The American economy is imploding. But don’t worry. Democrats look after Democrats. In recent legislation news, former big hair pop star Cyndi Lauper has thanked Senator John Kerry for looking after “transgender youth” (aka gender identity disorder teens). Apparently, budgeting for makeup, perms, and heels is a real b***h. Clarification update: Cyndi Lauper, 57, is not homeless. Or young. Thanks for your concerns though.