for statehood follows a week in which the federal government took control of mortgage giants Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, and insurance megalith AIG. It also comes as news breaks that the U.S. plans to spend up to a $1 trillion to “rescue” other foundering financial firms.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DR0k_-IFqJk

Sen. Barack Obama told ABC’s George Stephanopolous on Sunday that he considered joining the military when he left high school in 1979, but declined when he learned that the Vietnam War had ended some four years earlier, and that the first Persian Gulf War wouldn’t start for another 11 years. Sen. Obama’s opponent, Sen. John McCain was shot down, captured, and repeatedly tortured in Vietnam during more than five years as a prisoner of war, much of that in solitary confinement. The Democrat presidential nominee, in a surprising revelation not mentioned in either of his two memoirs, said, “I actually...

After Obama Jab, Pig Lipstick Sales Surge Posted By Scott Ott On September 10, 2008 @ 8:59 am In Business, Conventions, Politics | 1 Comment (2008-09-10) — Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin’s growing popularity has spawned a booming cottage industry in Palin-esque items from hockey jerseys to her distinctive frameless eyeglasses. Now, an allegedly off-hand remark by Democrat presidential nominee Barack Obama has sparked a run on another product, clearing the shelves of pig lipstick at farm stores across the nation Yesterday, Sen. Obama mocked the McCain-Palin ticket’s “maverick” claim, at one point noting that “you can put lipstick on a...

(2008-09-06) — In the days following Gov. Sarah Palin’s appointment as John McCain’s running mate, Americans have grown increasingly concerned about her brand of radical Christianity. A new recording released to the media today by Barack Obama’s campaign, gives definitive proof that Gov. Palin’s pastor, in an emotional tirade, once called on God to “bless” America. The recording captured at Wasilla Bible Church, the Palin’s home congregation, will doubtless cause discomfort among educated Americans, and raises new questions about Gov. Palin’s worldview. “It’s provincial, primitive and mythological,” said one unnamed Obama staffer. “Presumably, if she became president, Sarah Palin would...

Palin’s Radical Pastor Calls on God to ‘Bless’ USA by Scott Ott for ScrappleFace · 2 Comments (2008-09-06) — In the days following Gov. Sarah Palin’s appointment as John McCain’s running mate, Americans have grown increasingly concerned about her brand of radical Christianity. A new recording released to the media today by Barack Obama’s campaign, gives definitive proof that Gov. Palin’s pastor, in an emotional tirade, once called on God to “bless” America. The recording captured at Wasilla Bible Church, the Palin’s home congregation, will doubtless cause discomfort among educated Americans, and raises new questions about Gov. Palin’s worldview. “It’s...

Obama Bill to Fund Foreign Policy Training for Girls by Scott Ott for ScrappleFace · 1 Comment (2008-09-03) — Sen. Barack Obama, the Democrat presidential nominee, reacting to the growing concern about Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin’s lack of foreign policy experience, today asked his staff in Washington D.C. to introduce legislation creating a $44 billion program to “teach girls about other countries.” “My bill will not only help future female vice presidential candidates to get up to speed,” said Sen. Obama, “but it also addresses a larger problem. If Sarah Palin, a state executive and commander of the National Guard,...

DNC ‘Real People’ Include Working Mom $24M in Debt by Scott Ott for ScrappleFace · No Comments (2008-08-22) — The Democrat National Convention speaker line up will feature a number of “real people” talking about the pain of living in these tough economic times, including an Indiana railroader, a Michigan truck driver, and an ordinary working mother from New York who’s saddled with $24 million in campaign debt. The woman, who spent that money in an effort to get a better job, saw her hopes and dreams crushed because of sex discrimination in the Democrat party during the Bush administration....

John Edwards Confirms 2nd Tabloid Report by Scott Ott for ScrappleFace · No Comments (2008-08-11) — Former Democrat presidential candidate John Edwards, just days after confirming a National Enquirer story about an adulterous affair with amateur filmmaker Rielle Hunter, today acknowledged the truth of another supermarket tabloid report. In an exclusive interview with ABC News, Mr. Edwards confessed that stories and photos in the Weekly World News were accurate, despite his previous denials. “I have, in fact, met on more than one occasion with a large-headed alien from another planet,” said Mr. Edwards. “The pictures in the Weekly World News...

RUSH: Grab audio sound bite number 26 first, Mike. I didn't know we'd get to this this early. I asked Cookie to put together a little montage here of all the stuttering around that Obama did in his press conference today and I want you to hear this because -- and we didn't repeat anything here. It goes 46 seconds, and we're doing this because we hear constantly, "What a great orator and a great communicator! Ohhhh, this man is smooth!" Just listen. This is a great illustration here of what happened when you take the teleprompter and your prepared...

McCain Backs Timeline to Get Obama Out of Iraq by Scott Ott for ScrappleFace (2008-07-20) — Republican presidential nominee John McCain today for the first time said he can now support a timeline to reduce the American presence in Iraq, specifically advocating the withdrawal from Iraq of Democrat presidential nominee Barack Obama, and several battalions of U.S. news anchors and reporters. “It’s time to bring them home,” said Sen. McCain at a news conference attended by an journalism intern from the Des Moines Register. “The surge has worked, and it’s time to redeploy.” Sen. McCain said bringing Sen. Obama home...

Democrat presidential nominee Sen. Barack Obama today faulted the "weakness of the Bush administration" for Iran's recent long-range missile testing, and said when he sits in the Oval Office "Iran will know that we mean talk." The Illinois senator said he would engage Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad in face-to-face negotiations offering "carrots as well as sticks," meaning that he would "reward Iranian goodwill gestures with stirring laudatory speeches, and punish Iran's violations of U.N. resolutions with bold rhetorical rebukes."

Obama: Iran Needs to Know We Mean Talk by Scott Ott for ScrappleFace (2008-07-10) — Democrat presidential nominee Sen. Barack Obama today faulted the “weakness of the Bush administration” for Iran’s recent long-range missile testing, and said when he sits in the Oval Office “Iran will know that we mean talk.” The Illinois senator said he would engage Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad in face-to-face negotiations offering “carrots as well as sticks,” meaning that he would “reward Iranian goodwill gestures with stirring laudatory speeches, and punish Iran’s violations of U.N. resolutions with bold rhetorical rebukes.” “We know that President Ahmadinejad wants...

Congress to Halt Closing of Unprofitable Starbucks by Scott Ott for ScrappleFace · No Comments (2008-07-02) — Democrats in Congress today plan to introduce a bill to halt the recently-announced closing of some 600 Starbucks coffee stores, noting that the displacement of 12,000 Starbucks baristas would overwhelm government aid offices not prepared to handle so many clients for whom English is a second language. Baristas, those who serve Starbucks beverages, speak a peculiar dialect that combines pseudo-Italian and American slang with inflections borrowed from ancient hemp-smoking cultures. “These people can’t just walk out of Starbucks and get a job at...