Eric Blair 2084
Since Apr 25, 2006
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Eric Blair 2084
Since Apr 25, 2006
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BREAKING NEWS....Robert Gibbs and the Iraqi Information Minister have both been fired by Team Obama as Press Secretaries. Meet the new White House Press Secretary.....Jim Mora.
"Vote for me. I promise to do absolutely nothing and leave everyone the hell alone. You can keep your money and your liberty. My record and my entire career demonstrates a strong track record of doing nothing. Just ask my wife. I don't do the dishes, take out the garbage or mow the lawn... If you want nothing and don't want any Gubmint Cheese, 100% home financing from ACORN courtesy of the Community Reinvestment Act or handouts, I'm your candidate!."
I'm Eric Blair and I approved this retarded message.
"By definition, Progressives hate America. Why would any clear thinking, sane person want to change the greatest country that ever existed on the face of the Planet Earth? God Bless America. I owe this country everything. It owes me nothing."
---Me
----John Wayne
“LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLE!"® is a registered Trademark of Michael Buffer, all rights reserved.
1,500,000,000 rounds of posts, arguments, insults, cheesy graphics, name calling, and ad hominem personal attacks that pass as debate for the FUTURE OF THE REPUBLICAN PARTY!
"Introducing first, to my right, fighting out of the red corner, wearing their Sunday best with a gold crucifix...weighing in at 810 and 1/4 pounds...the social conservatives, the religious right, the champions of family values...from the Southern States...The Evangelicals!" (wild applause)
"And in the blue corner, wearing an off the rack suit, Goldwater ’64 lapel pin and a belt 2 sizes too small...weighing in at 141 pounds soaking wet...the fiscal conservatives, the last champions of limited government...from the Western States...The Libertarians!" (wild applause)
Chapter 1: Live From the Reagan Building
I would like to thank the following liars, charlatans, hypocrites, tyrants and BS artists for helping me write my biography on FR: Center for Science in the Public Interest, Former US Surgeon General Carmona, John Kerry, Al Sharpton, Ted Kennedy, The LA Times, CBS, NBC, ABC, ACLU, Jane Fonda, Al Gore, Nancy Pelosi, Cindy Sheehan, NYC Mayor/RINO/Dictator/Monarch/Epidemiologist Mike Bloomberg, Harry Reid, ASH, ANR, Alter Kaker, Michael Moore, Rosie O'Donnell, Sean Penn, The New York Times, Alec Baldwin, the Iraqi Information Minister, George Clooney, Rob Reiner, Hillary Clinton and Durham DA Mike Nifong. Much like their lies, the following is all Bull...
Dr. Eric A. Blair, MD, PhD, MPH, DDS
After graduating 1st in my Class at the US Naval Academy with a degree in Nuclear Physics, I went on to serve as a Rear Admiral in Vietnam, where I served with many brave men. Then there was this assclown:
The story behind that first Purple Heart that he tells is all nonsense. His injury actually happened at a whorehouse in Saigon, where he was nearly suffocated by a 200 pound Vietnamese prostitute after a night of heavy drinking.
Afterwards me and my partner Al won a Nobel Prize in Science. Our idea was revolutionary at the time. We noticed that people were using their computers for mundane stuff like work and business. We thought, what if these computers can learn to "talk" with each other? Then they can use their computers for important stuff like porn, gambling, and chat rooms. Thus, the internet was born. Al is still pretty bitter that he inadvertantly created sites like Free Republic. I try to remind him that it's for the "greater good":
After graduating from Harvard Medical School, I won another Nobel Prize, in medicine, for my thesis paper analyzing the brain of left wing, Socialist Democrats versus right wing, Capitalist Republicans.
I am currently working on dissecting RINO brains. Any wishy, washy moderate FReeper or member of Congress who would like to participate can send me a private message. You will be eligible for free treatment and free medicine. I've already signed up Chuck Hagel.
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I'm a firm believer in right wing, limited government. The government does have some very important limited roles to fill in our lives:
I'm also a staunch enemy of Big Brother and the nanny state. I am shocked at how many Conservatives of Convenience there are here. People who love Big Government when it benefits their personal comfort.
I'm here to help you and provide a public service for a fee. I am a fully trained psychologist specializing in Nanny State Behavior Syndrome (NSBS). This liberal, left wing, social engineering disease is horrible and can strike anyone at anytime. It can even strike Conservatives who believe in free markets and limited government.
Thankfully, Dr. Feel (a wholly owned subsiduary of Dr. Phil) is here to help you work through your problems.
Please answer the questionaire below, so I know how best to treat you. And please have your insurance card ready for the wallet biopsy. This is a Capitalist country and I don't work for free.
I discriminate against smokers because:
A. The smell of smoke is icky and yucky, it makes my hair and clothes stink and I hate walking into a bar/restaurant where people are smoking. So rather than take advantage of the free market and go somewhere that is voluntarily smoke free, I would rather use the power of the state to impose my personal preference on my fellow citizens.
B. My __________ (choose one: Dad, Mom, Uncle, Aunt, Grandfather, Grandmother, older sister, brother, babysitter, next door neighbor, mailman) abused me by smoking ________(choose one: Marlboro, Merit, Kool, crack, Camel, Kent, marijuana) in the __________ (choose one: house, car, bar, juvenile detention center) when I was a kid.
C. My beloved ___________ (choose one: husband, wife, father, mother, brother, sister, nephew, niece, uncle, aunt, maid, dog, cat, goldfish, gay lover) died from _________(choose one: cancer, heart disease, emphysema, car crash, train wreck, terrorist attack, sting ray) because of their smoking.
D. I smoked for _____ (years) and now I am ________ (choose one: missing it, sick, dead, born again, enlightened, ashamed of myself, if I can't do it, nobody can) and want to share my experience with others.
E. The Big Tobacco companies are lying scumbags and must pay! (you're not coming down off the mountain with the tablets there)
F. I represent Big Pharmaceutical interests that benefit from the anti-smoking movement because it increases the sales of our Nicotine Replacement Therapy (NRT) products.
G. I am a deeply caring individual in the mold of Mother Theresa and I am speaking out due to my benevolent, philanthropic, altruistic concern about the health of my fellow man.
H. I am a research scientist and grant junky, and if I don't tow the party line my grant money will disappear.
I. I'm just a garden variety Fascist and Totalitarian and get a ______ (choose one: cheap thrill, natural high, erection, orgasm) by imposing my will on other people.
J. I am a retard who believes in bogus studies, junk science, the Easter Bunny and the Toothfairy. I fear that because I walked into a bar on Spring Break in 1987, and was exposed to Second Hand Smoke I now suffer from ______(choose one: AIDS, Herpes, Athletes Foot, Jock Itch, male pattern baldness, or genital warts)
K. I am a disgruntled, prissy and angry employee of a ______(choose one: bar, restaurant, club, casino) who can't leave the job because I am a _______(choose one: slave, indentured servant, sweatshop laborer, illegal immigrant) and had no idea there was smoking going on in the place before I took the job.
L. An elected public serpent, serving as a _____ (choose one: State Assemblywoman, Senator, Freeholder, city councilman, mayor) and I have failed miserably in my job and trying to tackle really tough problems like _____ (choose one: gang violence, income taxes, property taxes, crime, corruption), so I will support a smoking ban based on the talking points and literature that "Q" has given me and claim that I have actually accomplished something to help my constituents.
M. An elected public serpent, serving as a _____ (choose one: State Assemblywoman, Senator, Freeholder, city councilman, mayor) and I have failed miserably in my job and trying to tackle really tough problems like _____ (choose one: gang violence, income taxes, property taxes, crime, corruption), and I have no idea what L means. I just want your money because alls yours moneys is belongs to us.
N. I am a Religious Fundamentalist who believes that smoking is strictly forbidden in the ______(choose one: Qu'ran, Bible, Torah, Old Testament, New Testament, David Wells' autobiography "Perfect I'm Not", Hustler Magazine)
O. A Socialist liberal Democrat who is desperate for Universal Healthcare so the proletariet will continue to keep me in power. But if I don't do something about the "demand side" health care costs caused by such global health menaces as _________ (choose one: Marlboro, Merit, Kool, Big Macs, Whoppers, Chicken McNuggets, Budweiser, Coors, Jack Daniels) my health care entitlement program will go ________ (choose your adjective: broke, belly up, bankrupt, insolvent).
P. I'm an anal retentive neat freak and can't stand the sight of cig