Since May 27, 2003

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Osama Bin Laden anagrams

A Lesbian Nomad
A Solid Bean Man
An N.D. Salami Bone
Bad Man is Alone
Do a Lenin Samba
Also a Bean Mind
Is Bad Anal Omen
Me Solid Banana
I'm a Sandle Bone
I'm No Bean Salad
Anal Bias Demon

The train was very crowded, so the soldier walked the length of the train, looking for an empty seat. The only unoccupied seat was directly adjacent to a well dressed middle-aged French lady and was being used by her little dog.
The war weary soldier asked, "Please ma'am, may I sit in that seat?"
The French woman looked down her nose at the soldier, sniffed and said, "You Americans..You are such a rude class of people. Can't you see my little Fifi is using that seat?"
The soldier walked away, determined to find a place to rest, but after another trip down to the end of the train, found himself again facing the woman with the dog.
Again he asked, "Please lady, may I sit there? I'm very tired."
The French woman wrinkled her nose and snorted, "You Americans! Not only are you rude, you are also arrogant."
The soldier didn't say anything else; he leaned over, picked up the little dog, tossed it out the window of the train and sat down in the empty seat. The woman shrieked and railed, and demanded that someone defend her and chastise the soldier.
An English gentleman sitting across the aisle spoke up, "You know sir, you Americans do seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You eat holding the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your cars on the wrong side of the road. And now, sir, you've thrown the wrong b---- out the window."

Rules for good Riting

getting it Write the First time

It is indeed unfortunate that when one rushes to post their comments, be it intelligent and thought provoking dialogue, or unabated spleen venting, some massacre the basic elements of the English language and its correct grammatical usage.

For your consideration, here are some rules that you should follow when divesting your most inner thoughts to the screen or paper:

1. Verbs has to agree with their subjects.

2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.

3. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.

4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.

5. Avoid clichés like the plague. (They're old hat)

6. Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.

7. Be more or less specific.

8. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.

9. Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.

10. No sentence fragments.

11. Use the apostrophe in it's proper place and omit it when its not needed.

12. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.

13. Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it is highly superfluous.

14. Understatement is always the absolutely positively best, most wonderful way to put forth earth-shaking ideas.

15. Comparisons are as bad as clichés.

16. Don't use no double negatives.

17. Avoid ampersands & abbreviations, etc.

18. One-word sentences? Eliminate.

19. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.

20. Puns are for children, not groan readers.

21. Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas.

22. Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.

23. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.

24. Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.

25. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."

26. If you've heard it once, you've heard it a thousand times: Resist hyperbole; not one writer in a million can use it correctly.

27. Who needs rhetorical questions?

28. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.