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Keyword: silly

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  • Attention to All Catholics: Protest This Satanic Black Mass in Canada

    08/16/2019 6:15:24 PM PDT · by ConernedAmerican · 14 replies
    TFP Student Action ^ | 08-16-19 | TFP
    I regret to inform you that satanists are planning a blasphemous Black Mass in Ottawa (Canada) at a heavy metal bar called “The Koven” on Saturday, Aug. 17, 2019. This new attack against God and the Holy Catholic Church -- billed as a first in Canadian history -- is described in these terms: "Satanic Unbaptism""Black Mass Ritual""Featuring Burlesque performances” Sign your protest now, right here. No words can describe how evil this is because every Black Mass is a direct sin of hatred against God.  Typically -- in a satanic Black Mass -- the true Catholic Mass is twisted and...
  • Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez livestreamed herself drinking wine and assembling IKEA furniture

    04/05/2019 3:15:55 AM PDT · by a little elbow grease · 65 replies
    theweek.com ^ | 4/4/19 | Summer Meza
    Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez livestreamed herself drinking wine and assembling IKEA furniture. Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-N.Y.) may be in Congress now, but her Wednesday nights still consist of some pretty normal stuff. As BuzzFeed News' Vera Bergengruen pointed out on Twitter, Ocasio-Cortez spent her evening drinking wine, assembling IKEA furniture, and chatting about politics. The difference between the congresswoman and her constituents? More than 8,000 people tuned into an Instagram livestream to watch her do it. Ocasio-Cortez's livestreams often attract attention, like when she discussed the fear of bringing children into a world affected by climate change. The Washington Post even wrote...
  • Need a Smile?

    03/08/2019 2:24:15 PM PST · by sodpoodle · 23 replies
    email | 3/8/2019 | unknown
    A cowboy, who just moved to Montana from Texas, walks into a bar and orders three mugs of Bud. He sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more. The bartender approaches and tells the cowboy, "You know, a mug goes flat after I draw it. It would taste better if you bought one at a time." The cowboy replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in Arizona , the other is in Colorado. When we...
  • Saturday Stuff for Seniors

    02/09/2019 4:19:22 AM PST · by sodpoodle · 19 replies
    emails | 2/9/2019 | unknown
    ALZHEIMER'S EYE TEST Count every "F" in the following text: FINISHED FILES ARE THE RESULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTIFIC STUDY COMBINED WITH THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS..... (SEE BELOW) HOW MANY 'F's? Count them again. WRONG, THERE ARE 6 -- no joke.. READ IT AGAIN ! Really, go back and try to find the 6 'F's before you scroll down. The reasoning behind this is .......... The brain cannot process "OF". F INISHED F ILES ARE THE RE SULT O F YEARS O F SCIENTI F IC STUDY COMBINED WITH THE EXPERIENCE O F YEARS..... Anyone who counts all 6 'F's...
  • State of the Union Fact Check: What Trump Got Right and Wrong (my addition: You'll LOL!)

    02/06/2019 9:00:44 AM PST · by Alas Babylon! · 23 replies
    New York Slimes via MSN ^ | 6 Feb 2019 | 19 Separate people!
    President Trump leaned hard on the strength of the American economy during his second State of the Union address on Tuesday, but with a blend of precise statistics and gauzy superlatives that are much more difficult to measure. He also returned to a theme that dominated the second year of his presidency — a quest for a border wall with Mexico to cope with what he said is a crisis of crime and drugs in the United States caused by illegal immigration. The two issues dominated his address, which in tone was more measured than his biting Twitter feed, but...
  • ‘Empire’ Star Jussie Smollett Attacked in Possible Hate Crime: Police (TMZ spreads fake news)

    01/29/2019 12:57:00 PM PST · by Mount Athos · 30 replies
    daily beast ^ | 1/29/19
    TMZ reported that the attackers shouted “This is MAGA country,” but police told the Beast, “There is no report of that being said.”
  • A Few Friday Funnies

    01/11/2019 7:38:48 AM PST · by sodpoodle · 12 replies
    emails | 1/11/2019 | several
    1.Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written An impressive new book. It's called ........ 'Ministers Do More Than Lay People' 2. Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink And be Mary.. 3. The difference between the Pope and Your boss, the Pope only expects you To kiss his ring. 4. My mind works like lightning, One brilliant Flash and it is gone. 5. The only time the world beats a path to Your door is if you're in the bathroom. 6. I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once. The seat folded up, the drink spilled and That...
  • Halloween Humor

    10/30/2018 4:58:20 AM PDT · by sodpoodle · 8 replies
    email from friend | 10/30/2018 | unknown
    A couple was invited to a swanky costume party. The Mrs. got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. He being a devoted husband protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed and there was no need for his good time being spoiled by not going. So he took his costume and away he went. wife, after sleeping soundly for about an hour, awakened without pain and, as it was still early, decided to go the party. Since her husband did not know what her...
  • The Silly Debate About Socialism

    09/06/2018 6:07:29 AM PDT · by ChicagoConservative27 · 24 replies
    realclearpolitics ^ | 09/06/2018 | Froma Harrop
    What's with all this socialism business? A handful of lefty candidates are calling themselves socialists without a single radical socialistic item on their promise lists. They seem to have little idea of what socialism is. And most of the conservatives talking back to them don't seem to know, either. Simply put, socialism is a system whereby the state owns the means of production. In capitalism, the means of production are privately owned. Would someone kindly tell us which companies Bernie Sanders would nationalize, starting with Bernie Sanders? "Spreading the wealth" is not socialism. Sweden and other Scandinavian countries that Sanders...
  • Technical Support for Seniors

    08/30/2018 3:55:16 AM PDT · by sodpoodle · 19 replies
    email from a friend | 8/30/2018 | unknown
    Why seniors never change their passwords WINDOWS: Please enter your new password. USER: Cabbage WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters. USER: Boiled cabbage WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character. USER: 1 boiled cabbage WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot have blank spaces USER: 50damnboiledcabbages WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain at least one upper case character USER: 50DAMNboiledcabbages WINDOWS: Sorry the password cannot use more than one upper case character consecutively. USER: 50damnBoiledCabbages ShovedUpYourAssIfYouDon'tGiveMeAccessNow! WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot contain punctuation. USER: ReallyPissedOff50DamnBoiledCabbages ShovedUpYourAssIfYouDontGiveMeAccessNow WINDOWS: Sorry, that password is already in use
  • The BIGGEST slingshot EVER

    07/10/2018 11:01:51 PM PDT · by 1_Inch_Group · 10 replies
    youtube ^ | 2 Oct 2017 | Jeorg Sprave
    Heh heh heh....Let me show you it's features...
  • ‘Godfather Waltz’ [NYT piece by Freeper Silly]

    07/07/2018 4:29:31 PM PDT · by Silly · 28 replies
    The New York Times ^ | July 2, 2018 | Paul Klenk
    Dear Diary: On Saturday mornings when my windows are open, I sometimes hear a trumpet player practicing as I’m waking up. The silvery tones ring through several courtyards on my block. I cannot pinpoint the source. The musician is clearly a professional. Scales fly up and down, one impeccable glissando at a time, pausing briefly before climbing to the next half-step. One day, at the top of an octave, the mystery trumpeter added an unexpected flourish… [snip]
  • The Right Way to Shun the Trumpsters

    06/29/2018 6:38:46 AM PDT · by Haiku Guy · 36 replies
    The Daily Beast ^ | 6/29/18 | Margaret Carlson
    Last summer at a party on Long Island, the largely Manhattan crowd was surprised, but polite, when Jared Kushner and Ivanka Trump were among the guests. (snip) Will that happen this year? For Ivanka and Jared, the most visible and social Trumpists, life is mostly like a summer evening out at Jay Gatsby’s. But a lot has happened since last year, from Charlottesville to the internment at the border of innocents, that tries the soul. It’s engendered a raging debate between establishment Democrats who caution not to go against anyone in Trump land in a Trump-like way (Nancy Pelosi, David...
  • Thunder announcer suspended one game after racially insensitive comment about Russell Westbrook

    04/15/2018 4:26:18 AM PDT · by Zakeet · 46 replies
    CBS Sports ^ | April 13, 2018 | Jack Maloney
    The play-by-play announcer said Westbrook was 'out of his cotton-picking mind' The Oklahoma City Thunder suspended play-by-play announcer Brian Davis for one game following his racially insensitive comment about Thunder star Russell Westbrook. During the Thunder's final regular-season game on Wednesday night, Davis said that Westbrook was "out of his cotton-picking mind" following a nifty assist by the guard.
  • Man Cracks Strange Coded Voicemail He Got And It's Deeply Disturbing

    03/16/2018 10:33:27 AM PDT · by 1_Inch_Group · 68 replies
    iheart.com ^ | Today | Dave Basner
    It literally translates to "Danger SOS it is dire for you to evacuate be cautious they are not human SOS danger SOS" and then gives coordinates... i am throwing my phone away
  • Grins, Grimaces and Grumbles for Friday

    02/02/2018 6:05:17 AM PST · by sodpoodle · 19 replies
    email from a friend | 2/2/2018 | unknown
    Dear Sir, ,P.I have a very complicated benefits question. Many years ago, I married a widow who had an 18 year old daughter. After the wedding, my father, a widower, came to visit a number of times, and he fell in love with my step daughter. My father eventually married her without my authorization. As a result my step-daughter became my step mother and my father became my son in law. My father's wife (also my step daughter) and my step-mother, gave birth to a son who is my grandchild because I am the husband of my step daughter's mother....
  • Q drop #29: Reason for cryptic format, North Korea is "directed", pedophiles

    01/20/2018 11:17:32 PM PST · by ransomnote · 387 replies
    qcodefag.github.io ^ | Oct 31 2017 | Q Anon
    Q drop #29 Oct 31 2017 23:13:10 Anonymous ID: grTMpzrL 147452214 Some things must remain classified to the very end. NK is not being run by Kim, he’s an actor in the play. Who is the director? The truth would sound so outrageous most Americans would riot, revolt, reject, etc. The pedo networks are being dismantled. The child abductions for satanic rituals (ie Haiti and other 3rd world countries) are paused (not terminated until players in custody). We pray every single day for God’s guidance and direction as we are truly up against pure evil.
  • Fact or Fiction or Foolishness????

    12/02/2017 1:51:18 PM PST · by sodpoodle · 42 replies
    email from a friend | 12/2/2017 | unknown
    If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. (Hardly seems worth it.) If you passed gas consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. (Now that's more like it!) The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out of the body to squirt blood 30 feet. (O.M.G.!)   A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes. (O.M.G.!!!) A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy) (I'm still not...
  • Why can't the human body multi-task?

    11/12/2017 9:37:11 AM PST · by sodpoodle · 41 replies
    thenakedscientists ^ | 10/11/2009 | multiple entries found
    Question Why can't the human body multi-task? If you turn your right foot and move it slowly in a clockwise circle. So you're going round in a circle with your foot. Then writing a number 6 with the same hand that you're moving your foot on a piece of paper. But the better way to show this actually is to take your hand on the same side of your body as you're moving your foot. Now, try and make that move in a circle in the opposite direction to your foot. The foot follows the hand. Why does that happen?...
  • Simple Border Solution (Vanity)

    05/05/2017 8:39:26 PM PDT · by rapture-me · 40 replies
    self | 5/5/17 | Self
    I am so tired of listening to liberals and weak Republicans arguing about a wall along our southern border that I want to scream. However, at this late date, I’m beginning to see their point. It IS expensive. It CAN be breached with a tall enough ladder. It CAN have holes cut in it. I finally have a cheap, foolproof, workable solution. Why don’t we just allocate a ½ mile wide strip as “No Man’s Land” and plant land mines in it. That would be simple, cheap, fast, and very effective. Plus, we would be notified every time one of...