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  • Democrats Assail GOP Case for Balanced Budget

    07/23/2011 9:52:25 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 10 replies
    A Semi-News/Semi-Satire from AzConservative ^ | 22 July 2011 | John Semmens
    Representative Jim Moran (D-Va) insisted that GOP use of former president Thomas Jefferson’s opposition to government borrowing to bolster the case against raising the debt limit is “unfair” and “inappropriate.” “First of all, Jefferson was one of the founders of the Democratic Party,” Moran contended. “If anyone is going to interpret what he stood for that right belongs to members of that same Party. The GOP’s attempt to enlist him for their cause is unfair.” “Second, even if Jefferson may have expressed an aversion to borrowing as a policy position, his behavior was quite the contrary,” Moran continued. “Jefferson loved...
  • Arguing (?) with an Obama Supporter

    07/18/2011 1:09:05 PM PDT · by pabianice · 63 replies
    A Liberal Replies | 7/18/11
    As I noted on another post, I recently, accidentally, hit the dreaded “Reply All” to a post from a third party. The issue involved who is to blame for Obama and his disastrous, destructive policies. One of the “Reply All” people replied with a barrage of Leftist insanity. The argument continues. For the education of my fellow Freepers, here is a collection to date. I post this as an anecdotal but representative sample of the pro-Obama, delusional Left. This may strike some as simply amusing. It is not. It is what we have to face in 2012 and beyond. Misspellings...
  • GE CEO Blames Business Colleagues for High Unemployment

    07/17/2011 1:01:00 PM PDT · by John Semmens · 20 replies
    A Semi-News/Semi-Satire from AzConservative ^ | 15 July 2011 | John Semmens
    General Electric (GE) Chairman and Chief Executive Officer (CEO) Jeffrey Immelt castigated his business peers calling them “the prime suspects” behind the nation’s persistent high unemployment. “They’d like to point the finger at high taxes, excessive regulation, economic uncertainty, or President Obama, but they can’t,” Immelt insisted. “Businesses are the ones that decide whether to hire people. The government isn’t stopping them from offering jobs.” Immelt speculated that “some businesses may be holding back on hiring out of animosity toward the President,” but characterized this as “a bad strategy.” “Look, if you cooperate with the President there are definitely benefits,”...
  • President Dismisses Poll Showing Voters Oppose Raising Debt Ceiling

    07/16/2011 3:24:13 PM PDT · by John Semmens · 22 replies
    A Semi-News/Semi-Satire from AzConservative ^ | 15 July 2011 | John Semmens
    President Obama dismissed the idea that a poll showing 69% of voters opposed to raising the debt ceiling ought to have any impact on policy. “What does the average person know about government finance?” the President wondered. “I’d say practically nothing. An individual’s experience with debt is vastly different from what the government faces. An individual must pay his debts out of his own income. The government has other options.” “For one, the government can tax other people’s income to pay its debts,” Obama continued. “The government can also print money to pay for stuff. Individuals can’t do that.” “Finally,...
  • McConnell’s Proposal to Cede Debt Authority to President Gaining Traction

    07/16/2011 11:20:56 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 47 replies
    A Semi-News/Semi-Satire from AzConservative ^ | 15 July 2011 | John Semmens
    Fearful that a failure to raise the federal government’s debt ceiling “could lead to the end of government as we know it,” Senator Mitch McConnell (R-Ken) has proposed legislation that would grant President Barack Obama unilateral authority to increase the nation’s debt load. “In an ideal world decisions on how much the government ought to spend should be made by Congress,” McConnell said. “However, the current crisis requires that we think outside of the ‘Constitutional box.’ With the legislative power split between our two Parties there is no chance for an agreement on how to deal with this crisis. Our...
  • President Admits Mistakes on Economy

    07/10/2011 2:19:05 PM PDT · by John Semmens · 17 replies
    With the US economy mired in high unemployment and soaring government deficits, President Barack Obama admitted “I might have misunderestimated the impact of the recession,” but insisted “no one else had any better ideas for how to proceed to a recovery.” Hailing the reconstituted General Motors as an example, Obama suggested that “we could’ve been more aggressive in inserting government direction into more sectors of the economy. Fortunately, it’s not too late to pick up the pace of government oversight of business investments and operations.” The president then blamed himself for “excessive deference to Congress. I was hoping everyone would...
  • Homeowner Faces Jail for Front Yard Garden

    07/10/2011 5:48:44 PM PDT · by John Semmens · 6 replies
    Oak Park, Michigan resident Julie Bass faces a possible 90-day jail sentence for planting an “unsuitable” vegetable garden in the front yard of her home. “We came up with the idea as both a way to cut back on our food bill and to teach our kids some useful skills,” Bass said. “Now, every kid in the neighborhood is over here playing ‘farmer.’ They’re also a lot more eager to eat their vegetables after growing them themselves.” Oak Park City Planner Kevin Rulkowski has ruled that the garden violates city code. “Ms. Bass’s household budget, nutritional and educational objectives are...
  • Why Herman Cain could be the GOP's perfect Obama rival

    07/06/2011 10:00:16 AM PDT · by kingattax · 46 replies
    Yahoo/Christian Science Monitor ^ | Jul 5, 2011 | Charlton McIlwain
    Herman Cain defies the stereotype of blacks as liberal. And his embrace of conservatism and rugged individualism might make him the Republicans' best salesman – and counter to Obama. Black candidates must be especially image savvy to navigate the delicate contours of today’s racial politics. They must cultivate racial appeal, without provoking racial resentment, and expend their racial capital, without succumbing to the litany of stereotypes whites associate with them. We thought Barack Obama mastered this art, believing future black candidates must learn at his feet. But Republican presidential hopeful Herman Cain might prove more teacher than apprentice. My co-author,...
  • Minnesota Government Shutdown Hurts Most Vulnerable, Says Gov

    07/04/2011 5:55:03 PM PDT · by John Semmens · 25 replies
    The impasse between the Republican legislature and Democratic Governor Mark Dayton that led to a shutdown of the state’s government is “hurting those most vulnerable” says Dayton. “Take the case of Sonya Mills,” Dayton suggested. “This single mother of eight stands to lose the $40,000/ year subsidy we were providing. Now who’s going to take care of her children? Or is she supposed to do it herself?” Termination of funding to Ms. Mills is a consequence of there being no budget. There is no budget because Governor Dayton refused to consider reductions in spending to match the decline in tax...
  • TSA Thefts from Passengers Called “Collateral Damage”

    06/26/2011 2:38:28 PM PDT · by John Semmens · 16 replies
    A Semi-News/Semi-Satire from AzConservative ^ | 25 June 2011 | John Semmens
    While the Transportation Security Administration (TSA) may have successfully sold the molestation of airline passengers as a “necessary inconvenience” on the road to national security, it is not so easy to explain away theft. Thus far, 200 current TSA officers have been formally accused of stealing from passengers’ luggage. Over 500 TSA officers have been fired or suspended for theft since the agency was established in 2001. “We’re not saying that the thefts are acceptable,” said Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano. “They’re not. But in the grand scheme of things, the risk of losing something from your luggage must be...
  • Treasury Secretary Makes Case for Higher Taxes

    06/25/2011 1:20:03 PM PDT · by John Semmens · 17 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire | 25 June 2011 | John Semmens
    In testimony before a House of Representatives Committee, Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner argued that higher taxes are needed “to forestall a potentially disastrous shrinkage of government.” Representative Renee Ellmers (R-NC) challenged Geithner’s assertion pointing out that “government spending in this country now consumes almost two-thirds of the income generated by the private sector—the most ever in our history. This is hardly a shrinkage of government.” “I didn’t say government was shrinking,” Geithner replied. “I was warning that it could shrink if we don’t find more revenue to feed it. A lot of people don’t understand that government is the crucial...
  • Head of Fed Baffled

    06/25/2011 8:38:05 PM PDT · by John Semmens · 41 replies
    A Semi-News/Semi-Satire from AzConservative ^ | 25 June 2011 | John Semmens
    Ben Bernanke, Chairman of the Federal Reserve Bank (Fed) pronounced himself “baffled” by the state of the economy. “The federal government is spending like there’s no tomorrow, we’ve added trillions to the national debt over the last three years, we’re cranking out more new money than ever before, yet the economy is lying there like a beached whale,” Bernanke mused. “I have to admit, I’m baffled by it all.” Bernanke dismissed businesses’ reluctance to invest as “irrational.” “Look, our ‘quantitative easing’ couldn’t be clearer,” Bernanke insisted. “Whatever they borrow today can be paid back later in cheaper dollars. We’re effectively...
  • President Says ATM a Symbol of What’s Wrong with this Country

    06/26/2011 10:17:17 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 19 replies
    A Semi-News/Semi-Satire from AzConservative ^ | 25 June 2011 | John Semmens
    With unemployment remaining stubbornly high after more than two years of his Administration’s economic stimulus policies, President Obama laid into the ATM (Automatic Teller Machine) as a symbol of what’s ailing the economy. “First off, these machines displace workers, increasing unemployment,” Obama maintained. “People used to be employed as bank tellers to dispense cash and take deposits. Now, millions of these machines have eliminated millions of jobs.” “Secondly, the government’s ability to control how money is dispensed is hampered,” the President added. “These machines are open around the clock and the process is pretty much automatic. If there’s money in...
  • Palin E-Mails Unsettling

    06/18/2011 2:48:17 PM PDT · by John Semmens · 25 replies
    A Semi-News/Semi-Satire from AzConservative ^ | 16 June 2011 | John Semmens
    The release of more than 20,000 of former Governor Sarah Palin’s e-mails has yielded content that some are calling unsettling. “We noted that on more than one occasion Governor Palin mentioned that she hoped for divine guidance to help her reach the right decision on an issue,” the Associated Press (AP) wrote in an unsigned analysis. “This is wrong on several levels. First, it is an illegal mingling of church and state. There’s supposed to be a wall between the two. Palin breached that wall.” “Second, it implies a certain degree of helplessness on Palin’s part,” the AP continued. “Were...
  • Police Seize & Destroy Witnesses’ Cell Phones

    06/13/2011 2:34:20 PM PDT · by John Semmens · 42 replies
    A Semi-News/Semi-Satire from AzConservative ^ | 11 June 2011 | John Semmens
    Police in Miami Beach, Florida destroyed all witnesses’ cell phones after one of them used a phone to record the police fire 100 bullets at a suspect. The shooting left the suspect dead and four bystanders wounded. Police spokesman, Richard Tator explained that the phone confiscation was “standard procedure.” “Multiple recordings of enforcement activities generate unnecessary complications that could endanger the prosecution’s case,” Tator asserted. “To avoid this problem officers are instructed to expunge all unauthorized recordings.” The crushing of a half-dozen cell phones may not have accomplished the desired objective, though. One witness, Narces Benoit, managed to extract his...
  • Feds Raid Home Seeking Student Loan Repayment

    06/12/2011 3:18:23 PM PDT · by John Semmens · 20 replies
    A Semi-News/Semi-Satire from AzConservative ^ | 11 June 2011 | John Semmens
    A federal SWAT operation kicked down the doors of Kenneth Wright’s home in a 6 A.M. raid because his wife, who no longer lives at the residence, failed to repay her student loan. Wright, who had been sleeping, was dragged out of the house in his underwear, thrown face down on the front lawn and held at gunpoint. His three children were not harmed. Secretary of Education Arne Duncan defended the harsh tactics. “Too many people are defaulting on their student loans,” Duncan pointed out. “The old system of pursuing collections through the courts may have been the only alternative...
  • ATTACKS ON WEINER ‘CULTURALLY BACKWARD’

    06/11/2011 12:14:08 PM PDT · by John Semmens · 22 replies
    A Semi-News/Semi-Satire from AzConservative ^ | 11 June 2011 | John Semmens
    MSNBC’s Chris Matthews called criticism of Congressman Anthony Weiner (D-NY) “culturally backward.” Weiner is currently under fire for sending nude pictures of himself to women across the nation and then lying about it. “People say they want transparency from government,” Matthews observed. “What’s more transparent than a naked picture? Isn’t it saying ‘I have nothing to hide?’” Matthews urged Weiner to resist pressures for his resignation. “He needs to stay the course,” Matthews argued. “Now is not the time to surrender to narrow-minded notions of what constitutes appropriate behavior. People shouldn’t be ashamed of their bodies. We shouldn’t hound out...
  • Former Speaker Predicts Democrats Will Take Back House

    06/06/2011 10:31:30 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 27 replies
    Former House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif) predicted that the Democrats will win a majority in the 2012 elections because “voters will have tired of Republican efforts to cut spending and resist tax increases.” “The whole ‘Tea Party’ notion that voters oppose taxes is out-of-date by more than 200 years,” Pelosi averred. “The money isn’t going to the King of England. It’s buying Medicare, Social Security, welfare, corporate bailouts, you name it. Voters love these programs. Bigger government is the only way they can be sure that they continue. Republican demands for ‘fiscal sobriety’ require a self-discipline among voters that just...
  • California Dems Kill Bills that Would Scrutinize Their Behavior

    06/06/2011 6:52:27 PM PDT · by John Semmens · 5 replies
    Legislation that would increase oversight of legislators’ behavior has been pushed aside by the Democratic majority in the California Assembly. Among the bills torpedoed by the Democratic leadership were one aimed at requiring public officials to disclose their sources of compensation, another would’ve banned receiving of “freebies” from lobbyists, a third would’ve docked legislators’ per diem pay for absences. Robin Swanson, spokeswoman for Assembly Speaker John A. Pérez (D-Los Angeles), defended the deferrals of this reform legislation. “With the economy on the rocks and the state budget in shambles now is not the time to penalize hardworking legislators,” Swanson said....
  • Palin Vacation “Dangerous” Says CBS

    06/05/2011 11:19:24 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 41 replies
    Former Alaskan Governor Sarah Palin’s family vacation tour of historic sites has attracted hordes of media attention—a situation that CBS News Producer Ryan Corsaro characterizes as “dangerous.” “We’ve been provided with no schedule or itinerary,” Corsaro complained. “We’re forced to stalk her if we want to find out where she’s going and what she’s doing. It’s very aggravating, not to mention dangerous. Every network wants to be first in line to get the best picture, to be close enough to overhear every conversation. Media vehicles are racing with each other, tailgating, weaving in and out of traffic trying to beat...