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Keyword: weeklyworldnews

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  • Zombies back Romney

    02/24/2012 10:46:03 AM PST · by EveningStar · 24 replies
    Weekly World News ^ | February 23, 2012 | Frank Lake
    Aliens are backing Santorum, so Romney reached out and won the support of American Zombies!
  • KIM JONG II KILLED BY CHUCK NORRIS!

    12/19/2011 4:13:00 PM PST · by presidio9 · 34 replies · 2+ views
    WWW ^ | December 19th, 2011 | Frank Lake
    PYONGYANG, NORTH KOREA - State media declared last night that Kim Jong II is dead… killed by the hands of Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris has had quite a year – he killed Osama Bin Laden AND Muammar Gaddafi, he last night he snuck into North Korea and killed Dear Leader Kim Jong II. Kim Jong Il, North Korea’s mercurial and enigmatic longtime leader, was 69. In a “special broadcast” Monday from the North Korean capital, state media said Kim died of a heart ailment on a train due to a “great mental and physical strain” on Dec. 17 during a...
  • 'Devil' Appears in Bathroom Tile

    09/16/2010 7:30:28 PM PDT · by Free ThinkerNY · 43 replies
    thesun.co.uk ^ | Sept. 15, 2010 | STAFF REPORTER
    A TERRIFIED family fear their toilet has been possessed by the DEVIL after an image of Satan appeared overnight — in a bath tile. Laszlo Csrefko spent a fortune renovating the room at his family home in Bekasmegyer, Budapest, with a new bath, shower and tiles. But after taking her first shower, horrified wife Andrea, 47, fled from the bathroom when she spotted the horned head of the devil in one of the tiles. She said: "I was naked coming out of the shower and I could suddenly see his eyes staring into me. I just screamed and ran." Laszlo,...
  • CLINTON THROWS BACHELOR PARTY FOR MEZVINKSY

    07/31/2010 2:04:26 AM PDT · by tlb · 21 replies · 4+ views
    Weekly World News ^ | July 30th, 2010 | July 30th, 2010
    Rhinebeck, NY - Bill Clinton threw a wild bachelor party last night for his future son-in-law, Marc Mezvinsky. Chelsea Clinton wasn’t happy. Bill Clinton insisted on throwing a bachelor party for his future son-in-law, over the strong objections of his beautiful daughter, Chelsea. But when Bill wants something, Bill gets it. And what he wanted was… girls, girls, girls! The former President brought in seventy-five strippers, pole dancers, and contortionists to the “whipped-cream” themed party held for Marc Mezvinsky at the Veranda House in Rhinebeck. Marc was reluctant, but Bill told him, “You’re a Clinton now son, so you have...
  • Breaking: Megan Fox is a MAN!

    02/21/2010 9:19:23 PM PST · by TruthHound · 128 replies · 5,516+ views
    LOS ANGELES, CA – The internet has been abuzz since this Sunday’s Golden Globes ceremony, where Megan Fox jokingly remarked that she looked like a man. When interviewed on the red carpet, she said “I look like Alan Alda in drag. I’m a tranny. I’m a man.” At the time, reporters passed it off as a jovial attempt to cover for her nerves. However, today she has cleared the air and officially reported: she’s really a man. Megan Fox was born Mitchell Reed Fox in Rockwood, Tennessee. From an early age, Mitchell showed an interest in both performing and women’s...
  • ALIEN BIBLE FOUND

    08/21/2009 2:50:13 PM PDT · by Alex Murphy · 147 replies · 2,699+ views
    Weekly World News ^ | August 19th, 2009 | Erik Van Datiken
    HOUSTON, TX – America’s top secret UFO investigative agency has discovered powerful proof that extraterrestrials believe in God… an alien bible found in a wrecked spaceship! The 132-page, book-like document, printed in symbols representing a mathematical code, is made of an unknown metallic fiber that is impervious to fire or weather and cannot be cut or torn. Its contents are strikingly similar to many elements of the Christian Bible. “The book was found in the wreckage of a UFO discovered at the bottom of the Grand Canyon in the spring of 1994,” said Dr. Henry Leaumont, a California-based astronomer...
  • Ed Anger: Megan Fox Needs to Shut Up!

    06/10/2009 9:00:42 AM PDT · by grizzlyfish · 40 replies · 1,965+ views
    Weekly World News ^ | 6/10/09 | Ed Anger
    Seems some movie star named Megan Fox did what Hollywood types do best: bad mouthing the U.S. of A. to a bunch of foreigners! Megan Fox is in some kind of giant robot movie, and she wishes that instead of destroying the world, the giant robot would “just take out all of the white trash, hillbilly, anti-gay, super bible-beating people in Middle America.” This is pretty crazy, since Megan Fox herself is from Tennessee, where the smartest guy is Al Gore, a big fat idiot who wants the rest of us to use windmills while he lives in a giant...
  • GOP Leaders Protest Stimulus Package By Chaining Themselves to Capitol Building

    01/26/2009 6:58:55 AM PST · by grizzlyfish · 13 replies · 1,560+ views
    Weekly World News ^ | 01/26/09 | Reginald Cunningham III
    WASHINGTON, DC - After criticizing the economic stimulus plan, Republicans have chained themselves to doors of the Capital Building to block its passing. Currently no one can enter or exit the Capital as Republican leaders have chained themselves to every major entryway. The audacious demonstration was led by John McCain who shouted to reporters, “I’m still relevant! See!? I’m still relevant!!!”
  • Fantasy Inauguration

    01/16/2009 5:32:44 PM PST · by EveningStar · 3 replies · 645+ views
    Weekly World News ^ | January 15, 2009 | wwnhideakitailor
    WASHINGTON, DC - In a stunning response to the passing of Ricardo Montalban, Barack Obama has announced last-minute changes to his upcoming inauguration.
  • Obatma Celebrates Kwanzaa

    12/30/2008 5:20:43 AM PST · by Loyalist · 43 replies · 1,856+ views
    Weekly World News ^ | December 30, 2008
    UPDATE - Obatma is spending the first day of Kwanzaa with the Obama family! Obatma, Obama’s half-bat half-brother, arrived yesterday in Honolulu to spend time with his newfound family. He was wearing a scarf bearing the pan-African colors of red, black and green, and carrying one of the Kwanzaa candles. President-Elect Barack Obama briefly spoke to a small group of journalists a few blocks from his home, stating, “While our main celebration is Christmas, we were more than happy to join my brother in honoring his first Kwanzaa in these United States.”
  • Batboy Clears Schedule, Escorted By Black SUVs

    08/28/2008 4:25:40 PM PDT · by freeplancer · 20 replies · 624+ views
    Batboy.com ^ | freeplancer
    It's official, Batboy has cleared his schedule and is being escorted around town by Black SUVs. His press office had no comment. This comes as a surprise to some who remember that Batboy offered his coveted endorsement to Al Gore in 2000.
  • Study Shows Republicans are Ketchup Freaks

    04/28/2008 11:28:30 AM PDT · by indcons · 76 replies · 125+ views
    Which condiment you favor when you lather your hot dog -- ketchup or mustard -- reveals your politics, according to a noted political scientist. "People who mostly or entirely use ketchup are much more likely to favor the invasion of Iraq than those who use mustard," says Dr. Noah Frum, a senior fellow at the prestigious Institute for Political Advantage think tank. "Red is an aggressive, war-like color, whereas yellow is much more passive and low-key, " he says. Dr. Frum conducted his study when one of the political parties, looking for an advantage in the upcoming November elections, came...
  • DEMOCRATS PLANT SEXY INTERN TO SEDUCE BUSH

    04/21/2008 6:46:13 AM PDT · by no nau · 87 replies · 1,395+ views
    Weekly Woeld News ^ | MICHAEL CHIRON
    White House security personnel have reportedly booted a young female intern off the staff after discovering she was a mole planted by the Democrats -- on a mission to seduce President George W. Bush! While the mystery woman's name has not been revealed and the strange incident has been hushed up, administration sources claim that sneaky Democrats cooked up the botched scheme, hoping to create a Monica Lewinsky-type scandal and unseat Bush. "The infiltrator was unmasked within six weeks after Inauguration Day," said a high-level Republican Party source. "Because of the swift actions taken by the White House staff, this...
  • Aliens, Elvis, Bat Boy mourn death of Weekly World News

    08/26/2007 9:31:11 AM PDT · by ConservativeStatement · 44 replies · 1,099+ views
    Miami Herald ^ | August 26, 2007 | LARRY LEBOWITZ
    The Weekly World News is dead, and in the words of its ripsnorting right-wing columnist Ed Anger, the tabloid's dwindling legion of fans should be ''pig-biting mad'' about it. Based for most of its 28 years in Palm Beach County, the Weekly World News delivered the guiltiest of pleasures with wheelbarrows of wit, screaming headlines and a black-and-white design sensibility straight out of 1952. Depending on your perspective, the WWN gloriously chronicled or shamelessly fabricated an alternate reality populated by amorous space aliens, babies born with angel wings and gardeners who marry their vegetables.
  • Weekly World News to Close

    07/25/2007 1:38:53 PM PDT · by MovementConservative · 14 replies · 392+ views
    Yahoo ^ | Tuesday July 24, 4:29 pm ET | By Matt Sedensky, Associated Press Writer
    Mystery! Horror! a Supermarket Tabloid Calls It Quits MIAMI (AP) -- An angel of death has visited Earth! Aliens have pulled off an abduction! A mystery ailment has claimed a victim! Weekly World News, the tabloid that for 28 years has chronicled sightings of Elvis, extraterrestrial activity and the exploits of Bat Boy, is no more. Its publisher said Tuesday it would put out its last issue next month, maintaining only a Web presence. What does it mean for a black-and-white staple that has delivered news of such historical proportions as Bigfoot's capture of a lumberjack he kept as his...
  • Gambian president claims he can cure Aids

    02/03/2007 2:53:49 AM PST · by MadIvan · 18 replies · 807+ views
    The Daily Telegraph ^ | February 3, 2007 | David Blair
    The president of Gambia has claimed the personal ability to cure HIV-Aids within three days.Yahya Jammeh, who has no medical training but boasts an "extensive knowledge of traditional herbal therapy", said that he would personally cure Gambians struck down by the epidemic after announcing what would be one of the great breakthroughs in medical science, if true. "I am not a witch-doctor," said Mr Jammeh, who seized power in the tiny West African country in a coup 12 years ago. "In fact, you cannot have witch-doctor. You are either a witch or a doctor." A government statement hailed Mr Jammeh's...
  • 25 SIGNS YOU ARE GOING TO HELL!

    08/21/2006 9:57:35 AM PDT · by Alex Murphy · 42 replies · 4,144+ views
    Weekly World News ^ | 4/20/2005 | Becky Todd
    Chances are, you're going to Hell, says a Bible scholar. "Ninety-nine out of 100 people are damned," says Jacob L. Pinewood, professor of divinity at Holy Moses College in Jarvis, Australia. "My research indicates God hates us. That's why He made His rules so ridiculous that the average person will never get into heaven." But you may be one of the lucky few, says Pinewood, author of the handy guide So, You're Going To Hell. According to Pinewood, if you answer: "I sayeth yes," to any of the following situations, you should pack for a warm climate when the Grim...
  • INSIDE THE FEDERAL RESERVE: WND unveils comprehensive report on 'fraud of the century'

    07/08/2006 4:44:32 PM PDT · by churchillbuff · 49 replies · 2,427+ views
    WND ^ | July 8 06 | WND
    While millions of Americans look with awe to the Federal Reserve to protect the nation's financial well being, millions more mistrust the Fed, seeing it as an unaccountable, private banking cartel siphoning off citizens' wealth and manipulating America's economy for the benefit of a hidden elite. Where does the truth lie? That's the question that's asked – and answered in-depth – in the July issue of WorldNetDaily's acclaimed monthly Whistleblower magazine. Titled "THE FEDERAL RESERVE: FRAUD OF THE CENTURY," Whistleblower documents authoritatively and with uncommon clarity how the "Federal Reserve" – which is neither part of the federal government, nor...
  • Kansas City customs port considered Mexican soil? [UNFREAKIN' REAL ALERT]

    07/05/2006 5:05:51 AM PDT · by conservativecorner · 137 replies · 2,528+ views
    WorldNet Daily ^ | July 5, 2006 | Jerome R. Corsi
    A Mexican customs facility planned for Kansas City's inland port may have to be considered the sovereign soil of Mexico as part of an effort to lure officials in that country into cooperating with the Missouri development project. Despite adamant denials by Kansas City Area Development Council officials, WND has obtained emails and other documents from top executives with the KCSmartPort project that suggest such a facility would by necessity be considered Mexican territory – despite its presence in the heartland of the U.S. The documents were obtained with the assistance of Joyce Mucci, the founder of the Mid-America Immigration...
  • Mexican customs to be stationed in Kansas City

    06/20/2006 8:02:40 PM PDT · by deport · 65 replies · 804+ views
    World Net Daily ^ | June 20, 2006 | WND
    THE NEW WORLD DISORDERMexican customs to be stationed in Kansas CityNew 'inland port' in heartland part of international plan that bypasses unions Posted: June 20, 20068:21 p.m. Eastern © 2006 WorldNetDaily.com A Mexican customs office is being built in the U.S. heartland as part of a newly designed "inland port" facility that links with a Mexican seaport, an official in Kansas City confirms. Tasha Hammes of the Kansas City Area Development Council wrote to author and WND columnist Jerome Corsi to correct some details of a column on the subject, but she affirmed that a key purpose of the Kansas City...
  • Judgement Day for Republicans

    01/05/2006 6:18:00 AM PST · by Theodore R. · 127 replies · 1,668+ views
    WND.com ^ | 01-05-06 | Farah, Joseph
    Judgment day for Republicans -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Posted: January 5, 2006 1:00 a.m. Eastern © 2006 WorldNetDaily.com This year marks the 12th anniversary of the "Republican Revolution." It will also herald a judgment day for the GOP. Republicans in Congress have several factors working against them: Despite having control, at least in theory, of all three branches of the federal government since 2001, it is difficult to perceive any significant positive change of course for the nation. Spending is way up – even if you don't consider the expenses of the war in Iraq and Afghanistan. Nearly five years after America was...
  • Guy finds out Internet girlfriend is his own Mother

    12/15/2005 11:17:42 AM PST · by freedom44 · 305 replies · 66,966+ views
    Yahoo Entertainment ^ | 12/15/05 | Yahoo Entertainment
    MARSEILLES, France -- Skirt-chasing playboy Daniel Anceneaux spent weeks talking with a sensual woman on the Internet before arranging a romantic rendezvous at a remote beach -- and discovering that his on-line sweetie of six months was his own mother! "I walked out on that dark beach thinking I was going to hook up with the girl of my dreams," the rattled bachelor later admitted. "And there she was, wearing white shorts and a pink tank top, just like she'd said she would. "But when I got close, she turned around -- and we both got the shock of our...
  • LESBIAN MOM WANTS TO GIVE BABY BOY SEX CHANGE

    10/07/2005 9:12:18 PM PDT · by indcons · 100 replies · 20,487+ views
    Weekly World News ^ | 10/06/2005 | MARSH LARIMORE
    LESBIAN mom Kim Marshall wants doctors to turn her adopted baby boy into a baby girl with a full-blown sex change -- now! And if somebody, somewhere, doesn't bring pressure to bear on the woman's plans, toddling 2-year-old Tommy Marshall will soon be toddling "Tammy." "Looking back on it, I never should have adopted a boy, but he was all that was available and I took what I could get because I was desperate," says Marshall, whose significant other, Rosemary Johnson, says she "hasn't been real happy with a boy," either. "It's not that Tommy isn't a sweet kid --...
  • WorldNetDaily: U.S. drags feet on WMD meds

    08/26/2005 10:34:45 AM PDT · by upchuck · 5 replies · 250+ views
    World Net Daily ^ | August 26, 2005 | Ron Strom
    New drugs could save hundreds of thousands in event of nuke terror attack on American soil The manufacturer of a new anti-radiation drug that promises to save lives in the event of a nuclear attack on U.S. soil says the federal government is dragging its feet on a program meant to provide billions of dollars in help with WMD-related medications, while most Americans sit defenseless in the event of a terrorist nuke strike officials say is inevitable. The federal government in July 2004 set aside $5.6 billion for "Project Bioshield" - an incentive program for industry to produce drugs to...
  • The Real Roberts (Conservatives Never Learn From Being Duped By Souter/Kennedy Clones Alert)

    08/12/2005 12:18:19 AM PDT · by goldstategop · 56 replies · 1,443+ views
    Worldnetdaily.com ^ | 08/12/05 | Joseph Farah
    I predicted it. I told you those expected to oppose the nomination of John Roberts to the U.S. Supreme Court would come around after realizing they got their wish – another Anthony Kennedy or David Souter. It's happening. Just check out the column earlier this week by the Washington Post's Richard Cohen. This is the beginning. Soon you will see some of the most partisan Democrats in the U.S. Senate coming around. Mark my words. Cohen's commentary is not directed to Republicans in the Senate, who will support the nomination by President Bush unanimously. It is directed to those who...
  • U.S. Sovereignty; Slip-Sliding Away

    08/07/2005 6:58:15 AM PDT · by antisocial · 94 replies · 1,767+ views
    WorldNetDaily ^ | August 6, 2005 | Henry Lamb
    U.S. sovereignty slip-sliding away -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Posted: August 6, 2005 1:00 a.m. Eastern By Henry Lamb -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- © 2005 WorldNetDaily.com It began in 1994. All the attention was focused on the new WTO emerging from the Uruguay round of GATT negotiations. Little attention was paid to the Summit of the Americas meeting in Miami. The assembled ministers agreed to create a Free Trade Agreement of the Americas and that it would be completed by January 2005, entering into force by December 2005. For ten years, 34 governments have been conducting negotiating sessions throughout the Americas, fashioning a new trade agreement that...
  • The UFO Phenomenon - Seeing Is Believing (Peter Jennings tonight - Live Thread)

    02/24/2005 3:55:40 PM PST · by traumer · 1,052 replies · 15,200+ views
    ABC News ^ | Feb. 24, 2005
    Almost 50 percent of Americans, according to recent polls, and millions of people elsewhere in the world believe that UFOs are real. For many it is a deeply held belief. For decades there have been sightings of UFOs by millions and millions of people. It is a mystery that only science can solve, and yet the phenomenon remains largely unexamined. Most of the reporting on this subject by the mainstream media holds those who claim to have seen UFOs up to ridicule. On Feb. 24, "Peter Jennings Reporting: UFOs — Seeing Is Believing" takes a fresh look at the UFO...
  • HUMANS EVOLVED FROM PIGS - not from monkeys, new theory states!

    02/24/2005 8:48:44 AM PST · by MRMEAN · 53 replies · 1,876+ views
    HUMANS EVOLVED FROM PIGS - not from monkeys, new theory states! Charles Darwin was wrong -- humans evolved from pigs, not apes. And that explains the Biblical prohibition against consuming the flesh of our oinking relatives, according to a startling new theory. "It's hard to believe, but you and Porky Pig are kissing cousins," says genetic scientist Dr. Basil Hainwright of London."Dim recollections of a time when we trotted on all fours and rolled in the mud with our family members probably survived into Neolithic times."And so it is hardly surprising that dietary laws making taboo the eating of...
  • THEY'RE HEERE (4-Star NYPost Review Praises Peter Jennings for Exposing Gov’t UFO Coverup)

    02/23/2005 7:11:28 AM PST · by dead · 208 replies · 5,373+ views
    NY Post ^ | February 23, 2005 | LINDA STASI
    WHY would a serious journalist like Peter Jennings tackle a silly subject like UFOs? Maybe it's because 40 million Americans can't be wrong. It turns out that 40 million of us have claimed to have seen UFOs, while half — yes, half — of all Americans believe in their existence… < snip > So, why, if millions of people have seen UFOs, are the eyewitnesses immediately reduced to the level of raving loonies (from "lunar")? Interestingly enough, that is the legacy of another successful government PR campaign…< snip > The feds thought they could keep a lid on UFO sightings...
  • Arab astrologer predicts Bush assassination

    12/28/2004 1:23:16 PM PST · by EUPHORIC · 147 replies · 5,959+ views
    WorldNetDaily.com ^ | 12/28/2004 | WorldNetDaily.com
    Arab astrologer predicts Bush assassination Oracle famed for prophesying deaths of Diana, Yassin, Arafat © 2004 WorldNetDaily.com A Tunisian astrologer who reportedly predicted the deaths of Princess Diana, Hamas leader Sheikh Ahmed Yassin and Yasser Arafat says President Bush will be killed by an assassin's bullet in 2005. So seriously are Hassan al-Sharibi's predictions taken in the Arab world that a similar prophecy about Palestinian Liberation Organization leader Mahmoud Abbas has resulted in increased security around the candidate to replace Arafat as president of the Palestinian Authority. Abbas' aides put a "great deal of credence" in the prediction, according to...
  • When will Jesus return? Joseph Farah details evidence pointing to Christ coming back to Earth

    12/21/2004 11:49:02 PM PST · by JohnHuang2 · 609 replies · 12,094+ views
    WorldNetDaily.com ^ | Wednesday, December 22, 2004 | Joseph Farah
    Wednesday, December 22, 2004 When will Jesus return? Posted: December 22, 20041:00 a.m. Eastern By Joseph Farah © 2004 WorldNetDaily.com "For a child will be born to us, a son will be given to us; And the government will rest on His shoulders; And His name will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Eternal Father, Prince of Peace. There will be no end to the increase of His government or of peace, On the throne of David and over his kingdom, To establish it and to uphold it with justice and righteousness. From then on and forevermore ..."– Isaiah 9:6-7 (NASB) As...
  • THE APOCALYPSE WON'T BE ALL THAT BAD . . . says famed theologian

    12/09/2004 6:25:18 AM PST · by Alex Murphy · 26 replies · 589+ views
    The Weekly World News ^ | 02/14/2001 | Unkn
    ATLANTA, Ga. -- Forget what you've heard from the doom-and-gloom crowd -- the Apocalypse foretold in the Holy Bible won't really be so bad, a leading theologian says. Bible scholar Dr. Parker Creaston believes that, contrary to widespread belief, the Apocalypse will entail a brief period of "mild to moderate" disorder followed swiftly by worldwide peace and harmony. "I'm tired of seeing so-called experts whip people into a state of hysteria -- and get rich from books that play on the public's worst fears," said Dr. Creaston, who outlines his views in a thought-provoking pamphlet entitled The Apocalypse: Why Worry?...
  • Antichrist (you read it right) will be peace and prosperity on Earth

    12/08/2004 11:05:30 AM PST · by Alex Murphy · 77 replies · 1,423+ views
    Weekly World News ^ | 9/8/2004 | Vincenzo Sardi
    Bible character's rise to power is nothing to fear, says expert GOOD NEWS! Contrary to popular belief, the Antichrist dreaded by so many Christians will actually usher in a new era of peace and prosperity, a maverick theologian contends. "The Antichrist's rise to power is nothing to fear," declares Bible scholar Jon Hornsworth of Atlanta. "He will be a unifying figure whose sound policies revitalize the global economy and put an end to international conflict." Most people familiar with End Times prophecies in the Book of Revelation assume the Antichrist will be an evil dictator. But that's dead wrong, the...
  • THE RIGHT WAY TO ACT WHEN YOU MEET JESUS. . . AND STAY ON HIS GOOD SIDE!

    12/08/2004 6:20:48 AM PST · by Alex Murphy · 31 replies · 559+ views
    The Weekly World News ^ | 11/21/2001 | Unknown
    Most biblical scholars agree that the Second Coming of Jesus is just around the corner, with the Son of God likely to return to Earth as early as December. And a new book by a top Bible expert tells how to conduct themselves in His presence. "If you are lucky enough to meet Jesus in person, you want to make the best impression possible," declares the Rev. Keith Pithe, author of of the exciting new book A Godly Manner. Here are some of the common Second Coming etiquette, followed by the Rev. Pithe's answers: How do I address Jesus? Master,...
  • CHINA TUNNELS THROUGH EARTH -- TO INVADE AMERICA!

    11/11/2004 2:36:47 PM PST · by F15Eagle · 102 replies · 1,372+ views
    BEIJING -- Communism-crazed leaders in Red China have reportedly embarked on a bizarre new plan to invade America -- by digging a tunnel right through the center of the Earth! A U.S. intelligence source claims that the ambitious, top-secret project is well under way and that Chinese tunnel rats have already dug down a mind-bending 104,000 feet -- nearly 20 miles beneath the Earth's surface. "If all goes according to plan, within six years they'll break through on the other side, we believe somewhere in Oklahoma, around the Bartlesville area," reveals the high-level source at the National Security Agency (NSA)....
  • TERESA SHARES REMEDY FOR ARTHRITIS AT CAMPAIGN STOP: GIN AND WHITE RAISINS

    10/15/2004 7:27:27 AM PDT · by new cruelty · 404 replies · 12,261+ views
    DRUDGE ^ | 10/15/2004
    'You get some gin and get some white raisins — and only white raisins — and soak them in the gin for two weeks. Then eat nine of the raisins a day'...
  • Bill Clinton for U.N. Secretary-General?

    08/02/2004 7:53:18 AM PDT · by Horatio Gates · 103 replies · 2,044+ views
    Newsmax ^ | 8/2/2004
    Bill Clinton for U.N. Secretary-General? The Annan-Clinton intrigue is all the more interesting because of the speculation that a President Kerry would appoint Bill Clinton as secretary-general of the U.N. This story is a repeat of reports during the 2000 election that Clinton had a deal with Al Gore that he would appoint Clinton to the coveted global job if Gore won the presidency. But with Clinton aides and associates holding the purse strings at the DNC and with many of the 527 groups that Kerry will need to finance his last laps until November, Clinton may ask for payback....
  • Don't flap about it, just enjoy quirky 'Bat Boy'

    11/03/2003 12:14:41 PM PST · by presidio9 · 9 replies · 197+ views
    The Oregonian ^ | 11/03/03 | BOB HICKS
    Bat Boy has landed, and some of you are going to go ape. Some of you are going to roll your eyes and wonder what all the fuss is about. From Our Advertiser Either way you fall on this ramshackle shaggy dog of a play at Portland Center Stage -- a chicken in the clinches, I flop both ways -- you'll be seeing and hearing a very appealing bunch of singing actors. And you'll be watching the makings of a star. The first thing you notice in "Bat Boy: The Musical" is the striking image of actor Wade McCollum, who...
  • Alien Baby Found in Wyoming

    05/31/2003 7:01:56 PM PDT · by D. Brian Carter · 54 replies · 395+ views
    Associated Press ^ | May 31, 2003 | AP Wire
    CASPER, Wyo. (AP) -- The headline raised some eyebrows, but authorities said there's no evidence an alien baby has been found in Casper. According to a story published in The Weekly World News tabloid, local rancher Phil Merleson found a scaly skinned infant on the floor of his barn May 7 after hearing a humming sound emanating from the building. The story added that mysterious lights were seen in the area the previous night. The creature, the paper reported, has two brains and three hearts, is in good health and can produce high-frequency wails capable of shattering glass. Included with...
  • Saddam Starred in Gay Porn Films!

    04/11/2003 12:47:02 PM PDT · by IncPen · 71 replies · 2,932+ views
    All Weekly World News News via Yahoo ^ | 4/11/03 | By MIKE FOSTER
    KUWAIT CITY -- Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein has been caught with his pants down -- literally. A shocking 1968 porn film has surfaced, in which the flamboyant strongman appears performing raunchy homosexual acts! The image quality of the grainy 16mm film, uncovered by the Kuwaiti secret police, is poor -- but experts who've taken a close look at the hairy-chested actor are "100 percent certain" it is a younger, trimmer Saddam. "There is no doubt in my mind that this is Saddam -- there's no mistaking those eyes and that distinctive nose," declares Hussein biographer Sadiq al-Sabah of Kuwait, who's...
  • The Stalled War

    03/28/2003 6:41:12 AM PST · by stimpyone · 54 replies · 320+ views
    Newsmax.com ^ | 3/28/2003 | Christopher Ruddy
    The Stalled War Christopher Ruddy Friday, March 28, 2003 More than seven days into our new war and the Washington Post is now citing Pentagon sources that this war may last months. Such a conclusion may be premature. But still, the war effort seems stalled and the U.S. is entering the most dangerous phase of the war as we approach Baghdad. Confidence has been replaced with uncertainty, and a cloud of worry looms with the possibility the Iraqis may use weapons of mass destruction. I am not in the anti-war crowd or among the naysayers who want to see doom...
  • LET'S TURN IRAQ INTO THE WORLD'S LARGEST PRISON! (Ed Anger's "My America")

    03/17/2003 8:48:29 PM PST · by Dont Mention the War · 8 replies · 287+ views
    Weekly World News ^ | Febuary 18, 2003 | Ed Anger
    LET'S TURN IRAQ INTO THE WORLD'S LARGEST PRISON! I'm madder than Yasser Arafat at a bar mitzvah over all this jawboning about what to do with Iraq after we kick that cowardly country's butt. President Bush's advisors are saying we may have to occupy the place for a spell. And of course that's got the limp-wristed liberals in a tizzy -- they're scared we won't be able to "control a whole country." Well, I seem to remember us doing a pretty fair job with the Germans and the Japs after World War II. And they had a lot more...
  • Talking Fish Stuns New York [Tells workers- 'Account for yourself because the end is nigh']

    03/16/2003 1:04:17 PM PST · by ewing · 73 replies · 294+ views
    BBC News ^ | March 16, 2003 | staff report
    A fish heading for slaughter in a New York market shouted warnings about the end of the world before it was killed, two fish cutters have claimed. Zalmen Rosen, from the Skver sect of Hasidic Jews, said co-worker Luis Nivelo, a Chistian, was about to kill the carp to be made into gelfilte fish in the City's New Square FIsh Market in January when it began shouting in Hebrew. It said 'Tzaruch shemirah' and 'Hasof bah,' Mr. Rosen told the New York TImes newspaper.It essentially means in Hebrew that everyone needs to account for themselves because the end is nigh.
  • Fox News Alert plummets to irrelevance("Wolf! Wolf!")

    11/26/2002 10:50:45 AM PST · by Diddle E. Squat · 45 replies · 168+ views
    Fox News Channel ^ | 11/26/02 | Imad Ashail Andnotgonnatakit
    Excuse the vanity, but this has gotten completely ridiculous. Fox News Channel just broke in with a "!This is a Fox News Alert!" to breathlessly announce that Nicolas Cage was getting a divorce. Beam me up, Scotty.